Yorkshire

by Lynne Connolly

  “But, Lizzie, you know I was never good in the marriage market,” I protested.

  She looked up from her work. “I used to think so, but I’m not so sure now. Steven had a partiality for you, and now you’ve dropped him in favour of someone better. Really, my dear, you could have had much more choice if you had only waited.”

  “But I wouldn’t have fallen in love with any of them.”

  “Love!” She put as much scorn as she could muster into the word and applied herself to her work with great vigour, while I continued with mine more tranquilly. I felt very tranquil these days. “How long does love last?”

  “We are good friends.” I knew better than to argue. Lizzie had a low opinion of love.

  “That’s more like it. And,” she continued, pensively, “he is a leader of fashion. Though heaven knows what this affair will do to it.”

  “He’s still hopeful of bringing it off without scandal.”

  “How does he expect to work such a miracle?” Her needle flashed in and out of her work at a great pace.

  “He’ll talk to Miss Cartwright’s father when he takes her home next week. He says, apart from idolising his only daughter, the man is sensible. Once he understands the fault lies all on my lord’s side, he’ll see reason. Any other way will hurt Miss Cartwright, you see. He’s giving her the opportunity to cry off which is, after all, a perfectly proper thing for a young lady to do.”

  “From what I’ve heard he’s more likely to create a disturbance about it.” Lizzie worked for a few minutes in silence, tight lipped.

  “You know Mr. Drury is repeating the most scandalous gossip about your Lord Strang, don’t you?” Lizzie pushed the needle into the cloth, leaning forward conspiratorially.

  My heart sank. “What sort of gossip?”

  “He’s seduced a maid under this very roof.” Lizzie said with relish.

  “I don’t believe a word of it.” Not a maid, but me.

  Lizzie, met my gaze frankly “Neither do I. Oh, I don’t know your Lord Strang well enough to judge his character, but Steven was sweet on you. It’s probably some sort of revenge.”

  “James is going to send Steven away. Since James became Lord Hareton, Steven’s attentions have become increasingly uncomfortable. He seems to think I made him some promises. I swear to you, Lizzie, I did no such thing. I spoke to James and he’s finding Steven a comfortable living far away from here.”

  Lizzie looked up. “Was that your idea?”

  “R—Strang’s,” I told her.

  “Better than sending him home.”

  I put down one cloth and picked up another. I’d been doing plain sewing, but this looked more interesting—a cloth that had come unstitched on one corner. Quite an old one, from the look of the ladies embroidered on it. It would be difficult to match it with the bright modern silks at my disposal. I frowned over my work.

  “A charming scene,” came a voice from the door. Gervase bowed to us. “Delightful domesticity. I’ve come to take over from one of you ladies.”

  “Not quite the thing, sir,” Lizzie pointed out. “Can you sew?”

  “May I perhaps escort one of you in a short walk then? You must be in need of fresh air.”

  October grew old now, but since Lizzie had no desire to go out into the cold, I accepted Gervase’s offer with relief. At home in Devonshire I walked out every day, but the lack of proper gardens to walk in, and the multitude of tasks needing to be done indoors had prevented me from taking my usual exercise.

  Gervase waited while I fetched a cloak, hat and gloves. He gave me his arm as support, and took me to the little path we’d ridden down that first morning. “There’s very little space to walk or ride. I’ve taken my horse out on some mornings, but I fear we have our task to do, thanks to Strang.”

  I smiled up at him. “This is just what I needed. I’ve wanted a breath of fresh air all morning. It’s such a fine day.” Indeed, it was one of those cold, sunny days that remind one of the spring to come, or the summer just passed.

  “Yes.” He changed the subject abruptly. “I hope you don’t mind if I ask you a few questions. Do you really wish to marry my brother? No,” he said, as he saw my mouth open to reply, “don’t answer at once. He can be like a whirlwind, once he makes up his mind, scooping up everything and everyone in his path. I’ve seen it before. You should know he is autocratic, generous to a fault and loyal. He’s been the best of brothers to me, but I’ve seen him so bemuse others they’ve done precisely what he wants without consideration of their own wishes. If you have doubts, you may be sure they’ll go no further, unless you wish them to.” He glanced at me as we continued to stroll down the path.

