Can't Find My Way Home

by Carlene Thompson

  Savannah let out her breath. ‘Great. I was afraid you’d want to go home.’

  ‘Not on your life. I’m in the mood to go on a ride. Who else wants to go?’

  ‘Depends on what it is,’ Cassie said. ‘Anything except the Ferris wheel. Ferris wheels scare me to death.’

  As soon as they stepped out of the Maze of Mirrors, Brynn’s gaze shot around the midway, looking for a tall woman with long auburn hair. She couldn’t get the sound of the woman’s laughter out of her head. It was like something from a horror novel. No, it was worse because it was real.

  ‘Are you OK?’ Savannah asked.

  Brynn realized her face was tight, grim. She forced a smile. ‘I’m fine.’ Then she brightened and turned to Cassie. ‘Hey, Cassie, is the merry-go-round too scary for you?’

  Cassie made a face at Brynn. ‘Bring it on!’

  ‘I love the merry-go-round!’ Savannah exclaimed. ‘C’mon, everybody!’

  ‘Why don’t you and Cassie go ahead,’ Garrett said. ‘Brynn and I’ll take pictures.’

  ‘But Brynn doesn’t have a camera—’ Savannah broke off, a knowing smile appearing on her face.

  Cassie took Savannah’s hand and they ran toward the carousel. They got on and the carousel started turning, the horses dipping up and down. Savannah waved and Garrett took a picture.

  ‘Do you have a secret to tell me?’ Brynn asked. ‘I love carousels.’

  ‘Sorry. You can ride the next time around. I wanted to tell you that I talked to Mark’s friend in Baltimore.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘He said Mark began drifting away from his small group of friends before the wife took off, but afterward he cut himself off from just about everyone. This guy, Greg, said he’d been closer to Mark for longer than any of the others, so he hung on. He could tell Mark really needed a friend.’

  ‘I’m glad Greg stuck with him. What was Mark’s emotional shape?’

  ‘Bad. It wasn’t good before his wife left and much worse after. Greg said he didn’t know why Mark cared so much – the wife was hardly ever around and she’d been taking little vacations for a few months. The strange thing was that Mark didn’t seem to love her anymore – he just didn’t want her to leave.’

  ‘He felt deserted again, just like when he lost Dad and then Mom.’ Brynn paused. ‘And me. I should have stayed in Baltimore, not moved to Miami.’

  ‘Don’t blame yourself. You have the right to a life, too. Anyway, Greg said that about a month after the wife’s desertion, Mark started dragging out all of his files on your father’s death and the Genessa Point Killer. He reread everything. He drew time charts. He started putting pictures from the newspapers up on his walls. He was drinking more and more and every time Greg went to see him, he seemed more lost in the past. Then he was fired from the bank, but he didn’t care. He said now he had time to do what he couldn’t do when he was a teenager.’

  ‘What was that?’

  ‘He didn’t tell Greg, just said that the answer was in Genessa Point. He was going back to get answers, no matter what the risk.’ Garrett shrugged. ‘Sorry. I thought you knew the path Mark was on. You just didn’t see it firsthand, like Greg did.’

  ‘I felt it. I just didn’t want to believe it,’ Brynn said slowly. ‘Will you give me Greg’s full name and phone number?’

  Cassie and Savannah passed again. Garrett took another picture. Then he reached in his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. ‘I didn’t tell Greg you’d be calling. In spite of everything I told you, he’s not very forthcoming. I had to pull out the information and he didn’t say anything that would help us. I got the sense that he wanted to help, but he didn’t know much and he was afraid that he might be making things worse for Mark.’

  ‘How could he be?’ Brynn asked as she put the paper in her pocket.

  ‘By sounding like Mark had gone off the deep end. Like he wasn’t quite rational and might do something that would only make things worse. I think he was worried about Mark.’ Garrett looked solemnly at Brynn. ‘I think he wasn’t too sure what Mark might be capable of at this point.’

  ‘Capable of? Like what?’

  Garrett paused, then, after taking a final picture, he said, ‘Like hurting someone to get information he wanted.’

  When the merry-go-round stopped, Savannah slid gracefully off her horse and stood while Cassie clambered off hers. Savannah rushed to her father. ‘So, did you get pictures?’

  ‘Fifteen.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Well, maybe three.’

  Cassie walked slowly to Brynn. ‘If I ever try to ride a horse in skinny jeans again, knock me unconscious.’

  ‘It wasn’t even a real horse!’ Brynn laughed.

