Hawaii Five Uh-Oh

by Z. A. Maxfield

  As he took off his helmet, he recognized two HPD officers without recalling their names or where he’d met them. Tae kwon do was a great way to blow off steam, and there were fighters from every discipline at Tiger Wu’s. Without making a big deal of it, he’d been taking extra hand-to-hand combat training with some of the better fighters since he got back. You are not nineteen.

  In Honolulu Theo’s ultramodest ability with Mandarin and Cantonese got use. He liked the sun on his skin. Foot patrol was a nice change from making the rounds in a squad car, writing up tickets, and doing residential checks on the elderly whenever it snowed.

  But he ran more, scuffled more. He wouldn’t say the words out loud, but he liked walking a beat. Liked the immediacy of being the first on scene. But he’d been winded on hard sprints that used to come easy when he was younger. If had to catch criminals and mete out justice at his age, it meant training twice as hard.

  He doubted his enjoyment would last, but for now it was exactly what he needed. Hard work for his body and less time to think.

  “Watch yourself.” Someone shouldered him out of the way.

  He yanked his helmet off and spun around. “You watch it, asshole.”

  The guy turned around like he was going to be Theo’s first fight of the night. Theo braced himself but found Kekoa’s dark eyes twinkling at him.

  “Theophilus Hsu,” he singsonged. Not exactly a greeting.

  “Kekoa Palapiti.” Sure. I’ll play. A long silence ensued.

  “You working out here now?” His eyes bored into Theo, and his voice was still that octave and a half deeper. But the expression—curiosity banked with wariness—was all Koa-the-boy’s. He’d always been a watcher. An assessor. He was strong. Hard as cured wood. He was perfect, actually, even if he was staring at Theo like he still wasn’t impressed by what he saw.

  “For a few weeks, yeah. How come I haven’t seen you here?”

  “I’m just here for Ortiz. I go to a different gym.” Koa squinted against the setting sun and something Theo couldn’t read passed over his features. That’s what happened when you didn’t see people for years. You lost shared language. “Are you really back to stay?”

  “Yes. I am.” In that moment, Theo reaffirmed a decision he hadn’t known was so… final. “I see you some nights from the bluff. With the halau.”

  “So?” Eye to eye, Kekoa was intimidating as hell.

  Theo shivered. “So nothing. I sit on the bluffs sometimes and I watch you. You are grace on legs, Woodie.”

  When the fight Koa seemed to be looking for didn’t materialize, he glanced down.

  Briefly, Theo considered asking him if he wanted to spar, but Koa outweighed him. Probably he’d outfight him. Theo liked to see his opponents fight at least once before going toe to toe with them. He didn’t mind losing, but he didn’t like being humiliated.

  Koa gave a nod. “See you around, Te.”

  “A’ight.” So he was Te, still, at least. “Woodie.”

  Koa groaned. “Man, I will beat you if—”

  “I’ll be right here.” Theo opened the door into the gym. It gave with a light jingle on account of a brass bell looped over the knob. He could feel Koa’s eyes on him, but he didn’t turn back. The moment—their moment—might have passed when they were ten, lying on their backs on the beach, listening to the rumble of waves, staring up at the stars.

  “What you wanna be when you grow up?” Theo’d asked. “I’m going to be like Dad.”

  “Me too. Nobody fucks with my dad.” Koa didn’t talk much about his dad, but neither of their dads was around all that often.

  “I’m going to be a big city cop.” Theo wanted to be like TV cops and solve murders and bash bad guys. “When I’m a cop, nobody’s gonna fuck with anybody.”

  Knock it off, Theo told himself firmly. Dwelling in the past will not lead you to the future. He thought he’d made peace with his and left it behind. But the moment he’d seen Detective Koa Palapiti in the flesh, he’d known—he wasn’t ever getting past that.

  Someday he was going to tell Koa everything—Koa Palapiti, you are my One. True. Thing. Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong—I double-dog dare you.

  The gym’s rank humidity slapped him in the face. Too much testosterone. It clung to his nostrils and stuck to his tongue while he put his things up and got in some stretches.

  “Look who’s here on a Friday night.” Paco Belardo, the owner, greeted him. “You don’t got nothing better to do?”

  “Nope.” Theo shrugged. “Anybody here?”

