Mind Games: An Urban Fantasy Novel (The Lillim Callina Chronicles Book 6)

by J. A. Cipriano

  Strangely, I actually believed him. I couldn’t tell you why, but something about him felt more real, more solid than most of the other people I’d seen or heard.

  “How can you help me?” I asked, and as I said the words, the shrill cry of the fire alarm shattered my hearing. I turned toward the sound, my ears throbbing as the substitute grunted next to me.

  I spun back toward him, but he was gone. I stared at the spot he’d occupied only a second before, flabbergasted. Where had he gone? Before I could look further, someone grabbed my arm, and tugged me out from behind the teacher’s desk.

  Ian had me by the bicep, a strange look on his face as he moved us toward the exit, his hands ice cold and viselike. I had half a mind to try to resist as he pulled me through the crowd of students trying to get through the door, but this was my chance to ask him some questions. If only I knew what those questions were.

  He leaned his head close to my ear. “Why were you staring at me?” he whispered, and his voice was like the wind heralding a winter storm.

  “I had a dream about you,” I replied before I could help it.

  He stared at me for a long time, various thoughts running through his brain, and though I didn’t know why, I got the impression none of them were, “this girl is nuts.”

  “Okay,” he said, pulling me through the throng of people and jerking me out of the tide of bodies heading out toward the black top. Already lines were starting to form in the parking lot, presumably to make sure everyone actually showed up. I had the sudden, near-overwhelming urge to join them but fought it off. Something strange was going on, only I wasn’t quite sure what it was.

  “You don’t think it’s weird that I dreamt about you?” I asked, and he stared at me for a long time before answering.

  “I dreamt about you too. I just didn’t know it was you.” He waved one hand at me. “You’re dressed a lot more conservatively now.” He said it totally deadpan, and though his eyes didn’t leave my face, I had the sudden urge to cover myself.

  “I was wearing snakeskin, wasn’t I?” I asked, my cheeks aflame.

  “Yes. You spoke, and I couldn’t do anything under the force of your gaze.” He glared at me for a moment. “Something is wrong. I keep doing things and finding myself in random places. It’s like home, but it isn’t.”

  “I know the feeling.” I nodded to him as I glanced down at all the little people in their orderly little rows. Only they were a little too neat. “They were calling you Famine. Do you know why?”

  “No,” he replied. “But I’ve got a feeling it isn’t good.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly through his teeth. “Did you see the teacher vanish?”

  “No. I just turned around and he was gone,” I said as he followed my gaze down to all the kids lined up below.

  “And no one thought it was weird. They just raced downstairs to line up when the alarm sounded.” He shook his head. “Even drilled firefighters aren’t as efficient as those kids were. It was like watching ants under the control of a queen.”

  “So why are you different?” I asked, and he turned toward me.

  “I could ask you the same thing,” he replied, brushing his blond hair out of his face. “See, here’s the thing. I have friends I’ve known for years, and when I talk to them, it’s like talking to someone who isn’t my friend. Oh, they look like my friends and speak like them, but I can tell.”

  “I know the feeling. My dad let me drink a hard lemonade and didn’t even say a word about it,” I said, and Ian smiled at me, his lips cracking into the barest flash of teeth.

  He looked like he was about to reply but instead, pressed something into my hand and started walking away from me. I looked up to see Charlie coming toward us, a strange look of determination on his face. I waved to Charlie. He waved back somewhat disjointedly as Ian moved past him and our classroom without so much as another word. I guess he was ditching.

  Charlie didn’t even look at Ian as he came up to me, which struck me as a little odd, although I didn’t know why. Still, Ian had a point. Charlie was acting weird, and while I didn’t know him in this world as well as I did in the world of the Dioscuri, his actions seemed strange even held against the barometer of a normal teenaged boy.

  “I missed you in the line,” Charlie said, his voice full of semi-genuine concern. Behind him, I could see other students coming, filing into their classrooms like the dutiful automations they seemed to be. The sight of it made me shiver. Something was definitely off.