  ‘If it had been, I’d be dead.’

  ‘Cassie’s just teasing. She’s really the outdoors type,’ Brynn said to Garrett.

  ‘I could tell. Let’s plan a camping trip. Cassie can pitch the tent and shoot something for our dinner.’

  It was almost nine o’clock and the carnival was in full swing. The sound of carnival music – heavy on calliopes and drums – children giggling, hawkers, screams and laughter from people on rides or games of chance winners swirled around Brynn. Gold, blue and red lights flashed, reflecting off dozens of large, metallic silver balloons. Brynn tried to look for Rhonda, but there were too many people, too much distortion caused by the lights, for her to scan the crowd well. She noticed Garrett doing the same, although he never ignored Savannah, whom he kept close by his side. Was Rhonda really here? Brynn wondered. If she was, what might she do?

  Not much, Brynn reassured herself. After all, what had she done so far? Followed Garrett, sat outside his house spying, broken into Cassie’s house, sprayed cologne on a mirror and lain down on Brynn’s bed. Rhonda seemed capable of only small, non-dangerous acts of revenge. Just because she had such an icy, intimidating demeanor didn’t mean she was a true menace.

  Cassie and Savannah ran off to get glow sticks, and Brynn smiled after them. ‘Looks like those two have really taken to each other,’ she said with pleasure.

  ‘I’m glad Savannah has another friend. I just wish she had some her own age.’

  ‘She said the same thing about you, remember. She thinks you’re lonely and that you worry too much about protecting her.’

  Garrett looked down at her. ‘All good parents try to protect their children.’

  Brynn smiled into his eyes. ‘Mine certainly did. Mom and Dad were wonderful parents, Garrett. Both of them.’

  ‘Is that right? I didn’t know serial killers made good fathers.’

  Brynn jumped as Rhonda’s voice came from behind her. She whirled around to see the woman standing casually, smirking at her. She wore tight black jeans and an unlined black lace top over a demi cup black bra. Her lips shone with bright red gloss and she’d gone heavy with silver eye shadow and black liner. Garrett turned and reached for Brynn’s arm, pulling her closer to him. ‘What the hell do you want, Rhonda?’ he said in a soft, grim voice that was more unnerving than a shout.

  She blinked. His anger had registered, but she quickly pulled herself together. ‘I was just strolling along, watching you two love birds in action.’ She raised a penciled eyebrow. ‘Believe me, Brynn, he’s capable of much more action than he’s showing with you. Maybe he’s not as hot for you as you think he is.’

  Garrett started to answer but Brynn was quicker. ‘Go away, Rhonda. No one’s interested in what you have to say.’

  Surprised by how calm she’d sounded, Brynn continued to look Rhonda in the eye, keeping her face expressionless. Garrett’s arm tightened around hers.

  Rhonda tilted her head. ‘You haven’t heard all I have to say, Brynn. But I applaud your composure. You’re a good actress.’

  ‘I’m not acting. I don’t care about you.’

  ‘Garrett does.’ Rhonda took a step toward Garrett. ‘You care about me. The way you made love to me—’

  ‘Go to hell, Rhonda.’ Garrett drew a bre
ath and spoke sternly. ‘I don’t want to talk to you now, but later I will. You broke into Cassie Hutton’s house.’

  Rhonda gave him a brief, startled look. ‘Cassie Hutton’s house? Why would I break into her house?’

  ‘Because she fired you. Seems you been acting strange lately, insulting customers, and today you turned up late and a damned mess.’

  ‘Or so she says. I think it’s because Brynn said she’d seen me with Ray.’ Her gaze sliced back to Brynn. ‘I saw you at the motel. You didn’t think so, but I did.’ Rhonda stepped closer to Garrett. ‘I don’t care about Ray O’Hara.’

  ‘Ray O’Hara?’ Cassie and Savannah suddenly arrived, both bedecked with glow sticks, necklaces, and bracelets. ‘Ray O’Hara?’ Cassie asked again. ‘What about him?’

  ‘Can’t hold onto your man, Cassie?’ Rhonda asked venomously, her hands beginning to shake. ‘Is that why you fired me? Or did your best friend here ask you to fire me and tell Garrett about Ray? Is that why Garrett’s acting so mean tonight? Well, it won’t work. Garrett’s just pretending to care about Brynn. How could he? Her father was a murderer – a murderer of children like his own little girl. His dear little Savannah. Besides, Garrett can’t let go of me, Cassie.’ She turned cold, glittering gray eyes toward Brynn. ‘Poor Brynn. Dead daddy and lost brother. Can’t find your brother, so close and yet so far …’

  ‘What?’ Brynn asked loudly. ‘What do you mean?’

