Can't Find My Way Home

by Carlene Thompson

  ‘Certainly.’ Brynn motioned to the chair across from her.

  ‘Thanks. And even when you were a child, you called me Edmund, not Doctor Ellis. When you were a toddler, it was Ed-mud. Remember?’ He sat down, folded his hands on the table and looked at her with a benign expression.

  ‘No, I don’t remember calling you Ed-mud.’

  ‘Well, you were only two or three.’

  Brynn recalled Dr Ellis as tall, muscular and energetic. Even when he wasn’t flashing his winning smile, his dark gray, gold-flecked eyes had always held a glint of laughter, and his face was tanned and cheerful. Now he looked slightly soft, as if he didn’t get much exercise. Furrows dug into his high, pale forehead, and his eyes were shadowed and somber even though he smiled at her. Silver laced his dark brown hair, which was completely white at the temples.

  ‘I heard you were in town,’ he said finally.

  ‘Yes. I got here on Tuesday.’ Brynn searched for something else to say, struck with a sudden reluctance to talk to her father’s friend who she used to see at least every two or three weeks. Then she remembered his recent tragedy. ‘I’m so sorry about Joy,’ she said sincerely. ‘You know how silly kids are about their cliques – she was five years younger than me so I thought I couldn’t let her be in my circle of close friends, but I liked her. She took piano lessons from my mother and Mom said she was very talented, even more in art than in music. When she was seven she started bringing her sketchbook to show Mom.’

  A shadow seemed to pass over Edmund’s face. ‘I didn’t know she’d been drawing since she was six. I should have. It must have been about the time my wife had the stillbirth. I started paying more attention to her than to Joy.’ He looked away. ‘Poor little girl. She deserved so much more than she got from her parents.’

  Brynn softened toward him. ‘I’m sure you and your wife gave her the best of care. She was a charming, well-mannered child. A good child.’

  Edmund smiled tremulously.

  ‘I would have sent flowers, but I didn’t know about her death until I came here. Cassie told me.’

  ‘You and Cassie stayed close?’

  ‘Yes. I’m staying with her while I’m in town.’

  Mindy appeared at the table, looking tragic. ‘Oh, Doctor Ellis—’

  ‘I know you’re sorry about Joy. She enjoyed coming here and liked you very much.’

  ‘Oh, dear.’ Mindy’s glittery green-shadowed eyelids batted away tears. ‘She always brought her drawing book. She did my picture. Made me look lots prettier than I am. I put it in a frame beside my bed.’ She sniffed mightily. ‘Oh, gosh.’

  ‘You sent a note telling her how much you liked the sketch. She was very pleased.’

  Mindy sniffed mightily. ‘Oh, my. I just feel so bad!’

  ‘You mustn’t be sad, Mindy,’ Edmund said quickly, cutting off what Brynn knew would be a sob. ‘Joy was resigned and I think she was relieved – breathing had become difficult. She went peacefully in her sleep. The flowers you sent to the funeral were beautiful. I saw you there. Thank you for coming.’ Brynn saw Edmund’s eyes focus on a tear running down Mindy’s face. ‘I’ll just have a black coffee this morning.’

  ‘How about a croissant? A muffin? Anything?’ Mindy almost begged.

  ‘OK, a walnut croissant.’

  Mindy smiled shakily, as if he’d done her a favor by ordering food. ‘The biggest, freshest one I can find coming right up!’

  Brynn could tell Edmund couldn’t bear talking about Joy any longer. He looked at her with false brightness. ‘What do you think of Genessa Point after all these years?’

  ‘It’s bigger. So much of the business district has improved – new upscale stores, older ones looking better after face-lifts.’ She paused. ‘But it’s still Genessa Point.’

  ‘And you hate it.’

  ‘Yes,’ Brynn said firmly. ‘I’ve spent eighteen years hating it. You can’t expect me to roll into town and suddenly say, “Wow, this place is great!”’

  ‘You came because of Mark.’ Brynn looked at him steadily. ‘I couldn’t believe it when I saw him last week, yet I knew he’d come back eventually.’

  Mindy arrived with Edmund’s coffee and croissant. ‘Your Chocolate Dream OK?’ she asked Brynn.

  ‘Great. I’m just taking it slow.’

