Something Forever

by M. Clarke

“From my perspective, yes, that bad.”

  Tanner took a sip of his water. “Why don’t you tell me about it? I can give you a diagnosis. No charge. Free on me,” he snorted.

  “But you don’t specialize. You’re a family doctor.”

  “We had to learn the general aspects of all health situations and conditions. I may not specialize in a specific field, but I know enough. If I don’t, I’ll let you know.” He winked.

  “Okay.” I nodded. After all, he was a doctor and I needed a second opinion.

  “Before you tell me what it is, my place is a short train ride from here. Would you like to talk there? I promise this isn’t a pick up line. And I promise I won’t try anything.” He lifted his hands to surrender. “I swear.”

  When I didn’t answer fast enough, he continued, “My place is all yours. I have two bedrooms. You are welcome to stay. I told you before you could stay during the book fair, but you are so stubborn.” He laughed. “Any friend of Nicole and Keith is a friend of mine.”

  “I would love to see Paris.” I was pretty sure my eyes sparkled from excitement.

  “Do you have to fly out soon?”

  “Actually, I left the ticket open ended. After all, I was coming to London, and confession time...I thought about visiting you in Paris.” A part of me felt guilty toward Matthew. I didn’t tell him that I might visit a friend. This would keep me from going home for several days, and I knew he was expecting us to talk as soon as we both got back. I also didn’t think he would be keen on my visit, especially since Tanner was a guy he’d never met.

  “That’s great. Let me take you back to your hotel so we can get your luggage.”

  “I can only stay for a few days. I need to go back and settle things with Matthew.” Tanner started texting. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m taking tomorrow off.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “It’s Monday. It’s my busiest day. And yes, I would ditch work to hang out with a friend whom I won’t be able to see for another who knows how long.”

  “You can always fly to Los Angeles.”

  “Keith is a dear friend of mine, but it will be a while before I visit him.”

  “Here you go,” the waitress said, placing our plates in front of us, then left.

  “Well...if you ever do come to Los Angeles, you can stay with me.”

  Tanner’s eyes grew wider. “Really? How about Matthew?”

  “He has his own place.” My tone came out flat and uncaring.

  “You make it sound like you’re already broken up, and you haven’t even spoken to him about whatever situation you’re in. You should just tell me now because my curiosity is killing me.”

  With a deep intake of breath, I told him about my dilemma. Not just that, I told him about Amber and Tessa.

  “Oh, Becky, Becky...you need to tell him, girl. That’s not fair to him.”

  “Don’t make me feel guilty, Tanner. You’re supposed to be on my side.”

  “I think you’re afraid. You’re running away. I could’ve asked you to go to China and you would be willing to come with me. You’re a runner.”

  “A what?” I laughed.

  “When things go wrong, you try to pretend it didn’t happen. You would say or do anything to block out the pain. And the further you go away from the situation, the easier it is for you to deal with.” He rested his hand on mine. “Regardless, it will still be there, waiting for you.”

  Tanner was right, yet I didn’t want to hear it. I pulled my hand away. “I just need a few more days.”

  “To do what? It’s not going to go away.”

  Tears started to form in my eyes. I didn’t want to cry in front of Tanner. I needed my friends. What the hell was I thinking? “I know it won’t go away.” My irritation level was rising. “Do you want me to stick around or what?”

  Tanner gave me a crooked smile and leaned back into his chair. “Sorry. I’m just worried about you.”

  “I’m fine,” I sighed.

  “Eat your pasta before it gets cold.” He pointed to my plate with his fork.

  I took a big gulp of water. “You eat yours,” I sneered playfully.

  Tanner was very sweet and caring in his own way. I loved the way he listened and gave me advice like a good friend would. That only made me miss Jenna, Kate, and Nicole even more. However, sometimes I wished Tanner would keep his mouth closed and his opinions to himself.

  Chapter 22

  Becky

  It took one hour on the train to get to Paris, then we took a cab to his apartment. I felt a rush of excitement flow through me for being at a place I’d always dreamt of being. It was so surreal that it felt like a dream.

