Indulge

by Liv Morris

  “Well you already know I have a son and I’m a teacher. What else do you want to know?”

  “What brought you here? Where did you grow up?”

  “So many questions,” she says, drinking her wine. “I grew up in California and moved her a few years ago. I needed a fresh start.” She lets out an uneasy laugh.

  I watch Abigail and see her body starting to become rigid so I decide to change the topic, but before I do our server comes to the table and hands us both a menu. “I’ll give you some time to look through the menu and if you have any questions, please let me know.”

  “Will do, thank you.”

  Abigail looks at the menu and her nose squishes into her face. God, that face is adorable and she’s remarkable. Most women wouldn’t care about the price of the food or anything else but Abigail is different and I want to know more. “Order anything you like, please.”

  “Hmmm,” she taps her finger against her lips. “Can we start with pan-seared scallops?”

  “Certainly. Would you like anything else?”

  “Ummm the filet halibut with braised fennel sounds good. What are you getting?”

  I put the menu down, “The roasted lobster tail and baby artichoke sounds good.”

  “It does sound good!”

  Our server comes back and I put in our orders. Abigail leans back in her chair with her wine and I hear her let out a gentle sigh. Tonight is going well. She’s relaxed and now maybe she’ll start letting me in.

  Our food starts arriving and the conversation with Abigail is nice. She feeds me her halibut and I give her some of my lobster. I can’t stop looking at her smile and see the happiness gleaming in her eyes. When we finish dinner, I take Abigail’s hand and lead her back to the limo. We don’t say much and I can’t stop looking at her. The way she looks keeps me in awe. She looks like she’s thinking too much again and won’t look at me. “Abigail?”

  She turns her head and smiles. “Yes?”

  I move closer to her and place my arm around her shoulders. I feel her tension and wonder what’s on her mind. She looks out the window and ignores me while we drive back to her house. I don’t want to scare her. “What’s wrong?”

  She sighs, “Nothing. This is just all new to me.”

  “This is new to me as well.”

  She shoots a look at me, “Really? Then who was that woman in the bar and the one you were on the phone with?”

  Oh fuck. I should tell her about Madison. I don’t want to ruin this night. “She was a friend. We had a relationship but she started to develop feelings I couldn’t return and I broke it off with her.” I hope she doesn’t think differently of me. I look at her but I can’t read what she is thinking. “Are you upset?”

  “Why would I be?”

  Abigail’s voice is like a dagger cutting me. There is ice and pain. She looks away from me again and I don’t know what else to say.

  We get back to her house after an uncomfortable ride back. Gary opens the door and I get out. I reach my hand for hers and she takes it reluctantly. “Abigail, I’d love to see you again. Tonight has been amazing.”

  She shakes her head. “I can’t be who you want me to be in your life. I can be your friend Jacob and that’s it.”

  She begins to walk away but I can’t let her go. I grab her hand and bring her close to me. “Not if I have a say in the matter.” My lips crash into hers. The softness of her lips brings me great pleasure. I drag my hand through her hair and her body falls limp in my arms. I hear the soft moans coming from her beautiful lips. I slide my tongue along the bottom of her lip and when she opens her mouth my tongue goes in exploring her. Kissing her is incredible. My hands rest on her back as her hands run through my hair. I want her to be mine. She needs to know how much I care about her and how she is always on my mind.

  I break away from her and look at her, “I want you to know how I feel.”

  “I’m just scared.” Abigail’s forehead rests on mine and I can see the sadness in her eyes. “I like you Jacob. A lot.”

  “I like you a lot too Abigail and I want to give us a try. I can make you happy and I know you’re nervous but so am I.” A give her another kiss on her lips. “Just try.”

  *****

  Gary drops me off and I make my way into my loft. I think about the date with Abigail and feel better knowing she’ll think about giving us a try. I walk over to my mini bar and pour myself a glass of scotch, but then I feel her behind me. I turn around and Katherine is sitting at the kitchen island with a smile on her face. “Did you have fun tonight?”