  I knew my own mind. “No, sir. He swept me off my feet, as the saying goes, but I’m willing to be swept. I fell in love with him, Gervase. Although I felt completely confused and lost at first, I know I can trust him now.”

  Gervase smiled in relief. “I’m glad. I’ve not heard him laugh the way he does with you for a very long time. My mother said after I went away that she never heard him laugh again. For what my opinion’s worth, I’m sure he’s truly attached to you.” This confirmation from his brother, who knew him best, meant a great deal to me. “When I came back from India, he had hardened, lost the gentleness he had as a boy. I knew much of it was my fault. My dreadful scandal marked him so much he’d taken the guilt on himself. He tried to wreak his revenge on the society that rejected me by seducing and gambling his way through it, making his mark, making them pay.” He sighed. “I heard of his behaviour and I believe I was the only one who guessed its true significance. And of course, we missed each other. We’d never been apart for such a significant length of time before. Our parents never forbade communication, so we wrote a great deal but apart from a brief meeting in Rome at the beginning of my exile, we didn’t see each other until I came home last year. When I first saw him in all his society glory, I hardly recognised him. It nearly broke my heart. If it hadn’t been broken already. I thought I’d lost him until we arrived here at the Abbey.”

  I didn’t know what to reply to this, but no answer seemed to be required. We paused. A bird sang in the silence “I’ve something to say to you, ma’am. I beg you’ll hear it through and think hard about it.” He stopped walking, turning to face me. I looked up at him. “I’d like to offer you my hand in marriage.”

  I gaped, something I hadn’t done since I was a small girl. Would these brothers never fail to astonish? I couldn’t speak for the thoughts racing through my head. Was Gervase in love with me, too? He’d never shown any sign, but some men don’t.

  “Let me explain. I’ll tell you the whole, if I may.” I nodded, still beyond speech. “Ten years ago, I created such a scandal it will probably never be forgotten, although it seems to have been forgiven. I fell in love with someone so unsuitable, and did it so openly people still talk about it when they see me. I eventually left the country for the Continent, as you have no doubt heard.

  “We grew up with the Boughtons. Their land marched with ours. Until they sold their property afterwards, they were our best friends. I slowly came to realise my feelings were more than affection. When they were reciprocated, my joy was, unfortunately, unconfined. We barely lived through the scandal. Scandal isn’t just a social affair, it causes business relationships to falter, alliances with other families to fall and my father had to work hard to restore our reputation.” I nodded. The effects in our local society could be as devastating, and scandals from a generation or so back were still remembered. “Believe me, ma’am, when our father gets wind of Richard’s plans, he’ll be incandescent with rage. You’ll be able to hear his wrath over five counties. I think that’s why Miss Cartwright is so stubborn. She believes Richard will give way under that rage, but I’m afraid she doesn’t know Richard. He won’t.”

  I felt apprehensive. I hated shouting and upsets. Not timidly, I would face what I had to but they made me physically unwell. “Also, our sister must be hurt by this. She’s just ha
d her come-out. Myself, I don’t think the scandal will be as great as all that. Richard may succeed in persuading Mr. Cartwright to do the proper thing, but you should know it could cause great hurt to someone I think you love. But the scandal I caused will add to the one Richard will cause if he refuses to marry Julia Cartwright while the contract between them is still in force.” A light breeze disturbed the fallen leaves, causing them to rattle against the dry earth and the path we stood on. Gervase came to the point, the real point, of his story. “You see, Miss Golightly, I didn’t elope with Lady Mary.” He swallowed. “I ran away with her husband, the boy I’d grown up with, Edward. I still love him, but we can never see each other again. They made him promise. He wasn’t strong enough to bear it.”

