Indulge

by Liv Morris

  He snickers, “Well, I’m not convinced that feeling is mutual. She’s having a blast torturing the boys! Poor little bastards don’t stand a chance with Sierra and Lyla. They’re ruling this roost! The boys are all being forced to play some game of house. The little brats are all wearing tutus and barking. I’m not really sure what’s going on in their storyline. I was just wondering if I was going to need to bill you for the therapy that I’m sure they will need after today.”

  I’m laughing at what my daughter’s idea of playing house could be - turning my twin nephews into tutu-wearing animals or whatever else she’s come up with. “Wow, sounds like Sierra. She is dog obsessed, lately. She’s been asking me for a puppy every day. Thank you for giving her that! I definitely owe you and Kate a few days away. Let me know when I can cover and stay with the kiddos. Can I hear my baby girl’s voice before we head out to dinner?” I ask.

  “No problem, sis. We’ll let you stay with these rug rats anytime! But for now, just go and have a great night. Love you,” he says right before he passes the phone to a squealing little girl.

  “Hi, Mama, we’re playing house and I bought a dog and named her Petals. She wears a pink ballerina dress.” She fills me in, talking so fast she barely takes a breath.

  “Nice, sweet girl, remember to be super sweet to that puppy. I would hate for the little rascal to bite you!” I say, with hopes she gets the message that picking on her older twin cousins isn’t acceptable.

  I know she understands when she responds, giggling, “Mama, I know how to take care of puppies, silly.”

  Oh how I love the sound of my giggling girl. “I love you as high as the sky, precious girl! Sleep well and I’ll call you after breakfast tomorrow. Do you want me to sing your song before we hang up?” I ask, but she sounds a bit distracted.

  “No, thanks, Mama. You can sing to me at breakfast. I gotta go. Auntie Kate wants to talk to you. Love you, Mama,” she exclaims, and that’s it as she hands the phone off to Kate.

  Kate fills me in on their plans for the weekend. I know my baby will have a great time. Kate is like another supermom. Since she has three of her own, adding Sierra to her group doesn’t really cramp her style. I’m so grateful that my brother chose this woman to spend his life with. She really is amazing. I remind him all the time that he’s a lucky bastard. We talk for a little while about the beach and what we girls are up to. Then I disconnect to finish getting ready for our night out.

  We enjoyed a fantastic dinner at the hotel. Now the girls and I are walking to a little bar down the street. There’s a big wedding at the resort this weekend, so we thought it best to escape the wedding crowd.

  Apparently, that country music star we heard the girls talking about this morning is attending the wedding, so there are tons of fangirls hanging out in the hotel bar and restaurant trying to catch a peek. I haven’t been interested enough to ask who it is. I’m trying to escape the crowds, not go toward them. I have no interest in chasing some star down for an autograph or anything else. I’m all too happy to find another bar that’s not too crowded.

  “Hey…it’s open mic night, Alexis. It’s about time you get back up on a little stage, don’t you think?” I give Kelsey a look that will clearly state my intolerance of her peer pressure, but it seems my look has no effect.

  “No chance, my friend. There’s not enough beer in this bar to get me on that stage!” We walk into the quaint bar that overlooks the ocean. In the corner is a small little stage with a mic and what looks like a few performers prepping to sing. There’s even a Martin guitar in the corner. I really like the feeling of this place. We find a table on the deck so we can look at the ocean. We place our orders with the waiter, and then settle in to listen to several performers, enjoying the entertainment.

  The mood takes a little bit of a dive when Kelsey tells us about her ex’s most recent refusal to meet the requirements of their divorce decree. He’s really put her through the ringer. I have a lot of pent up frustrations that I would very much enjoy releasing on him, but I won’t, since I don’t want to cause any more issues for Kels.

  I really do want to cheer her up, so maybe, I think, I could sing her a song to put a smile on her face. There’s a cute song on Whit’s playlist that we were all singing to today. We’ve made it our honorary weekend theme song. I’ll sing that for her.

