Indulge

by Liv Morris

  “I’ll handle it, Alexis. Give me a chance.” He’s begging.

  “NO…it’s too late. I’ve given you a chance to get her out of our lives and she keeps reappearing, because you’re allowing it. Why do you keep giving her a way in? She’s never going to be okay. You have to stop this now, Jason. Anyone else in the entire world who poses a threat to me, you attack full force. But with her, YOU CAN’T! NO... I’m handling it. I’m calling the police and getting restraining orders. End of story. It’s too much now, Jason. I have to protect my daughter,” she’s says, but there are no more tears. She’s a woman on a mission.

  “Sweetheart, we’ll get the restraining orders and then I want you both to step aside and let me handle this. Clearly this is a bone of contention with the two of you. You need to let someone not so close to the situation take over,” I say looking mostly at Alexis, because she’ll likely be the one to object first. I know my girl.

  And true to form “No…I DO NOT want you speaking to that woman, anymore. WE ARE DONE WITH HER!” she states.

  I walk to stand directly in front of her, looking down into her eyes. “YES, lady. We are done with her and I can tell you right now the only person under this roof that will talk to her will be me or my attorneys. I mean it, Lex. You’re not dealing with this shit. You got me?” I ask, seriously, because there’s no way I can sit aside and allow her to negotiate with someone like that woman. She turns on her heels and storms out of the room, out of my eyesight. She can be pissed. She can stomp off all she wants. I don’t care, but she won’t be talking to that woman…end of story.

  I say goodbye to Jason after getting all the necessary contact information for his mother. He’s apologized. The man feels really bad. He hates that this is causing his sister problems, but it’s clear that cutting his mother off completely is too hard for him. He wants to help her. He wants her to get better. He’s hoping she will someday, and he’ll be waiting. But not my girl, she’s never going to get past her mother abandoning them and leaving them with assorted relatives, or friends, over the years to party and live a life her children didn’t fit into.

  Luckily for now, no one except immediate family knows Lex is expecting. We need to keep it that way. I don’t want anyone else harassing her right now.

  After Jason leaves I go on a search for Lex and find her in bed, reading on her kindle. I go over to her, “I love you, sweetheart.”

  She looks me in the eye and I can see the unhappiness. “I know, Garrett. But I’m a big girl. I can fight my own battles. You can’t take over.”

  “Sweetheart, we’re a team. You’ll never, ever, ever go into any battle alone. I’ll always be there. Sorry, no more lonely girl on her own crap. I’m here and I’ll try not to take over, but there will be certain things that I’ll always want you to just let me take care of. Not because I don’t think you can, babe, but because I love you too much to allow someone to say hateful, hurtful, and vile things to or about you. I don’t want you or our children near it! Okay?”

  It’s a simple, single nod, but her eyes speak volumes. Not only does she get it, she accepts it.

  “Thank you for being in bed resting. I like seeing you take care of yourself,” I acknowledge. “Do you want anything?” I ask.

  She smiles. “Yes, I’d like some of that yogurt your mom mixed up and a cup of tea.”

  Chapter 38

  I cannot believe this is happening. My stupid mother has always chosen the best times in my life to reappear. I told Jason the last time this happened that we needed to cut all ties, but he started spouting the nonsense ‘Keep your friends close and enemies closer.’ Look what we’re dealing with now. She’s practically on my doorstep, threatening Sierra. She saw the tabloids from a few weeks ago with pictures of Garrett, Sierra, and me. She knows about us and is now threatening us.

  Why of all parents did I have to be born to that woman? She’s a piece of work and always has been. She’s hated and resented me since the day I was born. Ugh. I’m stepping aside and letting Garrett handle it. As much as I don’t want him near her, he’s right. I need to take care of my babies. I can’t allow her to get to me or under my skin.

  She’s met her match with Garrett. I’ve never in my life witnessed a more enraged man. I think if she’d been speaking to him face to face I’d be visiting Garret in a jail cell. One thing’s for sure, I know I’m safe, safe with him always.

