Can't Find My Way Home

by Carlene Thompson

  Now the light fell almost ethereally over the body of Sam Fenney. He rested peacefully on his back, his arms and legs splayed. Large lit candles surrounded him and a Bible was by his side. The neck and chest of his light blue shirt were covered with crimson and a knife was buried to the handle in the area of his heart.

  TEN

  Brynn wondered why in books funerals usually took place on dreary days. Was it to create a somber atmosphere? Or to cause foreboding? Of course, she didn’t need to be told fiction didn’t always reflect reality. Right now, for instance, she stood by a graveside on one of the most beautiful afternoons she could remember. A sun the color of a buttercup petal glowed against a cornflower-blue sky and only occasional clouds like huge dollops of fluffy marshmallow floated above the mourners.

  The mourners. Brynn glanced around while the son of the new director of the family-owned funeral home conducted the service. He was very young, nervous, obviously did not know Sam and hadn’t done any research on the man. Still, he haltingly plowed on with his uninspired speech, throwing in a grand gesture or a tragic facial expression for effect. Across from Brynn stood Sam’s young secretary, Lexa, who dabbed at what looked like genuine tears.

  Tessa, looking frail, swollen-eyed and even more washed-out than usual, clutched Nathan’s arm. Brynn hadn’t seen him since he’d come home. He was tanned and the ends of his dark blond hair had been bleached golden by the sun. He wore a charcoal-colored suit that looked as if it had been tailored especially for him, and once, when he glanced at her, she was startled by the brightness of his green eyes. How different would Tessa’s life have been if she’d looked like her beautiful brother? Brynn thought, remembering the quirky, unkempt, friendless girl who’d taken a few disastrous piano lessons from Marguerite. Tessa’s peculiar behavior, even her tacky appearance as an adult, couldn’t all be attributed to the stress she’d suffered after the violent attack when she was fifteen. She’d been eccentric since she was a child.

  Edmund Ellis stood alone. His tie looked as if he’d made his first attempt at a Windsor knot. His suit was too big and even his shirt collar was too loose around his corded neck. The Edmund she recalled would never have worn clothes that no longer fit. He’d never been vain, only scrupulous about his appearance. Even his thinning hair had gone too long without a cut. He kept brushing the top hair to the side to keep it out of his eyes – his eyes, which stared straight ahead and looked blank, as if no thoughts floated behind their once-warm dark gray that now looked the color of ashes.

  ‘Samuel was a fine man, a regular churchgoer, a devoted father and the faithful husband of a loving wife who always stood by his side through this mysterious experience we call life,’ the assistant funeral director droned mawkishly. Some of the mourners who were actually listening looked startled. A few exchanged meaningful glances with other attendees. Some blatantly cringed. Sam attended church twice a year – Christmas and Easter. He did not have any children. Most shockingly, his ‘loving’ wife had not even appeared at his funeral.

  As far as Brynn knew, the only person Mrs Fenney had seen was the sheriff, who’d notified her of Sam’s death. Garrett had told Brynn the woman who’d been Sam’s wife for over thirty years simply asked how he’d died and then said, ‘He was stabbed? On purpose? Murdered?’ Garrett said that before he’d had a chance to say anything else, she’d commented tonelessly, ‘How sordid.’

  ‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ Garrett told Brynn he’d said stiffly, appalled by her reaction to Sam’s murder, even if she was odd.

  ‘He did get a call last evening around seven … no, nearer to eight. He said he had to go out.’ Garrett said she’d sounded completely casual. ‘I don’t know who called or where he went. He just wasn’t here this morning. I slept late. I assumed he was at the office.’ She’d looked at Garrett, showing mild agitation for the first time. ‘Oh, dear, there will be so much legal mumbo-jumbo I’ll have to deal with for his real estate business. There’s also the motel and that little café.’

  ‘Little café?’ Garrett had asked.

  ‘Why, yes. What’s that silly name? Oh, Cloud Nine.’

  ‘Sam owned Cloud Nine?’

  ‘Yes. He also owned the Bay Motel.’

  ‘He owned it? The whole motel, not just half?’

  ‘Yes. It came as a surprise to me, too. You see, he’d told me he invested a small amount of money in the motel and the café. I suppose if I got out more, I would have learned the truth sooner, but as I’m sure you know, I’m agoraphobic.’