  I finish pouring my drink and take a sip. I look at her and try to figure out if I’m dreaming or if this is real. “I did, thank you.” I walk over to her and set the glass down. “Am I imagining this?”

  “Kind of. You see Jacob, I can’t move on until I know you’re happy. Let yourself be happy. She’s a wonderful person and I know she can make you happy. I don’t want you to be alone anymore.”

  I run my hand through my hair. “I don’t want to be alone either but I miss you Katherine. Every day.”

  She touches my arm. “I know you do but that part of your life is over and it’s time to move on. Trust me, you’ll be okay.”

  She lets go of my arm and when I look back she’s gone and here I am alone in the dark.

  I take out my phone to text Abigail.

  Me: Are you sleeping?

  I wait for her response, walking to my room and get ready for bed.

  Abigail: No but I’m in bed. What’s wrong? Are you okay?

  I decide to call her. I need to hear her beautiful voice. Her phone rings twice before she answers.

  “Jacob? Are you okay?”

  I let out a sigh. “Yeah. I wanted to hear your voice. Am I bothering you?”

  “No of course not.” Damn her voice.

  “I’m glad you had fun tonight.” There’s rustling on the other end of the phone. I wonder what she’s doing. “I was hoping to see you again soon.”

  “I’d love that.” There’s the smile in her voice. It makes me think, finding Abigail and falling for her. The connection I have with her scares me. Can I make her happy?

  “Me too.” We talk for a few more minutes about the date and Lucas. I don’t want to get off the phone with her but she’s getting tired. “Go to bed sweetheart. I’ll talk to you soon, alright?”

  “Sounds good. Night Jacob.”

  I smile, “night sweetheart.” For the first time in a while I fall asleep with a smile on my face.

  Chapter 14

  Abigail

  Jacob comes over every other night for the past few weeks. He plays with Lucas and talks to Heather about the business. Lucas jumps up and down when Jacob pulls in and runs to the door to greet him. It’s sweet to see how they are together. Jacob listens to Lucas when he talks and is attentive. We tuck in Lucas together and spend the rest of the night talking and drinking wine. The way he looks at me makes me nervous but happy. He’s constantly watching me and I feel confident and beautiful with him. There’s nothing else I want than to be in his arms each night. He hasn’t spent the night and each time we say good night, a part of me is sad and wishes he would stay. My heart beats for Jacob and every day I’m learning how to fall for him, possibly even love him.

  I know he sees me as more than a friend. Everyone that sees us together looks at us with awe and smiles. Every time our eyes meet I see the love he feels, but if only I can fully trust him.

  Marilyn and I researched him one day and saw multiple pictures and articles. There was one that caught my eye. Rumored magazine had it that Jacob was linked with supermodel Audrina and he was going to propose to her. There were pictures of them kissing and holding hands. It made me sick and sad. This was why I couldn’t be with him. She’s absolutely gorgeous and I’m just me. I’m not a supermodel or rich or fancy. I lived a simple life as a teacher, mother, friend and sister. But then there was an article about Katherine and how Jacob was the sole survivor of the accident that ki
lled her. I told Marilyn about it and she said I needed to tell him but how could I? I didn’t really want to bring up the past. Ryan wasn’t in Lucas’ life and Katherine has been dead for three years now.

  Jacob’s coming over this evening and I keep playing Marilyn’s words over and over again. A part of me wants to tell him about Katherine and Ryan but I can’t do it. He can’t know about my connection with Ryan and Katherine. I have worked too hard for this to unravel.

  The door bells rings interrupting my thoughts. Lucas runs up to answer the door. Dinner is almost ready. I have the chicken baking in the oven and the vegetables boiling on top of the stove. The rice is all set and Heather is finishing up putting together the dinner table. I take in a deep breath and forget about how Katherine and Jacob used to be in love. It kills me to think I have this secret and it’s just eating away at me. I flip flop in my head if I should even tell him. What difference will it make?

  All of a sudden his arms wrap around my waist and he rests his chin on my shoulder. “Hi beautiful,” he says while kissing my cheek. “How was your day?”

