Someone Else's Ocean

by Kate Stewart

  “Hi, Kelli. Wait until you see the inside.” I whispered, hugging her back. I greeted the two men pulling bags from the trunk of the rental.

  “Guys, I know you’re anxious to get settled, but if you can let the bags wait a minute so I could show you around, I would appreciate it.” The men reluctantly let the bags go and followed me down the tinted cement shell concrete stairs that sat surrounded by lush tropical plants. When I opened the door, they all gasped in unison. At the time I took the reservation and spoke to Kelli, I wanted to make sure she got the best rental we had. She had just survived her second round of chemo and deserved the oasis she was about to spend a week in. The tears that shimmered in her eyes as she assessed her piece of the island did it all for me. She lifted a grateful gaze to mine before she raced out onto the marble porch at the back of the house and tackled her husband, who had already covered half of the top floor. His smile matched hers and in a simple maneuver he gripped her from his back and pulled her tightly to him. Excited whispers were exchanged between them as he held her like his lifeline and his eyes conveyed everything he felt for her. My chest swelled with admiration while another part of me rejoiced in their excitement.

  It was my favorite type of rush, sharing my peaceful island with those who deserved some peace of their own.

  But I’d never had life be so ugly as to dish out cancer.

  Kelli’s eyes found me again and I pushed a tear away with my finger in an attempt to mask it as she mouthed “thank you.”

  The other couple, who Kelli told me was her best friend and husband, stood on a separate porch and rapidly spoke while they pointed to the lone mountain nestled across their lawn, made of deep blue water.

  “That’s Hans Lolich,” I pointed out, “And it’s for sale. Thirty-five million and it’s yours.”

  The couples roamed the house taking in their rented oasis and kept their eyes glued past the cliffside back patio that stretched the length of the large two-story villa. It took me several minutes to get their attention, but I had to admit I loved watching them run around like children who just arrived at their first carnival.

  “Okay, guys listen up.” For the next few minutes, I showed them around the house and explained as much as I could get through to them, when their thoughts were on their first drink and a dive in their private pool.

  Once I had them settled, and we’d said our goodbyes, I made my way out the front door and left the keys on the mahogany table next to it.

  “Hey!” I turned to see Kelli close the front door behind her, her hands clasped on the knob. “I know you rented this house to me for under the normal weekly rate.” I saw her audibly swallow and had to fight emotion to keep my tears from coming. She needed this trip. I’d heard it in her voice when she made the reservation, the defeat, the need to be excited about something, anything. It was rare that I spoke to a client for more than a few minutes, but Kelli and I spoke for the better part of an hour when she called. After my talk with her, I spent a day or two trying to imagine what it was like having poison shoved into my veins while I fought for my life and counted on others to try to save it.

  Living in St Thomas, away from the life I knew and being disconnected, actually helped me become more in tune with those around me. I haven’t always been a person’s person. In fact, the New Yorker in me had grown immune to brushing shoulders with millions of other people, indifferent to the presence of other wandering souls. I was completely apathetic and I was positive the old Koti Vaughn might have shied away from the hug Kelli gave me earlier. My hope was I had evolved from that narcissistic New Yorker.

  Even if my involvement with her elation was small, the smile on her face was my reward.

  Saluting me, Kelli squinted from the bright sun as she spoke. “Thank you, Koti.”

  “You deserve to be happy.”

  She laughed and gripped her arms. “You know, I was just thinking that the other day. I looked in the mirror at the woman who used to run a 5k in twenty minutes and asked myself—what if there comes a time when I only have twenty minutes left. The answer was so simple.”

  “And what was it?”

  “Be simple and do whatever the hell it is you have to do to make yourself happy.”

  “I think you’re right.” Except I knew she was, I’d been living as a simpleton for months.

  She gave me a knowing grin. “And I’m not the only one who deserves it. New York lost a gem. Thank you again.” I may have overshared a little when she called. It was cheaper than therapy and more rewarding when we shared the common bond that reality, sometimes sucked.

