The Exile's Curse
Page 9
"You are also a peer of my empire," Aristides said. "Which means our relationship is slightly different to the way it was before. Truth Seekers may be deployed as I wish, true, but I have duty to your people not to deprive them of their lord unnecessarily. They are my people, too, Lucien. Do not forget that part. I want them to prosper as much as you do."
He hadn't thought of it in exactly that way before. Or realized that the emperor viewed him differently now. They'd spoken immediately after his father died, but it hadn't been spelled out in so many words. Or maybe it had and Lucien had been too caught up in the fog of grief and sudden unexpected responsibility to understand. "Thank you, Your Imperial Majesty."
"Good, that is settled. You will be given more details as we have them." Aristides paused as though considering something. "On another matter, you are aware that Chloe de Montesse has returned to our shores?"
Goddess, was the emperor determined to hit him everywhere he was vulnerable today? He gritted his teeth, willing his voice to indifference. "Yes, Your Imperial Majesty."
"You understand what it means?"
That he was damned and making a fool of himself at every turn? That maybe two months away might be exactly what was needed? "That it may stir up old memories? Yes." Charl had been guilty of treason, but he hadn't named all his co-conspirators in the matter. Hadn’t known them all as far as Lucien had been able to determine. Nor had the other men condemned with him. Whoever organized the plot had been cunning enough to hide themselves. If any of them were still alive and still had ambitions of that nature, Chloe would possibly be a rallying point or a reminder. Or a symbol.
"Exactly. So we will be careful. I would prefer that she is not caused further distress in this matter."
"So would I."
Aristides regarded him steadily. "You were friends with her and her husband, I recall."
"Yes."
"You were also the one who took her husband's confession? And informed her of his admission of guilt?"
Why was he asking when he knew the answer very well? The man had a mind like a steel trap. He forgot very little. Definitely not the details of trials involving treason. "Yes, Your Imperial Majesty. I didn't tell her to flee to Anglion, if that is what you’re asking."
He had only wanted to warn her to perhaps put herself out of sight for a few months so Charl's co-conspirators couldn't reach her if they tried. He still regretted that he had bungled that message and Chloe had fled.
"I cannot imagine that you did," Aristides said. "My apologies, my lord Truth Seeker, if I am causing you pain. Lady de Montesse—"
"She prefers Madame de Montesse," he said automatically. "Charl didn't use his title." It had only been a minor one, after all. His uncle had died without heirs, and Charl's father had become the marq not long after Charl and Chloe wed, but his older brother was the heir.
One of Aristides's dark brows lifted. "That does not change the fact that she is entitled to use it. I know she used ‘Madame’ in Anglion, but she is home now. Perhaps you and Lady de Montesse will be able to find some degree of friendship again."
"I don't expect so, Your Imperial Majesty. I condemned her husband. I can only imagine she loathes me." He wasn't going to tell Aristides that he had already seen Chloe and knew that to be fact. Not if Aristides didn't bring it up. He owed his emperor his loyalty, but he didn't see what his feelings about Chloe or hers for him had to do with that.
Aristides watched him with serious gray eyes, and Lucien tried not to look away. The man had an uncanny way of making Lucien feel like he was talking to his father. More than twenty years reigning as emperor added gravitas beyond his actual years.
"A difficult situation," Aristides said eventually. "But perhaps there can be a better outcome than you anticipate. People change with time. And they have a remarkable capacity for forgiveness. Or some of them do," he added.
Lucien didn't think Chloe did. Why should she forgive him? Some things were unforgivable.
"But, of course, this is a matter for the two of you to navigate. So let us return to Andalyssia. Do you have questions?" Aristides asked.
Lucien straightened. Frankly, talking about Andalyssia with Aristides and contemplating a long and complicated journey to the frozen ends of the empire was more appealing than discussing Chloe. "Yes, Your Imperial Majesty. I have a few."