  I look at him and kiss the top of his nose. “Better now.”

  Jacob and Lucas bring the platters of food out to the table. We all sit down. Lucas and Heather are on one side while Jacob and I are on the other. It feels good to have all of us together, but I still feel uncomfortable being around Jacob and keeping this secret from him. Jacob takes my hand and squeezes it. He shows me his reassuring smile and I melt inside. Why does he have this power over me?

  We listen to Lucas talk about how excited he is that school is almost over.

  “Jacob you have to come with us to the beach on Sundays when summer is here!”

  Heather and I look at each other with alarm. Beach. Sundays. Jacob. Bathing suit. Oh no. “Honey, Jacob is probably so busy with everything!”

  “Little man thank you for the offer. I’d love to join everyone on beach Sundays!” Jacob looks at me and grins again. Of course he’d want to come along with us.

  “Oh this will be fun,” Heather says laughing softly. I give her the death glare causing her to laugh more.

  Jacob leans in and whispers, “Seeing you in a bathing suit sounds hot. I know you want to see more of me.”

  I’m so dead.

  After dinner Jacob and I sit outside on the deck drinking wine and talking. He tells me about his life and his work while I sit and listen.

  “Your life sounds busy.” My voice trails off and I look away from him.

  “Don’t do that Abigail.”

  “Do what?”

  He brings himself closer to me and pulls my face closer to his. “Don’t look away from me. Even though I’m busy it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t drop what I’m doing to come see you. You can always call me, day or night. I know it’s only been a few weeks, but I’m falling for you Abigail.” He brings his lips to mine and we share a kiss.

  “Jacob, you shouldn’t have done that.” I’m breathless and want more. I want him so badly.

  He touches my face again and smiles. “I know I shouldn’t have done that but I wanted to.” He kisses me again. “Is this okay?”

  I smile and nod my head. I bring my lips to his again and we share this special moment under the night skies.

  Jacob’s deep voice interrupts our moment. “So about seeing you in a bathing suit,” he laughs while holding onto my hand. He gets up and stands in front of me, “Dance with me.” Jacob’s hand extends to mine and I take his. He twirls me around and wraps his arms around my waist. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”

  I blush and place my head on his shoulder. “You aren’t so bad yourself.”

  We stay like this for a while and it’s an indescribable feeling. This beautiful man is amazing and I can’t wait to see what else happens between us.

  * * * * *

  “Is it bad that I’m falling for him already?”

  Marilyn looks at me with fascination in her eyes. We’re having lunch together while Lucas is out with Heather. “Girl why are you here with me again? Don’t get me wrong I love our girl dates, but you have a fine piece of ass waiting for you!”

  I can’t help and laugh. She’s right. I should be with Jacob, but I don’t want to get too close. He hasn’t shown me any signs that he doesn’t want to be with me yet I need to keep a piece of myself to me. We’re still not official I guess. I’m not sure what we are and it’s killing me to find out. “I know you’re right,” I laugh eating my salad.

  Jacob’s been incredible. We spend the nights talking on the phone, getting to know one another and taking things slow. Very slow. When he leaves after spending the night with Lucas and I, he leaves me feeling helpless and achy. Thor isn’t doing it for me anymore. I wonder why Jacob is taking his time, but I won’t ask him. How will that make me look?

  Every day after work Jacob comes over and spends time with us. He helps Lucas with his homework and they read together. It’s nice seeing them together. Lucas loves him and waits by the door for Jacob to come over. Things are great and that scares me. How long will we be this happy before he gets bored?

  “Stop thinking!”

  I play around with the lettuce on my plate. “I can’t help it.”

  Marilyn shakes her head and lectures me about letting Jacob in and realizing that I need to be happy. She’s right. I do.

  After lunch I decide to surprise Jacob. He should be home by now after spending time with Logan. I run to a nearby café and order him his favorite sandwich; grilled chicken breast sandwich on multigrain bread with olives, banana peppers, spinach and olive oil. I take out my phone and send a text to Jacob.

