Accidental Love (Accidental Crush #2)

by Adrienne Torrisi

  We pull up to a familiar playground and field where the lights of the street lamps from the parking lot are shimmering off the snow. It reminds me of how pristine fresh snow is before life makes it dirty.

  This is a field I know well from years of being dragged to see Ryan play different sports every weekend—football, soccer, baseball. Todd was always there, too, and luckily, that meant Sid was there and at least we had each other. We knew every nook and cranny of this field because we always did anything and everything to avoid watching the actual game.

  "It looks beautiful," I say, taking it all in from the warmth of the car. The snow is untouched, fresh, white, and spectacular. And the surrounding trees are kissed with snow, so even they are sparkling.

  "I know; isn't it incredible? I wanted you to see it. This has always been my favorite place in the world to come after it snows. Even when I was a kid, I would ride my bike here just to see it." As he turns to me and smiles, I can see how special this place is to him. "I mean, I know we have the janitor's closet and hospital chapels, but I wanted to add this one to the list."

  He brushes his thumb across my cheek and then leans in. I think he's going to kiss me, but instead, he reaches over and pulls a lever which makes my seat go flying back. It happens so quickly I scream involuntarily and Todd starts to laugh.

  "Sorry, Ash, I didn't think it was going to go back that fast. I wanted you to see something." He reaches up and pulls back the sunroof, exposing the best view of the black sky dotted with the most beautifully bright stars.

  He releases his seat so we are now in the same position, just staring up at the brilliant, midnight blue sky streaked with sparkling specs. A gust of wind is twirling the loose snow around, making it look like the air is filled with glitter. It is truly breathtaking. I never would have thought this familiar field would be filled with so much magic. I've obviously overlooked it all of these years.

  "It's beautiful," I whisper to him. I'm not sure why I'm whispering, but it only feels right with this majestic beauty so we don’t disturb the perfection of nature.

  He turns his head to look at me and our eyes lock. "I know," he whispers back and then interlocks his fingers with mine as he looks back up at the splendor above. "No one really knows about it; it's like my secret place. I always come here when I need to think or just be alone, but tonight, I wanted to share it with you."

  Feeling his gaze makes me turn back toward him. He gently cradles my cheek and then leans in to kiss me. It's soft and gentle, just like the wisps of snow blowing in through the sun roof.

  "Thank you for sharing it with me. I love it." I smile and kiss him back just as gently, relishing in the feeling of his soft lips on mine. Then he playfully nips my lower lip with his teeth, I also love that.

  "There's only one thing more beautiful here tonight." He smiles deeply, and I feel the flutter of the butterflies in my stomach.

  "It's true. You are way more beautiful," I say as I kiss him with a grin, holding his jaw in my hands.

  "Ha. Ha. Funny." His lips crash into mine. "But wait, there's more."

  "More?"

  "Yes. Put your gloves on."

  "Are we going out there?" I'm almost afraid to hear the answer.

  "Yup. Come on. If you think this is amazing, just wait."

  As soon as he shuts the car off, I immediately miss the heat that was just blowing through the vents. He runs around the car and opens my door, guiding me out by his gloved hand. Then he starts to run toward the playground, and I reluctantly follow close behind. Although, I can't help giggling because:

  1. The air is freezing, and if I don't laugh, I might cry.

  2. Todd looks extremely cute running through the snow. He keeps doing a little hop each time he steps, trying to keep his shoes as dry as possible.

  3. He's so excited it's palpable.

  I can't stop laughing and shouting "Oh, my God!” each time my boots sink into the pristine yet freezing snow. I pull him back. "Todd, wait, stop. I can't." I'm laughing so hard I'm having a difficult time forming words.

  "Oh, yes, you can." He picks me up and starts to run through the snow. We both can't stop laughing. His warm chest is entirely familiar and wholly comforting. I bury my face in it and smell his amazing scent. I could stay right here forever, no matter how freezing it is.

  "We made it." I look up to see his gorgeous blue eyes dancing with flecks of green and grey, smiling down at me. Then he puts me down right in front of the swings. "Hold on a second." He wipes away what must be at least six inches of snow off the seats then he sits down on one and pulls the chains of the other swing next to him to show me it's clean. "Come on. Trust me."