  ‘I know you don’t go out much,’ Garrett told Brynn he’d said, trying to be tactful.

  ‘I never go out. I … can’t. But then, you aren’t interested in my problems, only Sam’s death. The last two weeks he was nervous, sleepless and absent-minded. For instance, he was usually so controlled, he always locked his desk and file cabinet in his study. One day he didn’t lock either and …’ Garrett said she’d given him a tight, forced smile, ‘… I snooped. I found the deeds to both the motel and the café. They were owned by a realty company called Farrah-Stef, which was owned by Kalidone Corporation. The knowledge that Sam owned the hotel and that café came as a tremendous shock.’

  Garrett had told Brynn he must have a talent for acting, because he’d managed to keep his voice calm even though Brynn had already told him about Sam saying the real estate company Farrah-Stef, owned by the Kalidone Corporation, had bought the Wilder house on Oriole Lane only three months after Jonah’s death. Brynn hadn’t pretended her astonishment that Sam had a connection to Farrah-Stef and Kalidone, even though she’d known since that day in his office he wasn’t telling her the truth. But she was also aware of Garrett scrutinizing her closely. She knew he could be giving her information police might usually keep confidential to get her reaction. She didn’t have to feign shock with Garrett, though. She was genuinely stunned by Sam’s tangle of business that had involved far more than the purchase of her old home.

  Garrett continued to watch her closely as he proceeded with the details of his meeting with Mrs Fenney. ‘Farrah-Stef? Kalidone?’ he said he’d repeated to Mrs Fenney, trying to keep his expression blank as he wrote the names in his notebook. ‘What makes you think they had anything to do with your husband?’

  Garrett said her smile had grown more strained. ‘Sam used to watch reruns of that ridiculous show, Charlie’s Angels, and Farrah Fawcett was his favorite actress. When he was young, he loved a book with a magical hero named Kalidone. He got a hamster and called it that. He said he loved that hamster.’ She’d paused. ‘One day when he was at school, his mother beat it to death with a hammer and left it on his bed.’

  ‘How … cruel,’ Garrett said he’d stammered.

  ‘Yes. Apparently she was a terrible woman. A psychiatrist would probably say her treatment of him might have accounted for some of the strange things he did later in life.’

  ‘Such as?’

  Garrett said her pale gaze had hardened. ‘I knew a few things from Sam’s past, but not much from the present. For instance, all of these assets of his that I had no knowledge of just show you how little I knew about my husband’s life outside this house. I didn’t really know him at all. Therefore, I can’t even speculate about who would have killed him.’

  Garrett told Brynn that while he’d sat stiffly on her couch, Mrs Fenney had looked vacantly around the room for a minute, then ended their meeting with, ‘Is there anything else I can do for you, Sheriff Dane? Because I must take a sleeping pill and try to shut out this ghastly business until morning. I’m shaken to the core, and people will be expecting so much of me – a wake, and a reception after the funeral, all those arrangements, all that ceremony.’ She’d sighed. ‘I’m simply not up to it. Just thinking of it frightens me. But Sam was popular – I’m sure someone else will take over for me. Let’s see … I can’t ask Edmund. He just buried his daughter. I know! That girl who works for Sam – Elizabeth or something – will consider arranging the funeral as part of her job.’

&
nbsp; ‘Lexa.’

  ‘Pardon? Oh, the secretary. Lexa, you say? Well, I’ve never met her, but I’ve talked to her on the phone and I think she’s fond of Sam. People always seem to like Sam.’ Again a twitch of the face. ‘Yes, she’ll jump at the chance to take care of Sam all the way to the grave.’

  Garrett said she’d fallen into a nearly ten-second silence. Finally, she’d said in a normal voice, ‘Well, thank you for telling me, Sheriff. I’m sorry Sam has put you to all of this trouble.’

  Two hours later he’d driven past Sam’s house and spotted the gaunt Mrs Fenney walking past a lighted window, holding a phone receiver and smoking a cigarette. He’d said, ‘Either I’m lousy at body language, or she wasn’t a woman devastated by hearing her husband had just been murdered and who had to run for a sleeping pill and her bed.’

  Brynn had known that even if Garrett had let the matter drop for now, he wouldn’t let Mrs Fenney off the hook so easily. He’d have questions for her – many more questions – especially because she’d so recently found out about her husband’s secret business dealings and because of her reaction – or lack of it – to his murder.