  He’s downstairs working and having video conference meetings. He’s super busy and I hate that my crap is being tossed on him as well. But truthfully, I’m exhausted and very ready for an afternoon nap before I have to get Sierra from school.

  I hear footsteps and I’m sure he’s coming to check on me again, but it’s not. It’s Whitney, Cami, and Kelsey! “Hey, chica. How are you?” they all ask with smiles before jumping on the bed. They have bags with them and Cami’s holding four spoons.

  “Please, dear Lord, tell me there’s Ben & Jerry’s in that bag,” I plead, matching their smiles. This is such a great surprise. We were all supposed to have dinner together last Thursday night, and I was a no show because I was passed out.

  I’m so happy to see these girls and catch up. “Soo…Whit, what have you been up to?” I ask, knowing she’ll likely dismiss me.

  “Thinking about possible names for my next god-child,” she replies with a wink. Kelsey is ecstatic. Whitney is of course pleased. But my Cami is over the moon happy. She always worried the Sierra would grow up without siblings and it made her sad.

  We all stay on the bed visiting and eating ice cream for a good while when I see my precious man at the door, laughing at me eating the entire quart of Ben & Jerry’s out of the container with a spoon. “Thank God, they found something you can eat in bulk that doesn’t make you nauseous.” He winks, then walks over to the bed and kisses me hard right on the lips, giving them a bit of a little lick. “Yummy, babe,” he says opening his mouth for a bite of the ice cream. I scoop out a big chuck and plop it into his mouth.

  “I’m going to pick up our kiddo,” he says, and I look at the clock. It can’t possibly be time already, but it is. “Stay here with these girls, who should know they need to bring a pregnant woman good nutritious food with her ice cream,” he says, looking at the three of them.

  Kelsey pipes in, “Oh yeah, I did. Sorry, I forgot!” Taking a huge chocolate bar out of her purse and passing it to me, she winks at Garrett. We’re laughing hysterically when Garret flips them off, before devouring my mouth with a full blown tongue kiss right in front of them.

  “Okay. I’ll wait where I am for you!” I say, mimicking a compliant child. And he eyes me with approval.

  The girls stay only a few minutes after Garrett leaves to get Sierra. I decide to take advantage of the alone time and have a warm bath. I intended to that last night, but it never really worked out with all the company in the house.

  I start the bath water and climb in, placing my phone on the ledge of the tub in case Garrett calls. I lay there feeling truly relaxed. I’m not really sure why or how I’m so calm in the mix of this insane storm of chaos, but I do know that Garrett said I wasn’t going to battle alone anymore, and I know I’m not. He’s got this all under control. I’m relaxed, calm, and insanely happy.

  “Hi, Mama,” I feel a little hand rubbing my cheek. “You feel better?” she asks. Smiling, I tell her I couldn’t be better. I’m still buried in my tub full of bubbles and the water is still warm, so I haven’t been sleeping long.

  “Come on, sweet girl, let’s go see what Mimi made us for supper and let Mama finish her bath. She’ll come down and join us soon,” Garrett says to Sierra and she bounces out of the room. He kisses my head. “Please don’t sleep in the tub, baby. It scares me. Come join us downstairs when you’re ready.” His thumb brushes my lips.

  I finish my bath and dress in my comfiest Capri sweats and tank. It’s just the three of us tonight, so there’s no need to dress up. When I get downstairs I see a large quilt on the floor. There’s music softly playi
ng through the stereo, but I don’t recognize the song. However, I know immediately who is singing. He isn’t, though. He’s sitting on the floor with my adorable daughter in his lap. Both are staring at me with big grins. “This is nice. I love picnics,” I say.

