by Lynda Renham
She seems to go all glassy eyed.
‘Your father does a lot of things you don’t know about,’ she says with a wink.
Oh, how gross is that. Not the sort of thing you want to hear about your parents.
‘I have to go soon.’
‘I’ll cover you.’
I shake my head. My mother seems to think she is in an episode of 24.
‘Don’t tell anyone.’
‘Of course I won’t. Is the intel reliable? Do you know for certain it is from Alex?’
I nod but she looks at me suspiciously.
‘He mentioned my Wonderbra. He’s had me remove it several times,’ I say proudly without thinking.
Her mouth opens. She leans towards me and plonks a kiss on my cheek.
‘Well done, Libby. I couldn’t have wished for better. Now, when do you leave?’
‘Soon, oh and I need a shirt and tie for Alex.’
There is a light knock at the door and we stare at each other in horror.
‘Who’s that?’ asks mother.
‘How do I know?’
‘Libby, baby, are you awake?’
Oh God, it is Toby. This is all I need.
‘Baby?’ mouths my mother.
I shrug.
‘What shall I do?’
Mother’s eyes widen.
‘Keep him talking, I can nip to his room and steal one of his shirts.’
I shake my head frantically.
‘No, you can’t. I’ll take one of daddy’s shirts.’
‘They will be far too big. Toby’s will be a better fit. Keep him occupied.’
Before I can object she has opened the door.
‘Toby, do come in,’ she says gaily and pushes him so forcefully into the room that he trips and collides with me.
‘I’ll be back in a sec,’ smiles mother closing the door.
I gently push him away.
‘You smell lovely,’ he says huskily leaning towards me again. I quickly sidestep him and he lands on the bed. Classic or what?
‘I thought your mother didn’t like me,’ he says running his fingers through his hair. ‘I’m sorry about before, you know at dinner. I thought you and I could go for a drink or something. It’s still early, not that there is anywhere safe to get a sodding drink but still…’
‘Well, I…’
He lunges at me and this time I don’t sidestep so well. In fact I do a sort of shuffle, lose my footing and fall back onto the bed with Toby on top of me. His hands roam over my body and I shiver. What is wrong with me, this is the man I want to be engaged to isn’t it?
‘God, you feel so good Libby. You and I are meant to be together aren’t we? We’re different to that prick Alex and his girlfriend Penny…’
We are? His warm wet lips are on my neck now and his tongue is softly winding its way down my throat towards…
‘Toby,’ I say firmly pushing him back. ‘Mother will be back any minute.’
He pulls away and looks curiously at me.
‘I’m sorry I snapped earlier, it’s just this bloody country. It is driving me mad,’ he says softly, winding my hair around his fingers.
His other hand is on my knee and I put my own hand on top of it to stop it rising up.
‘Oh Libs, let’s move in together when we get back. What do you say? Give up all this writing rubbish and I’ll take care of you.’
What does he mean, give up the writing rubbish? I’ve only just started.
‘This isn’t us is it, Libby? Alex Bryant and his girlfriend are in a different league to us. All this political crap, I mean, who needs it? Let’s get back to our simple life in simple Fross. You can start a little baking business. We’ll get engaged, that’s what you want isn’t it?’
Simple life in simple Fross. Baking business? Good God, is he right? Perhaps he is. I am just a simple country girl after all. Alex Bryant is a well-known hero and award-winning journalist, not to mention highly acclaimed author. He appears on TV chat shows and radio broadcasts. He is every woman’s dream and probably knows it. Oh heavens, what am I doing apart from making a total fool of myself? Isn’t this what I have been wanting, for Toby to ask me to get engaged and move in with him?
‘Oh, Toby… I…’ I stammer.
Toby mistaking it for a plea of passion pushes me back onto the bed. His hand is on my breast, squeezing and caressing it like a piece of Play Dough.
‘God, this heat Libs, makes me want you so much more,’ he says into my ear, his voice thick with desire while reaching for the air-conditioning switch.
I jump at the sound of knocking and attempt to get up but Toby’s lips latch onto mine and I am propelled back onto the bed by lip suction.
