“Mairead,” James growled sternly. “That’s enough.”
She sat back on the couch, pouting angrily. “Someone had to say it.”
“That’s not up to you.”
“But it’s never stopped her before,” Dylan grinned. He peered up at Mairead. “And what happens when Lena tells me that she doesn’t love me? I’m sure Vanessa filled you in with what happened with Eddie.”
Mairead nodded sombrely. “If it wasn’t for him, it could have been a whole lot worse for me. Lena was right about him and you should have listened to her, but you didn’t. That doesn’t mean she hasn’t forgiven you. It just means you’re going to have to grovel a bit, that’s if you still want her.”
Dylan frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’d be giving up an awful lot to be with her, Maybe you’re not ready for that, but at least be honest with her and tell her. That’s the least she deserves.”
“Yeah, I know,” Dylan nodded as he stood up. “I have to get going. I’ll let you both know the date of Tammy’s memorial and hope you can come.”
James shook his hand. “We’ll be there.”
Dylan looked at Mairead as she stood up, smiling at the curve of her stomach. “You’re going to make a great mother, Mairead.”
“I’m certainly going to try.” She hugged him and grinned up at him. “But if it’s a boy, we’re not calling him Dylan, though I do like the name Damyen.”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “You girls really did do some gossiping, didn’t you?”
“Hell, yeah, so I really do know what I’m saying when I tell you, don’t fuck it up like you did last time.”
“Mairead,” James glared at her. “You can apologise to Dylan now, say goodbye and go and wait for me in the bedroom.”
She bit on her lip as she looked at Dylan, who was chuckling quietly. “My apologies, Dylan, but really, don’t fuck it up.”
“Mairead.” James glowered.
“I’m going,” she huffed, giving Dylan a parting grin. “Bye, Dylan, and love to Lena.”
CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO
It was blowing a gale and raining hard when Lena stepped off the bus, knowing it was still a half hour’s walk to the flat. Her overcoat was keeping her reasonably warm, but it wouldn’t be long before she was soaked through. It didn’t help that the road to the flat was a steep uphill climb and a plastic bag full of groceries was threatening to tear.
“All I need now is pneumonia,” she grumbled as she hurried on.
She saw a car pull up just ahead of her and was tempted to beg a ride with a stranger. The temptation became greater when the passenger door opened and no-one got out, but she continued on until the car moved forward and her name was called.
Peering into it, she frowned and found a new determination to walk, but Dylan was leaving no room for argument.
“Get in or I’ll put you in.”
“Fine.” She climbed in and slammed the door shut.
The warmth of the car was wonderful, but the thought of confrontation kept her mouth firmly closed. Dylan reached across and did up her seatbelt.
“I’ll take you back to Eddie’s flat to get out of those wet clothes.”
She looked at him. “I suppose it shouldn’t come as a surprise that you know I’m staying there.”
“No, it shouldn’t.”
The slightly stern edge to his comment made her grin. She couldn’t deny that she was overjoyed to see him, but she steeled herself, knowing this was a moment she had dreaded. It was too easily remembered how quickly joy could dissolve into bitter disappointment.
Dylan glanced at her. “Why didn’t you get a taxi from the city in this weather?”
“I don’t have money for taxis.”
“So do you have money for a doctor when you get flu or worse?”
“I have money for honey and lemons. That usually works fine for me.” She smiled again when she heard him mumble something about stubborn women.
They didn’t speak again until Dylan was pulling into the carpark at the block of flats. He was frowning when he switched off the engine. “Why here?”
“Because it isn’t costing me anything and Eddie told me I could use it if I needed to. He also asked me if I could pack up a few things for him. Thank you for the ride.”
“Stay there, until I open your door.” He held his hand out. “Give me the keys.”
“I can manage.”
“Give me the keys, Lena.”
She got them out of her handbag and dropped them into his hand. He was out and rushing around the car before she could say anything else. Her door was opened, and as she climbed out, Dylan pulled her up against him, holding his jacket over her head as he hurried her to the stairs.
Within a minute they were inside the small flat and Dylan was stripping her coat from her. “Go and have a hot shower. I’ll find clothes for you.”
“Jahn, I’m quite capable…”
He glared at her. “Now is not a good time to be arguing with me.”
“Now is a very good time,” she replied angrily. “Before I strip my clothes off for a shower with you in this flat, unless you want to leave.”
“I wouldn’t take advantage of you.”
“Your presence takes advantage of me, because my brain doesn’t work properly when you’re near me, and I’ve worked hard to make some sensible decisions.”
“Decisions?” Dylan frowned. “You want to tell me about them?”
Lena bowed her head. “I’ve been to five meetings with some very nice people and today I was able to stand up and say I’ve been two weeks sober, and they applauded me and gave me lots of encouragement. I felt very good about myself.”
“That’s incredible, Lena,” Dylan smiled. “I’m proud of you, too.”
“I came here, because I told Eddie that I needed to get out of where I was staying, because it wasn’t good for me to be around alcohol. He told me to use this place and asked if I would do him a favour.”