  Sierra tells us both, “I know. I told Garrett, Mama likes picnics and he said we’d have a very special picnic tonight. Ta Da,” she says, waving her hands around. Then I hear the song again. It’s on repeat. I listen more closely…

  Another week out on the road

  Aw. That’s just more time I spend away, away from you

  I know it seems like I’m always leavin’

  Always a trip or taking care of something it seems I must do

  But know that you’re always

  You’re on my mind

  And that I think…I think about you, all the time

  Please Love me. Love me and trust me, I’ll be home

  Because You…you are the reason, you keep me goin’

  Lights on the tarmac they’re always blinking

  And I’m Wondering where you are and what you are thinking

  Where ever I go it’s you I miss

  Yeah but you really keep me going, oh…with just one kiss

  And know that you’re always

  You’re on my mind

  And that I think…

  I say, I think about you all the time

  Please Love me and trust me, I’ll be home

  Because You, you are the reason…you keep me goin’

  Well, How can I convince you of my faithfulness

  When it feels, feels like it’s always, some kind of test

  Please Love me, love me and trust me, I’ll be home

  Because you, you are the reason…I say you, you are the reason

  You keep me goin’

  He’s not singing, but he’s listening with me and watching my reaction to every single lyric. I’m amazed…my precious man wrote this song. I think he wrote it for me. It ends. “You really keep me goin’, baby!” he says, standing up, sliding Sierra around to his back and walking over to me where I’m still standing in the middle of the room. He takes me in his arms and dances and serenades me along with the lyrics. It’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever experienced. There are no romantic television shows, or books, that could come close to being as precious as this. My little girl is clinging to Garrett’s back. I’m in his arms, and we dance and twirl all around our family picnic blanket over and over again.

  He’s perfect. We’re perfect. I will forever be grateful for the life that Jed started with me, the child he gave me, his advanced planning to make sure we were cared for, and for the countless other things he did. He was my best friend and I loved him dearly, but he was never the love of my life. I know that now. I think I always knew. But I had no idea what it would feel like to love and be loved this completely.

  We sit on the blanket and eat the massive amounts of food I’m positive Elizabeth provided. “Did you two sneaky creatures stop at Mimi’s house for take-out?” I ask.

  Sierra chimes in, “It’s the best, Mama. Mimi says we all need home cooked meals and she likes making our favorites. Pops said to tell you ‘Thank you’!”

  I know exactly what Pop’s is thanking me for. He says ’thank you’ to me every time he gets even a minute with Sierra, and he’s so happy about the new baby. I look to Garrett thinking that maybe he planned this special night to tell Sierra our news. “Garrett, do you have some news you’d like to share?” I ask.

  “Yes, actually, I do. I’ll be right back.” He runs off to the office and rushes back with two small packages.

  Sierra is sitting in my lap, humming along to the song still playing on repeat. Garrett sits down on the floor in front of us with his packages. “Sierra, this is for you,” he says, giving her a box. She opens it right away and slides a beautiful Tiffany & Co. charm bracelet out. It has a great little collection of charms already. He starts explain them.

  “Now, princess, this bracelet is special because this bracelet is our story,” he says to a captivated almost five year old. He points to the first charm. “This crown is because no matter how old you are, you’ll always be my little princess. Remember that.” I’m watching this unfold and desperately trying to hold the tears back. I had no idea he was going to do this.

  “And this star…is for your first time on stage with me. It was so much fun singing with you. This bear is to remember the day that I met you.”

  She pipes in, “Because you gave me the pink teddy bear.”

  “Yes, exactly! And this monkey was from our fun day at the Nashville Zoo. And this fish is for all the swims we take. I really like swimming with you. And this horseshoe is to remind you of our house in Nashville, with the horses, and the suitcase is to remind you that when I am away, I’m thinking of you.” She climbs out of my lap and into Garrett’s, so he can tell her about the last few charms.

  “These last three are really super special. This heart that says ‘I love you’ on it opens up. Let me show you.” And he stops to open the locket. Inside is a picture. Not a picture I was ever expecting Garrett to give to her. “Inside is a picture of your Daddy. He was really a very special and lucky guy. He loved you so much and I don’t ever want us to forget about him. I won’t ever be able to thank him enough for all the love he gave to help make you,” Garrett says, looking at my tear streaked face with his own glassy eyes. But we’re all smiling and happy.