‘You know you want it,’ he breathes into my ear.
‘Libs, what the fuck are you doing?’ screams Issy in a voice so shocked that you would think she had caught me frolicking on the bed with one of the hotel staff.
‘Kissing me if you must know,’ snaps Toby sitting up. ‘And if you hadn’t have barged in we probably would have done more,’ he says zipping up his jeans noisily.
Well, I’m not so sure about that. Mother then pushes past Issy and stares open-mouthed at us. Toby straightens his clothes and it all seems terribly sordid.
‘Christ, what is this, a party?’ Toby grumbles.
‘Well, don’t go getting any ideas that it’s an orgy,’ Issy snaps.
Toby scoffs loudly.
‘As if,’ he mutters. ‘I’d rather walk on hot coals.’
I don’t believe this is happening. God, I will never get to Alex at this rate. Toby looks from one to the other and then heads for the door.
‘Buzz my room when you are finally alone and I’ll pop back,’ he winks seductively and walks out.
‘Yuk, I feel sick,’ mumbles Issy.
I exhale loudly. What is wrong with me? Just a few days ago I would have done anything for Toby to have made a pass at me like that. Honestly, it is just typical. The man I so desperately wanted to love me now seemingly does, and I think I love someone else. Mother pushes a shirt into my hands.
‘I took it from his laundry in the end. It is waiting for him in reception. He’ll never miss one.’
My mother doesn’t know Toby and his shirts. Issy hops from one foot to another.
‘Fenella told me. Alex is the kind of man you need. Go for it. Forget about that little shit Toby.’
Mother hands me two ties.
‘These are your father’s. I’m sure Alex will appreciate them.’
‘Does dad know you have taken these?’
She waves a hand dismissively.
‘His gout is playing up. He’ll hardly notice. Besides once I tell him it is all in aid of you getting off with a military man, he will be more than happy.’
‘I think you are forgetting he is engaged to Penelope and he’s only invited me for coffee. He probably feels bad at the way he snapped at me.’
‘You mean in the way she forgets that you and Toby are an item,’ says Issy lowering her eyes at me in a stern manner.
‘Exactly, and it seems that Toby and I are an item again and I shouldn’t even be going for coffee. He should be inviting Penelope not me.’
‘Yes, of course and we all know that Alex is the kind of man who needs you to tell him what to do. He has asked you for coffee, now bloody go.’
Issy pushes me towards the door with mother nodding earnestly. I suppose she has a point. I accept the tube of pepper spray which mother hands me and rush downstairs to get a tuk-tuk, scratching my toes as I go.
The journey there is slower this time and I remind myself that I had bombed it on the bike. I am so nervous that my body trembles and it isn’t as cool as I thought it would be so I am also perspiring for England. Alex opens the door as soon as the tuk-tuk pulls up.
‘I’m glad you came,’ he smiles, pulling me inside. I can feel the heat from his body. Now I feel really guilty. It isn’t like I am stealing Penelope’s boyfriend is it? I mean, technical
ly nothing is going on, apart from in my mind, of course, where just about everything is going on. And it is pretty indecent inside my head, I can tell you. Most of my thoughts consist of Alex Bryant ravishing me. I find I am looking at his crotch again and feign a yawn in an attempt to tactfully avert them. Heavens I feel quite odd. The two burly men I had seen earlier move aside so I can pass through but not before giving me a cautious look.
‘I’m sorry about earlier,’ I say, blushing as I walk past them.
‘Great bike riding by the way,’ Alex compliments me.
‘That wasn’t what you said earlier.’
He bites his lip and lifts his eyebrows. God, I’ve never been more aroused in my life.
‘I was angry.’
‘Isn’t four bodyguards a bit extreme?’ I say thinking aloud.
‘It’s to protect me from Toby,’ he says. I turn sharply to look at him.
‘No, obviously not, that was a joke,’ he adds quickly as though embarrassed. ‘I’m sure that Pong wouldn’t risk anything extreme but I don’t want him or his henchmen to sabotage my TV appearance tomorrow.’
