Accidental Alpha
Page 19
“Al,” he called, lifting my chin with the inside edge of one finger. “You’ve never looked more beautiful.”
My chest swelled and swooned, the sincerity of his words all but leaving a trail of blood from his wide open chest.
His eyes never left my face, and just his lips moved. “Not ever.”
“Then why are you staring at me like that?” I asked.
His answer both romantic and simple. “Because I can’t look away.”
Sweet Jesus, he was good. If the things he was saying were a natural inclination, without the help of a romance novel from Danny, I didn’t want to know the power he could wield under Danny’s tutelage.
Without any other way to stop him from looking at me (and maybe a little bit because I wanted to), I rolled up onto my sand covered toes and placed my lips on his. He had to slump to meet me in the middle, so he did, but scooped me up in his arms with my feet off of the ground when the strain became too much.
He let my lips explore, for once laying back and letting me take the lead.
I was nervous. Believe it or not, in almost fifty years, I’d never had complete control of a kiss. I’d been happy to let my men take the lead, as most of the time, they’d taken it to good places.
But this was different.
I didn’t know if he was making a statement or had lost his way in the wind, but regardless, I took the opportunity and spent every last ounce of it.
My tongue danced, teasing and taunting his to chase it, retreating into my mouth just enough to make him follow. And he did, tilting his head to go deeper when I demanded it and backing off when I didn’t.
It wasn’t the best kiss that I’d ever had physically. But it sure as hell empowered me emotionally.
When I pulled away, my feet were still off the ground and my arms were wound around his shoulders. Trusting me to my own safety, his hands left my body and found my face, rubbing the edges of both lips with his thumbs in the most erotic way I’d ever experienced.
No one else was on that beach with us. Suddenly, there were no laughing people, no loud planes. It was just me and Wade, lost in the moment and each other, and just barely fighting our way back to found.
After a lazy late morning and early afternoon at the Sunset Bar, located directly next to Maho Beach on St. Maarten, we made our way back to the ship and locked ourselves in Wade’s room. Throughout lunch and drinks, I never recovered from our moment on the beach, needing to feel him moving inside me as much as anything I’d ever hoped for.
Of course, when I’d whispered this in his ear, he’d been all too happy to oblige, dragging me back to the ship in much the same way that he had the day before.
This time was different though. Normally, his eyes roamed my body aimlessly or followed the line of his hands. But right now, this time, his beautiful deep brown eyes hadn’t left mine.
He moved inside me from above, an arm hooked behind my knee and lifting. Our lips hovered over one another, and the air from our lungs mingled and mixed in a humid cloud of exertion.
“Alli,” he whispered against my lips, rocking his head back and forth like he couldn’t take the pleasure. “God, Al. You feel so good.”
“Uh huh,” I agreed smartly, nodding perpendicular to his shake.
“This feels different,” he said in between ragged, mingled breaths, voicing my earlier thoughts.
Clearly at my most articulate, I nodded again.
He nodded then too, rocking his insistent hips at the same maddeningly slow rhythm, and I watched his eyes flash with each thrust.
The rims around his pupils stood out, glowing the most golden-amber hue of his brown.
They grew in size as his eyes dilated, and I could have sworn I watched as his climax climbed up the length of his long spine and then shot back down.
He fought it though, feeling the squeeze of my internal muscles, urging me on with kisses and murmured words.
“Come on, Alli.”
“Wade.”
“Come, Al.”
I closed my eyes, letting go enough to let sensation wash over me, the previous strain to fight off a premature climax having built a temporary barrier.
It happened all at once, the rush of intense pleasure hitting me both inside and out like a meteor, streaking through space at top speed and burning in an explosion of light as it hits the atmosphere.
My climax did the same, lingering and burning out slowly as it dropped from the sky, breaking up into tiny pieces so small that the landing seemed cushioned.
My thighs squeezed their wrap on his back tighter, waiting for him to join me and riding my most perfect wave.
Wade’s throat flexed as he finally gave in, letting his own orgasm wash through him with an intensity that had his face contorting attractively.
He was in rapture, and in watching him, so was I.
His lips captured mine once more, moving without method or rhythm. He wasn’t looking to impress me with his skills. He wasn’t looking for much of anything.
Still lost in the grip of his pleasure, he was just living it, seeking a further connection and getting it, savoring the taste of me while I did the same. His hands brushed the hair back from my face, slicking and tangling it at once. His fingers sought refuge, finding their paths and settling, and supporting the weight of my head with the thumb-side ridges of his palms.
His hips left mine slowly, the weight of his upper body never lessoning as he slid them to the side and removed the condom.
More properly prepared, he’d moved the garbage within a foot of the bed, making for an easy disposal that didn’t require the disengagement of our skin.
Rolling slowly to his back, he took me with him, settling me into the crook of his arm and pushing me until my front met his side. My bare breasts straddled his torso and my legs mirrored them by straddling his thigh.
We didn’t speak for long moments, both scared to spook the other into ruining this moment.
I wasn’t running, but I wanted to guarantee that he wouldn’t.