  “Garrett, are you my daddy, too?” she asks with a curious face.

  “Yes, baby girl. For as long as you’ll have me. I’ll be your Daddy and I’ll do my best to be a good one,” he says, as Sierra jumps up and squeezes his neck.

  “Thank you, Daddy.”

  “Now this next one is a bit tricky. See I need your help with this one. This one has a ring on it. Now guys like me get lucky sometimes and get to fall in love with really special girls, like your Mama. I love her so much and I want her to be my wife,” he’s speaking to Sierra, but looking at me. “So this charm is for what’s in this next box, the box for Mama. I need your help asking her if she’ll please, pretty please, with cherries on top, marry me. Marry me and make us a family,” he says, pointing to us both. Then, he opens the box and it’s the most perfect ring. In fact, I’ve never seen a more beautiful ring. It’s gold with a solitaire in the center, and the bands are intertwining ropes holding the solitaire in place.

  “Sweetheart, I told you a while ago that we were all tied up in heartstrings and I meant it. This ring symbolizes it. That center stone, it’s my heart and all those ropes are wrapped right around your little finger,” he says, sliding it onto my ring finger. “I love you, Alexis, and all these heartstrings are holding us together. Please make me the happiest and luckiest guy on the planet. Marry us?” I’m a puddle of tears and Sierra is jumping up and down. She’s smiling so big and she’s cheering me on with excited little giggles.

  “Mommy, say yes. Please, say yes!” She’s still cheering.

  I look to Sierra and then Garrett. “Yes, I want to marry us, too. Yes, Garrett. I will marry you,” I’m saying through smiles and tears and excited cheers from Sierra.

  We’re all hugging and holding each other through our excitement.

  Chapter 39

  I think I knew she’d say yes eventually, but I never imagined that she’d say yes quite that fast. Sierra did perfectly, as I expected. She wasn’t in on it, but I knew pretty well what her reaction would be. I couldn’t imagine proposing to Alexis without Sierra. Sierra is a part of who Lex and I are together. She needed to be here. It had all been perfect. I bought the ring, believe it or not, two weeks ago, expecting to give it to her at the end of the tour. But damn, if my wishing on all those stars didn’t work out perfectly. I love these girls.

  “Daddy, what about this charm?” Sierra asks. She and Alexis are both sitting in my lap now.

  Alexis giggles…and I say, “Well, Sierra, that one is the best of all. Remember the day in the hospital wit
h Courtney, Drew, and baby Gabe?” I ask and she nods her head. “That day we talked about how babies were made. Remember?”

  She nods. “Yes, babies come from love,” she recites.

  “Yes they do…a lot of love. And we…Mama, you, me, all our family and friends had so much extra love to give that we, without even knowing it, made a baby inside your Mama’s tummy.” She looks to my stomach and rubs her fingers across my mid-section. “The baby is still growing and it’ll be a little while before we can meet him or her, but you, my princess, will be the best big sister in the whole world,” he says and Sierra cries her very first, in her whole life, happy tears.

  “I love us soooo much!” she says, squeezing us all together.

  “Yes, baby girl. I love us soo much, too!”

  No one will ever understand what Jed must have been feeling the day that his plane went down. He had heaven here on Earth with these two special girls. I’m not sure why things work out the way they do sometimes. But I’m forever grateful to him for what he gave when he was here walking among us. He has given me the most precious gifts, and I’m committed to never letting his memory die in our home.

  I want to be married as soon as possible. I hope Lex is on board for that. And I know exactly where we’re going for the honeymoon. M.I.C.K.E.Y. M.O.U.S.E. … I want to go to Disney World with these girls. I don’t care if I have to buy out the park for the day. There’s no other place that I’d rather take them.

  Epilogue - Seven months, Three weeks later

  “Mrs. McKenna, you’re ten centimeters dilated and ready to push,” the nurse says.