  Tanner’s place was cozy and neatly in order. The furniture was elegant and modern with a few paintings on the wall. What I liked most about his place was the nice view of the city. It reminded me of Matthew’s place, so I walked away from the window.

  “This room is all yours, Becky.” Tanner pushed the door wider. “If you’re not sleepy, we can talk more if you like.”

  “I’m really exhausted. I’ll see you in the morning.” I smiled. “Thanks for letting me stay here.”

  “Sleep in as long as you like. I’ll give you a tour of the city when you feel up to it.”

  “Thanks.”

  With that, he closed the door behind him. After I took a shower and got ready for bed, I opened up my laptop and checked my email and texts. Not wanting to be rude, I had turned it off during dinner since it was beeping like crazy. I had forgotten to turn it back on.

  Jenna texted me asking how I was doing and when I was coming home. I hadn’t told her the exact date of my return. Matthew was asking me the same questions.

  Becca, I’m home. I’ll be waiting for your return.

  I’m staying a couple more days with a friend.

  I’m not happy.

  I’ll be home soon. We need to talk.

  Yes, we do. You should be here right now.

  Sorry. Just need to clear my head.

  Okay. I’ll be waiting. I love you.

  I turned off the phone and went to bed.

  Matthew

  Three simple words. Three words she could not text back. I had a very bad feeling she wasn’t coming home, and that thought turned my stomach inside out. There were many scenarios I could have taken. One, beg her to come with me to Australia. Two, surprise her in London by showing up. Neither one of them seemed like it was a good idea at the time. Feeling utterly lost, confused, and not knowing what to do, I decided to head to my best source once again.

  “Hello, Jenna. My beautiful sister-in-law.” I sat on her desk.

  “Matthew.” She looked surprised. Her cheeks flashed some color when she gave me a shy smile. She hadn’t seen me walk into the room. Frankly, I was surprised to see her there at this hour. Everyone had gone home.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Much better. I can eat well now.”

  “Do you know if I’m going to have a nephew or a niece?”

  “We’ll know next appointment.”

  “That’s great.” I paused a bit. “So...what’s going on with Becky? Have you heard from her?”

  Jenna squinted her eyes and bit her bottom lip. This was a sure sign she was hiding something.

  “Haven’t you heard from her?” She looked worried.

  “Yes, but I don’t think she’s planning to come home in couple of days like she said she would. I think there is something else going on that you’re both not telling me.”

  “Matthew, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I wish I knew what was going on with Becky. I’ve been so sick lately that I hardly had time for her. I feel so bad. And now she’s beyond my reach and all I get is ‘I’ll talk to you about it when I get home.’ The time difference doesn’t help either. And I need to pack up. Max is coming to take me out to dinner. I was waiting for him.”

  “Hmm...you, too? She told me the same thing.” I stood up and walked a
cross the room. “Maybe I should go visit her.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Jenna said that way too fast. She grabbed her bag and started to head to the door.

  Jenna wasn’t telling me everything. I had to find out what it was. “Does Becky go by a different name?”

  Jenna stopped moving and turned to me. “What do you mean? Why would you say that?”

  “I called the hotel Becky told me she was staying at.” I took a step toward her. “There is no Becky Miller or Becca Miller or Rebecca Miller. There is no Miller. I thought the receptionist was an idiot, so I called again and spoke to the manager.”

  Jenna’s face turned white and it looked like she’d stopped breathing. “Oh.” That is all she said.

  “Jenna. Where is she?” I stood in front of her, blocking her way. “Please. I’m in love with her and I know she loves me...or at least I thought she did.”

  “She does,” Jenna murmured under her breath. “I think I know where she is, but you’re not going to like it.”

  “Where?” I snapped her out of her daze. Her thoughts were running wild. I could tell from her eyes staring straight ahead.

  “With Tanner.”

  “With whom?” My tone raised a bit and Jenna twitched. I didn’t mean to scare her.

  “Tanner was one of Keith’s groomsmen. He lives in Paris.”