  And I do, always.

  The seat is freezing, even through my puffy coat. Todd is already pumping his legs and getting some amazing air considering we just sat down. He looks back. "Come on, Ash. Who knew you weren't a swinger?" he teases.

  "Oohhh funny. You're going to regret saying that. You might not know this, but I'm the state swinging champion."

  Todd throws his head back and laughs. "That's a title to be proud of."

  I'm catching up to him as I really pump with every muscle I have. He's so fast I am having a hard time keeping up, not to mention he had a head start, but still, I mean it's a swing for the love of God. I must really be out of shape because I already feel it in my legs, and I'm breaking a sweat. At least it's keeping me warm.

  "Look up," Todd says, slowing his kicks down a bit so we are gliding through the air at the same pace now.

  "Wow." He's right; it's even better than the view in the car. There is a whirlwind of snow blowing through the air, and the sky is the most beautiful deep blue with streaks of bluish-pink puffs from the remaining clouds backlit by the moon. The stars are so bright I almost feel like I can reach out and grab them. "It's incredible. When I swing up, I feel like I can touch them they are so close."

  "I know." He glances over and smiles. "And the snow blowing around makes it even better, right?"

  "Yeah. How have you kept this place a secret for so long?"

  He just shrugs then kicks to stop himself, throwing even more snow up into the air. Once he's fully stopped, he pats his lap. "Come here."

  "See, I told you I would win," I say as I slow myself down.

  "Yeah, well, you can't mess with the state swinging champ." He smiles as I climb onto his lap. I feel his warm breath on my ear now that we're sharing one swing.

  "See, you learn something new about me every day."

  Still smiling, he turns me toward him and kisses me. Really kisses me, his tongue gently brushing against mine. The wool of his gloves scratches against my cheek as he pushes his hands up through my hair. This may be the most incredible kiss yet. I can't get enough of him. I could stay here all night with his gloved fingers intertwined with mine.

  "Let's go." He pulls me up.

  "Where now?"

  He doesn't answer; he just holds my hand as we run through the snow. And I no longer care that it's freezing or that snow is seeping into my boots. I don't want this moment of being here with Todd, alone in this special place just for us, to end.

  We are both laughing as the twirling snow tickles our faces, and we stick out our tongues to catch it. Todd suddenly missteps and trips in front of me, making me laugh even harder. The bonus is seeing his cute butt as he's bent over, trying to regain his footing. I'm immediately tempted to throw a snowball at it, so I do. Of course, he retaliates, setting off a full-blown snowball fight within seconds.

  I'm laughing so hard I can't even make a proper snowball. At one point, we both fall down and can't get back up because we are laughing hysterically, so we don't. We make snow angels and then kiss. I feel the cold, wetness being absorbed by my coat, but kissing Todd is so incredible I don't mind it. Each kiss is better than the next as we roll around in the powder soft snow.

  "We're making kissing angles," he jokes, smiling through his kiss. Then he pulls back and his face drops when he registers my shiveri
ng lips. "Are you cold?"

  "Freezing!" I say with a smile. Both of our lips are turning blue and our faces are frozen, yet our body heat has been keeping us warm, sort of.

  "Come on," he says as he helps me up and brushes the snow off my back. His wool fingers are locked with mine once more as we make our way back to the warmth of his car.

  Instantly, heat is pouring out of the vents and I feel myself start to defrost. I look out the window and see our indentations in the once perfectly smooth snow, marking everywhere we've just been and everything we've done. It's like a diary of imprints, just as it will always be imprinted in my memory.

  A gurgling from my stomach breaks our silence, and we both start to laugh.

  "Hungry?" Todd looks over at me with a smile.

  "A little." I shrug.

  He reaches in the back seat and pulls out a thermos with two glass mugs and a baggie filled with marshmallows. Yep, the butterflies are definitely back. I can't believe he actually brought hot chocolate and marshmallows. This is so much better than anything I imagined.

