Indulge

by Liv Morris

  I look around aimlessly to find him. He has his back against the building, and he bends over as Matt’s fist connects with the brick instead of his face. Matt screams out in agony, grabbing his hand, and Slade takes advantage, charging Matt and wrapping his arms around his waist, taking him down to the ground. They roll around as I spot Micah kicking some guy on the ground.

  “We have to get you out of here,” Josh says as he helps me up off the ground, wrapping an arm underneath mine to keep me up.

  I try to fight him, but the pain in my side is making it hard. “No! I’m not leaving him!” I look over my shoulder and see Slade punch Matt in the face three consecutive times until Matt falls to the ground. Out cold. I let my body relax in Josh’s arms, knowing that Slade is no longer fighting. Josh helps me over to Micah’s truck where he drops his tailgate, he picks me up sitting me on top of it with my legs dangling over the back.

  “You’re covered in blood. Where are you hurt?” he asks, looking me over.

  “It’s...” deep breath, “not mine.” It’s so hard to breathe. “It’s Slade’s.” I bend over in pain. Shit, it hurts.

  “What’s wrong?” Slade asks, walking up glaring at me and breathing heavily.

  “Nothing.” I shake my head as I look at his torn shirt and jeans covered in dirt and blood. I put my hands on his chest, moving them around to feel for anything broken. He pulls away from me, shaking his head harshly and running a hand through his hair.

  “I’m going to ask one more time. What in the fuck were you thinking? Do you have a death wish? One hit from him, and you could have been killed!” he shouts.

  “I was trying to help you!” I scream back and instantly regret it. I grab my side and lay back into the truck, rolling onto my good side.

  “Fuck! Angel, where are you hurt?” I feel the truck shift as Slade jumps into the bed. He kneels down next to me. I try to sit up, but he has to help me.

  I shake my head. This is not about me. I wasn’t hit over and over by Matt’s fist. “I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not—”

  Police cars pull into the parking lot, putting a halt on our conversation.

  We spend the next hour explaining to the cops what happened as they arrest Matt and his friend. Micah and Slade know most of the cops that are on the scene, so they don’t have to do much explaining.

  “Miss. Hall, I need you to tell me how all this started,” a potbellied, bald headed officer named Kent said as he writes in his notepad.

  “I walked out of the restroom, and Matt was standing there. He said he had seen me go in there and was waiting for me. That he was going to take me home. He said Slade had told him I was his girlfriend, but that he knew Slade was lying, and that he was going to prove it to him. He told me Slade didn’t do girlfriends, and that everyone in town knew the girls Slade slept with were always available.”

  I take in a deep breath, trying to ignore the pain in my side. “I told him I wasn’t and that Slade would kick his ass if he touched me. That’s when he shoved me against the wall and screamed that Slade wouldn’t give a fuck what he did to me. That Slade would probably enjoy watching. Maybe even join him.” What he had said pissed me off!

  “Was that all?” Officer Kent asks, looking down at his notepad as he writes.

  “I screamed back in his face to go fuck himself, then the next thing I knew he was on the ground.”

  He nods as he continues to write, once he’s done he looks up at something behind me. “Slade, can I talk to you for a minute?”

  I take a shaky breath and turn around. I look up to see Slade standing there, looking like he could kill someone. A muscle in his jaw is twitching, his nostrils are flared, and his eyes are looking straight ahead to Officer Kent.

  He nods his head once and starts to walk away from me, but stops and turns around. He hands me his car keys, then walks away without saying a word. Guess he wants me to go wait in his car.

  I sit down slowly in the passenger seat, leaving the door open so I can try to hear what is going on, but Officer Kent and Slade have walked out of ear shot. I can still see them, though, and Slade looks stressed as he runs his hands through his hair a few times.

  He looks over, and his eyes lock on mine; I get a chill up my back that freezes me in my seat. He holds my stare for a few seconds, then looks back to Officer Kent without blinking. He is obviously extremely pissed…at me.