  Me: How was your day?

  Jacob: Great. Logan and I finished some things around his house and Mila kept me busy with her tea party

  Me: Sounds fun. Are you home?

  Jacob: Yeah just walked in. Where are you?

  Me: Heading home now. Maybe we can hang out tonight.

  I smile pressing send. The elevator dings and I walk out heading towards his loft.

  Jacob: Sounds good sweetheart. I’ll see you later?

  Me: Ok =)

  When I get to his door I freeze. Am I doing the right thing? Will this be weird showing up uninvited? I shake away the thoughts and get the courage I need to knock on his door. I hear footsteps and hold my breath.

  ”Abigail?” He asks opening the door with a smile on his face.

  “Hi! I wanted to surprise you,” I answer holding up the bag from the café.

  He reaches for my hand and pulls me in. “Best surprise.” We share a kiss and I melt in his arms. I love this feeling and never want it to go away.

  Chapter 15

  Jacob

  Abigail and I have been growing closer but we’re taking it slow and I don’t want to pressure her. Spending nearly every night with her has been the best feeling. I’ve asked her what we’re considered as far as a relationship, but she won’t make it official. I know she was nervous about who I am and committing to us but I won’t give up. I haven’t seen Katherine like I used to and I think I figured out what she meant about being patient. I’ve learned so much about her and each day my feelings for her grow. She opened herself up to me one night while we were eating dinner at Pestello’s, an Italian restaurant both her and I enjoyed going to. We talked about Lucas and how happy he’s been lately. I’ve grown to love Lucas and the bond I have with him doesn’t scare me; it makes me feel wanted and needed. I held Abigail’s hand as she told me her fears. When I asked about Lucas’ father, she waved her hand and let out a laugh. She explained he walked out on her when she was two months pregnant and hasn’t heard from him since.

  Mother wants us to come over for dinner. This will be the first time I will be introducing my family to Abigail and Lucas. We’re all nervous, especially Abigail. I sit in my car and look at the empty passenger seat when Katherine appears. She’s smiling and looking beautiful as ever. “Hi Jacob.”

  “Katherine.”

  She touches my a
rm and gives me a comforting squeeze. “Today’s a big day huh?” I laugh and rub the back of my head. “Go get them. Today will be great. You can do this Jacob.”

  Before I can say anything, she disappears. I let out a few deep breaths and open my heart to the two people I love and care about. I go up to the door and ring the doorbell. Abigail answers and she takes my breath away. “Hi.”

  “Hi.” She leans in and wraps her arms around my neck. “You don’t have to knock you know.” I pull away from her and give her a questioning look. “Look at your key ring.” I do and notice another key.

  “You gave me your house key?” She nods and I know she’s a little embarrassed. I kiss her on her lips. “I’m sorry I didn’t know.”

  “It’s okay.” She gives me her warm smile again and we call Lucas to come down.

  The thirty minute drive to my parent’s house is nice. Lucas talks about nearly everything known to man as I hold Abigail’s hand. She still won’t look at me so I give her a few squeezes to calm her down a little. “Where’s my smile?” She turns her face to me and my heart wildly beats. “There it is.” I bring her hand to my lips and continue to drive.

  We pull up to my childhood home and I hear Abigail holding her breath.

  “Whoa! You lived in a castle!” Lucas brings himself closer to us. His mouth drops open and I can tell he’s excited.

  I park the car behind Logan’s white Porsche Cayenne. Here we go. I open my door and go around to open Abigail’s. When she gets out, Lucas follows behind her and he takes my hand. Mother, Hayden and Mila come running out.

  “Uncle Jacob!” Mila squeals as she runs to me. I let go of Abigail and pick her up.

  “Hi baby girl.” I give her a kiss on her cheek and tickle her.

  “Stop Uncle Jacob!”

  Mother and Hayden look at Abigail and Lucas with a smile on their face. “Mother. Hayden. This is Abigail Anderson and her son Lucas.”