  “Yeah, I got distracted by all the stairs and wasn’t sure where to go. I asked that boy for help,” I pointed at Ian, “but he was just a jerk and blew me off.”

  Charlie seemed to relax at my words. He swept his arm around my waist and pulled me forward. “Well, I’ll keep you safe, don’t you worry your little head.”

  I put my forehead against his shoulder, using the movement to shield myself from his prying eyes. “What would I do without you?” I replied, stealing a glance into my hand. I was holding a piece of ice in the shape of a butterfly. The creature’s wings twitched in the palm of my hand as it got to its feet and fluttered away.

  Chapter 9

  The rest of the day raced by in a blur of color and sound I couldn’t quite remember or keep track of effectively. Whether that was because time was disjointed or because I was crazy and distracted by the frozen butterfly remained to be seen. Hell, for all I knew, my mind had made up the butterfly and even the whole encounter. That was the problem with potentially being insane. This could be real and everything, no matter how crazy, could just be my brain processing things incorrectly. But still…

  Something was wrong. I knew it to be true, knew it with the core of my being, but as I tried to figure it out, I found myself unable to clear the fog from my brain. It was like having the answer on the tip of my tongue but being incapable of actually remembering what I wanted to say.

  I paced back and forth in front of my high school, waiting for my mom. She hadn’t arrived, but I honestly wasn’t sure if I wanted to see her. I had half a mind to try to run away, just to figure out what was going on, but it seemed like a poor idea. If this was all fake, and I was growing more and more sure of it by the moment, I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible.

  It didn’t make sense because she was probably an illusion perpetrated by the world, but well, I’m not sure how to explain it. My mom was dead, at least I was pretty sure she was dead, but seeing her alive and well made it easy to forget. Which was probably why she was here. As long as I kept second guessing myself, kept wanting this world to be real, whatever was controlling me would keep its slimy grip on my body. I knew this, and yet, I wasn’t sure I was ready to return to a world where she was dead and gone.

  That said nothing of the actions of the mysterious white man who kept appearing. I had half a mind to write him off as a weird delusion, but Ian had seen him too. I shook my head in frustration. Ian could be made up as well. Maybe everything was made up?

  What I needed to do was find Ian and have a more pointed conversation with him. Yeah, that was exactly what I needed to do. Well, that and remember what the man’s name was. You know, assuming he wasn’t a delusion caused by my broken brain. It was enough to make me wish I had some kind of litmus test for reality. The problem with that was any litmus test would be bogus if something was trying to make me think I was crazy. It could just manipulate the data as it saw fit.

  Without realizing what I was doing, I had walked off of campus. I was on one of the large main streets leading toward the center of town. How was that possible? I’d barely made the decision to do anything and suddenly I found myself miles away from my high school. How had I crossed so much distance so quickly?

  I spun in a slow circle, my heart hammering in my chest as I realized I had no idea where I was. Cars raced by on the street, not paying much attention to me. The most generic houses I’ve ever seen were plastered along either side of the road. It looked like the same three houses built over
and over. It was either the world’s most boring housing tract or whoever was manufacturing my dream world couldn’t be bothered for more than three unique building designs. Sadly, in this particular case, I was inclined to believe the first reason.

  “This isn’t good,” I muttered to myself. I had been waiting for my mother. Now I was lost and had no idea how to get back to her. I spun on my feet, fear rampaging through me as I headed back down the other way, moving as quickly as I could.

  Houses flew by me as I ran in the opposite direction I had come, but after a few minutes, I still hadn’t reached the school. Hell, I didn’t even see it. Ticky tacky houses stretched out in every direction and tears of frustration, fear, and failure tugged at my eyes. What was I going to do?

  No, I wasn’t going to cry. I wasn’t just some helpless crazy girl. I was Lillim Callina, damn it. Even if I wasn’t a real Dragonslayer, even if I was just a little girl with a broken mind, I was not going to cry over being lost. I just wasn’t. At least, not yet.

