Hawaii Five Uh-Oh

by Z. A. Maxfield

  “Because we’re friends?” Albert spat. “You’re just using me like everyone else.”

  “We are friends. We can hang out sometimes. Go out for drinks in a club—not your mother’s. I’ll be your gay godfather. Your queer eye for the queer guy. I’ll be your wingman. I know you don’t believe this, but you can trust me.”

  “I can’t, Theo. I wish I could.” Albert did seem terribly sorry to have to tell him. Tears made it past his temples and into his hair. “I can’t do anything about anything anymore. It’s going to be all over for me very soon.”

  “Shh. No, no. It’s okay. You’re fine.” The last thing Theo needed was angst and tears. “Wait. You’re not dying or something?”

  “No.” Albert cried like a little kid, with snot and tears and lots of sniffling into his sleeve.

  “Here, give me that, you’ve had enough.” He took away Albert’s beer. That boy. Albert had no hint of beard. Not a single whisker marred his skin. Sweet face. Sad eyes.

  Theo was a sucker for kids. In fact, now that he thought about it, that’s what he wanted to do with his life instead of putting stupid kids in jail. He wanted to start an after-school program where he could channel his energy into keeping stupid kids out of trouble.

  “Albert?”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  “Whatever has happened here, you and I are going to figure it out, tell the truth, and take the consequences. Right? That’s how it’s done. That’s how you fix things.”

  Albert laughed like he was joking. “Sure.”

  Theo sighed.

  I am so going to hell for this.

  “ALBERT?” THEO’D waited until Albert drifted peacefully in and out of a doze. Ben Stein was repeating the name Bueller… Bueller…. “Where’s the passage that leads to the dome suite again?”

  “Nobody ever finds that one.” Albert gave him a private smile before letting his head fall back. “The door from the rotunda is easy, but nobody ever finds the passage off the gallery level.”

  A gentle snore punctuated his words.

  “Albert?” Theo asked quietly.

  Another snore answered.

  Fine. Gallery level it was. Criminal family notwithstanding, Theo really liked the kid. But he ought to get the hell going before Zhang showed up again with requests. Please be here, Ms. Gao. Please.

  Taking care to appear casual, Theo got his beer and nodded at a guard leaving by the front door. He waited at the bottom of the stairs until the man was gone, and then made his way up the stairs. He walked along the gallery like he had every right to be there, eyes searching for anomalies in the paneling or the moldings.

  Historic buildings had secret hallways for servants so they could go about their business unseen and never come in contact with their employers, but in this contemporary monstrosity of a house, the passageways were more likely to be for security or defensive purposes. In the rotunda, the hidden door had opened with a push on a secret latch. Theo assumed the gallery door must work the same way. Perhaps they led to a secret panic room, or a heliport on the roof, or a James Bond–style escape submarine that shot from a basement tube into the sea. Nothing would surprise him about Elaine Gao.

  Deep in the shadows, he slid his hands along each section of wall, fingertips “listening” for any change in the subtle solidity. Nearly all the way down at the end, across from the room with the St. Andrew’s cross, he found it—click.

  The paneling gave the slightest whisper of sound when the wall opened into the kitchen of the suite at the edge of the property. “Eureka!”

  The wall shooshed closed behind him. In ten steps he entered the bedroom where he’d left Koa—he was in. Now, he closed his eyes and knocked his head against the wall behind him. Thud, thud. Think, think…. He was inside. Theo knew the lay of the land, and now he could come and go—

  From there, he walked around like he owned the place. Nobody stopped him. When he thought about it, that meant they thought he was pretty harmless. Which pissed him off. He finally located Elaine seated outside on the pool deck with Zhang, eating what appeared to be a pretty nice lunch.

  “Hsu? My God.” Elaine. “How did you come, by gecko? I expected you hours ago.”

  Sandwiches, salads, and fruit rounded out a silver coffee and tea service that looked like it belonged to a queen. Theo’s stomach growled loudly, and Zhang told one of the staff he needed a plate.

  “I watched a couple movies with Albert first.”

  “That’s nice. He gets very little company.” Gao said, “Sit.”