  As soon as Mindy left, Edmund said softly, ‘I was sorry to hear about your mother’s death last year.’

  Brynn felt sympathy toward Edmund for the loss of his daughter, but she couldn’t forget how quickly he’d distanced himself from her family after disaster and disgrace had struck. Remembering, she felt a cold lump form in her stomach as she looked at him squarely. ‘In all the years after we left town, you never came to see her. Not once.’

  ‘She didn’t want to see me.’

  ‘Do you blame her? You lied about Dad losing that knife.’

  Edmund’s gaze shifted. ‘I don’t remember Jonah losing the knife Mark gave him for his birthday.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  Edmund’s gaze sharpened and his eyebrows pulled together. ‘I was sure your father used that knife when we went fishing just two weeks before his death.’

  ‘Oh, you’re absolutely certain it was the same knife.’

  Edmund stared at her.

  ‘You’re absolutely certain Dad killed eight people with that particular knife.’

  Anger flashed in Edmund’s eyes. ‘I did not tell the police your father killed anyone.’

  ‘You might as well have.’

  Edmund sighed. ‘Brynn,’ he said softly. ‘Brynn.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Do I have to go over this again? Your father’s knife blade had a nick in the exact place as the knife used to stab Tessa Cavanaugh. The handle had the letters J.W. The DNA on the knife—’

  ‘I don’t care about DNA!’

  People at other tables turned and looked at Brynn, who’d nearly shouted. She lowered her voice. ‘Dad said he hadn’t seen that knife for years. He’d bought a new one just like it. If you’re not lying, then you made a mistake. You saw the new knife, not the old one!’

  ‘I know Jonah said he bought a knife exactly like the one he lost, but there was no knife in his tackle box or in the woods where Tessa was stabbed. That’s what the police kept stating. They only found one knife – the one that stabbed Tessa and killed your father had the initials J.W. on it and the DNA of some of the other murder victims.’ Edmund’s eyes closed tiredly. ‘I’m not going to argue about this with you. I’ve been over it a hundred times with the police, with myself, with other people.’

  ‘But the knife used to kill him disappeared nearly two years—’

  ‘I told you I’m not going to argue with you anymore, Brynn,’ Edmund said quietly but with a whiplash finality.

  Brynn turned her attention back to her food, shocked by his stunning change of tone. She tried to compose herself as she sipped hot chocolate and took a bite of her Napoleon. ‘You said you saw Mark last week,’ she said finally.

  ‘Yes. He came to visit me.’ His voice had calmed. ‘He talked mostly about Joy. He was very kind – not lingering on the subject too long or asking too many details. He talked about how proud he was of you. He mentioned his divorce but didn’t act broken up about it. And we talked about his mother and my wife.’

  Cassie had told Brynn about his wife’s death two years earlier from cirrhosis. The woman who’d once been Marguerite’s friend had started drinking heavily before the Wilders moved away. Edmund had sent seven-year-old Joy away to boarding school as her mother spent two stints in rehab and endured a failed liver transplant. After graduating from college, Joy had moved to another state. Then, a year after her mother’s death and as her own health took a steep decline, Joy had come home for good.

  Brynn chewed thoughtfully on her pastry before asking, ‘Did Mark talk about Dad?’

  Edmund flinched. ‘No.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘I think I’d remember.’

>   ‘He didn’t say he’d found out something about my dad’s murder?’

  Edmund shook his head.

  ‘But he told Cassie he had. Now he’s gone and no one has heard from him for days. Don’t tell me you didn’t know he’s missing.’

  ‘I knew.’

  ‘Don’t you find that coincidental?’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘Maybe? Do you also know that the police found his car with blood on the seats and the floor?’ Edmund’s face blanched. Obviously he hadn’t heard about the car. ‘I’m so frightened for him,’ Brynn said flatly. ‘Why can’t you be honest with me about Mark?’

  Edmund suddenly leaned forward, his voice deep and fierce. ‘You want honesty? Well, here it is. I’m frightened, too, both for Mark and you. You shouldn’t be here, Brynn. Please, for the love of God, leave Genessa Point before you go missing, too.’