  My eyes grew wide and my jaw muscles became tight. “That’s not too far from London.” I gave Jenna a quick hug and a kiss on her cheek. Then I started heading out the door.

  “Matthew, where are you going?”

  “To get Becca back and to kick someone’s ass.”

  “Matthew!” The tone of Jenna’s voice stopped me in my tracks. Whoa. This was the first time I’d ever heard her pissed off like that.

  I swung back around, and answered her in my sweetest tone to calm her down, “Yes, my sister-in-law?”

  She blushed a little, probably not believing she practically yelled my name in anger. “You don’t know where Tanner lives. And please don’t do anything foolish.”

  “I have Keith’s contact information, and don’t worry, I’m only going to scare the shit out of Banner for stepping in my territory.”

  “I don’t recall saying his name is Banner. It’s Tanner.”

  I curled my lips and twitched my brows to show Jenna that I was being playful. “Banner, Manner, Fanner...whatever. I don’t care what his name is.”

  “Oh my God! You’re just like Max,” she squealed, laughing.

  “Who’s like Max?” Max entered and slapped my back lightly as a show of his affection. “Of course he’s like me. He learned from the best.”

  “Of course,” I said, humoring them both. I walked away when I saw Max hugging Jenna. God, I missed my Becca.

  Jenna

  I debated whether to call Becky and let her know that Matthew might be on his way. Shoot...who was I kidding? Matthew was on his parents’ plane to Paris; there was no doubt about that. All I had to say was...it’s about time.

  Dr. Howard saw patients every other Saturday. Max and I were happy to make an appointment on one of them. It was difficult to arrange an appointment with his tight schedule.

  “The baby’s heart is strong,” Dr. Howard said, smiling. “Everything looks great. Would you like to know the sex of the baby?”

  I turned to Max for an answer. He gave me that sexy smile, but he seemed uncertain. “Why not? This way we can prepare the nursery. We’ll just keep our family in the dark.” He released a short, wicked laugh. That sound was too adorable, too hot, and my mind reeled with naughty thoughts.

  Dr. Howard laughed with us. Pulling out a gadget, he poured some type of gel on it while I glanced at Max and gave him a smile. His hand tightened on mine when Dr. Howard lifted my gown. I thought Max was going to punch him.

  As if Dr. Howard could read his mind, he said with a chuckle, “I always get the same expressions from the husbands.”

  “It’s fine, Dr. Howard. I have no problem with it as long as you keep your mind to yourself. I’m just joking.” Max chuckled, but I knew he wasn’t.

  Dr. Howard laughed, too. “Just keep your eyes on the screen.”

  My heart skipped a beat and my stomach fluttered from the sight of seeing our baby on the screen. Max’s facial expression softened; I thought I heard him release a soft coo. His fingers slipped through to make a fist with mine. I felt his love for the baby and for me.

  “Baby, open up. Your mommy and daddy need to see if you’re a boy or a girl,” Dr. Howard sang. He moved the gadget to the left. “Jenna, move to your right a bit.”

  I did as instructed. Max helped me turn.

  “There...right there,” Dr. Howard muttered. “Can you see?” He pointed to the screen.

  Max and I leaned in. Wow!

  After we said our good-byes to Dr. Howard, I got dressed. We set up the next appointment and left, feeling giddy and fulfilled, for our Lamaze class.

  Chapter 23

  Matthew

  I re-checked the address Keith had texted me and got out of the taxi. I’d anticipated the long speech I would have to give to Keith to get Tanner’s address, but he’d just sent it through text...no questions asked.

  I was tired as hell from the time change, but I didn’t care. It was late into the night in Paris. I hoped they were home. As I frantically looked for the apartment number, a bunch of thoughts ran through my mind. My heart couldn’t keep up with the anxiety attack I was having, and I was sure my blood pressure was over the normal limit.

  Here we go. I took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. It was like déjà vu. This was the second time I had flown somewhere to bring her back home.