  Rhonda seemed to coil. ‘I know you’re famous and think you’re beautiful and act like you’re in love with his little brat, but Garrett’s mine.’ She glared at Savannah, looking as if she was going to strike. ‘Mine!’ She turned and ran.

  For a moment everyone stood still, silently watching Rhonda push her way through the flock of people who’d begun to gather around them. Then she disappeared down the crowded midway. ‘What did she mean about me not being able to hold onto my man?’ Cassie finally asked Garrett.

  Garrett shrugged. This morning Brynn had told him about seeing Rhonda and Ray, but she would wait until tomorrow to tell Cassie. Meanwhile, Savannah stood with her mouth slightly open, her eyes fearful.

  ‘Forget about Rhonda, honey,’ Garrett said to his daughter. ‘She’s drunk or something.’

  ‘Or something?’ Savannah asked tremulously. ‘Crazy?’

  ‘Drunk,’ Garrett answered definitively. ‘She’ll get sick and go home. Don’t worry.’

  Savannah still looked fearful. ‘She looked crazy. She said crazy things.’

  ‘Drunk people do that.’

  ‘Oh, forget her. Did you and Cassie buy all the glow stuff for yourselves?’ Brynn asked lightly, trying to act as if nothing mattered but the luminous handful of items Savannah and Cassie held. ‘I like glow bracelets and I know your dad wanted something.’

  When Savannah didn’t answer, Cassie said, ‘Uh, we got something for everyone.’ She glanced at Savannah. ‘Didn’t we? Show your dad what you got for him.’

  Savannah looked absently at all the glowing objects in her arms and said in a small voice, ‘I got Daddy a red glow stick.’

  Daddy, Brynn thought. She’d never heard Savannah call Garrett Daddy. She’d become a scared little girl. She even looked as if she’d shrunk in on herself, trying to look like a child.

  Garrett held out his hand. ‘Great! I was afraid you’d buy me a necklace.’ He took the glow stick. ‘If this was a little longer it could be a lightsaber like the ones in Star Wars.’

  ‘It would have to be a lot longer and you’d need a blue one if you want to be like Luke Skywalker, the good guy. Darth Vader’s lightsaber was red,’ Brynn laughed. The laughter was strained, but Garrett played along.

  ‘Does this woman know her Star Wars movies or what?’ he asked Savannah.

  ‘I guess she does,’ Savannah said without enthusiasm. ‘Three bracelets for you, Brynn.’ Savannah held them out. ‘I thought you’d want bracelets because you’ve already got that cool dragonfly necklace. For me, I got one bracelet and two necklaces. I’m going to wear both necklaces tonight, but when I get home, I’ll give one to Henry.’

  ‘With all that light, he’ll never go to sleep,’ Brynn said. ‘He’ll stay up and read all night, which is fine as long as he reads one of my books.’

  Savannah finally smiled. Cassie encouraged her, modeling her own five bracelets, two necklaces and two glow sticks. ‘How do I look?’

  ‘Like you’re in no danger of getting lost,’ Brynn said as Garrett snapped a couple of pictures of Cassie. Then Brynn’s smile failed and her stomach clenched as she thought, You’re not in danger of getting lost, like Mark. Oh, Mark, where are you? How can I be here laughing, almost having a good time, when you’re God-knows-where?

  Cassie, who knew her every facial expression, stopped posing and said loudly, ‘I’m ready to go on another ride! How about you, Savannah? And this time, Brynn’s going with us!’

  As they walked toward the Tilt-a-Whirl, Savannah ahead of them with Cassie, Brynn asked Garrett, ‘What are you going to do about Rhonda?’

  ‘We have no evidence that she’s done anything against the law,’ Garrett answered in a low voice. ‘But I’ll have a deputy pick her up and bring her in for questioning. That’s the best I can do right now.’

  When they reached the ride, they could see that the cars held three passengers each, so Garrett said Cassie, Brynn and Savannah should ride in one while he took pictures. A minute after the three had gotten settled, the cars began spinning in different directions and at different speeds. Up, down, around and around, faster, slower, faster. Brynn noticed Cassie gripping the seat, her eyes closed, her lips clenched. Savannah, sitting between them, was laughing and waving at her father as they passed him dutifully taking photos.