  “Jake and Fred.” Paco grinned like a hyena. “Fred’s been looking to kick your ass since you got lucky last time.”

  Ow, fuck. First time? Freddie sucker-punched his ass. They’d sparred a couple times and drawn even. But last time he’d sparred with Freddie, he’d gotten in a punch that was so solid, Paco shut them down. If Freddie Ortiz wanted payback tonight, Theo would have to ask him not to hit the face. He still wanted to get laid later or—whatever. He could get his dick sucked with an ice pack on his eye.

  “Ortiz?” he shouted, making like he was ready to get on the mat. Like this fight was going to be a piece of cake and he couldn’t wait to get it over with. “Ortiz? You here? I’ll take you on again, if there isn’t anyone better?”

  “Fresh meat! I owe you.” Freddie came around the corner and mimed murder by running a finger across his throat. “You back already?”

  “Original.” They bumped fists awkwardly. While they got ready, Freddie taunted him about how dirty he was going to fight.

  All pretty good-natured, for cops.

  “Stay away from the face, Freddie. I need to look pretty.”

  “Good luck with that. You ain’t look pretty before.” Ortiz smiled like a shark and tried to slap him. Theo ducked out of the way. Paco led them to the center of the ring and told them to play nice. Ortiz was tough, with a pleasant, open face that fooled you into thinking he was gonna take it easy on you. “You hooking up with someone tonight?”

  “Your mom. I got a place of my own now.” Theo settled into his fighting stance and got ready. “Finally, we can if we want.”

  “Too bad.” Gloating, Freddie tried to knock his head off. Theo ducked again. When was the man going to remember he was glacially slow?

  He caught sight of Paco in his office, watching through the window. When Theo’s attention shifted for a microsecond, Freddie aimed a kick at his head. He dodged it easily. Didn’t lose focus. Kick was halfhearted at best—Freddie still feeling him out. They circled each other warily, looking for an opening. He wasn’t giving one. Ortiz didn’t have any.

  He landed a solid right to Freddie’s jaw—not halfhearted at all—but the man shrugged it off. “Who’s the lucky girl?”

  “I’m meeting Calista at Eddie’s to—”

  Pow. He never saw it coming and went down like a meteor, crash. He lay staring stupidly into Ortiz’s angry face. “Fuck you, man.”

  “Okay.” Theo tried to sit up, but Ortiz shoved him down again.

  Face a dull shade of red, Ortiz jabbed an angry finger at Theo’s nose. “Stay away from Calista.”

  “I—”

  “Stay. Away.” Freddie’s bare foot landed on his chest.

  “Freddie, you fuckstick.” A few gray, dizzy seconds passed, and then Freddie was gone, and Koa stood in his place, expression unreadable.

  He helped Theo up. Ortiz said, “Hey, Koa—”

  “Get the car, O.” Koa threw Freddie some keys.

  “But K—”

  “I said go.” Koa waited until Freddie was out of earshot before he spoke again. “C’mon, Te. You okay?”

  “You came back?” Blinking, Theo checked the tender spot on his cheek with his fingers. “Do you have any idea what that was about? Because your partner’s an asshole.”

  “O’s a hothead.” Koa winced when Theo let him check his eye out. “And you provoke everybody. You always have.”

  “Like you even know me anymore.” Theo tested his sens
es.

  “Here.” Paco yanked some paper towels off a roll and wet them in the water fountain before bringing them over. “Take this. You’re bleeding.”

  “Thanks. Look, your partner’s seriously crazy. You know that, right? He’s wound tighter than… super tightly wound-up shit.” Theo wiped his face, and when he blinked up at Koa again, it was as if some furious imposter stared back.

  “Don’t start trouble. You just got here.”

  “Me start trouble?” Theo glanced behind him. “Me?”

  “You’re not from here no more. You’re at the bottom of the bottom, man. Don’t get in over your head.”

  At that, Koa turned and left.

  Dazed, Theo asked Paco, “What the hell was that about?”

  Paco said, “Lotta things changed since you been here. Stay away from those guys.”

  “From Koa?” Theo asked incredulously.

  “Him and Freddie and that crew. The badasses.”

  “How come?”