  I take in a shallow breath and lean back in the seat, closing my eyes. My side is killing me, and the rest of my body is getting achy. Probably because all my adrenaline is now gone.

  “Are you okay? I saw you hit that concrete barrier,” Holly says as she kneels down by my door.

  “I’m fine. Don’t say anything. I’m not going to the hospital.” I shake my head. She doesn’t look happy with my answer. “Are Slade and the guys going to get into trouble?”

  “No, they know all these cops. Any one of these cops would have stood up for their girl. I’m just glad Matt and his friend got arrested.”

  “Me too.”

  I hear the driver side door open as Slade gets in.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow to check on you.”

  “Thanks, love you.”

  “Love you too.” She leans down giving me a soft hug before she closes my door and walks off.

  We take off, and I notice he’s driving in the direction of his house. I figured he would take me home because it’s not like he’s hiding the fact that he’s mad at me. The drive to his house is silent. I don’t know if he’s mad at me or just mad about the entire situation, but I just wanted to help him. How can he be pissed about that?

  My mind wanders back to all the stuff Matt said to me. I know Slade lied to him and told him I was his girlfriend; I just can’t figure out why he said it. And why did Matt all of a sudden want me? I had seen him around Larry’s quite a few times, and he had never even spoken to me.

  We pull up in his garage, and Slade turns off the car and exits. He comes around to my side and helps me out of the car without saying a word. My entire body aches, though my hand actually hurts the least compared to the rest of me.

  Slade lets go of me and walks to the back of the car as I walk my way to the door. I walk in the house and stop in the hallway. Slade is still in the garage getting my bag out of the trunk. I continue to stand there as he walks into the house. I don’t know what to do or say. He comes up next to me, taking my hand in his, and pulls me towards his bedroom. Thank God it was the non-injured hand because he’s got a tight grip on it.

  Once we enter his room, he lets go of my hand and continues to walk as I stand in the doorway, not really knowing what to do. I decide to take off my heels that are now scuffed beyond repair. I’m actually surprised the heels didn’t break off. I have to place a hand on the door to hold myself up while bending over. Once they’re off, I continue to stand there, watching him. He’s pacing back and forth at the end of his bed, looking down at the floor while running his hand through his hair.

  I clear my throat. “I’m sorry.” I don’t know what else to say. This all started because of me. In retrospect, I know sorry won’t come close to what can fix it.

  “Sorry,” he says above a whisper like he’s trying to believe me as he continues to pace, not looking at me.

  I wrap my arms around my chest, thinking they can save me from all the pain my body is feeling right now. The more I stand here, the more pain I start to feel. I have a pounding headache, and my neck is very sore. I keep having shooting pains up my side, and my arms ache where Matt grabbed them as he shoved me up against the wall. I can feel cuts and bruises on my legs from where I rolled around on the ground.

  I close my eyes as I take short, shallow breaths. They don’t hurt as much as the deep ones. I open my eyes, and Slade is towering over me with that killer look on his face, and his arms crossed over his massive chest. I take a step back.

  “What the fuck were you thinking?” He asks it so calmly that it scares me.

  “W
hy do you keep asking me that question?” I whisper, looking at the floor. “I told you why. You needed help. Micah was fighting someone else, and I didn’t know where Josh was.”

  He gives a dark laugh that makes me flinch. “And you thought you could help me?” He asks amused. “You weigh about a hundred and ten pounds. If that! I was fighting a man who weighs over two hundred. It was an idiotic move, and you know it!”

  I swallow. He’s right. It was.

  “I’m sorry,” I say again because I have nothing else to say for myself. I just wanted to help him out, but now that I think of it, it was stupid that I hit Matt. It was just a split second decision.

  I look up at him, and he throws his hands up in the air.

  “You’re sorry? Sorry? Quit saying you’re fucking sorry!” He turns away from me and punches the bedroom door so hard that he puts a hole in it.

  I yelp as I take several steps back into the hallway. My throat closes, and tears well up in my eyes while I watch the pieces fall on to the carpet, some covered in blood.

  “Fuck!” he continues to yell as he takes his head in both of his hands and turns away from me. “God damn it, Angel!”