  “Well. As long as it’s your idea.” Theo sat.

  Gao said, “Such a fierce face. You’ve been the most amusing part of this entire experience, Theo. You have a byzantine mind. Truly.”

  “So glad to be of service.”

  Gao smiled. “Oh, my dear boy. When you service me, you’ll know it.” Then she sighed. “Since you turned down Carlito’s offer to scene, I assume you’re not interested in an offer from me. But should you change your mind—”

  “I won’t.” He eyed her. “I just got your son drunk. Sorry, not sorry.”

  Her eyes widened. “I have no son.”

  “Yeah. About that, he looks just like you. Have you ever noticed he has that incisor thing? Teeth aren’t hereditary or whatever, but ears don’t lie. You know what I think?” Albert wasn’t the only one a little worse for beer—he had to be crazy, walking into the lioness’s den like this. “I think all the time you’ve spent harassing my boyfriend and Freddie, you were only trying to protect your son.”

  She tensed like a viper about to strike. “Albert’s not my son.”

  “Sure he is. He’s an awesome kid, by the way.” He turned to Zhang. “A verifiable genius. My stepfather—you know Gary Ko—” Zhang nodded. “—told me the problem, of course, is Gao Gan had no son to take over the enterprise.”

  Elaine’s face remained impassive. “Gao Gan had a daughter by his first marriage. When she marries—”

  “You want me to believe you’d give up control?” Theo dared her to lie.

  She took a breath through her nose. “Albert was born before my marriage to Gao Gan. Everyone who matters knows this.”

  “That may be true.” Zhang stared at her. Waiting for an order? “But you took the reins, and you have no plans to hand them over to anyone but Albert.”

  Theo waited to see if she’d deny it.

  “As Gao Gan’s widow, I am privileged to protect his life’s work and his first family.”

  Ten years before, Theo would have taken her up on her offer to scene, just to see what would happen. “But he had a daughter, and he did not elevate her on his death. He chose you.”

  “Perhaps he felt she wasn’t ready?” Zhang drew Theo’s attention from Gao, deliberately, Theo thought, to give her time to regroup. “A girl must marry. Her husband has to be chosen carefully.”

  “Or perhaps”—Theo tested his biggest gamble—“he also had a son.”

  Elaine’s face drained of color, but other than that, not a hair, not a muscle moved. You had to love biology. If not for that, he’d have to walk away.

  “Gao Gan’s son,” he continued, “conceived outside of wedlock, during an affair while he was married to the first Mrs. Gao. He and the first Mrs. Gao produced….”

  “Gao Yuen,” Elaine said, closing her eyes.

  “Albert and Gao Yuen are half siblings,” Theo tried while meeting Gao’s gaze one last time. “He’s Gao’s son.”

  “If that were true,” Elaine said, “surely I’d have put him in his father’s shoes by now.”

  “Not if it would put him in danger.” He knew it now. He knew the whole story, whether she would ever admit it or not. “Here’s what I think happened. I think Gao Yuen came here.”

  Zhang threw his napkin down. “That’s a lie—”

  “Did she come here to meet Albert? Is that what happened?”

  “No.” Zhang stood. “You need to leave.”

  “What happened when Gao Yuen got a look
at him? Did she realize he could steal her inheritance?”

  Elaine picked up her knife, and in a flash, she was on Theo, lifting it to his throat. “He would have stolen nothing.”

  Theo caught her hand before she could puncture him, but it was a near thing. His chair went flying over and they crashed to the deck with a painful clatter. Goddamn that scene. He was getting too old for that. Elaine fought tough and dirty. She was all sharp elbows and questing teeth. Theo had to use every ounce of his skill, and still she got the better of him once or twice.

  “Albert is innocent. I’ll kill you.” She did nick his neck then. Warm blood trickled over his skin while they grappled for control of the knife. “You have no idea what I’d do to protect my son.”

  “If the body Koa and Freddie caught is Gao Yuen, the authorities will find out. Her people will find out,” he ground out. “You’re right to be worried. If they put two and two together, your son will be exposed to revenge by those who already want him dead.”

