Indulge

by Liv Morris

  “You could have killed Lori.” I was short and to the point.

  “I know, I was stupid and there is no excuse for my actions. I am sorry. I would like to see her, Jenny.” He wanted to see her? Why? So he could see exactly how bad he fucked up?

  “I don’t think that is a good idea right now. She hasn’t woken yet, and you aren’t getting out of this bed anytime soon. Take care of yourself, Jude.”

  I stood to walk out of the room when a strangled cry stopped me.

  “I care about her, Jenny. I really do. You broke me and I know it sounds stupid because we never had anything, but losing you fucked me up. She is it for me. Don’t take her away.”

  It took me a minute to understand what he was trying to tell me.

  “Jude, if you lose her... it is your own fault.”

  I had to walk away before I lashed out on him.

  I only hoped his motives were pure, and he knew what he was getting into with Lori. Because if he ever hurt her again, I wouldn’t let him walk away again.

  ***

  “Thank GOD you are here!” Nora ran for me in the foyer of our penthouse carrying a small giggling baby. “It threw up on me, twice! I am covered in baby vomit. I have to go. I have to shower. God! I’m gonna do it too!” Her gags echoed through the room as she shoved the small boy into my arms.

  “Hey there, little guy.” I took him from her and cradled him on my hip. “Did you pick up any accessories for him?”

  Mathis walked into the room, catching our conversation. “Did you just call baby stuff accessories?” He laughed.

  “Yeah, you know what I am talking about right? Like bottles and those little baby seat things. Swings, all the shit babies need so they don’t scream for hours on end?” Right? Isn’t that what babies need? Damn. I was so new to all this shit. What the fuck would I do with a baby if Mathis did end up getting me pregnant?

  Hookers and dildos? I am a fucking pro! Babies and bouncers? Not so much.

  Shit. What the hell was I in for?

  “All of his stuff is in the kitchen. The only thing I couldn’t pack up and take with me was the crib, clearly too fuckin’ big, Jenny.” Nora laughed as she strolled out the door. “I’ll be back in the morning. Good luck my friend, may the force be with you!”

  The door slammed and the baby started crying. Shit! How do I calm him? I tried to bounce him on my hip, but his screams got louder. O-M-G! Help! Where is that Super Nanny bitch?

  I could feel my nerves getting the best of me when Mathis pulled the little boy from my grip and startled to cradle him in his arms.

  His smooth voice sent a chill through my body as he effortlessly calmed the little boy. “It’s okay, buddy. I’m sure you are scared, being here with all these strangers. Momma will be home soon, I promise.”

  Holy hell. Mathis got even sexier, if that was even possible.

  “You know, love. Babies can sense stress. You freaked out, so he freaked out.” He laughed and started walking through the house, heading for all the baby goodies in the kitchen.

  “How do you know all this baby stuff?” I was completely puzzled by his baby knowledge and scared at the same time. “Please don’t tell me there are any illegitimate mini Mathis’ running around.” I took a deep breath and sent up a silent prayer.

  “Really, Jenny? No, I don’t have any kids. I just have friends who do have kids. Uncle Mathis here!” He laughed as he pulled out a can of formula and started to prepare a bottle, one handed.

  “God that shit smells!” I gagged as I breathed in the smell of the formula.

  “Yeah, I’m not fond of it myself. Looks like you’ll be breastfeeding.” He winked at me.

  I look down at my tits, palming them with my hands.

  “This whole baby plan is slowly starting to go out the window.”

  “Jenny, don’t be silly.”

  Mathis interrupted my thoughts. God, was I really ready for all of this? Maybe while we had Lori’s baby here we should invest in a box of condoms.

  “Mathis, I am serious. I don’t know if I am ready for all of this.” I waved around the kitchen taking in all the boy’s stuff.

  “Relax, Jenny. When we have our own we will have plenty of time to prepare and get ready. This...” he looked around the room, before his heated gaze settled back on me, “is all last minute and we just need to do our best for Lori right now.”