  The door swung wide open and I sucked in air. Seeing Becca in front of me did funny things to my emotions. I was all tongue twisted and I was sure my heart was dancing from happiness...until I had a clear vision of him. Banner wore shorts and was shirtless, and Becca was in a white robe.

  “Matthew?” Becca was very surprised. “What are you doing here?” Her eyes shot wide open and her line of vision followed mine, which went straight to the asshole who’d taken my Becca. “I can explain.” Yeah, right. I knew the meaning behind those words.

  Becky

  Holy shit! Matthew was in full rage. He didn’t answer me. In fact, I didn’t think he heard me at all. He stared at Tanner with a look to kill. I knew Tanner was in deep shit when Matthew’s body tightened and he rushed past me.

  “Matthew,” I shouted, but he didn’t stop. He went full force. Oh my God! Matthew was going to kill Tanner.

  “Hey, Matthew. It’s nice to—” Tanner finally caught on that Matthew was about to take a swing at him, but he didn’t move. He just stood there, most likely hoping Matthew would come to his senses, but he didn’t.

  Matthew’s arm swung back with his elbow bent. He was in full motion to give it to him when I yelled from the top of my lungs as fast as I could, “He’s gay! Tanner’s gay!”

  Matthew dropped his arms. He looked at me, and then to Tanner. “Hello, Tanner.” He gave him his hand to shake and Tanner took it. “It’s nice to meet you. Sorry about the late visit.”

  Tanner exhaled a breath while he took a step back. His eyes scanned Matthew from head to toe, examining him. I could tell he really liked what he saw from his grin. “You can come over any time. Becky didn’t tell me you were this deliciously good looking. I’m so jealous.”

  Matthew raked his hair back in discomfort. “Um...thanks.” His tone was uncertain.

  I wondered if he’d ever had a guy talk to him like that before. It was the first time I’d seen him flustered like that, and it made me laugh.

  Tanner placed his hand over his chest where his heart was and released a deep ‘I’m in love’ sigh. “You were going to punch me for her. Oh...my...God! That is so romantic. You’re not only a knight in shining armor, you’re every man’s dream. Plus, you’re so freakin’ hot.”

  Matthew’s eyes grew even wider. He took a side st
ep toward me, as if asking me to save him. I covered my mouth with my hand to keep from bursting out laughing.

  Tanner must have sensed Matthew’s uneasiness. “Well, I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about. But if she decides to dump you, my bed is available.” Tanner winked and left.

  I was dying of laughter inside, but I was also mad as hell with Matthew. He finally turned to me with his head down. “Becca,” he heaved softly, most likely from embarrassment.

  “My room, now,” I commanded.

  Matthew

  “What are you doing here, Matthew?” That was the first thing she said to me. Did she know I’d flown all those miles to be with her, to bring her home because I missed her like crazy? Didn’t that even matter?

  I plopped on the bed and put my face into the palm of hands for a second before I looked back up at her. “This is your fault. You left me hanging. You said we would talk when you came back, but you delayed your trip home. Then I found out that you were with a guy. How do you think I was feeling? What do you expect from me? I would fight for you, don’t you know that?”

  Becca leaned against the dresser and looked down. “You’re right. This is my fault. I haven’t been straight with you and you need answers, just like I needed mine.”

  My head turned sideways and I glanced at her in confusion. “What answers do you need? I think I was very clear when I told you how sorry I was and how much you mean to me. I even told you that I loved you, but you never said those words back to me.”

  The physical and emotional distance I was feeling from her right now was breaking my heart. I’d lost her. Blood rushed down my body and my muscles began to feel weak. The stabbing, painful twist in my heart was making my eyes sting. My breath quickened when the room started to become small. There wasn’t enough air.

  “Becca, if you don’t want to be with me anymore, just say it. I want you to be happy. If I don’t make you happy, I’ll let you go. I’ll walk out that door and never bother you again.”

  Becca looked at me like she couldn’t believe I had just said that and her posture straightened. “Matthew, I don’t want you to leave me, but I’m so afraid you are going to.” Her eyes began to tear.