  But sometimes reality shifted the clouds and let in a light so bright, it was impossible to ignore.

  My island was that light for me, and I had a feeling it could be hers too.

  She winked at me before she slipped into the light blue, double-wide doors.

  On the drive home, I meditated on her words. I’d been so nervous about the prospect of having feelings for Ian, I’d nearly lost sight of the fact that our newly rekindled friendship was a gift. The truth was, being with Ian made me happy. And I would enjoy it for as long as we had.

  I CLIMBED MY PORCH STEPS and paused when I heard the first few keys of the piano sound. The baby grand that sat in the living room hadn’t been touched in years, well, not by the fingers of an experienced pianist. My dad used to play when I was a little girl, often entertaining our friends in the penthouse. Opting to see if any more music would come, I stood waiting at the front door. My jaw dropped when a melody began to fill the air. I couldn’t put my finger on the song, but it sounded familiar. After a few bars, I managed to slip into the house unnoticed. Mesmerized by the sight of him, I picked Disco up before she could make a sound. He missed a key or two, but quickly recovered, his timing was that of a practiced musician. It took every bit of strength I had to remain idle as he blew me away with his talent. While watching him, my new ‘live for the moment’ confidence was being obliterated away note by note.

  Don’t overthink this, Koti!

  No matter how hard I tried to forget Ian Kemp once he left me, I knew no matter how much time passed, or how our relationship ended, I would never forget how I felt watching him play that piano.

  Thunder sounded in the distance and rain began to hit the roof of the house and trail down the windowpane next to me while the rest of the afternoon sun faded under the cover of the clouds. With the room dimmed, I smiled at the sight of lit candles. Ian had created his own bubble.

  Inwardly sighing, I sat back on the arm of my sofa and admired my view. He grimaced, once or twice and then sank into the music, his posture relaxing slightly while his chest flexed under the white T-shirt that covered him. When the last note was played, he sat back, rubbing his hands on his thighs before he looked up and spotted me. I was sure I looked insane gawking at him, but he just grinned.

  “Hi. I know that was horrible.”

  I shook my head. “Hi, back. That was beautiful. I know that song.”

  “I played it in my last recital, it’s “Clair de Lune” by Debussy.”

  “Accomplished pianist too, huh? Is there anything you can’t do?”

  “Lots of things,” he said, standing before he glanced at the large wall clock past my shoulder. “You’re home early.”

  “Slow day. The boss told me to take the rest of it off. How long did you play?”

  “Just through grade school.”

  “That was grade school level?”

  “I was a bit advanced.”

  I harrumphed. “You think?”

  He ignored my compliment as he stalked toward me, his eyes darkening.

  “So lucky me,” he said moving to stand in front of me before he took a squirming Disco from my arms to grant her freedom. “You’re home early and it’s raining,” he murmured leaning in, “what shall we do?”

  I swallowed. “I was thinking we could start our book club?”

  “Sure,” he said with a smirk, pulling my purse off my shoulder and tossing
it on the couch behind me. “After.”

  “After?”

  “After,” he whispered, crushing me to his chest before capturing my mouth.

  Hours later, I lingered next to a hot running shower, my whole body vibrating as I stood in a daze, my hair a sex afro. My abdomen was screaming, and I winced at the pinch I still felt from his size. The man fucked like Tarzan.

  “Hey,” he said in a raspy voice behind me. I turned to see him darken my doorway and took a step back. “I, uh… I can’t do it again, sorry.” I jumped into the shower and ducked under the stream as the door open and he joined me. He chuckled as he turned me to face him. “What’s with the brush-off?”

  The banging began below, and I knew I was in a world of shit. I winced as I ducked for the shampoo.

  “You’re hurt?”

  “I’m sore.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, tilting my chin. “I’m a little rough.”

  “A little,” I said with wide eyes.

  “Shit, I really hurt you?”

  “No, I mean I’m hurting, but it doesn’t really have to do with the sex. I mean it does but…”

  “Koti, spit it out,” he said impatiently. “I’m feeling like an asshole here.”