  “I know.” The fight went out of Elaine then, though it took several pairs of hands to pull her off him. “Don’t you think I know?”

  One set of hands belonged to Albert, who pulled his mother up. “Enough, Mother. I told him the truth because it’s enough already.”

  He spoke rapid Mandarin, of which Theo only caught one really good noun: mèi mei.

  “Wait. Gao Yuen was your younger sister?”

  Albert turned away before speaking. “So greedy. I’ve asked for nothing from her family, and I never would have. Everything would have been hers as soon as she married.”

  It seemed like a pretty poor time to point out the obvious: that he lived like a king. Some of that had to come from Gao Enterprises. “You’re willing to go to the authorities?”

  “No.” Elaine’s eyes glittered with unshed tears of rage. “Yuen’s people will kill him.”

  “Seems like that variable remains unchanged. Someone surprised him before, but now—”

  “I just don’t understand why Gao Yuen came herself,” Elaine muttered bitterly. “That was… ego. She must have been insane to try such a thing.”

  “Only Gao Yuen could have gotten through.” Zhang finally spoke. “She just walked right up and asked to be let in.”

  “Come with me, Albert,” Theo offered. “We can meet your mother’s lawyers at the station. If your mother is willing to trade information about her husband’s businesses—”

  “No.” Elaine tensed her jaw. “He must not go.”

  “I can’t live like this either.” Albert’s indecision, his fear, was painful to watch. “Mother?”

  Theo said, “Someone will try again. Or the authorities will finally put all the pieces together. Even you won’t be able to protect him in prison, Elaine. Can you trust Iwalani Hsu’s son?”

  Gao broke because a mother’s love was a terrible thing. A mother’s pain.

  “Gao Yuen was determined to eliminate us after her father’s death.” She sobbed in her son’s arms. “She came here like you. With beer. With pizza. To drown my baby in my pool while he was practically nude and helpless. She didn’t know Albert was also Gao Gan’s son until she saw him.”

  “He saved himself,” Zhang offered. “Yuen’s head hit the steel railing on the ladder steps. He swam to safety and called me.”

  “Surely you have to see this is over,” Theo said softly. “Albert has got to tell someone what happened. A death cannot be covered up like the goings-on in an edgy nightclub.”

  Ms. Gao argued, “I don’t have to—”

  “Ms. Gao.” Theo used the firm but placating voice he often used on the job. “Elaine. You seem like a decent person—”

  “You would be mistaken to assume that.” She turned away while he righted the chairs.

  Zhang cleared the table, placing the plates on a rolling cart. He said, “Come sit and we’ll talk, Elaine.”

  “Everyone already knows everything.” Theo pulled her chair out for her. If this seemed like a weirdly polite thing to do for someone who had tried to aerate his throat, he ignored his unease. “It won’t be just down to Koa and Freddie. This is bigger than HPD. You think you’re protecting him, but for a lot of reasons—”

  “It’s true.” Albert’s confession was agony. “I was swimming, and she came at me and held my head under. I never meant for anything to happen to her, but I kicked out, and she hit her head—”

  “She drowned while I was seeing to Albert.” Zhang said. “And it was far more merciful than what Elaine would have done to her, so I’m not sorry in the least. I hoped the body would never be found.”

  “Oh, Bertie.” Elaine held out her arms and Albert went into them. “I made some things so difficult for you. But I only ever wanted to protect you.”

  “I know, Ma.” He flung himself at her like a child. Theo got a little choked up, watching as she gathered him in her arms. Both cried like children.

  “Hey. Can we start over again? No games. No leverage. Just friends?” He invited Albert to confess, and Gao to explain, and Zhang to stare at him as if he’d lost his fucking mind, and thought—possibly—when Koa found out, he was either gonna get so very killed or laid, this night. “Please….”

  Epilogue

  IT HAD taken an hour to create the exact knots Theo wanted—the ones that made wild patterns over his lover’s gorgeous brown skin and immobilized him in all the right places. Koa tasted of salt and sweat and the kind of happiness that stings your eyes a little.