  “That crew’s always been hinky.” Paco’s lips tightened. “Lately I dunno. Might be more than that. Just keep your eyes open. Not everybody’s what you remember, ’kay?”

  Shocked, Theo hauled himself to his feet. Three quick strides took him to the door, which he tore open, causing a violent clank, clanking of the bell on the knob. He stood in the entrance with the breeze ruffling his sweaty hair.

  It cooled his face but did nothing for his anger.

  Koa got into his preposterous black SUV with its tinted windows, and whoever was driving it, presumably Freddie, sped away. Theo’s breathing returned to normal, and he closed the door quietly.

  Not everybody’s what you remember, ’kay?

  Theo sighed. Nothing is what I remember.

  Chapter Five

  THEO ROLLED into the parking lot at Eddie’s Place at nine. He found parking easily, took off his helmet, and brushed his hands over his short hair. One thing about Eddie’s Place? You hardly knew it was there. Unlike the rest of the bars on the block, there were no signs flashing dramatically, and music didn’t leak out. One dark heavy door opened into an anteroom, and he pushed the second to get into the bar.

  Theo ignored his instinct—to leave before he went all the way inside. Calista must have seen his hesitation, because she grabbed him and dragged him to her table by main force.

  “Whatcha drinking?” She gave the waiter a wave.

  “Dunno yet. You?” Theo sat in the empty chair next to hers. Calista looked good. His eyes were drawn to the belt she wore low, between black skinny jeans and a loose black tank top with some band he’d never heard of on it. She was fit; her face was pretty. Dark eyes. Full red lips.

  “What can I get for you?” Their twentysomething twink waiter was hot too.

  Theo took off his Oakleys to check him out, but his eye was blurry. He guessed Freddie’s work was starting to show, because Calista nearly dropped her beer when she saw his face.

  “Jesus. What happened to you?” she asked.

  “Gym mishap.” He shrugged it off. “S’what the alcohol is for. Double bourbon, Bud back.” The waiter’s perfect lips kept his attention a little too long, but sadly Theo’s interest wasn’t returned.

  “Too bad,” he said to his Eddie’s Place beer mat.

  “What?”

  “Nothing.” That’s how the game worked for him these days. He let his interest show, and it was either on, and he could expect some sort of action, or he was barking up the wrong tree. But it was entirely possible he’d grown so subtle he’d lost the ability to signal his interest.

  A few moments later, when he accepted drinks from the server and handed over a couple twenties, their eyes met, and he let his interest show with no uncertainty. The dude’s smile was pleasant, but again, disinterested.

  Nope. No possibility there. It had been worth a shot, though. The dude had a smile like sunshine and nice blue eyes. “Thanks.”

  Ah, well. Theo preferred brown, almost black eyes anyway.

  “How can you drink well bourbon?” Calista, bless her, missed that exchange too.

  “I hate to break the bank.”

  “I like a man with no preferences.” Calista’s wink seemed flirtatious. He figured if he didn’t tell her the truth, there’d be bad blood.

  “Oh, I have a preference when it comes to bourbon—or rather I do, but I can’t afford it.” He braced himself. “But um. I should probably mention, I don’t… I’m not into—”

  “You’re gay? Like I didn’t know.” Her laugh was a single bark. “Ha. No worries. I’ve got your back.”

  “Wait,” he frowned. “Am I that obvious?”

  “I don’t think anyone else knows shit, but they don’t walk with you all day like I do.”

  “Huh?”

  “Pfft.” She glanced around carefully before lowering her voice. “Everybody’s half-naked, and you only eye the dudes. You’re not my type either. But I needed a date tonight, see? Some people gotta act like no means smooth sailing. You know what I mean?”

  He gave her words some thought. “Not really.”

  She sighed and translated for him. “There’s this detective who likes me and he thinks he’s awesome.”

  “And he’s not?”

  “No. He is.” She sighed. “But I am not interested in dating a guy who also dates other girls and some dudes, and he’s got a thick skull.”

  “I see.” It sounded almost okay when she put it like that. But it wasn’t. “Name wouldn’t by any chance be Freddie Ortiz.”

  “Oh my God. If you tell me that”—she pointed to his eye—“has anything to do with Freddie….”