  “Last night I had a dream.” The sound of the substitute’s voice shook me to my core, and I whirled around to see him standing there beside a parked car the color of freshly spilled blood. He smirked at me and held his hands out toward me. “It was dark as night, so black, not even the stars shined.” He took a step toward me, and as he moved darkness seemed to wrap around his pale flesh, so it was like he wore a suit of shadow and ink.

  “Who are you?” I asked, taking an unconscious step backward. Some part of me knew I shouldn’t be afraid, knew that, somehow, this person was a friend, an ally, but looking at him wrapped in the writhing night, I couldn’t help the fear settling over me like a thick blanket.

  “I cannot say. When I speak my name, he hears me and comes to intervene. You must remember on your own.” He shook his head. “Only then can I properly help you. Even now, he is drawing out my essence, using it to feed his own power.” He let out an explosion of breath. “I won’t be able to hold him back for much longer, Lillim. Even I have my limits.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked, edging backward again. My foot came off the edge of the curb, and I fell. I hit the road hard on my butt, and as pain shot through my tailbone, a screech of tires whistled through my ears.

  I swung my head toward the sound to see a tan station wagon barreling toward me in a squeal of burning rubber. Smoke poured from the tires, but it wouldn’t matter. The vehicle was moving way too fast to stop itself from turning me into roadkill. I tried to get up, tried to get out of the way, but my limbs felt like lead, and my reactions were as slow as molasses.

  The milk white man leapt in front of the car, throwing his shoulder down and out as the station wagon struck him. It broke, actually bent in his shape as darkness exploded out of him, engulfing the vehicle in a heartbeat and flinging it end over end into the car behind it. They collided in a shriek of tortured steel before both vanished into wisps of pale gray smoke.

  The man spun toward me, golden blood dripping from his lips as he staggered a step. His entire side looked punched in, reminding me of a crumpled tin can. “Lillim,” he sputtered, lips spraying golden spittle from his mouth as he spoke. “You must remember the truth.”

  “And what’s the truth?” I called as he faded before my eyes, becoming almost completely transparent before I even finished speaking.

  “That you are Dioscu—” He disappeared, leaving me sitting there in the empty street like an idiot.

  I wasn’t sure how long I remained there, completely immobile, but it must have been awhile because by the time I got to my feet it was nighttime. It was a little weird because no one had even stopped to see if I or the people in the cars were okay. I looked back toward the scene of the accident. The cars were gone, just gone.

  Had I somehow imagined the whole thing? No, that was impossible. Right? I swallowed, my wrists aching as I got myself back onto the sidewalk. Cars continued racing by, completely oblivious to my existence. The streetlight overhead cast some light on the street, but it was still dark enough for a twinge of fear rise up in my gut and threaten to strangle me.

  “What am I going to do?” I asked no one in particular as my mom’s green Honda pulled up in front of me and slid to a stop.

  “Lillim! What the hell are you doing out here in the middle of the night?!” my father called through the passenger window. Both my parents were seated inside the car looking none too pleased. “We’ve been looking for you for hours!”

  “You have?” I asked, not sure how that was possible. I’d just left school minutes ago, but then again, it was nighttime. Had I dazed the whole time and imagined everything? Surely, I had because there were no broken cars. Still, how could I have lost so many hours without remembering?

  “Yes!” my mother snapped, the anger in her voice making me shiver. “We were supposed to have a nice night, but instead.” She gripped the steering wheel so tightly, her knuckles were nearly white. “Instead, we’ve spent the entire night out here driving around looking for you.”

  My father exited the car before I could say a word and grabbed me by the arm. Not hard per se, but enough to show me he was angry, though he did a better job of hiding it than my mother did. “Get in the car,” he said in a voice so low it made my knees weak.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered as I was pushed into the back seat.