  My hand flew to my mouth involuntarily, but he spared me the necessity of speaking by carrying on with his story. He watched me as he spoke, his eyes wary. “They hushed it up, saying that I had run off with Lady Mary. She went into hiding at one of my father’s remoter estates where nobody knew her and they said Edward had pursued us abroad. Then they persuaded him to come back.” His voice broke and he looked away. I pressed his sleeve in sympathy and listened, but I said nothing to break his flow. He looked so distraught that my heart went out to him.

  Gervase cleared his throat. He must have gone over this tragedy over and over in his mind and he might be able to control it more readily, but he still faltered. I hadn’t realised, hadn’t even suspected, but it explained so much when I thought about it. That was why the old scandal was still so potent. It also explained why Richard wore that hard carapace over his sensitive nature. He must have grown it very quickly. Even his heavy maquillage would have served to hide his true feelings, making it easier for him to face people after Gervase had inadvertently done such a terrible thing to his brother.

  “I’m telling you this because you have a right to know, but also to make you understand that you have nothing to fear from me. If you marry me, you’ll still be Richard’s, still see him as much as you wish. He won’t go near Julia if he’s compelled to marry her. If she keeps him to the contract, he’ll go insane if he has to lose you. Probably return to the old Richard, the uncaring, restless one with no heart. He’ll kill himself with debauchery. I can’t watch that without trying to help. I owe him happiness and I want to see him achieve it.” He forced a smile. “I’ve money enough for ten lifetimes, and we like each other, do we not?”

  The power of speech returned to me. “And are you still of the same—inclination, sir?”

  He laughed at my hesitation. “I’m afraid so, but much more discreet these days, of course. The problem is, everybody knows it. It’s not said to my face, which is much more hurtful, you know, than if they pointed and sneered directly.”

  “Why should they? What has it to do with them?” This new information didn’t affect my liking for Gervase at all. It made me angry on his behalf.

  He smiled at me, looking so like his brother, but not possessing Richard’s special qualities. “Nothing at all, dear ma’am. One solution is for me to find a complacent wife—one who wouldn’t expect me to perform the impossible. Then there’s the heir. Richard has taken such a dislike to Miss Cartwright, even if he’s forced to marry her, it’s unlikely he would ever consummate the marriage.” I shuddered at the thought and what it would mean to him. “If you and he were…forgive me…intimate, the heir could still appear. Otherwise, the title passes out of the immediate family.”

  Gervase would acknowledge the child and it would be the legitimate heir. If Richard’s marriage to Julia remained childless, any child Gervase and I produced would inherit. I began to see what Gervase meant, but the necessity for lifelong subterfuge made my heart weigh heavy in my chest. Still, it would be better than nothing, better than watching him kill himself with excess, better than watching him with another woman, or a plethora of them. “Would Richard agree to this?”

  “He may have no choice. He’s signed the contract and they’re due to be married soon. After this visit, he is expected to return to our family seat at Eyton and settle a date. One of the main cards in his hand is that our father wants an heir, and it’s obvious he won’t get one from me. So if Richard refuses to consummate a marriage to a woman not of his choosing and holds out for you, he could win our father over. We would still face a scandal but our father’s support would help to overcome it. But it’s Richard’s only chance. Please think of my offer. It’s an answer of a sort. If you need it, come to me. Will you promise me that?”

  I had to think of the practical. “I will promise to come to you if I’m hurt, if it becomes too much to bear. For the rest, I must think about it. Should we keep this from him?”

  “I think so, for the time being. I’ve thought it might make him easier in his mind, but I’m not sure. It might make him extremely angry.” I thought that, too. Richard refused to consider any alternative to marrying me but my more cautious nature demanded other courses and this was the best one I’d heard, so far.

  Gervase had made me think of the other people involved in this mess, Richard’s sister, his parents, Lizzie, James and Martha, even Miss Cartwright’s family. It would be too selfish of us to cause hurt to them. I wouldn’t feel easy if we did this and all those other people suffered.

  Gervase offered a bizarre solution, but it offered a chance to avoid too much hurt to too many people. As to my own feelings about Gervase, I still considered him a kind, gentle and amusing friend. His preferences were his own business. If I married him, I need never know much about them, as long as he was discreet.