“What favour?”
Lena went over to sideboard and picked up an old photo of a young, blonde woman who was smiling joyously at whoever had taken the picture. “This was Eddie’s wife, Tatiana. He said it was all he had left of her and he hoped I would look after it for him. It was all crumpled and I bought a frame for it.”
Dylan took the picture and studied the face. “She was a beautiful woman. Kind, gentle… and I probably cared for her more than I should have, though Eddie was the only man she loved.”
“You and Eddie, you had so much history together. I would love to hear about...” She stopped. “Anyway, as you can see, I am comfortable here and…”
“You were telling me the decisions you had made,” he reminded her.
She nodded. “I thought maybe you, or the people you have, will help Greta and I get the papers we need to stay on in New Zealand for a while. Greta has so much ambition and she talks of these girls that she’s helping and the good she can do for others like them. I’m happy for her and she promises to spend as much time with me as she can.”
“And what will you be doing?”
“I’ll find another job. My former employers had to fill my position and I don’t blame them. I have a little money from holiday pay, and it gives me time to focus on my sobriety and make plans for my life.”
“And these plans don’t include me?”
Lena frowned. “Plans aren’t like dreams. They’re achievable and they don’t hurt as much if they don’t come true. Dreams are for nineteen year old girls.”
“And I listened to all of them.”
“Only because you were spying on my home.”
Dylan grinned. “My favourite one was the about the prince who went to rescue the princess who had been locked away by her evil stepmother. When the prince succeeds, he marries the princess and is very much in love with her, even when she is naughty and he has to put her over his knee and spank her bare bottom, but he always cuddles her after.”
Lena was
blushing furiously. “You had no business listening to my silliness.”
“Come to think of it,” Dylan grinned. “Most of your stories ended with a spanking.”
“Jahn, stop it,” she told him crossly. “You’re embarrassing me. You know what it was like for me at that time, and those stories were for my dolls, not for you. Don’t make fun of me.”
“I would never make fun of you.” He lifted her chin to make her look at him. “At a time when I didn’t have much to smile about, you and your stories made a very dark place a little brighter, and yes, sometimes I would laugh, but never at you. I would laugh because just listening to you made me happy.”
“Well, I’m glad that I was able to do that for you.” Her eyes became watery and she moved away quickly to the kitchen, unpacking her groceries. “Would you like a drink, a coffee maybe, and I’ve baked a banana cake, which was a terrible idea, because I’ve already eaten half of it.”
“I’m fine thanks.” Dylan wandered in closer and leaned back against the bench, watching her. “I did want to talk to you.”
Lena kept moving, filling the kettle, fetching a cup out and wiping an imaginary spill.
“Lena.”
She paused, pursing her lips tightly as she finally frowned at him. “What?”
“May I talk with you please?”
“I don’t need explanations. Whatever you’ve come to say, just say it and I’ll be fine.” She went to the refrigerator and removed a picture from the magnet pinning it to the door. Holding it in her trembling hand she gazed at the words on a background of a tree-lined road leading to a golden sunset. “They gave me this at my first meeting, such beautiful words about accepting the things I can’t change, having courage and wisdom…” She stopped as her lip trembled and tears spilled over.
Dylan moved towards her, but she backed away.
“Please, Jahn, please just say it.”
“Alright,” he nodded. “To begin with, I’m sorry for how I treated you over Eddie. You were right and I was wrong, but regardless, I should never have spoken to you the way I did. I’d already made that mistake earlier and then repeated it. I’m sorry, Lena.”
She smiled. “I know you are and I’d already forgiven you. Greta has told me what you have been through, the friends you’ve lost so recently. Your anger towards Eddie was justified, but misinformed. I hope you made your peace with him.”
“I did,” Dylan nodded. “And I have you to thank for that. You saved me from making one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I’m here today, hoping to rectify another one.”
“And what would that be?”
Dylan frowned. “I had planned something a little different, but now seems as good a time as any. Lena, I love you, I love being with you, I love the way you make me feel and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want you to marry me and be my wife.”
Her mouth fell open and she stared at him. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Dylan grinned. “I can say it in Russian or English if you prefer.”
“You came here to say goodbye to me,” she insisted.
“No,” he frowned. “I actually came here to see if you would like to come out with me, so I could take you to the executive suite of a hotel I have interests in, and which at this moment has a lot of flowers and candles all over it, so I could propose a little more romantically.”
Lena stared at him. “You didn’t come to say goodbye?”
“No.” He reached in to the inner pocket of his leather jacket and drew out a small box, putting it on the bench.
She gasped, staring at it anxiously, and looking back at Dylan. Her shaking hand reached out and then snapped back at she became flustered, looking about, before running straight past him to the front door.
The heavy rain soaked through her dress as she started down the stairs, barely able to see them through the rain and her tears. She had only managed a few, when Dylan overtook her and threw her over his shoulder, taking her back to the flat and straight to the bathroom.