  Now, after the speaker’s last atrocious blunders about Sam, Brynn finally looked at Garrett. He was staring at her. He shut his eyes and subtly, despairingly shook his head. She felt as if she could read his thoughts: My God, poor old Sam. What a circus. It was a circus, Brynn thought and felt the dreaded, nervous giggle rising in her as it always did when she saw something meant to be dignified turned into the ridiculous. Cassie, knowing her so well and standing so close their bodies touched, must have felt Brynn’s body beginning to vibrate. She jabbed Brynn in the ribs and frowned, helping her to swallow what could have been an appalling peal of laughter. Brynn sent Cassie a tiny, reassuring smile.

  Garrett hadn’t brought Savannah with him, Brynn noted while trying to ignore the pain in her side where Cassie had hit too hard. Brynn was glad the girl wasn’t here. She couldn’t know whether or not Savannah had wanted to attend the funeral, but even if she had, Garrett would have been right to refuse. Savannah’s reaction to finding the murdered body of Sam Fenney had frightened Brynn. She knew the image of Sam surrounded by candles with a knife in his chest would be scorched into her brain for life.

  After they’d found Sam in Brynn’s old room, Henry’s whine had turned into ferocious barking and he’d rushed past Savannah into the upper hall. His nails had scrabbled on the hardwood floor as he started down the hall, growling, lips drawn back to show his teeth. He’d passed four other open doors, reached the end of the hall and stopped, peering down the narrow back staircase leading to the kitchen. He whined. He turned in circles. He sent another growl down the stairway and then started moving backward.

  ‘What’s wrong with him?’ Brynn had asked before suddenly her nose and eyes began to burn. ‘What’s that?’

  ‘Pepper spray,’ Garrett had managed, coughing, as she, Garrett and Henry had halted, driven back by a potent chemical cloud. Henry had followed the killer’s scent down the hall to the narrow back stairs. The killer must have run down the stairs and then opened a complete canister of pepper spray, sending an acrid fog up the enclosed staircase. Garrett had squinted past Brynn, but he could barely keep his eyes open. Henry had whirled and run back down the hallway.

  Suddenly, the color had drained from Garrett’s face. ‘He might still be in the house,’ he’d ground out. ‘Where’s Savannah?’ He’d pushed past Brynn and run back down the hall, bellowing, ‘Savannah! Savannah!’

  They’d found her in Brynn’s room, standing stiffly over Sam’s body. Garrett had rushed to her, wrapping his arms around her rigid body. She hadn’t hugged him back. She hadn’t spoken. She’d just stared at Sam.

  ‘Honey, are you all right?’ Garrett had asked, and Brynn heard the fear in his gritty voice.

  Nothing.

  ‘Savannah?’ Garrett had pulled her against himself, squeezing her hard. ‘Sweetheart, please say something. Please …’

  ‘He’s dead, Daddy,’ she’d finally said in a dreamy, faraway voice. ‘He got stabbed, just like Brynn’s daddy.’

  ‘Oh, Savannah,’ Garrett had crooned, but she hadn’t seemed to hear him.

  ‘And that music playing is about somebody who’s lost like Brynn’s brother and you were playing that song over and over the other night and Mr Fenney was nice, I think, but look what’s happened to him. Look! You’re the sheriff and people say that’s a dangerous job even in Genessa Point and that terrible Rhonda who hates me keeps calling …’ The girl began to wail, tearlessly, sharply and shrilly. Savannah didn’t sound completely human and chills had raised on Brynn’s arms at the frightening sound.

  Garrett had clutched her even tighter if that was possible, and she’d let out another almost animal sound of pain. Henry walked aggressively toward them, looked at Garrett and growled, low and warning. The dog thinks he’s hurting her, Brynn thought. Henry would protect Savannah even from Garrett.

  ‘It’s all right, Henry,’ Brynn had murmured, not approaching him, not touching him. After all, the protective, provoked dog didn’t really know her. ‘Henry, no.’

  The dog had spun on her, teeth bared, and she froze. Abruptly, Savannah had stopped her eerie howl and commanded, ‘Henry, don’t!’ Then, more softly, ‘Henry, leave her alone.’ She’d shrugged out of her father’s arms and kneeled. ‘Come to me, Henry. Everything’s all right. Come!’