“How come you don’t use a lot of endearments?” I asked, playing mindlessly with the pattern of faint freckles on the inside if his shoulder.
He just barely laughed one huff of air. “I’m fifty-two years old. I have a hard enough time remembering your name. And mine, for that matter.”
“I don’t mean just with me. I mean in general. With Danny even. All you really ever call him is Dan.”
“What do you want me to call him?”
“Wade,” I called, trying to get him to be serious.
“Wouldn’t that get confusing?”
“Wade!” I snapped, knowing he was avoiding the question on purpose.
“I don’t know. Jesus.” He scrubbed a hand down his face and then, lifting his head from the pillow, along the back of his neck. “I’ve never really thought about it. Maybe because nobody ever really used one with me?” He shrugged and mulled it over. “The only thing anybody ever called me in foster care was my name.”
Oh my God.
How heartbreaking.
My feminine heart immediately wept.
“Stop,” he commanded, giving me a slight shake to get my attention.
“Stop what?” I asked innocently, wiping away a rogue tear.
Laughter rumbled deep in his chest.
“Come on. Don’t buy that crap. I’m not still wounded and broken from my childhood. I’ve had plenty to be thankful for since then.”
“Sure,” I agreed just to agree.
It totally still bothered him, but talking about himself and his past made him distinctly uncomfortable.
His eyes were too cunning for my liking.
“No, not sure, Al.” Grabbing my shoulders, he centered me to face him from above and looked me square in the eye. He didn’t like what he found. “You’re thinking like a woman.”
“Well, I am a woman—”
“Yes. And I normally appreciate all the things that are womanly about you.” His expression turned slightl
y lascivious. “But right now, don’t. Don’t use all of those superior female brain cells. Think like a man. The difference between you calling me Wade and baby is practically none, and that’s true for most of the dick wielding population.”
I huffed my disbelief and forced my angry arms to cross on my chest. He didn’t care if I called him baby? Fine.
“Alli,” he whispered, reaching out to stroke my face. “We don’t care what you call us, so long as you call. That’s the key.”
“You like to talk on the phone?” I asked in mock-wonder, knowing if he was like any other man I’d ever met, that would panic him.
“No,” his eyes widened as he answered and then quickly backpedaled, “I mean, yeah, I’ll answer if you call, but I just meant calling for me in general.” Babbling on, he explained, “Around the house, in bed, that kind of thing.”
I let a small smirk curve my lips. “Yeah. I know. Good job covering though.”
“I see how it’s gonna be.”
“What?”
“You torturing me all the time, talking me in circles until I stick my foot in my mouth one way or another.” What he was saying didn’t sound all that good, but he said it with a smile.
“Um, and that’s something you think you want to experience all the time?” I asked timidly.
“What do you think, Alli?”
“I think I don’t like when you answer my questions with questions. I think there’s a lot I don’t know about you and can’t know about you, and all of that together has me wondering a lot of things.”
“What do you mean ‘can’t’ know about me?” he asked.
“Well, you don’t talk about Melly other than vague references—”
“What do you want to know?” he asked, starting to get defensive.
“I don’t even know what she looked like, Wade. Am I a spitting image, completely the opposite . . . I mean, you haven’t asked details about Nick either. I thought maybe you didn’t want to know.”
He smiled, shook his head, and bit his bottom lip all at once, rolling me over quickly so that he was completely on top of me, resting his weight in a forearm.
“Has all of that been in your head this whole time?”
“Well, yeah,” I admitted with a shrug. “Kinda.”
He expelled a deep breath, and tucked my loose hair behind my ear, leaving his warm hand on my neck when he was finished. “I haven’t asked about Nick because I already know.”
I started to shake my head in confusion, but he touched a single finger to my lips to silence me. “Shh.”
When I complied, he continued. “I see the way you look at Hunter. I know he’s just like Nick, both in looks and in actions.”
My nose stung.
“You have that living embodiment to remind you every day. For me, it’s a little different. People always say that you remember everything about a person after they die. Their smell, the exact color of their hair or eyes, or the feel of their skin.”
I nodded, more for support than anything else.
“Well, I really don’t. Melly died a lot of years ago, and just as they would have with age, her physical characteristics have blurred and changed subtly in my mind. I don’t have anyone who reminds me of her or acts the way she did. All I have is my memories.”
I stared into his brown eyes wondering if I’d be able to remember all the nuances if something happened to him. Judging by the fact that I couldn’t even remember all of the items on my grocery list with it written down in my hand, I doubted it.
I rubbed my fingers on his lips, categorizing the feel and form of them, and then swept my hand to his cheek.
“So I didn’t choose you based on your similarities—or lack there of—to her. I didn’t compare your hair and eyes to hers, categorize it as better or worse. All I saw was you. If anything, you’re attracted to a person based on more of an influence of hers than I am.”
I shook my head, not fully understanding.
“Think about it. Nick has more to do with me wanting you than you wanting me too. I’m not Nick. But you are. At least part of him.”
Just like that, I understood.