  I get up from my seat, taking my Blue Moon with me, and approach the audio tech beside the stage. I ask him if he has the instrumentals for the song I’d like to sing and he tells me he doesn’t. I’m trying to think of another song when I feel someone beside me, a little too close. “Alexis Phillips, is that you?” He asks inquisitively. “My God—it—is—you,” mystery guy stutters before I can turn around.

  Oh my…right beside me is Garrett McKenna. Like THE Garrett McKenna. He has a hat and sunglasses on, even though it’s dusk. I’d recognize him anywhere. How could I ever forget that face? I feel like I’m floating as he stares at me with those mesmerizing gray eyes. Damn…he’s still so beautiful. I know men don’t want to be referred to as beautiful, but damn I’m not sure of another word to describe him.

  I was a freshman when we used to sit in the park on campus and sing together. Really, he would play guitar and write his songs and I mostly harmonized with him. It was all in good fun, because I liked hanging out with him and he allowed me to be me, not because I kind of had a major crush on him. We lost touch years ago, after he left college to pursue his music career in Nashville.

  He got a recording contract and is doing really well for himself. I’m shocked to see him in this bar. I know he notices my reaction, since my mouth seems to have stopped working and is hanging wide open. “Um…hi,” that’s it…that’s all I can say. Yep, I officially look like the biggest loser!

  “Alexis, stop looking at me like that. You’re going to blow my cover and, right now, that wouldn’t work out very well. It’s just me, the same ole Garrett!” He lightly slugs me on the shoulder, trying to reassure me.

  “Garrett! Oh my God. I can’t believe you’re here. How are you? Never mind, I know how you are. I see your face on the cover of magazines all the time,” I ramble like those crazy fangirls we saw earlier. He flinches slightly, but then his gorgeous smile sweeps across his face.

  He takes my hand, guiding me away from the stage and over to a less crowded corner of the bar. The butterflies that one would usually feel fluttering in your stomach are sweeping though my entire body, and it feels much more like an elephant stampede than butterfly flight. What’s wrong with me and why am I so star struck? Isn’t this the same guy I used to hang with on the west lawn? Nope, this is Garrett McKenna. The Garrett McKenna. The CMA artist of the year, the playboy that’s constantly surrounded by screaming fangirls and different beautiful celebrities at the red carpet events. I wonder where all the fans are?

  He’s wearing an expression I don’t quite recognize. It looks happy, but at the same time concerned. Maybe he’s worried about being recognized with me beside him. “Alexis, I’m so happy to see you. What are you doing here?” he asks. I tell him I’m great and that I’m here with the girls, pointing over to our table outside. “How are you, sweetheart? I think about you all the time. I heard about Jed, but I wasn’t really sure the best way to handle contacting you. I couldn’t really show up at the funeral without bringing a lot of unnecessary attention. I did think about you and wonder how you were.”

  Wow…I can hear the concern in his voice. But I don’t need anyone else feeling sorry for me. Not even superstar Garrett McKenna. Besides, he couldn’t send a card, a letter, or pick up the phone? I’m at a loss as to what to say. “I’m actually doing okay, Garrett. Sierra, my daughter, is growing up and that’s fun to watch. The girls and I are here for a little beach getaway,” I reply with my ‘Fake it till you make it’ attitude. “I was going to sing a song for Kelsey, but they don’t have the instrumentals for the song. Why don’t you come back to the table with me and say hello to everyone? I know they would love to
say hi to you, too.” I say, reaching for his arm to pull him toward the girls.

  He stops me, wearing a huge grin. “You were going to sing, Alexis?” he asks.

  “Yeah, but I can’t now. I wanted to sing our weekend anthem and they don’t have it. This isn’t really a country music kind of crowd, I suppose. Please, come over with me,” I implore him again, knowing this would make their night just as it’s done for me.

  “Not yet, Alexis. What song did you want to sing?” I have no idea why he is so interested in what I was going to sing. I’m obviously not singing it now.

  “Killing Little Umbrellas by Sarah Darling. Kels is kind of in a funk. She’s just gone through an insane divorce from an idiot, and I wanted to cheer her up. No biggie…now I have you to cheer her up,” I say, feeling like I’ve hit the goldmine of cheer-ups for Kelsey.