  I had just wanted to help him.

  “I’m sorry,” I say again, whispering. “I got tired of watching you get hit,” I add shakily as I feel a tear run down my face. “I was drunk and confused, trying to keep up with what was happening around me. I yelled at you to stop, but you wouldn’t.” I shake my head, looking at the floor. “Then, when you did stop, he came at you from behind. And it was my fault you got punched in the face. I saw blood running from your mouth, and I wanted to help you.

  “Yes, I agree that trying to step in was stupid, but I was afraid for you. I didn’t want him to hurt you.” I take a deep breath, and it makes me cry because of the pain in my side. “I knew I wouldn’t be able to do much,” I take in another shallow breath, “but I couldn’t just sit back and watch him hit you.”

  I rub my crossed hands up and down my sides. “I wasn’t going to leave you,” I whisper. “I’m sorry. This all started because of me. It was my fault, but I’m not the type of person that could just leave you there.” A sob rips through my throat and I can’t hold it back. I back up until I hit the wall in the hallway and slide down it, bending my knees to my chest. The position actually helps with the pain in my side. I put my forehead to my knees and cry like a child.

  The only sound in the house is my cries. I feel on the verge of hysterics, so I take a few breaths to try to calm down. I know he’s still standing there, watching me cry my eyes out, but I can’t hold the tears back. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My emotions are going every which way. I just couldn’t sit back and do nothing. Couldn’t he understand that?

  I’m still trying to calm myself down when Slade’s phone rings.

  “Hello?” he snaps. I refuse to look up at him. “No, she didn’t tell me.” A new wave of pain runs through my body as I stiffens, knowing Holly or Josh just ratted me out about hitting my side. “Yeah, I’ll make sure to take a look at it. Thanks for telling me. And Josh...” there’s a pause, “thanks.”

  I just sit there, hiding my head. I don’t want to be yelled at anymore for something I thought was the right thing to do. I need to quit crying like a baby and pull myself together. My dad always told me to fight for what I knew was right, and I know that no matter how small or weak I am, that trying to help Slade was the right thing to do.

  I’m done apologizing for it!

  Chapter Eleven

  What the fuck was she thinking? What the fuck was I thinking?

  I throw my phone on the bed. I am so fucking pissed that I can’t think straight. I have never hated myself as much as I do right now. I could have lost her tonight. Matt could have killed her, all because I got in his face and pissed him off. All because I let my mouth and my temper get the best of me.

  I watch Angel cry while she sits on the floor. Then I turn to look at the hole in the door. Fuck! Now she’s probably scared to death of me. That’s just fucking fantastic. I spin around and head to my bathroom. We both could use a shower.

  I turn on the shower and stand there, thinking about what happened. I have never felt so terrified. Not for myself, but for her. I felt a great sense of pride when she punched Matt in the face. I thought he was going to hurt her; I never imagined she would stand up to him, she was pretty much welcoming him to do just that.

  I hated hearing her screaming my name when Josh was carrying her out. It tore me apart, but I needed her to get somewhere safe.

  I need to talk to her; let her know I’m not mad at her. I’m mad at myself for heading outside where I knew she was. When I saw her kicking and screaming, saying she didn’t want to leave me, I just had to let her know I was okay. Fuck, that was stupid! I should have never told Josh to put her down, but I just had to see she was alright. Instead, she ended up injured when Matt took us both to the ground.

  I take a deep breath to tone down my anger, and go get her. It makes my chest ache to see her upset, especially knowing I’m the one responsible.

  “I’m sorry,” I say as I look down at her. I’m still pissed, but I need her to understand I’m pissed at myself, not her. “Angel?” She doesn’t respond. “Angel, come on. Get up. Let me help get you cleaned up in the shower.”

  She shakes her head lightly. “I just want to go home,” she mumbles into her legs.

  “I know you’re hurting. Please, let me take a look at you.” I hear another sob and I bend down to kneel in front of her. I reach out and grab her arms, thinking maybe she needs help standing, but she jerks away with a cry of pain. “Sorry,” I whisper.

