Indulge

by Liv Morris

  By Friday, I’d had enough. “You’re suffocating me,” I sighed as we took our seats in calculus. “I know you mean well, but you need to lay off.”

  “I just want to make sure you’re okay,” he shrugged.

  “You know I’m playing in the game tonight, right?” I asked, reaching for his hand.

  “You’re doing what?” he raised his eyebrows.

  “I get to play tonight,” I smiled and squeezed his hand. “I’m feeling a lot better. Please be happy about this.”

  “Are you sure you’re ready?” he asked in a serious tone. “It’s been less than a week since you took that fall.”

  “I’m fine,” I tried to reassure him. “Trust me.”

  “Okay,” he sunk back into his seat. “You need to speak up if you need a break from the game, though.”

  “I will,” I replied. “Don’t worry.”

  The game was a lot harder than I had expected. I was winded after a few minutes of play and unable to keep up defensively like I wanted to. Seeing Ty’s disapproving look in the stands, I took his advice and asked my coach if I could take a break each quarter.

  By the fourth quarter, we had sealed our victory, and I was able to watch the remainder of the game from the bench.

  “I could kick that girl’s ass for doing this to me,” I complained as I cheered on our team with Lexy.

  “You know, I almost did,” she laughed. “One of the referees had to pull me off her.”

  “Good,” I smiled. “She deserved it. I can’t believe I’m still sore.”

  “You’ll be back to normal by next week,” she shrugged. “It’s hard being the best at something. It makes the other teams crazy.”

  Sitting next to Ty after the game, I attempted my best happy face while we cheered on the boys’ team.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  “Fine,” I lied. “I’m not that sore.”

  “Great.” He put his arm around me, causing me to cringe with pain. “There’s a field party tonight. Do you want to go?”

  I shook my head, knowing that Ty wanted to catch me in my lie. “How about we just watch a movie? I might be a little sore.”

  “That’s what I figured.” He kissed the side of my head. “You need to take it easy.”

  I leaned into him. “I really wish you didn’t know me so well.”

  “I know,” he smiled.

  ***

  On Saturday morning, I woke to find the one thing I had been missing decided to arrive. Flooded with relief, I couldn’t wait to tell Ty. He would be just as relieved as I was. Surprised to find that my muscles felt loose, I left my house behind for a morning jog. Seeing that Ty’s truck was gone when I turned the corner toward the Nevels’ house, I figured he must have stayed the night at Colton’s house.

  He had been distant this week, but also overly attentive to my every need. I was beyond excited to tell him that extreme amount of attention was no longer needed. I loved him, but he was beginning to smother me. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like if we actually had a child together.

  Turning the corner toward the park, I picked up speed as I ran around the small body of water. Late fall was my favorite time of year, and I smiled when I saw the sun peeking through the bright orange and yellow leaves that hung above me.

  I was still a little sore from the fall I had taken last weekend, but most of the pain was gone. I was grateful that I had only missed one basketball game due to the incident.

  Our coach had allowed me to play most of the game last night and I responded by scoring twenty-two points. I was pretty sure I had him convinced I was healed.

  Slowing my pace, I decided to walk the remainder of the way home. Running might not have been my best idea today as I felt pain shoot up my right side.

  Arriving back in my room, I looked at my cell phone to see I had one missed text message from Ty.

  Hey, babe…Going deer hunting with Colton…Wish me luck…

  I laughed at the thought of Ty sitting in a deer blind for an entire day. I wondered if he knew what he was getting himself into. I quickly typed back a text.

  Have fun! Good luck!

  Knowing I had the entire day to myself, I spent the morning taking a long bath and giving myself a manicure and pedicure. I also had time to spare for a nap and to catch up on an old Friends episodes before Ty would emerge from the muddy deer camp.

  Feeling a cold slap against my cheek, I sat up in my bed. Looking over, I saw Lexy smiling from ear to ear holding my melted ice pack.