  Theo had Koa good and worked up, so he took his time sucking him off, then released the tension on Koa’s bindings to let his bloodless flesh return to life at the same time he came.

  Koa let out a grunt of pain and pleasure and hit the pillow, whump. “Jesus.”

  Theo mocked his earlier words. “I get that all the time, but I tell people—”

  “Hush.” Koa’s fingers shut his mouth. Theo rolled onto his back to let his lover process. After a while, he cracked open a bottle of water and offered it. “Okay?”

  Koa took the bottle with a sigh. “I found another dildo under the wiper of my SUV at work.” Koa slid his fingers through Theo’s new, longer hairstyle.

  Theo tensed. “Do you feel harassed?”

  “Nah, it’s about the case, not me.” He sipped more water, capped the bottle, and put it on the floor on his side of the mat they slept on. “How me and Freddie had to pretend to be a couple. I just wonder when they’re gonna get tired of that shit.”

  “I hope they don’t.” Theo laid his cheek on Koa’s shoulder. “As long as they’re messing with you, I know they’re messing with Freddie too. And Calista says he totally deserves it.”

  Koa laced their fingers together. “I’m still pissed you got into my business.”

  “Because you wanted to be under Elaine Gao’s thumb for the rest of your life?”

  “A young woman died, Theo,” Koa reminded him. “We know she died in a swimming pool, but we only have Albert’s and Zhang’s word how it happened. Elaine Gao is still the head of Gao Enterprises, and we only have her assurance that she wants to undo some of the damage Gao Gan left behind. We’re just starting to work her, so we don’t know what kind of bargain we’ve made.”

  “It has to be better than the one you were about to make.” Theo put his fingers over Koa’s lips. “I know what she holds dear. My gut says trust her—and Albert. No one’s ever been that naive.”

  “Your gut? Or your phantom ovaries, because I know you want to adopt Albert. If I have to take him fishing one more time—”

  “He’s a dumb kid, but he needs us.” Once the news broke about Gao Enterprises, it blasted a certain orange individual right off the five-o’clock news, which Theo took as a sign he’d done the right thing. “You should bring him to the halau. Make him a warrior so his mother doesn’t have to do all the heavy lifting by herself.”

  “Speaking of heavy lifting….” Koa’s expression promised reciprocation. “C’mere, baby. There’s still time to get you off.”
>
  “Can’t. I’ve got a meeting with my guidance counselor.” It was the absolute positive right thing, quitting his job as a police officer to go back to school. He wanted to be a guidance counselor too. Work with at-risk kids.

  “You know, you coulda stuck around the HPD. You won’t be on foot patrol forever. We rotate, but that just means everyone knows every job. I thought you wanted to be—”

  “A big-dick-swinging detective?” Theo teased. “I swear to God, if I hear that one more time….”

  “You won’t hear it from me.” Koa gave the back of his neck a scratch.

  “I went into law enforcement because of my dad,” Theo said. “It wasn’t ever my choice, but this is. Can you understand that?”

  “Yeah, except, isn’t going back to school for your mom?” Koa asked. “And dancing, learning the language and handcrafts, getting on the historical committees. Aren’t you just doing all that because you know what your mom would want?”

  “It’s not like that.” Theo shook his head. “I can pick and choose what I want now. I can be as tough as I want, or as pliant. I can top or bottom. Be a Dom or a sub. I can do what I need, for me, and I don’t have to explain it or prove anything to anyone anymore. Not even you, bro.”

  “What about needing someone?” Koa’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “A person.”

  “I’ll always need you.” Theo lifted himself onto one arm and looked down at Koa. They kissed, and it was tender. Loving and sweet. Theo could get lost in the softness Koa only displayed with him these days…. If those hot videos of him and Spider were anything to go by, things were gonna get really good. “But… if Spider ever comes back around, we could always let him—”

  “Nuh-uh.” Koa pinched his nipple, hard. “You’re a one-man outfit now.”

  As if it was laughing at them, the breeze lifted the sheer curtains. Wind turned Koa’s collection of tiny kinetic sculptures and guttered the candles, which filled the room with florals and fruits—all sweet scents.