  I wish I could take it away. I hate that she is hurting and won’t let me help her. How could I have let this happen? How could I have put her in this situation?

  She stands slowly, not looking at me. I don’t know if she’s scared of me now, or just mad at me. I don’t blame her if it is both.

  “Angel, at least talk to me. What hurts?” I ask as she walks past me.

  “Oh, now you want to talk?” she screams as she turns to face me. “How dare you talk to me like that! I’m done apologizing for trying to help your ass out.”

  “Angel, I—”

  She sobs again, cutting me off as her anger fades away. “Just stop, Slade.” she says as she cries, shaking her head. “Please, just leave me alone.”

  I stand back, giving her some room. Her face is red and wet from the tears running down her face. I go to reach my hand out to her; I want to pull her into my chest and hold her to prove to myself she’s ok, but she turns and heads into the bathroom.

  I decide giving her space is probably the best thing for her right now. I did just scream at her and punch a hole in the door fifteen minutes ago. I sit on the edge of the bed. Fuck, how did this night get so bad in a matter of minutes? I run a hand through my hair. I listen closely, but don’t hear her crying anymore. Actually, all I can hear is the shower. I stand up to go check on her.

  “Angel?” I say lightly. She is standing in front of the shower with her back to me, still dressed.

  “If you’re going to scream at me, you can just forget it. I don’t want to listen to anything you have to say.” She keeps her back to me, but she didn’t raise her voice.

  “I’m sorry for screaming at you. Look, you scared the shit out of me. You said you were worried about me? Well, I was terrified.” I sigh “Terrified something was going to happen to you. You have to understand. I’ve never known that kind of fear before. I admit I was wrong for screaming at you, but I was just so terrified you were going to get hurt. Then I saw you punch Matt, and I was proud that you had the courage to do it, no matter how dumb it was of you. But when I saw you lying on the ground outside…I couldn’t keep my anger in anymore.”

  She still has her back to me, so I walk up to her, put my hands on her shoulders, and slowly turn her around. Her heartbreaking look has vanished, replaced by a look that says she’d rather I be dead
than talking to her. Her mouth is set in a hard line, and her eyes look dark as they bore into mine. I reach up and rub what’s left of the tears and mascara off of her face.

  “I was so worried about your safety. I was never mad at you. I was mad at myself.” I cup her cheek in my palm. “I just found you, Angel. I was afraid that I was already going to lose you.”

  Her face relaxes as she pushes her body to mine and hugs me. I feel instant relief. I hug her back gently, not wanting to hurt her. This night could have ended very differently. I’m just glad she is safe in my arms.

  “I’m so sorry for yelling at you and punching the door. So very sorry, Angel.” I kiss her hair gently, then pull her away from me and look in her green eyes. “You know I would never hurt you, right?” I feel the need to say that again before she can answer. “I would never hurt you, Angel. Never. I was just so mad, and I wanted to hit Matt all over again.”

  “I know you wouldn’t,” she says as her green eyes look into mine.

  I let out a long breath. “Promise me that if something like that ever happens again you’ll run?”

  She nods her head.

  “No, say it.”

  “I will run to get help.”

  I pull her back to me, knowing she will never run. She’s a fighter, and I can’t change that. She may look small, and feel small when I hold her in my arms, but she is very brave and strong. And as much as I was scared, I also love that’s she’s not afraid to stand up to someone.

  “Come on, let’s get you out of these clothes. I want to see where you hit your side.” She nods and pulls away from me. I begin unbuttoning her shirt without waiting for her permission. I keep my eyes on hers as I undo all the buttons, then I put my hands on her shoulders and slowly slide her shirt down her arms. I catch sight of bruises on her arms, and I feel all the air leave my lungs as if someone just punched me.

  “How did you get these?” I ask in disbelief. I run my fingers lightly over them; they are a deep red color in the shape of finger prints. They are located just below her shoulders, an odd place to have bruises if you ask me. Maybe I gave them to her when we were pushed down.