The Rules of Love: A Lesbian Romance

by Cara Malone

  “Thanks,” Jessie said breathlessly, dropping Ellie’s hand to sign her in. Something strange and calm had come over her the moment the girl turned around, and the room didn’t feel so crowded and wild anymore. She was having a hard time looking away from the girl’s large, chestnut-colored eyes – it didn’t make any sense, but they were just so deep and emotive. “Umm, my name or my daughter’s name?”

  “Let’s see,” the girl said, taking the clipboard back and scanning over the list of names already written on the sign-in sheet. “I don’t know many dance moms named Zenith, so I think it’s supposed to be her name, not yours.”

  Jessie laughed as the girl handed the clipboard back, and Jessie was acutely aware of the fact that she was still standing pretty close and looking over her shoulder. She glanced at the girl, tall and lean with dark features that drew her in, then back down at the sign-in sheet as she wrote Elizabeth Cartwright.

  “Oh thank god,” the girl said with an exaggerated sigh, “I thought for sure you were going to write Zenith or Panasonic or something like that and then I’d be in trouble.”

  “Her middle name is Toshiba, if that makes you feel any better,” Jessie said with a smile, and Ellie smacked her thigh before she got to fully enjoy the smile that spread across the girl’s face.

  “No it isn’t, it’s Mae,” she said. “Come on, mommy, I’m going to be late.”

  “Thanks,” Jessie said to the girl, handing the clipboard back to her. She looked around and saw that the whole room had cleared out – when the hell had that happened? – and it was just the three of them. The other little girls and their mothers were all in the studio already, the gray-haired Mary Beth rushing down the hall and into the room to get class started.

  She shot a quick wink at Jessie or the girl at the desk, she couldn’t tell, and then boomed, “Okay, everyone, pop a squat in the middle of the room. Time to warm up!”

  “Come on,” Ellie said again, “they’re starting!”

  “Okay, okay, baby,” Jessie said, “We still have to get your shoes to stay on your feet! Sit down on that chair there and we’ll give it one more try.”

  She pulled a tiny pair of pink ballet shoes out of her coat pocket and knelt down in front of Ellie to put them on. She was looking over Jessie’s shoulder at all the kids stretching on the floor, and she was so eager to join them that she barely held still long enough for Jessie to catch her foot and shove one of the slippers over it. She was swinging her legs and bouncing in the seat, and Jessie wanted her to go to class just as much as Ellie did – if she burned off some of that raw energy, then maybe Jessie could squeeze in a rare nap this afternoon – but the damn shoes kept popping off every time Ellie wiggled her toes in them.

  “Sit still or you’re never gonna get to dance,” Jessie said, catching Ellie’s swinging foot again as she muttered to herself, “I don’t understand the problem here.”

  “Did they come with elastics?”

  “Huh?”

  The girl had been watching Jessie’s struggle from the counter and she asked again, “When you bought them, did they come with a pair of elastics?”

  “Oh,” Jessie said, “Yeah, they did. I didn’t know what to do with them and the shoes had this drawstring around the opening so I just figured they were extra, or a mistake or something.”

  “No,” the girl said with a laugh, “I hope you kept them because they’re kinda necessary.”

  “Figures,” Jessie said, and then the girl was crouching down in the narrow space between her and the reception desk. Their faces were less than ten inches apart, and her heart skipped a beat for no apparent reason as she looked back into those chestnut eyes.

  The girl turned to her daughter and said, “Elizabeth, right?”

  “Ellie.”

  “Ellie, do you mind if I help you with your shoes?”

  “No,” she said, and just like that all of the squirm and excess energy went out of her.

  Ellie held out her feet obediently for the girl, and Jessie handed over the ballet slippers. Her fingers brushed across the girl’s palm for a split second, and a light shiver ran through her that she did her best to immediately convince herself had been a gust of cool air from under the door, or something like that.