He is wearing shorts and a white tee shirt and they somehow make him look young and innocent. I lick my lips and struggle to think of something to say. All I really want to say is would you like to ravish me now or after coffee? But, instead I say,
‘I brought some sweet sticky rice. Would you like some? Mother bought so much today.’
Good God, I manage to say that in such a sultry voice that it sounds like I am offering him my breasts on a plate. He just smiles in that handsome way that he has and I swear my G spot trembles. He looks gorgeous and not all hot and bothered like me. His hair is a bit messy and it looks like he hasn’t shaved but that somehow makes him look even sexier.
‘I’ll have some of that water you’re holding.’
I pass it to him and his hand touches my own very lightly and I stifle a little gasp as my G spot does another little dance. I shall have to sedate my loins if I go on like this. We walk into the living area which basically is an open plan lounge-diner. Through a small gap in the door I see two other men sitting at the kitchen table playing cards. They nod at me before standing up and closing the door. Alex is silent for a while and I have not got a clue what to say. Finally he speaks and I am mortified at his words.
‘How is Penelope? She is here isn’t she along with everyone else?’ Is that exasperation in his voice?
‘She is fine,’ I say quietly and then stupidly add, ‘Worried about you and missing you, obviously.’
He turns to glance at me.
‘And you, have you missed me?’
My mouth goes dry. My heart skips a beat and my loins do their usual tremble. Honestly you would think I hadn’t had sex in years, not just weeks. Now, I must give the right answer to this question. Why is it whenever I am with Alex Bryant I always find myself answering some difficult question?
‘Is there a right answer to this?’ I ask, grimacing.
‘Most certainly,’ he replies with a smile in his voice.
Now comes the difficult part. Should I tell the truth and admit that yes, I have missed him and that I felt terrible about our stupid argument. Do I even go so far as to tell him that I actually have feelings for him? Whoa, slow down Libby. Don’t forget he is engaged to Penelope and he did ask after her first. Yes, but Penelope is a bitch, right, and she is making eyes at my boyfriend isn’t she? But hold on, is Toby still my boyfriend? Oh God, what a time to get all confused. I remind myself that Toby and I broke up. Yes, but then again, he did come all the way to Cambodia to rescue me, not that he has done a very good job of rescuing me but he did fight Alex for me, and he did say that he realised he loved me. So, why is he coming on to Penelope, or is she coming on to him? God, I’m getting a headache. I must not forget also, that I am really not the Alex Bryant type. I mean, let’s face it, he is Ace, ex-SAS officer and British hero. Who am I? Libby Holmes, boring fat woman from the country whose only claim to fame is that she blew the national grid with her vibrator usage. That makes me look more like the national slut than national heroine. Oh dear, this is not going to work. Mother will be devastated.
‘I may need to phone a friend,’ I reply scratching madly at my feet and gasp when I see that they are red and swollen. He glances down at them and pushes me gently onto the couch. Great. Trust me to develop chilli red feet in the middle of a romantic interlude.
‘Let me look at your foot.’
Not the most romantic come on I’ve heard. I lift my foot and he gently places it in his lap and, oh yes, there go the fireworks in my loins. Who would have thought feet were erogenous. After studying it for a few seconds he places my foot gently on the floor and reaches into his bag where he pulls out a first aid kit. Without a word he picks the foot up again and places it gently in his lap. I’ve never been more aroused.
‘I’m going to clean it gently and then put some antiseptic on them. I think you should take an antihistamine when I’ve finished.’
I think I’ll need a Valium when he’s finished. However, I settle for an antihistamine and swallow it with the water he hands back to me. He sits beside me and I struggle to keep my breathing even.
‘Well, did you miss me?’ he asks again looking directly into my eyes.
I swallow and bite my lip.
‘Yes, I did,’ I say softly.
‘Well, that’s good,’ he responds brightly and would you believe moves away from me, just as I am all ready to throw myself wantonly across the couch.
‘By the way,’ he continues casually, ‘your face is covered in those bites too.’
Oh my God, no. Bugger and piss it.