  “Lucky shot.” Right after I said I was meeting you later. “I mean, he’s a better fighter than me, but he also got lucky. Look, if he’s harassing you—”

  “It’s nothing like that.” She glanced around again. “He’s hot. I dig him. But it’s gotten complicated lately, and I don’t want to talk about it. Tonight I want to dance and forget about him.”

  “Okay, but give me fair warning. Are Ortiz and them gonna be here?”

  “Oh, I’m not telling you, because then you’ll flee. You’ll have to wait and see.” Her eyes lit with humor before a couple of chairs slid back at the end of their long table.

  “Shut it, douchebag, I did not.” Two guys he recognized from work started shoving each other over the news or some shit. Several more chairs flew back. The two men stood. The scuffle didn’t last long, but in the middle of things, Freddie, Koa, and Taryn walked in. Question answered.

  “Birthday girl.” Calista bounced out of her seat and ran to greet her friend. Theo sat back down. The rest of the gang regrouped when they saw the latecomers, and tables got added and people moved around. Theo found Koa’s eyes on him. He wore an expression Theo had seen lots of times. Once, when Theo had broken an expensive lamp, his father had worn that look for a week.

  Theo didn’t know why Koa was directing that particular glare at him, but he was ready to step over and wipe it off his face when Calista danced by, dragging Taryn by the hand. Theo got up and greeted Taryn with a hug and a gift bag.

  “Happy birthday, Taryn.” He felt like a fool. He barely knew her, and he had picked the gift out at the last moment. “Here, I brought you this.”

  “For me? Omygod it’s wrapped.” She was so delighted, the others started making kissing noises. One coughed loudly. “Hack—suck-up—hack.”

  “It’s nothing. Just a book,” he said. “I liked it and—”

  “Oh my God. Plummet to Soar.” She gave the back cover a once-over, but it was impossible to read anything in that light. “I’ve been wanting to read this. Thanks.”

  “He apparently gives those out like business cards.” Koa leaned over and gave her a kiss while pulling one of Auntie Lala’s attractive candy boxes out of his pocket. “Here.”

  “Omygod.” She tore that open and stared, horrified. “Perfume? Are you saying I stink? Where’s my chocolate-covered macadamia nut brittle?”

&n
bsp; “I know that’s your brand of perfume. Don’t fuck with me.” Koa handed over a second box from his other pocket, and she squealed.

  “Come on, Theo. Taryn’s my birthday girl!” Calista looped her arms around both of their necks and then kissed the tops of their heads. He and Taryn were about the same height. Nordic goddess Calista pretty much crushed their faces—one on each side—into her bosom. “Come and dance with Mama and her birthday bestie.”

  “Alcohol-logically speaking, you are way ahead of me.” He pulled away with difficulty. Calista was good and drunk already, and Taryn seemed well on her way. “I’ve gotta catch up before I can dance, yo.”

  Calista rubbed his cheek with hers. “Mm. Okay, baby. Taryn, you’re coming with me.”

  With that, she dragged Taryn away. The exchange gave Koa time to leash his mutt, Freddie. Also to find an even more disapproving expression.

  “Hey.” Theo greeted Koa like he would leap into a live volcano. It was heroic, and over quickly. The rest of the men and women at the table shouted at Koa and Freddie with varying degrees of unnecessary adulation.

  “Hsu.” Ortiz studied Theo’s black eye with apparent satisfaction. He and Koa wore all black—blazers, polo shirts, and jeans. Both wore concealed weapons. They even smelled dangerous. And right on cue came the badge bunnies, including the waiter Theo had hit on earlier. His attention was all for Koa. Bitch, please, that’s mine.

  “Hey.” Ortiz lifted four fingers. Apparently the server knew what it meant, because he nodded and smiled and fluttered away like Tinker Bell to bring it. Ortiz turned to Koa. “You and Hsu here have known each other forever, right?”

  Warily, Koa nodded. “Sure.”

  Freddie asked, “He got a learning disability that you know of?”

  Theo was unable to hide his laughter at the dismayed expression on Koa’s face.

  “What’s funny?” Ortiz’s dark eyes widened. “’Cause you don’t learn. I think that’s sad. Don’t you think it’s sad, Detective Palapiti? What’s mine ain’t yours.”

  “Knock it off, O,” Kekoa warned.