And he was so right.
One of the hardest parts of finding someone at my age was finding someone who embraced who you were now along with who you used to be.
I knew that Melly was a part of him, and he knew that Nick was a part of me.
Their struggles had once been ours, and those experiences shaped us into the people who were falling in love with each other. Without the Melly in him, he wouldn’t be the Wade I knew, and without the Nick in me, I wouldn’t be this version of me.
Our lives had been puzzled together by fate, and any missing piece would have stood a good chance of ruining the picture.
“I want it all, Alli. I want to be there for everything. I wanna hold your hand when you need one to anchor you. I wanna watch you beat this thing and thrive. I wanna watch you light up when your kids come into the room, and I wanna do it when our grandkids do.”
I wanted that too. I did. What scared me, though, was that I was starting to want it so badly I didn’t think I could ever not want it.
I WAITED PATIENTLY AT ALLISON’S door wearing the most expensive suit I’d ever owned.
Alright. Only half of that was true. I pretended to wait patiently.
I’d had no idea that cruises had dinner requirements known as “Formal Nights,” and since we’d neither plotted nor planned in advance, I’d had to purchase my suit, among other things, in the shops on the ship.
Never much of a fan of wearing one anyway, I was fidgeting with discomfort.
If Allison would just come out, I knew my concentration would be on other things.
I should have never let her get out of the bed in the first place, but she’d insisted.
Since I’d trapped her there last night and all day today, she was adamant that we spend the last night with the others.
She was probably right, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t pout. Or a grown man’s version of it.
Which, apparently, was to fidget.
Raising a closed fist, I knocked once more. She was making me wait on purpose, I knew it.
“Alli, come on.” Rolling my head backward and expelling two lungfuls of air, I added under my breath, “You’re killing me.”
When I rolled my head forward again, the door was open and one perfect eyebrow was enjoying my pain. “I’ll revive you if necessary.”
Blue eyes sparkled playfully amidst a smiling face. Her makeup was done more heavily, highlighting each differing fleck of aqua and turquoise in her eyes and making her tan skin glow. A slender neck tapered into the line of her necklaces, which settled enticingly among some of my favorite assets. The top of her dress scooped and flirted, showing off just enough skin to have me pushing her back into the open door behind her.
“No!” she laughed, slapping a hand out and catching herself on the doorjamb before I could push her all the way through. “Dinner. We have dinner.”
The rest of her dress was a simple black and, as I discovered by taking one step back when pushed, cascaded down the line of her body and ended in a slit riding so high that it revealed one perfect thigh.
“Good God, woman. You’re evil.”
She winked. “An evil genius.”
“Fair enough,” I offered, surreptitiously adjusting myself in my pants and offering her a gentlemanly arm.
Her answering smile was breathtaking.
Her arm slid into mine with ease as she pushed away from the door, pulled it closed behind her, and placed one kiss on my scruffy cheek.
“You’re not so bad looking yourself.”
“I’m just an old man,” I argued, pulling her gently to make our way down the long hall.
“That too.”
“Oh thanks,” I chuckled, tucking her hand into mine on my forearm.
“You’re one of those old men you can’t teach either,” she teased, continuing to poke fun at me sweetly. S
he’d spent the afternoon trying to explain cell phone technology.
“I just don’t see the point in having a different ringtone for every person you know! How are you supposed to know it’s your phone ringing?”
Her laughter rang out in peals, echoing off of and enchanting even the walls of the hallways.
By the time we made it to our table in the dining room, we both had beaming smiles permanently attached to our faces. We weren’t the only ones, I noticed as I looked around the crowded room. Families and couples, groups and singles, young and old alike, the people around us were alive with the burn of vacation. It was coming to a close, the ship docking back in Fort Lauderdale tomorrow, but the fun and memories would last forever.
New friendships on the horizon, long lost pen pals in the making, people mingled and mixed in a cacophony of unexpected comfort that had been lacking only six short nights ago.
Strangers were no longer strangers, and existing friends became ones that would last a lifetime.
I looked at Allison’s beautiful face, so womanly and wise and warm.
Friends became lovers, and lovers found love.
We’d barely started the first course, glasses clinking and chatter clattering all around us, when I heard them.
“What do you think?” Haley laughed as she stared into Danny’s eyes. She was attempting a whisper, but since it was her, I could still hear every word she said.
“The lines Wade’s been using on your mom?” Danny asked for confirmation.
“Uh huh,” she nodded mischievously.
“Um,” Danny mumbled, glancing at me and knowing I could hear him.
“I know!” Haley whisper-yelled. “If the earth weren’t round, I’d walk off the edge of it for you.”
Danny chuckled, and so did I—under my breath.
I had to shake my head at her creativity. It was no wonder she had a career as a writer.
Clearing my throat, I broke into their private conversation. “It’s promising . . .”
She jumped at the sound of my voice directed at her.
“But I’m pretty sure I’d have a hard time working it into conversation.”
Haley blushed, the closest to bashful she ever got, and nuzzled her heated face into Danny’s throat.