‘Oh no,’ I cry. ‘How could you let me sit here like this without saying something?’
‘I just did,’ he laughs.
I fumble in my handbag for a mirror.
‘Come on, it’s not that bad. I happen to find you very appealing with or without the rash.’ He is smiling again and my stomach does a little flip.
‘You do,’ I say uncomprehendingly.
‘I do.’
‘But Penelope…’
‘It’s not working with Penelope,’ he interrupts. ‘We discussed our relationship weeks ago. Penny is too everything I’m not, too house-proud, too intense, too status dependent. Once we started living together I could see it wasn’t going to work.’
Not working? Did he really say it was not working with Penelope? Surely I am dreaming. I fight an overwhelming urge to phone my mother. This is surely too good to be true. Someone like Ace Bryant with me, I mean cool or what?
‘But I’m overweight and not in the least sophisticated…’
‘You also sometimes talk a lot of rubbish. It’s a shame about your temper and that silly tendency you have to defend Toby what’s-his-name, but overall I have to admit to finding you great company and those articles you wrote were brilliant by the way and the way you rode that bike, well, classic I’d say, even if a bit wobbly.’
‘You saw me?’
‘I did. I was less impressed with the way you greeted my friends on your arrival though.’
I see he is smiling at me and I gape at him. Backhanded compliments or what? He leans towards me and I hold my breath.
‘What about you and Toby?’ he asks softly.
‘Oh, Toby and I…’ I stammer stupidly looking past him to the window and the bright full moon.
He continues looking at me.
‘He has never committed to me and now I don’t really want him to.’
‘Right, well if that is the case then I’m sorry but I’ve just got to kiss you and this time I won’t pretend it is for any other reason than I want to,’ he says breathlessly, moving towards me.
My loins have gone insane now, and I can’t blame them. I have lost my train of thought and all I am aware of is the smell of him, that all empowering smell of danger, urgency and manliness. My hand drops to his firm thigh as my body weakens. His gaze meets mine and I am engulfed by a tid
al wave of emotion and longing. God, he feels so strong, so dangerous and so deliciously sexy that I feel almost faint. His hand strokes my neck and then he pulls my head gently towards him and I feel the undercurrent of his desire bubbling below the surface. His other hand cups my cheek. Beneath my own hand his thigh seems to be trembling. His lips seem so far from mine that I feel it will be forever before they come together. The only sound is his breathing, for mine has surely stopped. His hand has moved from my cheek and is gently stroking my back. My eyes close and the moon disappears and the only sensation is his warm lips on mine, urgent and demanding, while his strong arms hold me close. I’m in heaven and I’m in love. I feel I could stay in his capable arms forever, but he gently pushes me back.
‘This really isn’t the place is it?’ he says softly and I hear the tremor of desire in his voice.
I try to breathe normally, but it is impossible. Alex Bryant has turned me into a quivering wreck. Good Lord, I am Libby Holmes, domestic goddess no longer. I have metamorphosed into a real sex goddess. Mother won’t only be proud she will most likely, for the first time in her life, be speechless, as indeed am I.
I nod and try not to let my disappointment show. He walks to the window and draws the curtains. I am about to speak when he pulls me back into his arms. The smell of him again makes me feel faint. His lips hungrily devour mine and he urgently pushes me back onto the couch pressing his body against mine. I can feel the rapid beating of his heart and feel sure it matches my own.
‘I so much want you to stay here with me,’ he whispers into my ear, his deep voice drowning out the sound of our thumping hearts. His hand gently pushes down the front of my top and I grasp it with my own and hold it tightly. His head snaps up and he looks at me, the desire in his eyes so fierce that it takes my breath away.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says softly, removing his hand but still holding onto mine. ‘I’m losing control, it’s not like me.’
Oh, I don’t mind. I try to breathe normally but my body is not having any of it.
‘Libby, these past few days spent with you have been some of the best days of my life.’
I look around the room for some divine inspiration but nothing comes and all I can manage is a loud sniff for which he produces a tissue. God, I am feeling bloody traumatised.