  I walked around the kitchen island and wrapped my arms around him as he continued to cradle the little boy to his chest.

  “Thank you, Mathis.”

  Chapter 28

  Three Men and a Baby

  (Mathis)

  Why did I agree to go see Jude in the hospital? Oh yeah. Cause the guy fucking called me, guilting me into feeling sorry for him.

  Yes, I guess you could say that I was still jealous and very possessive over my wife. Wouldn’t you be? After the shit he pulled, I had every right to be claiming every second of Jennifer’s time.

  She still hadn’t talked to him since she visited with him the first time. She only went to see Lori and that was it. I attempted to talk to her about Jude. Make her see reason. What can I say? I was going to fucking win husband of the year after this shit. Because who really campaigns for their wife to go see an ex-fuck buddy? The thought made me cringe, but they needed to talk so we could all move on to whatever our new normal would be.

  I remembered the look of concern in her blue gaze. Concern for Jude? For me? Was she worried that old feelings would resurface? Please. That would be over my fucking dead body.

  I knocked on the door to Jude’s hospital room and waited.

  A soft “come in” greeted me from the other side.

  Opening the door, I stepped into the large private white room. Jude’s bruises were fading and he was now sitting up in bed. Definitely looked much better than how I imagined. “How are you feeling?” I asked, pulling up a chair beside the bed.

  He nodded at the nurse and she smiled before leaving us alone.

  Jude shifted in the bed. “Cut the small talk.”

  I frowned. “Jude.”

  He scrubbed a hand down his face and sighed. “I fucked up. I was desperate to get Jenny’s attention and I went about it the wrong way.” Well at least he was being honest with me. I wondered why he had told Jenny his sights were set on Lori though.

  I nodded, already knowing what he was telling me.

  “I just...fuck.” He huffed. “How will I fix this?”

  “Time.”

  Jude’s gaze met mine. “You think?”

  I smiled. As much as I didn’t like the guy, I kind of felt sorry for him. “Jude, in my experience, time is the only thing that heals. Give Jenny time.”

  “What about Lori? I almost fucking killed her. God, she has a baby! A baby I had no damn idea about!”

  My stomach twisted. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to help him deal with the battle going on deep inside him.

  I rose to my feet and placed a hand on his shoulder before giving a light but firm squeeze. “I can’t say that Lori will ever forgive this or move on, all you can do is be patient. Don’t push her. Women do not like being fucking forced into something.”

  He let out a heavy sigh. “Thank—”

  “Stop. I don’t like you but you’re my wife’s friend so for her, I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt.”

  “She doesn’t know you’re here, does she?” he asked.

  “Not yet.” And with that, I left. My heart felt bigger, fuller even. And I made that my new life mission. To stop being the asshole I once was and to be the better man my wife turned me into.

  ***

  A couple of days later, I gave Jennifer the much needed break from baby boy, Alexander. Lori’s son was the spitting image of her with the dark brown hair to the warm complexion. His bright blue eyes looked up at me as I sat at the table in my club.

  I hadn’t even been in my own club, Club Maroon, since meeting Jennifer. I couldn’t very well blame her, but sh
e was the main reason for my distraction.

  I smiled and cooed at the baby.

  Lori had finally woken but wasn’t up much for visitors except for Jennifer and Nora. And Jude? He was fucking out of the question. That shit would not be happening anytime soon. I felt bad for her, from what Jenny told me, she had been through a lot in the past couple years. I couldn’t imagine holding it together the way she had.

  “Please tell me that’s not yours.”

  I chuckled as Yan approached the table with Antonio following beside him. They sat across from me and frowned at the bundle I was holding. Apparently, a business man holding a squirming six month old was not normal. Whatever. They could all kiss my ass.

  “What’s with the baby?” Antonio asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “Jennifer and I are babysitting him for a couple of days,” I explained without giving too much away. They didn’t need to know Lori’s personal issues or did they know—

  “We heard about Jude.” Yan grunted his disapproval.