  With a heavy heart, I had to agree that my marriage to Richard, which we both desired so dearly, might not be possible after all. I thanked Gervase for his concern. “It might work. I promise I’ll think about it.”

  He smiled to reassure me. He saw my distress, despite the pain of recalling his story. “Don’t be so downcast. Matters might never come to this.”

  I laughed, despite my hurt. “Please don’t think me rude, sir—”

  “Gervase, remember. Brother-in-law, husband or friend, but just Gervase.”

  “Gervase. I love Richard with all my heart. I’m still taken aback, confused, but I want him very much. I’m saddened to think I might not achieve my heart’s desire, but many people don’t, do they?” He smiled wryly. “Thank you very much for your offer. I promise, I will bear it in mind.”

  We went in. He’d brought me back to the earth I should never have left.

  Chapter Nineteen

  We watched the room for the next two days, but nothing out of the ordinary happened. Lady Hareton and her father spent all their time there, reading, sewing and waiting, as the minister put it, until his leg should be well enough for God to reveal His word. She did everything for her father. She fetched, carried and sewed, and the sewing she kept herself busy with was invariably one of his shirts.

  Pritheroe tyrannised his daughter completely. He constantly reminded her of her duty. Rather than behaving like a mature, sensible woman, she bowed her head, saying, “Yes, Father.” It was painful to watch. If the obeisance had been less pronounced, if he’d left her some dignity, given her private time of her own, it would have been better. Now she had no husband to order her, he treated her as though she was back under his jurisdiction.

  Lizzie and Gervase made it difficult for Richard and me to have more than a few moments together. My feelings for him were the same, would never, ever change, and I still determined to have him, one way or another.

  We snatched a rare half hour together on the second afternoon. I tried to tell him how I felt.

  “You may have to marry Miss Cartwright. A breach of promise suit could bankrupt your family and drive them into disgrace.” He looked at me, solemnly, but said nothing. “I want you. I can’t give you up now. I’d be happy to become your mistress, to retire from society, if that would provide an answer. James can disown me, and distance himself from my disgrace.”

  “I can’t believe you said that. No one has sh
own me such generosity before.” He slipped his arm about my shoulders and gave me a gentle kiss. “But it won’t answer, my love. I don’t want you just in my bed, but in my life. I want you as a friend and partner, not merely a bed companion. My dearest love, I don’t want to embarrass you, but you know some women in certain parts of most cities are cheap. When one seeks a certain sort of relief, one body is very much like another, so long as it’s clean. If that was all I wanted, I could find relief somewhere, but I don’t want that. I want you. You have something they don’t have, something none of the society women I’ve—known—possess. You’re the only woman I want in my life, associated with me and my name. I won’t marry Julia. If you come abroad with me, it will be difficult for her to pursue a suit against me. My family will be spared the worst of it.”

  I took his hand, thinking of my conversation with his brother. “I trust you. I love you,” I said, but I could make no promises other than personal ones.

  “I hear Gervase has spoken to you.” I stiffened in his arms and he looked at me in concern. “Does it give you a dislike of him? I hope not, but many people do feel that way.”

  I relaxed. “No—nothing like that. I like him very much.” I would keep Gervase’s counsel and not tell Richard about his brother’s astonishing proposal.

  “My parents expended much time and money to keep the whole truth out of the public domain.” His face froze. He held me loosely, as if he’d left me and gone somewhere else. “Yes, it was difficult, but it happened twelve years ago. Society has taken Gervase back to its viperous bosom. Being fabulously wealthy helps, of course.”

  “Is he really so rich?”

  “Enormously rich. My brother could give Croesus odds. The strong and clever can make fortunes in India. Gervase had also lost his heart, so that helped him too, as he had no distractions. You’ll be marrying the pauper in the family, my love, the poor brother left behind to look after family affairs. Sometimes I think I should have followed him, but my father was so set on one of his sons marrying and begetting he wouldn’t hear of it. Perhaps we will travel, now.”