Chapter 8
"Lady de Montesse, please, sit," the emperor said, indicating the chair opposite his. He sat by a small table, where a porcelain tea service was laid out. A half-full cup sat by his right hand, the faint floral scent of the tea drifting through the air.
Chloe moved toward the chair. Imogene had worked fast. Two days after the ball and she had an audience with the emperor. It seemed impossible, and she wished Imogene had stayed with her instead of merely escorting her to the audience chamber so she had a friendly face to steady her nerves. But if she wanted to seize a new life for herself, then she had to seize this opportunity first.
She sat, smoothing her skirts into place. She'd worn one of her nicest Anglion gowns, a silk in so dark a green it was nearly black and held a little of the rainbow sheen that the Academe robes had. "I prefer Madame de Montesse," she said. Well, actually, she wasn't entirely sure she preferred being Madame de Montesse, but it was better than “lady.” She was used to it. In Anglion, she'd stuck to “Madame” to establish her widowhood and offer no clue as to her real social status. In Kingswell, “Madame” was exotic, adding a small dose of mystery to entice the curious into her store.
Aristides quirked an eyebrow. There were a few silver threads in his hair now, but they somehow only emphasized the authority in his steady gray gaze. "You are entitled to the title. You should use it. Imogene tells me that you wish to join the Imperial mages. Are you eager to leave home again so soon?"
She barely stopped the flinch. She'd rehearsed an answer to this question, expecting him to ask, but those words now sounded too practiced in her head. How to explain when she didn't entirely understand herself?
"Not eager, Your Imperial Majesty. But—" She broke off, frustrated. She curled her fingers into her palm, then clasped her hands so she wouldn’t fidget like a nervous child. "It is difficult to explain. I lost ten years of my life in Anglion. I survived them, yes, and even made a life for myself, but it wasn't the life I once wanted. And I am afraid that, if I do not take steps to see if some of those old dreams might still be mine, I will lose the courage to try."
Aristides blinked, lifted his teacup, and sipped before putting it down. It was a delicate thing, the porcelain almost translucent where it wasn't painted with tiny golden suns. The emperor's fingers held it gently, but she couldn't help thinking he could crush it with a careless squeeze.
"You have never struck me as someone who lacks courage. As you said, you achieved something most others in your place have not. You built a life for yourself in quite unfavorable circumstances." He poured tea into one of the empty cups and passed it to her.
"A life now left behind," she said, accepting the tea. "Which leaves me back where I began."
The emperor tilted his head. "When I was a child and my father was emperor, there was a man at court who had been there since my grandfather's time. A former Lord of the Faithless Isles. My grandfather brought him to Illvya when he conquered the Isles. One of the hostages, I suppose. Though those conditions were eventually revoked, I believe. I asked him once why he did not return home, and he said to me that exiles sometimes live under a curse of a kind. When I asked what kind of curse, and could a mage not fix it for him, he laughed at me. Not many people dared to laugh at me in those days. Not the young crown prince." He smiled somewhat ruefully. "When he stopped laughing, he told me the curse was not a magical one, just one imposed by life itself. And that the home he dreamed of, after so much time, lived only in his head. And that, if he returned, he was afraid he would lose even that, if he found his home had changed completely in the years he had spent in Lumia. Which it may well have done."
He nodded. "Yes. And I imagine you may have found some degree of change here. Enough to be unsettling."
His tone wasn't quite a question, but she found herself nodding anyway.
Damn the man, he was charismatic, if nothing else. But an emperor who couldn't learn to charm and convince people to do his bidding probably didn't last long. And Aristides had been emperor for twenty-odd years.
"Things are different," she admitted. "I am different, too. I cannot slot neatly back into life here. The life I left—" She stopped then, fearing she was straying into dangerous waters. "Well, I have to make a new life for myself. See who I will become. And besides, I have traveled little in the last ten years. Your empire is large, Your Imperial Majesty. I always wanted to see something of it."