  “No, lady, you want to sing that song and I want to hear it, so I’ll play guitar for you. Just don’t say who’s accompanying you. It’ll start all kinds of craziness, and I’m happy to catch up with you girls tonight without all that nonsense. I don’t want a bigger crowd getting in the way,” he explains, pulling me back toward the stage. “Come on. Let’s do this!”

  How could he possibly jump on stage with me and play a song we’ve never done together. Is he insane? “Wait, Garrett! Do you know that song? Hold on, I can’t go on that stage with you. Let’s just go to the table. Kelsey will be so happy to see you that she’ll forget all about her mood.” I’m pleading with him.

  “No way, Lex. I haven’t heard your voice in years and that’s a crime by my standard. Up you go.” He lifts me by the hips and sets me on the stage, then leans over chatting in the tech’s ear. The lights on the back of the stage dim and he pulls the bill of his hat down even lower to mask his identity before he jumps up on the stage. He grabs the guitar in the corner and stands waiting for my signal, but doesn’t say anything.

  I speak to the crowd. “Hey, I’m here with my best friends in the world. We’ve all kinda had a rough year or so and we’re here celebrating our friendships this week,” I say holding up my beer, saluting in their direction. “This song has kind of become our weekend anthem and one of my girls needs a little pick me up tonight. Thanks to my longtime friend back there for playing the acoustics, so I can sing to my Kelsey girl!” I inform the crowd, looking over at my three friends and their shocked, but overjoyed expressions.

  I nod my head in Garrett’s direction, desperately trying to avoid eye contact with him. He begins playing the chords for the song. I’m completely awestruck. But right on time, I sing to the crowd, looking towards my friends, who are all wearing huge-ass grins. It’s obvious they’ve figured out who’s on stage with me. He’s the only longtime friend that I have that I’ve sung with. They’re all jumping up and down and singing along. When the song ends, Garrett quickly jumps off stage and heads in the direction of our table. I thank everyone for listening and follow right behind him.

  Chapter 3

  To say I’m shocked to see Alexis here would be the understatement of the century. This is…THE GIRL! By ’The Girl’ I mean, the girl I used to compare all others against for years, and frankly still do. Shit, honestly, no one has even come close to making me feel the way that she did. I haven’t seen her in, what’s it been, nine years? But hot damn, she looks amazing. Better than she did in college. I thought the ladies were supposed to lose their bodies as they got older. Not this girl. She’s got a little more to love on her bottom than I remember, but damn do I love it. Lex is simply the most beautiful woman in this bar. I noticed her immediately when she walked to the stage. The energy in the whole room changed. It was like a bunch of twinkling star lights shining around her. Even across the room she makes me feel lightheaded and dazed. How is that?

  I can’t believe the song she wants to sing is one that I know, since it happens Courtney’s favorite. Drew and I are constantly playing it for her to sing, as well. It’s a chic, boy hater song, but I don’t care. I’d play Alanis Morissette if Alexis wanted. I’m glad to play it for her. She’s got the voice of an angel. I haven’t heard her sing since I left college.

  Going to Nashville and leaving my friends behind isn’t something I’m proud of. When I got to Nashville, it was hard work to get noticed. Playing in lousy dive bars. My chances of being successful in the beginning were very slim. Everyone told me I was making a huge mistake leaving Florida and college to do this, but it was something I just couldn’t ever look back on and regret. I lost touch with my friends. In the beginning, the thought of calling and telling them I hadn’t hit it big yet was a knock to my ego. Then, when I did start getting my name out there, I was just busy. That and I didn’t want to call because at that point, it felt like I was bragging. It sucked either way. So I lost all of my friends, along with my privacy, and other things I wasn’t expecting to go along with this life.

  Listening to Alexis sing about ‘Killing Little Umbrellas’ is adorable. She looks a little like she killed a few too many today, to be honest. Her face is flush and she seems like her words are lost in conversation. But, that’s okay, because she is slamming the lyrics while she sings, never missing a key. I should have taken her to Nashville with me. She wouldn’t have had to work nearly as hard as I did to get a recording contract.