  "This hot chocolate is perfect," I say, still in shock that he thought of this.

  "Dinner?" he asks as he hands me a plate and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I can't help laughing at how lopsided and messy the sandwiches are. He definitely made these himself, which only increases the fluttering in my stomach as I feel heat wash over my frozen cheeks.

  "Do you like it?" he asks, noticing my cheeks. I can tell by his grin he is pleased with how our date is going. I think he knows just how awesome he is; just for a second, at least.

  I answer him with a sweet, gentle kiss to match everything he has done for me tonight. "I love it. Best. Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich. Ever."

  Chapter 6: February—Valentine's Day

  Having a boyfriend for Valentine's Day is completely changing my opinion of this holiday. For the first time ever, I'm not wearing black and cursing this manufactured holiday; instead, my stomach feels like a marching band is in it as I drive to school with Ryan in his classic, rebuilt Mustang.

  Also for the first time ever, not only do I have a boyfriend on V-day, but so do all of my best friends. Although, Shane's is still a secret. I'm the only person who knows about him and Johnny. Luckily, Sid has been so distracted with Simon she hasn't really noticed how much time Shane and Johnny have been spending together.

  I'm the first one at our lockers and still haven't seen Todd, which is good because I was able to successfully sneak his gift into his locker. My heart is pounding at the thought of his smile when he finds my gift. I look up and see Sidney's locker. You can't miss it; it looks incredible. Simon, being the artist he is, has covered it in paper and spray painted her name in hearts. It looks more like something you'd see on the side of a building in the city rather than in a school hallway. My admiration is interrupted by a high-pitched squeal.

  "O-M-G! It's amazing!"

  I think the entire school heard her. "Hey, Sid."

  "How…? When…? Amazing," Sid says in what looks like a catatonic state as she stares straight ahead with her mouth agape. I think she might be in shock. It's rare for Sid to be speechless; well, one-word sentences is basically speechless for Sid.

  "Yeah it's incredible." I really am excited for her; I'm just a little disappointed Todd hasn't walked up with her. "Did you ride to school with Todd?"

  Her mood quickly changes from elated to deflated as she blinks for the first time. "Don't get me started. My brother woke me up at six a.m. this morning to tell me he had to go to school early so I had to find my own ride. Can you believe that? I mean, he could have told me last night, but noooo." She pauses as a million things run through my head.

  Why would he need to come early? Why didn't he say anything to me, either? And if he's here, why haven't I seen him yet?

  "So I called Simon and he said his mom could take me, and when she picked me up, it was just her. No Simon. So I got to ride to school with just me and Simon's mom on Valentine's Day. Me and my boyfriend's mom, how romantic!"

  I'm trying really hard not to laugh, really hard. "Where was Simon?" I ask carefully without trying to even break a smile.

  "I have no idea, but now that I see this…." She gestures to her locker and a smile spreads across her face. "This must have been what he was doing." It looks like a light has suddenly clicked and Simon is definitely forgiven. "Simon must have come to school with Todd." Her eyes dart to my locker and confusion washes back over her face. "But wait—"

  "Wait, what?"

  "Um, your locker is, well, your locker."

  "Okaaay?"

  "I just mean it's the same as it always is. But wait, did you open it?"

  "Yup. Nothing different inside, either."

  "Hmmm." Sid is clearly in deep thought. "That's odd. Then where is Todd?"

  "Precisely what I was thinking." I look down the hallway toward his locker where I can see Ryan and Gretchen. She is dressed in a cute, sequin heart sweater that only she could pull off. Brian is down there talking to at least four different girls at once and even Blythe is already over there, looking amazing, as always. She's dressed in head-to-toe black, clearly as a statement. It's so stylishly put together it looks like she just walked off a runway, though. But there is no Todd. He has to go to his locker at some point? Right?

  "Hello, ladies. Nice, Sid."

  We both turn to see Shane walking up to join us, nodding in appreciation of Simon's artistic ability. As soon as he opens his locker, I see a smile spread across his face, and then he quickly grabs his books and closes the door so no one else can see inside.