Setting her down, he glared furiously at her weeping face. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I need a drink,” she bawled. “I can’t take this. I can’t do it. I haven’t got courage or wisdom.”
“You need a shower,” he replied angrily, beginning to strip off her clothes and turning the water on. “I didn’t come here to upset you.”
“No,” she sobbed. “You came here to pity me.”
He paused, staring at her furiously. Without a word, he seized her under his arm, bending her over and ripping her wet panties down to her knees. The harsh spanking that followed on her cold, wet bottom had her screaming. When he stopped and pulled her up, his expression was dark.
“I did a lot of thinking to be here today,” he told her. “I know how much pain I’ve caused you, and I could still bring trouble to your life and I have every doubt I will ever be able to make you happy, but I came anyway, because you deserve to know. I love you and I can’t stand the thought of losing you again. I wanted to beg you to be my wife, because you have every reason in the world to do what I did to you nineteen years ago. That’s how selfish I am, Lena, because I would be happy just being with you, even if you didn’t love me.”
Her crying quieted, and she pouted at him angrily. “That hurt.”
“It was meant to,” he replied, testing the water. “Now get under that shower.”
Lena stripped off her remaining garments and stepped under the shower, turning away from him. Dylan pulled his jacket off and tossed it out the door, before getting the soap and beginning to lather her body.
“So do you?” he asked, washing her shoulders and back.
“Do I what?”
“Still love me?”
“You just smacked my bottom, bullied me into the shower and don’t even ask if I want you to wash me. You just do what you want and I get no say over any of it, and then you have the cheek to ask if I still love you.”
He turned her to face him. “That’s the best time to ask you, because that’s the kind of husband I will be. Domineering, possessive and strict, turning you over my knee the moment you disobey me, and constantly wanting to make love to every part of your body. To tell you anything else would be lying, and you deserve the truth.”
She frowned at him. “And what if I wanted to go to my meetings?”
“Then you would have my encouragement and support, because I know how important they are to you.”
“And what if…” She took a deep breath. “What happens when you get bored of me and remember much more exciting times and much more adventurous women, younger and prettier than me?”
“For a start, I would never get bored of you and I would never do anything you didn’t want me to do. I don’t doubt there will be times, when I will miss certain activities, but it doesn’t compare to how much I would miss having you with me. I already know how that feels. Lena, I’m not asking you to marry me because I think I might be some prince that is coming to rescue you. I’m asking you to rescue me, because I need you, I need the happiness you give me in my miserable fucking life. If anyone’s to pity, it’s me, because I was stupid enough to believe I could live without you.”
Lena’s lip was trembling as she reached up to touch his face. She tried to speak, but lost her words in sobs as she seized him into an embrace, burying her face into his shirt. For a moment, Dylan held her. In another, he was lifting her against the tiled wall, pressing his body between her legs, forcing them to grip his hips and cling to him.
The water rained over him as he gazed at her startled face. “Say it.”
She gazed at him. “I love you, Jahn. I love you and always have.”
“And?”
“And I want you to be my strict, domineering husband who spanks my bottom and bosses me around and makes love to me all the time, and… and you’re getting terribly wet.”
“I’ll be saying the same to you before this day is over and you won’t be in the shower.”
>
“Your buckle is crushing my clit and my bottom is still burning. I’m already way ahead of you.”
Dylan laughed and then lovingly studied her one more time before capturing her mouth in a kiss. Lena melted with the desperation of it, overwhelmed by his desire for her, and knowing it was only a taste of what she could expect later.
He eventually put her down with a grimace of pain, at which she glared at him angrily. “You’re still hurt. What are you doing, lifting me up like that? If I have to look after myself, then the same goes for you, and now you’re all wet…”
“And I have extra clothes in my car,” he grinned. “I’ll go get changed while you finish up and I’ll be back to take you away with me, and maybe carry out my original plans before you messed them up.”
When he was gone, Lena turned the water off, wrapped a towel around herself and wiped the steam from the mirror. Her reflection smiled back with wet hair and red eyes with fine lines at their corners to remind her she wasn’t nineteen anymore.
Her heart felt as if it might burst with happiness. She certainly felt all the excitement of her youth as she hurried to dry herself, brush her hair and apply a little make-up, before hurrying to the bedroom to dress. She cursed for not having any sexy underwear, not that it would stay on for long. At least her dress was pretty, a lilac chiffon with a low neckline, hanging lose to hide a few bulges. Her perfume also had a soft lilac scent.
When she came out to the lounge, she was surprised to see that Jahn had not returned. Sitting down, she folded her hands and waited, feeling all the nerves and tension of anticipation. As the minutes passed, she became fidgety and began to feel another type of tension. Looking at the front door, she felt the chill of a memory that had become the cage for her heart, the sight of Jahn walking out the door and leaving her alone in that kitchen in Ukraine.
Sometimes after a heavy drinking session, the dreams were so real, as if Jahn was right there beside her, touching her and telling her how much he loved her. Waking up had always been the real nightmare.
Sins of the Master Page 81