  At the end of the ride, Cassie sat still and announced, ‘I might be sick.’ Cassie swallowed a couple of times. ‘I need to sit here for a few minutes.’

  ‘You can’t,’ Savannah said. ‘We have to get off so other people can ride.’

  Cassie climbed shakily out of the car, her face pale and sweaty. Brynn, seeing that Cassie wasn’t just scared or dizzy, took hold of her arm and led her away from the ride, Savannah following them anxiously. ‘What’s wrong?’ Garrett demanded when they reached him.

  ‘I think all that spinning around got to Cassie,’ Brynn said. ‘She doesn’t feel so well.’

  Savannah pointed. ‘There’s a bench. Cassie can sit down and I’ll go over to that concession stand and get her something to drink. Would you like a Coke or 7Up or just water, Miss Hutton?’

  ‘I’d love a 7Up, thanks.’ Cassie smiled at Savannah.

  Brynn looked around. She couldn’t shake the disturbing feeling that they were being watched. She wondered if Rhonda would dare to suddenly show up and create another scene. Her gaze searched the crowd, looking for a tall, slim woman with auburn hair wearing a black lace top and a black bra. Her mind was so consumed with Rhonda, she didn’t see Nathan and Tessa approaching the bench.

  ‘Oh, Cassie, are you all right? You look terrible!’

  ‘Thank you,’ Cassie said dryly to Tessa. Nathan looked impossibly handsome next to his plain, long-faced sister in her pleated waist baggy jeans teamed with a cardigan set that looked like it had come from the fifties and her thin hair pulled back in the ever-present white ribbon. ‘Actually, I have an upset stomach. The Tilt-a-Wheel was too much for me,’ Cassie managed.

  ‘You don’t look terrible. You just look like you’re not feeling up to par,’ Nathan said quickly, smoothing over his sister’s unflattering comment. ‘Some of those rides can do a real number on your stomach.’

  ‘Where’s Ray?’ Brynn asked. ‘We saw him earlier and he said he was with you two.’

  ‘We lost him at one of the game of chance tents,’ Nathan said with an edge to his voice. ‘He’s a real gambler.’

  ‘Oh, he’s just having fun and not spending much money.’ Tessa sounded defensive. Brynn immediately wondered if Nathan didn’t approve of Ray dating his sister and was
relieved to see Savannah and Garrett approaching them.

  ‘Here’s your 7Up,’ Savannah, clearly sensing tension, said hesitantly, handing the giant cup to Cassie.

  ‘Oh, thank you, honey.’ Cassie immediately took a gulp. ‘That feels better already.’

  Savannah smiled, then looked at Tessa. ‘Hello, Miss Cavanaugh.’

  ‘Hello, dear. Playing nurse tonight?’

  ‘I just got Cassie a drink. No big deal. Are you having fun?’

  ‘I suppose it’s amusing. I just can’t stand all the noise. I hate loud noises.’ Tessa stared at the beautiful girl and Brynn was sure she saw jealousy flicker in her pale eyes. Then she smiled. ‘I don’t think you’ve ever met my brother. Savannah Dane, this is Nathan Cavanaugh.’

  ‘Hello, Mr Cavanaugh,’ Savannah said.

  Nathan held out his hand and flashed his dazzling smile. ‘Not so formal! We have met, but you were only about three years old. I’m Nathan – or Nate – and I’ve been friends with your dad since we were kids.’

  ‘Oh.’ Even though Nathan was over twenty years her senior, Savannah responded to his knockout face and warm voice. She smiled beatifically and said in a melting tone, ‘I’m very pleased to meet you. Sorry I don’t remember meeting you before … Nathan.’

  Brynn could hardly suppress cringing for Savannah as Garrett loudly stepped in, all fatherly protective of his little girl. ‘You were just a baby, sweetheart. You’re still my baby.’ Savannah blushed furiously as Garrett wrapped his arm around her and squeezed. ‘Hello, Tessa, Nate. Enjoying the carnival?’

  ‘It’s nice. I was just saying it’s a bit loud,’ Tessa said. ‘And I don’t like rides.’

  ‘Tessa’s just not used to being out so late at night around a bunch of people. When I’m home, I always drag her out of the house. She’ll have to change her ways when we go to Morocco.’

  ‘Morocco?’ Savannah echoed.

  ‘Casablanca in Morocco,’ Nathan said. ‘I have a job there starting next week. I’ve talked Tessa into taking a leave of absence from the library to go with me. After I’m done, we’re going to travel some more. It’s time Tessa had some fun in her life!’