He smiled over his teacup. "I can sympathize with that urge. I spend too much time in Illvya these days."
The emperor's family had cemented their control of the continent two generations ago. The wars were largely over and the empire ran smoothly, barring the odd snarl here and there.
Aristides ruled mostly through governors and ambassadors who represented him and operated alongside the governmental structures of the individual countries, be that nobility or clans or whatever system of rule they favored.
There were only a few places, like the Faithless Isles, where the existing governmental structures had been removed completely. Places where the wars for territory had been vicious and the treaties severe. But even those were mostly peaceful now. The diplomatic corps represented the emperor when necessary, and he seldom traveled far beyond Lumia’s borders. Select trips to the various reaches of the empire to be seen at intervals, but those were all pomp and ceremony, carefully planned and full of politics. A junior diplomat might have some freedom to explore a foreign land, but emperors didn't roam freely.
Not least because it put them in danger. Aristides was a target. He had been targeted here in Lumia and would be again. He would be targeted wherever he went.
"I do not wish to be chained to one place," she said. "Not so soon, anyway." Eventually she might want to settle down. She couldn't imagine getting married again. The young and eager Chloe who had said yes to Charl after a few short months seemed like a figure from a story, barely remembered. But a house of her own, work to do, friends, security. Those were all things she wanted.
But she couldn't settle with this itch under her skin, with this feeling that she didn't fit the old Chloe-shaped hole the city and her family wanted her to fill.
"I understand chains," he said. "I also understand responsibility. And duty."
She stiffened. Was he referring to Charl or merely to her family? "I would serve you well, Your Imperial Majesty."
"Ten years out of practice with your magic," he countered. "What makes you think you have the required skills?"
Another question she had anticipated. "I was near the top of my class at the Academe," she said. "And I have ten years of surviving in a country where most of my magic was taboo. Where I could have been put to death for using it. Where I arrived with very little. Yet I prospered. And rest assured, I did not completely abandon my powers in that time, Your Imperial Majesty. I believe I have every skill a diplomat requires. I know how to get along, how to learn a place fast, how to observe. How to be invisible when needed. And what magic I may have forgotten will come back quickly enough with a little study. I have access to excellent teachers. I am, after all, my father's daughter." She raised her chin.
Aristides nodded, then smiled. "Well argued." He considered her a moment. "Very well, Lady de Montesse. I will speak to General Vincent, and we will see what can be found for you."
She ignored his use of her title, too happy to be annoyed. She wanted to leap out of her seat and squeal with joy as she and Imogene might have when they'd been at school. But ten years in Anglion, watching her words and behavior near constantly to ensure she didn't make a fatal error, had taught her too well. She merely nodded with a smile and said, "Thank you, Your Imperial Majesty. I am most grateful."
He lifted his cup again, sipped, and put it down, dark eyes serious. "Of course, if you fail in whatever they set you to, I will not intervene on your behalf again. I do not second-guess my army."
She doubted that was true. At least not when push really came to shove. But she was not an empire-in-peril-level problem. When it came to her, he would, indeed, let her be shoved with no regret. "Of course, Your Imperial Majesty. I would expect no less."
The emperor worked even faster than Imogene. The invitation to attend the barracks and meet with representatives of the diplomatic corps came the next morning. Early. Before her father left for the Academe. His expression was sober as he handed her the envelope, his thumb rubbing over the unmistakable seal of the Imperial mages.
"Something to tell us?" he asked, glancing back over his shoulder toward the dining room where Ana was finishing her coffee whilst reading the morning's newsheet.
Chloe took the envelope, opened it neatly, scanned the paper within, then folded it all back up again and slipped it into the pocket of her skirt. She wasn't ready for her mother to know about this yet. But it seemed she was going to have to tell Henri. "I'm thinking of joining the mages," she said softly. She hadn't wanted to tell them until after her appointment with Aristides. Not until something actually came to fruition.