  “You’re such a brat,” I moaned as I lay back down.

  “Get up.” she said as she jumped onto the bed. “We are having a party at my house, and I need your help.”

  “Why are you here so early?” I whined.

  “It’s 7:00!” she shrieked. “How long have you been asleep?”

  “Oh crap,” I sighed, looking at the clock. “I guess I was tired.”

  “Well, get up,” she said, slapping me with the ice pack again. “It’s party time.”

  “Fine,” I said as I rolled out of bed and walked toward my closet. “Are the boys still hunting?”

  “They finished a few hours ago.” Lexy followed me into the closet. “They’re meeting us at my house later.”

  Rummaging through my clothes, I decided on a pair of skinny purple jeans, a black sweater, and knee high black boots. Touching up my eye makeup and straightening my hair, I was ready within Lexy’s allotted time limit. I made a quick stop in the kitchen once I realized I hadn’t eaten since breakfast.

  “Hurry up, it’s almost 8:00!” Lexy exclaimed as she threw a bag of chips my way.

  “I’ll be way more fun if you let me eat something, trust me,” I said as I quickly made a sandwich. “Okay, let’s go.”

  We had her barn ready long before anyone arrived. Using our extra time wisely, Lexy and I decided to play a drinking game on our own. I felt I deserved a drink or two after the dramatic two weeks I had just been through.

  By the time people arrived, Lexy and I had consumed more than our fair share of beer and could barely talk to anyone without laughing.

  Looking toward the barn door, I saw that Ty and Colton had arrived. Rushing over and expecting a huge welcome kiss, I was surprised to see Ty’s jaw clenched.

  “Hey boys,” I laughed at Ty’s reaction. “Did you find Bambi?”

  “What the hell is this?” he asked as he grabbed the beer bottle from my hand.

  “I think it’s exactly what you need, so you can relax.” I wrapped my arms around his waist. “What took you so long?”

  “Are you drunk?” He pulled back my arms and looked into my eyes. “You are. How much have you had?”

  “A lot,” I laughed. “You should have been here to drink with me. It would have been more fun.”

  He leaned into my ear and whispered, “How the hell is this healthy for the baby? What are you thinking?”

  Looking away, I could see that everyone was watching us and trying to figure out why we were fighting.

  Without saying a word, I walked out of the barn door. Walking until we were far enough away so no one could hear us, I turned around. “I’m not pregnant, Ty. I started my period this morning.”

  “What?” He stopped walking, and placed his hand on the nearest truck. “When were you going to tell me?”

  “I was waiting to talk to you in person…” my voice trailed off. “This is the first time I’ve seen you today. I literally just found out this morning.”

  I could see the anger build in his eyes. “Dammit, Bailey! You should have called me the second you knew.”

  “I’m sorry,” I hiccuped as the words came out of my mouth. “I ran by your house first thing this morning, but your truck was gone. When I got back to my phone, you said you were hunting. I figured you would be relieved too. I didn’t want to text you the news while you were with Colton.”

  “I can’t believe this,” he turned and walked toward his truck. “I have to get out of here.
”

  “So you’re just going to leave?” I asked in shock. “Don’t leave.”

  “Leaving is exactly what you would do if I kept something like this from you!” he yelled without turning back.

  I slumped against the nearest truck as I watched him drive down Lexy’s dirt driveway. I could feel the tears sting my eyes and run down my cheeks as I replayed the last five minutes in my mind. Why was he so mad? Drying my eyes and shaking my head, I decided that I would continue partying on my own.

  I had a reason to feel relaxed, even if he thought otherwise.

  I arrived at school on Monday morning and made my way to my first class. Ty hadn’t replied to any of my text messages or phone calls after he left the party Saturday night. I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t relieved by my news. A baby was the last thing two high school kids needed. Now we would have the freedom to go after the future we actually wanted.