  I give him a smile, knowing he doesn't want to talk about it with Sid here. Sid also notices his odd behavior, but instead of a smile, she gives him her signature head shake and eye roll.

  "What is it with everyone today?"

  Shane and I both laugh because it's the perfect out, and speaking of odd behavior, where is Todd?

  "I have to go find Simon to thank him." Sid gazes at her locker one more time in awe and then gives us both a quick squ'mile—that's a squeal and a smile all rolled into one. Sid's been doing this almost as much as the head shake, eye roll since she's been dating Simon.

  Once she's a safe distance away, I whisper, "What's in your locker?"

  "Drumsticks." Shane can't hide his smile, even though he's trying to play it cool.

  "So nice. Why don't you two just come out already?"

  Shane's smile quickly drops away as his eyes grow to twice their normal size. "Ash!" He's clearly shocked that I've just said that out loud in the middle of the hallway. He lowers his voice. "Not yet. I'm not ready."

  "What about Johnny?" I decide to whisper this time so Shane doesn't have a heart attack.

  "What about Johnny?" We both turn to see him standing right behind Shane. Maybe Shane is right; I do need to be more careful. I always thought he was just paranoid.

  Johnny really is good looking. I see girls blatantly checking him out as they pass him in the hall. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard “hi, Johnny" with a giggle attached to it, I'd be a rich girl.

  "Ashley was just asking how you felt about secrets," Shane says, and by his smile, Johnny knows exactly what he's talking about.

  "Oh, I think secrets can be dangerous, but I understand why some people want to keep them. I'm ready when he's ready." Johnny nudges Shane in the arm playfully, but to anyone else, it would seem innocent.

  "Really? Wow." I know Johnny has even more to lose by coming out than Shane since he's the back-up quarterback on the football team. Our school is pretty open; however, it's sort of a double standard for athletes. I'm not sure what the locker room would be like for him once it's public knowledge.

  "Nice gift, by the way." I make sure my voice is barely audible this time for sure.

  Johnny gives Shane such a genuine smile. "You liked them?"

  Shane just shrugs and then smiles. "Loved them."

  "Ash, where's Todd?" Johnny notices he's not here or down
the hall.

  "Good question." I shrug and try to hide the anger that is starting to bubble up.

  ***

  I think I'm going through the six stages of denial or whatever it's called because the day I have been so excited for has turned into something completely different. I'm sitting in Homeroom, where everyone gets their VD's—Valentine Deliveries, not Venereal Disease. Although, when I didn't have a boyfriend, the similarity of the acronym brought me great pleasure. Oh, so glad you got a VD. Anyway, our student council has Valentine Deliveries where you can buy someone a rose or a balloon, and it's delivered to their homeroom class either with a note or anonymously.

  I see the door open and in walks at least twenty-five roses and three balloons. I make a silent deal with myself that, if I get something, Todd is forgiven for not coming to my locker or being anywhere in sight this morning.

  I see one of the "VD Girls" heading toward me, and I think, This is it; he's forgiven. Because not only is she holding a balloon, but there are three roses!

  I try to hide my smile. I have the best boyfriend! And then the VD Girl walks right past me and hands them to Cindy Miller sitting in the desk behind me. I feel my heart drop into my stomach and heat wash over my cheeks. I can't believe that I even let myself think they were actually for me. I'm starting to like Valentine's Day without a boyfriend better. At least then I had no expectations when Valentine Deliveries came into homeroom; I already knew I wasn't getting anything.

  Why do schools do this? Student Council is evil. It's yet another way to rub it in all the non-receivers faces: You are a loser. No one likes you.

  To make matters even worse, Cindy is going on and on about how surprised she is that Marc sent her something. "I mean, we just started dating!"

  I threw up a little.

  ***

  Lunch.

  Still no Todd. Here I sit, alone. Well, not exactly alone, everyone else is here, but you know what I mean. Gretchen is holding over a dozen roses and these aren't the kind that the Student Council is handing out. No, these are roses that Ryan had a florist deliver to her homeroom. How is that even possible? I mean, doesn't our school have security? Of course, Ryan figured out a way to do it.