  I’m not worried about getting noticed up on stage because everyone in the bar is staring at Alexis. Even if my cover did get blown, I wouldn’t care. Being on stage with her would make it worth it.

  After the song ends, I dash off the stage before anyone notices me. I head in the direction of Alexis’s best friends. I knew all these girls back in the day. Not quite as well as I knew Alexis, but well enough.

  The five of us sit on the deck out back, hanging out and talking for a while. I was desperate to get away from the resort, and I found this little dive bar to hide out in. I’m so glad I came out alone. I wouldn’t want to share this time with anyone else. It actually feels like old times. They don’t treat me very differently, aside from asking a few questions about ‘star life’. The time catching up with Alexis has flown by. I didn’t even notice the time, until I see Alexis covering her sweet lips behind her hand, try to disguise a yawn.

  “Wow, it’s one in the morning, ladies. Let me walk you guys back to the hotel.” I signal the waiter for our check. Alexis is reaching for her wallet, too. “Put it away, lady, I got this. I can’t even remember the last time I had this much fun with a bunch of girls.”

  Alexis turns bright red and whips her head around to stare daggers at me. “Garrett, we don’t want to hear about your play-boyish ways. Leave it.” She’s pissed.

  Damn, that’s hot, but I don’t want her mad. “Wait, Alexis, that’s not what I meant. I meant, when I’m around ladies, they usually don’t want to talk…they...UGH… Never mind, this isn’t going to sound the way I mean it, no matter how I phrase it.” I smile at her, hoping she sees that I really wasn’t trying to sound like an ass.

  I pay the check and we all walk out onto the sidewalk, heading back toward the huge pink hotel. I can’t believe the girls are staying at the same resort. What are the chances? I’m here for my cousin’s wedding. I thought it would be nice to come a couple days early and get a little R&R, while hanging out with my family. Someone in the bridal party let it slip that I was going to be here performing, so there have been a lot of fans and photographers hanging around snapping pictures. I was sick of being holed up in my hotel room, and decided to go out and have a beer. Shit, am I happy I did! Seeing Alexis here tonight has been fantastic.

  I’ve been concerned about her since I heard about the plane crash that killed her husband. It was widely televised in Tampa. My parents still live there and told me about it, since they knew Alexis and I were friends in college. In spite of all that she’s been through, she looks okay, not deeply devastated, but a little derailed. I know it’s been over a year. I have no idea how long it takes for life to be okay again after a loss like that. I haven’t ever lost anyone close t
o me. I tend to try and keep most people at arm’s length, anyway.

  Jed and I weren’t friends, per say, we knew each other because we ran in the same crowd. When he and Alexis started dating, I tried to stay away from him as much as possible. He was a nice enough guy, but shit, I was crazy jealous. He had the most amazing girl I’d ever met and there was no way I wanted to ever hear how happy she made him. So, I just hung with Alexis in between her classes, when she could fit me in, and tried to avoid social situations where I would be forced to see them together. I could never have handled seeing her wrapped around another guy.

  Lex and I would sit on the west lawn where I would play the guitar and sing with her. It was my favorite college pastime. Many guys would say they loved the time they spent partying, picking up the chicks, or hanging with the frat brothers, but me, hell no. My time singing with Alexis was the best time ever. Hell, I think I would still choose that over packing the house at Madison Square Garden.

  The girls are leading the way to their suite. I’m in the suite directly above them. Damn, how the universe works sometimes!

  We reach the door to their room. Before they walk into the room I hug each of them and tell them I’ll see them around this weekend. The door closes gently behind them, as Alexis steps up to give me a hug. Now that I know Alexis is here, I know I won’t be able to stay away. When she gets close, I sweep her up and swing her around in a big bear hug. It feels so nice to be close to her. “Sweetheart, I knew I missed you, but even I didn’t realize how much until tonight.”

  I see her cell phone poking out of the front pocket of her purse. I pull it out and quickly program my number into her phone, then dial my own number from her phone, so I can save it. I vow to myself at that point, never again will I let her get away from me.