  “Hmm, for today I think you should let Mary Beth know that you guys had a little boo-boo with your shoes and ask her if it’s okay for you to dance in your tights just this once,” the girl said to Ellie. “No matter how tight we pull that drawstring, you’re just going to keep dancing right out of your shoes without those elastics.”

  “Sorry, Ellie,” Jessie said. “Mommy screwed up.”

  “It’s okay,” Ellie said. “Can I go in now?”

  “Yeah,” Jessie answered, “Go ahead, I’ll be right behind you. Be careful – don’t slip and fall in those tights!”

  Ellie burst out of the chair with her characteristic energy, putting her hands on Jessie and the girl’s shoulders and swinging herself between them before she bolted into the studio and found a spot on the floor with the other kids.

  “Hi, I’m Ellie,” Jessie could hear her saying to the girls around her, and she smiled and let herself rock backward to sit on the floor a moment. She could finally catch her breath.

  “That was dumb of me,” she said to the girl still crouching beside her. Working three part time jobs and the sleep deprivation that came along with them did a number on her logical thinking processes, but at least now that Ellie was in school she had time to bring in that extra money and get her things like dance lessons. She said with an apologetic shrug to the girl, “The box is on my kitchen table, and I’m pretty sure the elastics are still in it.”

  “No worries,” the girl said. “When you get home, you’re going to want to sew them in with a needle and thread – the reason they come separate like that is so you can custom fit them to Ellie’s feet. Have her wear the shoes and tighten the drawstring until it’s comfortable, then slide the elastics down the sides to line up with her arches. I usually pin mine in place, take the shoes off, and then sew them where I lined them up.”

  “Thanks,” Jessie said. “You’ve been really helpful.”

  “You wanna know the funny thing about that?” the girl asked.

  “What?”

  “I don’t even work here,” she said with a laugh. “I came in looking for a job and got thrown into something called a ‘practical interview’ which I think seemed more like desperation. You want to be my reference?”

  Jessie laughed and said, “Sure. I’m Jessie, by the way.”

  She extended her hand to the girl and in the second or two that it took her to reach over and take it, Jessie felt a million butterflies take flight in her stomach. She hadn’t felt this giddy since high school, and she had no idea what had come over her. She very nearly yanked her hand away, but it was too late, and the girl’s fingers were sliding over her hand and squeezing.

  Her heart skipped another beat.

  She told herself to stop being so ridiculous.

  The girl introduced herself as Melody, and Jessie liked the way her mouth moved as she said it. Her lips were so pink and her tongue glanced across her teeth on the lo sound, and Jessie had the sudden urge to try her name out in her own mouth.

  Instead, she said, “So you must be a dancer if you know this much about ballet slippers and you don’t even work here.”

  “Just a ballet enthusiast who wandered in off the street,” Melody said, cracking a smile to let Jessie know it was a joke. After a minute in which her face turned introspective and a little dark, she said, “Really, though, I was a dancer. Not anymore.”

  “What ha-”

  “MOM!” Jessie heard Ellie shriek from the studio, and she instantly turned hot pink in the cheeks. “Where are you?”

  It was a blessing and a curse to have such an extroverted and clingy child, and someday very soon she’d have to review the rules of etiquette with her – including the fact that it was not polite to screech in the middle of a
ballet lesson, classical music floating serenely through the background.

  For now, though, Jessie needed to get in there before Ellie shouted for her again. She got up from the floor and dusted glitter from her pants – the whole academy seemed to be covered in a fine layer of the stuff – then she said, “It was nice meeting you, Melody. Thanks again for your help.”

  “No problem,” Melody said, standing up and leaning on the counter. “I hope Ellie enjoys the class.”

  Jessie gave one more backward glance at Melody before she stepped into the room and found a seat along one wall with all the other parents. There was just something about her that Jessie couldn’t shake – something that could be dangerous if she allowed herself to dig deeper into the feeling.

  ***

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