  “You’re sorry?” my mother asked incredulously. “You wander off from school without a word…” She paused, taking a moment to calm herself, and I wondered if she was counting in her head because she shut her eyes and her lips moved, but no sound came out. She opened her eyes and turned in her seat to look at me. The anguish stretched across her face nearly broke my heart. I’d hurt her, but how could I do that if she wasn’t real? “Lillim, I know we haven’t brought it up, but you can’t just wander off. It’s not safe. You could get hurt.”

  I looked down at my hands cradled in my lap. “I didn’t mean to wander off,” I said, swallowing back the dirty, traitorous tears threatening to spill out of my eyes and run down my cheeks like a river. “I was waiting for you, and the next thing I knew, I was here.” I gestured lamely outside.

  “You wandered off without realizing it?” my father asked, concern evident in his features.

  “Yes,” I squeaked, but I wasn’t sure how audible it was.

  “I knew this was too soon,” my father said, turning to look at my mother. “I said this might happen.”

  Instead of replying, my mother stared straight at me for so long, the silence in the car nearly became a living, breathing thing. It made me feel like the worst person in the world, not just for ruining everything, but disappointing them too.

  “Maybe we should go see Dr. Emile tomorrow,” she said, turning back around and putting the car into gear before pulling away from the curb.

  “Do you have the sick time for that?” I asked, suddenly feeling horrible because I was going to make her miss work again. I still wasn’t quite sure what she did for a living, but even still, she’d been back, what, a couple days? What kind of daughter does that? Not a good one, that’s for sure.

  “No, but I’ll figure something out,” my mother replied, and my dad put his hand on her knee.

  “I’ll take her,” he said, glancing at me. “I’ll just go in afterward.”

  “Will that be okay?” my mother asked. “Don’t you have that big presentation every Wednesday?”

  “I’ll make do,” he replied with a shrug. “Some things are more important than work.” And with those words, he made me feel lower than slime for thinking he wasn’t real. How could he not be after all? They had found me sitting in the street all by myself in a place I didn’t remember walking to. Sure, there had been the milk white man and the car accident, but where were the cars? As much as I wished it wasn’t true, there wasn’t any evidence that it wasn’t just a hallucination.

  No, I needed to try way harder to ignore the delusions encroaching on my reality. It was the only way. If I didn’t, well, I didn’t w
ant to think about that.

  Chapter 10

  “Lillim, are you hungry?” my mom asked. She stood in my doorway with a plate in one hand. She’d already changed for bed and was wearing an oversized white t-shirt with a kitten on it. The shirt hung down to mid-thigh, nearly concealing the pair of blue shorts beneath.

  “No,” I replied, not even bothering to get up from my bed. I looked back at the ceiling, staring at the glow in the dark stars stuck up there. They weren’t glowing because the light was on, but that didn’t matter. I was still too embarrassed about getting myself lost all night. I’d caused everyone to miss dinner, which was sad because even though it was just going to be us sitting at home making pizza, I was upset I’d missed it.

  Real or not, I’d never actually done something like that with my parents, or at least, I had no memory of the event if it had occurred. Nearly all of my memories centered on training to fight monsters, fighting monsters, and killing said monsters. It would be a lie to say I missed all the horror and blood, but at the same time, it had been my life. If someone had stolen that from me, I wanted it back, darkness and all.

  “Are you sure?” she asked, sidling into my room uninvited and sitting down next to me on the bed, but the mattress was so firm, I barely even felt it.

  “Yes,” I replied, looking away from her even though it was a bratty thing to do.

  “Even if it is for chocolate peanut butter cookies?” she asked, setting the white plate down on the bed next to my head.

  I glanced at her, taking in her devious smirk, before fixing my eyes upon the plate. Two cookies sat upon it, all full of melted chocolate goodness. Just the sight of them was enough to make my stomach rumble audibly.

  “You’re the devil,” I said, reaching out and snagging a cookie. “How dare you force me to eat cookies?”

  She patted my thigh with her hand. “That’s my job.” And with those words, she kissed me on the forehead. “I love you, Lillim. Never forget that.” She stood and walked toward the door, but when she reached it, she turned and looked at me. “Don’t feel bad about what happened. It’s not your fault.”