  After Edmund left, his coffee and croissant barely touched, Brynn lingered, feeling desolate. She used to love Edmund Ellis and think of him almost as a second father. How could she have been so cold, so unrelenting, so severe? She hadn’t been able to stop herself. For the last eighteen years he’d been an enemy, the person who’d damned her father by not affirming he’d lost the knife that someone twisted beyond humanity had used to murder children as well as Jonah Wilder.

  Maybe what’s devouring you, Brynn, is that you are afraid Dad didn’t lose the knife, she thought guiltily. She remembered one night in the basement of their house watching Mark frowning ferociously as he worked. ‘Are you sure you should be carving J.W. into that pretty wood handle?’ she’d asked.

  ‘They’re Dad’s initials. He’ll really like what I’m doing,’ Mark had answered confidently. ‘Nobody’ll ever get his knife mixed up with theirs. They’ll know it’s his.’

  Mark had been pleased with himself, never guessing what a curse those initials would be one day for his father.

  ‘Doctor Ellis didn’t eat much.’

  Mindy had reappeared and stared at Edmund’s croissant and half cup of coffee.

  ‘He was in a hurry.’

  ‘Oh. I was afraid he didn’t like the food, although he stops by here every couple of weeks. In the spring, he and his daughter ate here on the patio at least twice a week. She was so pretty and sweet, even when she was getting sicker. I could tell. She was so thin and pale it just broke my heart.’ Mindy looked like she was going to cry again.

  ‘I’m sure seeing you every few days cheered her up. Joy must have really liked you or she wouldn’t have done a sketch of you. But I’m sure everyone likes you. You’re so good with your customers and act like you love what you’re doing,’ Brynn said, smiling.

  ‘Well, I like people. Most people, that is. The manager says I get too familiar, but I never ask personal questions. I just try to let them know that I remember them.’

  ‘That’s an excellent trait in a waitress and I’ll tell your manager so if he ever gives you trouble.’ Mindy looked pleased and Brynn suddenly had an idea. She reached in her bag and pulled out her wallet. She flipped to a snapshot of Mark taken just a year ago and held it out to Mindy. ‘Did you see this guy last week?’

  Mindy leaned close and scrutinized the picture. ‘Yeah, I did. He’s handsome – he looks a little bit like you. Not that you’re handsome. You’re really pretty.’

  ‘Thanks. Anyway, did you talk to him?’

  ‘Ummm …’ Mindy stared into the distance. ‘Just to say hi and take his order. She scrunched up her round face in ferocious thought. ‘Darn! It was near lunchtime and we were getting busy so I don’t remember what he ordered. I’m sorry.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter. Did he look calm and happy, or maybe worried?’

  Mindy’s bright orange lips tightened as she thought. ‘It seems to me he was OK.’ Then she snapped her fingers. ‘Now I remember! Oh, how could I forget?’

  ‘What was it, Mindy?’ Brynn asked urgently.

  ‘A woman came by and sat down with him. He looked kind of surprised. They were arguing. She got, well … loud is the polite word. She said something about making him pay. I thought, pay for what? You didn’t order anything. Then she jumped up and took off in a hurry. Everyone was staring at them! The manager had started to come out just as the handsome guy left, too. He went in the opposite direction of the woman. He left money on the table for his meal and a big tip for me.’

  ‘That must have been bad,’ Brynn said quietly, shocked. ‘Do you know who the woman was?’

  ‘I don’t know her name, but she’s tall and slender and has long auburn hair.’ Mindy got that strained, thoughtful look again. ‘She works at Love’s Dress Shoppe and she’s been here before with that nice Cassie Hutton.’

  EIGHT

  ‘Is something wrong, Miss Wilder?’ Mindy asked.

  ‘Yes.’ Brynn looked at Mindy’s anxious face. ‘I mean no – I was just surprised. I think I know who the woman is, but I didn’t know my brother did.’

  ‘He’s your brother? Oh. Well, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything …’

  Brynn was already standing up, laying down money on the table just as Mark had done last week. ‘I’m glad you told me.’

  ‘My boss won’t like it – he says I talk too much.’

  ‘Your boss won’t know you told me anything.’ She smiled at Mindy, who gave her a worried smile in return. She began edging away from the table. ‘See you in a day or two.’

  Brynn barely remembered driving to Love’s Dress Shoppe. At eleven o’clock, the parking lot was already half full but she didn’t care about interrupting a busy work day. She needed to find out about Rhonda’s public argument with Mark.