  “I have a condition that can make sex painful at times, well after sex.” I glanced at the tile floor. “Sometimes during.”

  “You were hurting during?” he asked confused. “Those screams?”

  “Were orgasms,” I assured. “Ian, you’re fine. It’s called endometriosis. That’s why I was on the hammock that day crying. It’s awful to endure and a shitty subject, so let’s not talk about it.”

  He let out a breath and gripped my shoulders. “Be honest, did any part of that hurt during?”

  “No, I swear. I like you but not enough to hurt myself.”

  “Okay, so what do we do?”

  I laughed. “What do you mean, what do we do? We do nothing. I just have to deal with it.”

  I lathered up his hair while he studied me and gave him a faux hawk. “Sexy.”

  “Yeah?” He poked his head out of the shower and looked in the mirror. “I like this look on me.”

  “Me too,” I murmured pressing a kiss to his throat.

  He looked down at me with a grin, as suds slipped down his temple.

  I was so in love with him.

  He gathered me to him and slid his hands down to where I ached. I leaned back into his frame as his cock hardened. “I’m sorry. I’ll take it easier on you.”

  “Don’t you dare,” I said fisting his thickness between us. “Don’t. Please don’t do that. I can honestly say this is the only time the pain has been worth it.” Every single tooth he had was displayed with his answering crocky smile.

  “Don’t smile at me like that.”

  “So, what you’re saying is I’m the best lover you’ve ever had.”

  Hell yes.

  “I never said that, but thanks for blasting me, pal.”

  “Blasting you?”

  “It’s an inside joke.”

  “Ah,” he said, lathering up. “Will I ever be privy to this information?”

  “Doubtful,” I said, rubbing the soap over his chest and down his forearms. He clasped our hands and kissed the back of mine. “I’m starving. Hungry?”

  “Sure.” The ache in my belly began to roar as I pressed my lips to his before I stepped out of the shower. Once dry, I frantically searched my cabinets. “Shit.”

  “What?” he asked, toweling off. I took a second to admire him. “You look great, Ian. Not that you didn’t look good before, but, you really look so… great.”

  His eyes softened. “Can’t find anything for the pain?”

  “You’re shit at taking compliments, you know that?”

  “I’ll run to the chemist and fetch something.”

  “No, you don’t have to do that.”

  “Then you can just suffer,” he said rolling his eyes.

  Half an hour later, I was curled up in bed with my heating pad when Ian strolled in with two bags. “Did you stock up on Advil until the apocalypse?”

  “I’ve got it all.” He emptied the bag onto my bed. “Lift your shirt and lower your broeks.”

  “Broeks?”

  “Panties.”

  I smiled. “Sexy.”

  He cut a hand through the air. “Just do it.”

  I did as I was told, and he stuck a patch above my pelvic bone, opened a box and gave me four pills and a bottled water to take them with. “That heating patch should do you good, the pharmacist said we can change it every four hours. You can take four of these pills in one go if you need to.”

  Stunned by his kindness, I nodded toward the other bag. “What’s in there?”

  “Chinese food—and a shit load of it—ice cream, and two movies. Come on, we have to go to my house since you’ve decided to live past century.” He held his hand out to me and I winced as I stood. He pressed a kiss to my temple. “I’m sorry.”

  “Damnit, Ian, don’t. Okay? This isn’t going to change, and I don’t want it to interfere with our…” I nodded in embarrassment, “you know.”

  “Quality time?”

  “Exactly,” I said giving him a forced grin. I prayed for the pills to kick in as we walked to his house. He pulled me as close as I could be as we devoured the food and watched our favorite movies from when we were kids, Raiders of the Lost Ark—his—followed by mine, Jaws.

  “Remember when we watched these?” he asked as he loaded Jaws into the DVD player.

  “Of course.”

  “You were so young, I didn’t know if you remembered a lot of that summer.”

  “I remember all of that summer.”

  He gave me warm eyes. “Me too.”

  “You were a hot-headed ass.”