  After grabbing my book from my locker, I continued my slow walk to physics. Ty was sitting at our table, focused on his cell phone.

  “So your phone does work?” I asked as I took the seat next to him. “For some reason, I thought it was broken.”

  Without responding, he pushed his phone deep into his pocket and leaned back into his seat.

  “Why are you so mad?” I leaned closer and whispered, “You should be relieved, not mad.”

  “I’ve been in hell for the past two weeks, Bailey,” he hissed back, causing Lexy to turn around in her seat. “You act like this is a joke.”

  “What do you think I’ve been through?” I asked while waving at her to turn around. “Sorry that my situation put you in a pissy mood.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong.” he shook his head. “You act like it was just about you. This news affected every part of my life too. It made me rethink everything.”

  “Well, now you can go back to your original plan,” I stated, getting defensive. “I’m sorry you had a rough week.”

  Sitting back in my chair, I crossed my arms. How dare he make this about him! If he was determined to stay mad about the situation, I’d let him.

  “You don’t even know what any of my plans are,” he sighed. “Do you care at all about next year?”

  “You know what? I did care, but at this very moment, I don’t care at all.” I glared forward at the white board. “I’m done talking about this.”

  ***

  For the next three weeks, I refused to look in Ty’s direction. I’ll admit I was surprised that he hadn’t made the effort to apologize, especially after how he had acted at the party. I decided instead to focus my anger on basketball instead of on him. My coach was overjoyed with my revived love for the game. Our team was undefeated, and I scored an average of twenty-three points each game.

  It was February, so I was grateful for the distraction of our Valentine Formal. Student Council hosted the dance each year, and I was more than eager to plan and oversee every detail of the event. As soon as our lessons were complete, most of my teachers let me and Lexy go to the school library to work on the dance preparations.

  “Do you have a date for the dance yet?” Lexy asked as she sat down a box of red and pink hearts on a library table.

  “No, not yet,” I shrugged. “I think I’ll just go alone. It’s not a big deal.”

  “You can’t go alone!” she shrieked.

  “Why?” I asked. “I’ll be busy the entire time making sure everything is perfect.”

  “No, you need a date,” she insisted. “Have you been asked yet?”

  “I haven’t.” I turned to Lexy. “Not to sound conceited, but isn’t that weird?”

  “Yeah, it is.” She avoided my eyes and began separating the hearts into red and pink stacks.

  “What?” I asked. “Why are you acting like that?”

  “It’s probably nothing,” she shrugged.

  “If it’s nothing, then tell me,” I demanded.

  “Ty bought two tickets to the dance today. I saw his name on the list.”

  “Who is he taking?”

  “If you two would just talk, he’d probably take you,” she bluntly answered. “Colton hasn’t said anything about Ty asking anyone.”

  “What a jerk,” I sighed. “Maybe I can ask someone from out of town.”

  “You never told me what really happened between you and Ty.”

  “It just didn’t work out.” I could feel my eyes brimming with tears. “Let’s talk about something else.”

  “When is the last time you talked to him?”

  “I thought we were changing the subject,” I said as I reached for another box of decorations.

  “Just saying,” she continued. “I think you two should work things out.”

  Leaving the piles of decorations at the back of the library, we walked to our lockers after the bell rang signaling fourth period. Walking down the narrow hall, I could see Ty leaning against my locker and laughing with Colton.

  “Can you please move?” I asked without looking up.

  He stepped back without responding. As soon as I had opened my gray locker door, I could feel him lean in and move his arm around my back to hold the locker door. I was trapped.

  “You look good today.” He moved his hand to my waist. “How have you been?”

  A small laugh escaped my mouth as I shook my head. Today of all days was not a good time for him to start talking to me.

  “Can I come by your house after school today?” he asked quietly. “I think we should talk about everything.”

  “I’m pretty busy,” I answered without turning around. “I assume you are too.”

  “No, not really,” he replied.