  Two years ago, over the course of several phone calls, Cassie had told Brynn about her store renovations. Still, her description hadn’t prepared Brynn for the shock of seeing neat but uninspired Love’s Dress Shoppe turned into a beautiful upscale boutique.

  Inside, James Blunt’s ‘You’re Beautiful’ played softly. Maple veneer floors gleamed, accented with three large oriental rugs in muted colors, pale lavender walls, ivory damask upholstered chairs and couches, glass-topped tables, and track lighting shining down on artfully displayed merchandise.

  Cassie was walking toward the door with a casually elegant middle-aged woman as Brynn hurried inside. ‘Brynn!’ she said in surprise. ‘How nice to see you! I didn’t know you were stopping by this morning. Mrs Levitt, this is my friend, Brynn Wilder.’

  The name clearly meant nothing to Mrs Levitt, who murmured a polite greeting, then left holding two familiar ivory and gold shopping bags. As she closed one of the double doors behind her, Cassie beamed at Brynn. ‘Come back to my office and let’s have a cup of coffee. The girls can take care of things without me for a while.’

  Brynn cast her gaze over ‘the girls,’ who consisted of a tall blonde, a short brunette and a woman with salt-and-pepper hair and thin-rimmed glasses.

  Cassie shut the door to her sizeable office and motioned Brynn onto a comfortable chair beside her white L-shaped desk littered with stacks of papers, fashion magazines, African violets in a lavender bowl near a window and two framed pictures – one of her parents and one of her and Brynn, arm-in-arm, grinning, at age ten. A laptop computer was pushed aside.

  ‘I hear you eat at Cloud Nine sometimes with an auburn-haired employee.’

  ‘Oh?’ Cassie looked at her curiously. ‘Hmmm. Well, I suppose that would be Rhonda Sanford. I told you about her. Who said I’ve been there with her? No, let me guess. Mindy.’

  ‘Yes, Mindy of the shocking pink hair. She’s a nice girl.’

  Cassie sat down. ‘I agree. So, what’s the big deal about me being there with Rhonda?’

  ‘I thought she wasn’t your friend.’

  ‘She’s not. I mean, we’re cordial, but that’s all.’ Cassie paused. ‘I try to keep a good relationship with all of my employees, Brynn. I take each one to lunch about three times a year. Always something casual.’ She frowned. ‘Why are you so interested in Rhonda? Because she us
ed to date Garrett?’

  ‘Garrett! What does he have to do with this? I couldn’t care less who Garrett Dane dated.’

  ‘OK, ok, I’m sorry I even hinted at such a thing. Geez, Brynn.’

  Brynn realized her voice had risen. Embarrassed, she overcompensated by speaking in an almost hushed tone. ‘I’m interested in Rhonda because Mindy said one day Mark was having lunch at Cloud Nine and a woman with auburn hair who works for you stopped by his table, sat down and started an argument. It must have been Rhonda, and I’d like to know how she knew Mark and why the hell she attacked him.’

  ‘Attacked?’ Cassie asked cautiously.

  ‘Oh, not physically.’ Brynn paused. ‘She started a quarrel.’

  ‘Yeah, but was Mindy sure Rhonda started it?’

  ‘Yes.’ Brynn waited a beat. ‘I think. She was busy.’

  Cassie sighed. ‘We got in a new shipment today and Rhonda’s in the storeroom, organizing things. She’s much better at organizing than I am. Do you want me to call her in?’

  ‘I’d appreciate it, Cassie. I promise not to be antagonistic. I’ll just act … curious.’

  ‘You might get Mindy in trouble with her boss for gossiping about customers.’

  ‘No, I won’t. Cass, please.’

  Without a word, Cassie left the office. In five minutes, she returned with the tall, slender woman whose features and slightly tilted cool gray eyes could have gotten her a photo in Vogue. Brynn guessed her to be in her early thirties.

  ‘Rhonda Sanford, this is Brynn Wilder,’ Cassie said, smiling.

  ‘We’ve met,’ Rhonda said tonelessly. ‘Briefly.’

  ‘Oh, yes, she did mention that.’ Cassie’s voice sounded high and unnatural. She’s afraid one of us is going to cause a scene, Brynn thought.