  “You were a total crybaby brat,” he smarted back before he pulled me into his lap. Sometime later, I woke up cradled to his chest. He was staring at my lips in the dim light of the house, the movie flickering over his features. His eyes fluttered closed and he turned his attention back to the screen. I pressed a kiss to his Adam’s apple and drifted back to sleep.

  Heaven or hell, I wasn’t sure which I was dwelling in. I was leaning more toward the former. I’d spent my week on standby waiting for Ella after school to spend every moment I could with her. I applied for a few teaching positions for the fall. My life seemed to be back on track. I was feeling a little more like myself, aside from the new freedom I felt. I was running out of reasons to continue flying back to St. Thomas and I fucking hated the fact that I felt like I needed any other excuse than the one laying in my arms. The truth was we were on a slippery slope. At the same time, I still had so much hatred for Tara, I couldn’t be civil to her for any amount of time. My plans for the summer were mine to make. I was a free man. Ella was going to summer camp in Washington. I had the summer. I could give her the summer. I studied her gorgeous face in the flickering light and got fixed on her lips. She stirred awake and gave me a small smile. I turned my attention back to the screen and felt her lips on my Adam’s apple. My chest ached in that moment at the idea of leaving her.

  I could give myself the summer.

  I SUCKED MY BANANA POP on the love seat flipping the pages of my new book. It was an incredibly hot day, and my AC was working overtime to cool the house. Our book club had commenced a few hours prior. Ian sat back on the couch opposite of me, his feet crossed and propped on the other end. I’d been stealing glances at him every page flip since we started reading. Shirtless in his faded palm tree swim trunks, he looked completely relaxed as he turned through the pages of a mystery novel.

  Slurping on the sweet deliciousness of the freshly made frozen concoction, I managed to get through a chapter before I stole my next glance. To my surprise, his eyes were hot on me.

  “Are you feeling better?”

  “Yes, much.”

  “You have beautiful lips.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Get over here a
nd put them on my cock.”

  “Whaa?” I sat up, my clit pulsing with the low rasp of his voice, my mouth watering at the idea. I couldn’t look away. The whole situation was a train wreck because the New Yorker in me wanted to castrate him, while the feminist in me wanted to tell him to go straight to hell; but even as I feigned offense, I was strangely more turned on than I had ever been in my life.

  Ian wore an infuriatingly sexy smirk. “I can see you fancy the idea as well.”

  He was right, and a part of me hated it. Breathless, I rubbed my lips together as he zeroed in.

  He slipped his shorts down enough so his ready cock sprang free. He was so hard, pre-cum dripped from the tip. He took it in his hand and pumped a few times as I found myself gravitating toward it.

  “You’re serious?”

  “It’s sex and no one tops me in the bedroom, Koti, ever.” He wiped the tip of his dick with a finger and held it out for me. “Come here.”

  I sank to my knees on the carpet looking up at his bedroom eyes. The man turned me on like no other.

  “I’m going to need a view, Miss Vaughn.

  Taking his cue, I unhooked my bikini top.

  “Now, that’s a view.”

  I was dripping. My eyes half closed with arousal as I sucked his finger eagerly before I moved to brace myself above him, one hand on the couch the other gripping his thick dick.

  I was just about to wrap my lips around him when he spoke. “Do a good job, and I’ll make sure you benefit.”

  “Jesus, Ian.”

  He gripped my hair in his fist and leaned down on a whisper. “Suck it.”

  God, why was I so turned on? I wrapped my lips around him down to the base as his fingers threaded through my hair. Pulling away with a pop, I grazed his tip with my teeth before I swallowed and took him in again.

  “Perfect,” he gritted out, gently guiding my head down. He never pushed, but lifted his hips, fucking my mouth as I pumped and sucked.

  “Jesus, those lips, give them to me,” he demanded, pulling me up by my hair, my scalp screaming as he smashed his mouth to mine. Our tongues gave and took as I straddled him on the couch rubbing my covered seam along his dick and moaning into his mouth. He ripped himself away and stared down at me as we both panted. “You aren’t done, I just need to feel you right now,”