  The dog had looked warily at Brynn, then Garrett, and after a moment trotted to Savannah, letting her wrap her arms around his neck. She’d hugged him fervently and he’d let out another whine, as if in sympathy.

  Brynn had been dimly aware of sirens screaming in the distance shortly before someone began pounding on the front door. Garrett had looked at Brynn. ‘It’s the deputies I called earlier. Come downstairs. I’ll fill them in before I get you and Savannah home.’

  And so he had, although Savannah had simply clung to Henry, stared, and never made another sound.

  Brynn’s thoughts jerked back to the funeral service as the speaker’s voice rose. ‘And I shall close with lines from the twenty-third Psalm, which is one of my favorites,’ he informed his audience. He bowed his head, as did all of the mourners. ‘Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.’

  The director raised solemn eyes, gazing meaningfully at the group. ‘And I’m sure we all hope Samuel does get to live in that house forever. Amen …’ He paused, then raised his voice to a loud, ringing tone as he lifted his hand and waved to the beautiful blue sky. ‘Farewell, Samuel!’

  Brynn wondered for a minute how Sam’s wife could have allowed this travesty of a service. Then the answers came: because she chose to have no say; because she didn’t care as long as Sam was in the ground and she could say he’d had a ‘proper’ funeral.

  At the end of the service, some people moved forward toward the coffin and pulled flowers out of the casket spray and few wreaths, a custom Brynn hated. Let the dead have their flowers, she thought. You’ll just throw them in the trash when you get home.

  ‘Do you want to get a flower?’ Cassie asked.

  ‘No!’ Brynn snapped just as she saw the gray gaze of Rhonda Sanford on her. ‘What’s she doing here?’

  Cassie looked at Rhonda then back at Brynn. ‘Maybe she knew Sam. What’s the matter? Are you still mad at her for starting a ruckus with Mark? Because I told her he was a friend of mine and I didn’t want to hear about anything like that happening again or else I’d have to let her go.’

  ‘I didn’t expect you to fire her for what she said to Mark, but I don’t like her, and not just because of Mark. Something about her gives me the creeps.’

  ‘Well, she is sort of a puzzle. She can be charming with a customer one minute and cold as ice to another employee the next. That’s strange behavior and doesn’t make her popular with the store’s staff.’ Cassie looked at Rhonda again. ‘Uh oh. I think she came because she
knew Garrett would be here.’

  Brynn glanced at Rhonda. Sure enough, as Garrett spoke to an older man, Rhonda headed straight for him. She wore a tight, short black dress and a waterfall of pearls over a low-scooped neckline. She tottered slightly on the ground in her five-inch heels.

  ‘Is she wearing enough jewelry?’ Brynn asked sourly.

  ‘Watch it, kid,’ Cassie said good-naturedly. ‘You sound jealous.’

  ‘That’s absurd. After all, according to her, Garrett is her lover. I guess he likes the way she dresses. Anyway, it’s nothing to me.’

  ‘Oh, sure it’s nothing to you.’

  Brynn looked at Cassie, who raised an eyebrow.

  ‘Anyway, from the way he’s watching her bearing down on him, Garrett is not her lover. In fact, he looks like he’d like to run a mile.’

  Brynn stifled a giggle then turned to see Ray O’Hara, wearing dark jeans and a dark gray shirt, approaching Nathan and Tessa. He was smiling. They smiled back. In fact, even from this distance, Brynn could see Tessa’s heightened color and a slight dipping of her head before her face turned almost girlishly flirtatious.

  ‘Are you seeing what I’m seeing?’ Brynn murmured to Cassie. ‘Nathan looks like he’s spotted his long-lost brother.’

  Cassie stared hard as Nathan and Ray vigorously shook hands before Ray turned his attention to Tessa, who blushed, batted her bare eyelids and smiled coyly. ‘I’ve seen her look at Ray that way before.’ Cassie’s whisper had a razor’s edge.

  ‘You have? Tessa?’

  ‘Look, Brynn, I know you think everyone considers Ray an unattractive jerk, but—’

  Lexa suddenly appeared and drew their attention away from Ray. ‘Miss Wilder, Miss Hutton, we’re having the post-funeral reception at the Fenney offices. Mrs Fenney said she didn’t feel up to having a lot of people in her house. I know she’s supposed to be agoraphobic.’ Lexa’s throat closed as she fought tears. The expression in her eyes said everything about her feelings for Mrs Fenney.