Henri was quiet a long moment. "Keen to leave us already?" His pale eyes were steady, but sadness lurked in their depths.
She sighed, heart twisting. "Papa, you know that’s not the case. But I have to make a life for myself again. This is something I always wanted to do, you know that. If...if what happened hadn't happened, I would have ended up trying to join the mages at some point." She and Charl had been frivolous and lighthearted for those first few years of their marriage, but she'd known deep down that she hadn't wanted children yet. She would have grown bored eventually, would have turned back to work and magic. But she hadn't had the chance. "Can’t you understand?"
He winced. "I do, darling. Your mother will be less easy. She has longed for you to be home."
"I am home. But that doesn't mean I can sit in the parlor doing embroidery all day. And I don't expect you and Mama to support me. I'm used to working. Used to making my own way. I need to do something."
"What corps?" Henri asked.
"Diplomatic," she said. "It's what I always wanted to do, the same as Imogene."
"Haven't you spent enough time in far-flung places?"
She lifted her hands in a helpless gesture. "I've spent time in one far-flung place that was hardly of my choosing. It's not the same thing. Surely you can see that? Is it wrong of me to want to see something of the empire?"
"No. It just feels...fast? You've only been back two weeks." His tone was wistful.
Chloe nodded. "I know. But it's not as though I would leave tomorrow, if they do decide to let me join. It was months and months before Imogene ever joined a mission. I'll have to do some training. And most of the missions given to junior officers aren't that long. You'll barely notice I'm gone before I'm back again." She hoped that would appease his concerns. Months sounded far too slow for her liking. Not that she could control the timeframes. But slow or not, she didn't want to hurt her parents more than she had to. "I need to know that I can go where I want, Papa. Anglion may have saved me, but I was trapped there. You don't know what that's like."
"You might be surprised," Henri said. "When you get older, when you have a family and obligations, it also narrows your choices."
"I understand that. But it's not the same. You and Mama could travel wherever you wanted. She's well enough now, and any Academe in the empire would be happy to offer you a job for whatever length of time you
chose. You have options. Choosing not to take them is not the same as not having them to begin with."
"You have options, too," Henri objected. "You can return to the Academe. Once you have your magic steady in your hand again, you could do anything."
"And what I want to do is this," she said, her temper sharpening. "At least, it's what my heart tells me to do. Maybe I'll hate it and I'll be out at the end of my first deployment. But regardless, I have to try. I love being back here, love spending time with you and Mama and the others, but it's not enough for me, Papa. You didn't raise me to be idle. And all that time in Anglion taught me to work, to be busy." If only to maintain her sanity. Throwing herself into the store and the fine details of running her business and making it successful had kept her mind occupied. Stopped her from thinking too hard about Illvya in the beginning, and then, as Anglion had started to feel more familiar and without any hint that she might return one day, the focus had been what she needed to feel whole.
She dipped her hand into her pocket, fingers rubbing the wax seal on the envelope. "I have to do this or I'll never know who I can be. I've had too many choices taken away from me already. I intend to drive my own fate from now on."
Henri sighed again. "I should have coddled you more," he said, one side of his mouth quirking. "Made you into one of those home-loving daughters."
She smiled. "Well, you didn't. And you can't change me now."
"I've never wanted to do that, darling. And I still don't. I only want you to be happy. And safe. But I know you’re sensible, so I will focus on the happy and ignore the portion which involves gadding about the empire."
"The empire is hardly a hotbed of danger now," Chloe said. "It's not like diplomats are sent home headless anymore. I'll be surrounded by soldiers. And mages. And sanctii." There were wild tales from the early days of history, when the emperors had still been building their empire. Back then, diplomacy had been a chancier venture. Now it was more focused on keeping things running smoothly. In truth, it was more the travel and going to other countries and seeing how people lived there that interested her over the actual diplomacy part. But she would take the less interesting parts to go with the challenge of being able to move around as she wanted.