  Yup. They knew already. Shit. “Yes, Jude is in the hospital.”

  Yan smirked. “That’s not what we were referring to.”

  “I know.”

  Antonio rolled his eyes and reached out a hand to stroke Alexander’s cheek. Alexander latched onto his finger, wrapping his small fingers around Antonio’s big one.

  Antonio smiled.

  “You have kids?” I asked, watching the interaction between them.

  Antonio met my gaze, a smug smile forming on his face. “No, but my sister does and a woman loves a man who is good with kids. Definitely a way to her pussy.”

  I covered Alexander’s ears. “Language.” That’s right folks. I, Mathis Verlinden, was growing a vagina.

  “What?” Antonio feigned shock. “You don’t want this little man having his first word be pussy? How fucking epic would that shit be?”

  Really? “If we bring this boy back to his mom and the P word pops out of his mouth, my wife will fuck..er…fudging kill me.”

  Yan laughed. “I think he’s too young yet, brother.”

  Was he? He was six months or so. When did babies say their first word? Yes, I knew enough to take care of them but I didn’t actually know as much as I let on. That’s it. Jennifer was going to kill me.

  Alexander giggled and cooed in my lap, slamming the spoon against the table. On lookers noticed but fuck ‘em, it was my club. Let ‘em complain.

  “So I assume, no business talk today?” Yan asked, leaning back in the chair.

  “Why have business talk when we can have baby talk?” Antonio crooned, pulling Alexander from my arms.

  “Really? And you actually get women like that?” I teased.

  “Every time, lover boy,” Antonio shot back.

  I laughed and shook my head.

  “Seriously though. Listen my man, I was an ass—”

  I shot him a look.

  “Um…butt…hole the last time we met, and I wanted to say that I’m sorry,” Antonio said, bouncing the boy on his knee.

  A couple women walked by and giggled as they saw Antonio interacting with the little boy.

  “See? What did I say?” He laughed as they walked away.

  I shook my head and grabbed Alexander back from him.

  “Now, I know you don’t want to discuss business but...” Yan looked at Antonio.

  Oh shit. I know that look. The look of shit is about to hit the fucking fan. “Tell me.”

  Yan nodded.

  Antonio took a breath. “Cliff Morello is back in town and needs—”

  “I’ll take it from here boys.”

  My heart jumped at the deep smooth voice that boomed into my ear. I turned to meet Cliff’s dark amber stare.

  His eyes were so bright, he had women throwing themselves at his feet just to get him to look their way. But, he didn’t often take them up on those offers. He was a loner, didn’t need their company or the company of anyone for that matter. It was scary, but he worked perfectly for the arrangement we had.

  Cliff smirked. “Been awhile.”

  I rose to my feet while Alexander was grabbed from my arms. “It has.” I still couldn’t fucking believe that he was standing in front of me.

  “Yours?” he asked, indicating Alexander.

  “No. Babysitting.”

  Cliff motioned to one of the empty booths near us. “Can we talk?”

  I looked at my brother, Antonio, and then at Alexander.

  “We got this, brother,” Yan offered.

  I took a breath and headed to the booth, making sure I could still see Lori’s son. Call me protective but with the shit she’s been going through, if anything happened to her son, I would never forgive myself. Hell, Jenny would never forgive me.

  “It’s good to see you, Mathis.”

  “Why are you here?” I asked, keeping my voice calm and even when really I was rattled to the bone inside.

  Cliff smiled and rubbed his chin.

  It had been a year since I seen the guy. Why was he here now? It couldn’t be good, that was for sure. It never really was.

  “I have a job—”

  “No,” I said, my voice firm.

  Cliff raised an eyebrow? “You don’t want to hear what the job is?”

  I shook my head. “I’m out.”

  Cliff scoffed. “Mathis Verlinden doesn’t get out. Ever. You fucking own this shit.”