  “Well, I am.” I shut my locker and turned around with his hand still on my waist. “And right now I need to get to class.”

  “We sit next to each other,” he sighed. “We can walk together.”

  “That’s funny,” I said as I moved his hand away from my waist. “I sit next to an ass who hasn’t spoken to me in three weeks.”

  I rolled my eyes as I stormed past him toward the classroom. I could hear Colton and Lexy attempt to encourage Ty after I had walked away. I wished they would stay out of it. Maybe he had told Colton what happened, and Lexy really knew about the almost pregnancy. Surely she couldn’t keep that a secret if she knew.

  Either way, I wasn’t going to let him charm his way back into my life now. I had too much to focus on without Ty getting in the way.

  Arriving home after basketball practice, I thumbed through the mail and found the envelope I had been waiting on for weeks. Brown University was printed as the return address, and I ran to my room before I tore into the envelope.

  Quickly scanning the black ink, I screamed in excitement as I read the word accepted over and over.

  I had been accepted to Brown University!

  My new life would begin as soon as I graduated this May, and that thought made me even more anxious for my senior year to end. I barely heard the knock on my door as I read my letter for the fifth time.

  “Hey,” Ty softly walked into the room and shut the door.

  Startled by his voice, I threw the letter to the other side of my bed and looked up. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came by so we could talk,” he shrugged. “I figured you were never going to agree to it, so I just came anyway.”

  “We haven’t talked in days, Ty,” I sighed as he took a step closer to me. “What’s so important now?”

  “I know I’ve been an ass, okay?” he said as he took the last step and sat beside me on the bed. “The thought of us having a child together made me rethink everything. Then out of nowhere, that idea was gone. I didn’t know how to handle it.”

  “You didn’t know how to handle what?” I asked, refusing to look in his direction.

  Ty took my hand and let out a long breath before he continued. “When you told me that you might be pregnant, I thought the life I had planned on was ruined. I didn’t think we would be able to go to college. We�
�d probably end up in this town for the rest of our lives. And then I thought maybe it would be the best thing that ever happened to me. Maybe this baby was the reason I moved to Milton. Maybe this baby would set me on the right path.”

  I squeezed his hand as he continued, “So I looked into a few of our colleges and found that they have family housing. I even looked into part time jobs and loans that are available for young parents that were starting college. I finally had my head wrapped around the idea that this would be our life. When I walked into Lexy’s barn and saw you drinking, I lost it. I felt like you had thrown away everything that we could have built together.”

  “I didn’t realize you had thought about all of that,” I whispered. “I expected you to be relieved once you heard the news.”

  “I think I was,” he said as he forced me to turn and look at him. “But a small part of me wanted that other life with you.”

  “We can have that life someday.” I reached up and placed my hand on his neck. “When the time is right, and we have jobs and our own house.”

  He laughed and kissed my nose. “I know, baby. It doesn’t make any sense that I felt that way. It was just something I needed to get through. I’m sorry for the past few weeks.”

  Leaning into his shoulder, I laughed. “We really need to get our act together before we move to Providence.”

  “Providence?” he asked. “Did you get your acceptance letter?”

  “I got it today.” I looked up and smiled. “Have you received yours?”

  Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a familiar envelope that had Brown printed on the top left corner. “I got mine yesterday,” he laughed. “Once I read it, I knew I needed to beg you back so we could make our summer plans.”

  “I plan on driving north as soon as I graduate,” I stated. “I might even make a stop in Detroit.”

  “Hell yes, baby,” he laughed as he pulled me further onto the bed and began kissing my neck. “Sounds like a plan to me.”

  ***

  It had been an entire week, and Ty still hadn’t asked me to the Valentine Formal. Knowing he had bought two tickets to the dance made me extremely impatient. Sitting around the house after dinner on Thursday night, I decided I should visit my safe place to clear my head. Hopefully it would get my mind off the idea of waiting on Ty.