  “No, I don’t,” I bit out through clenched teeth.

  “Mathis, you started this business...”

  “Yes and now...” A thought came to me. Why the hell didn’t I think of it before? “It’s yours.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  I leaned back and crossed my arms under my chest. “Why haven’t you contacted me for a year?”

  Cliff huffed and ran a hand through his short brown hair. His piercing eyes looking away. “I got caught up in shit. Couldn’t bring anyone else in without causing backlash for them, and for us. It was protection.”

  I shook my head. “I respect that, but there is no us anymore. We were one, working as a team and you fucked off and left me to clean up your shit. The FBI has been all over my ass but luckily the clubs have deterred them...for now.”

  “I didn’t know things would go down like that. I’m sorry,” he whispered.

  I searched his face. “Look at me.”

  Cliff met my gaze, his jaw clenching.

  “Did you fuck me over?”

  “No,” he said, keeping his eyes on me.

  “Did you use this business for your own personal gain because, so help me, Cliff, I don’t care if I loved you like a brother, I will make it so you disappear.”

  The corners of his lips tugged up into a slow grin. “I missed you, partner.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Sorry. I’m only into pussy.”

  A deep booming laugh escaped his lips and like that, the cold ice of what I thought was betrayal between us, cracked. Slowly, mind you, but it was a start.

  “So you’re really out of the business?”

  “Yup. I don’t need it anymore.”

  He nodded in understanding.

  “And Cliff? Whatever problems you have, use your own people. Leave Dean out of this.”

  “Understood.”

  “Good. Cause now that you’re back, I’d really hate to have to kill you,” I said casually.

  He laughed but knew I wasn’t kidding.

  Now that I had a family, although we weren’t all blood, they were mine and I would fucking do anything to protect them and myself. My business dealings were now legal, unless you counted the private rooms in the back of my club but that’s a whole other story. A story that soon would involve my own wife and her budding business.

  Chapter 29

  As the Time Flies

  (Jennifer)

  Today marked one month since Jude almost killed himself and Lori in a car accident. It also marked the day Lori was finally being released from the hospital. In the past two weeks
, I moved all of her belongings out of the sketchy apartment she was living in with Alexander, and into a small penthouse on the same floor of our building. She was having trouble walking, so I knew it would be a long haul before she was able to actually go back to work.

  I didn’t want to think about putting her back to work though. I could only think about the mess her life had become. Through our long chats in the hospital, I learned a lot about her situation, and everything that lead her to the streets of Vegas. I would never let her live that life again. Neither would Jude.

  With Lori by my side, we interviewed several nannies who would help her around the house. With Alexander getting so mobile, crawling and starting to pull up on any piece of furniture in sight, I knew she would have a hard time keeping up with him right now. As much as I would love to be there helping her every step of the way, my budding business was taking off. The clientele list had nearly doubled through word of mouth and I was having to hire more girls and an actual staff to help me.

  Never did I imagine I would have been here a month ago.

  Then there was Jude.

  Fucking Jude. I could kill him. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to wrap my pale white hands around his throat and squeeze. Since the first day I visited him in the hospital, I hadn’t been back. He had tried to call, but I would send him to voicemail. I knew that Mathis had been to see him a couple times, but that was between them. I wanted nothing to do with it, and after Mathis had come home and told me about his visit, I told him that.

  He respected me. He respected my way of dealing with this all. He respected me. Which was why we worked.

  Business with his clubs boomed. The hotel deal had been finalized last week despite Jude being laid up in the hospital still. Work compromised our days, but we always came home to each other, sharing our days over dinner before spending the evening alone in bed. Of course, Alexander had disrupted us a number of times from the guest bedroom down the hall, but it was something we would have to work on getting used to. Our dream of a family was still in the works.

  In between our appointments and business, I had seen my obstetrician and had a checkup, talking about our plans for children, and my impromptu choice to throw my birth control all over the floor. I’m so fuckin’ dramatic!