New thoughts of dark behavior swirled through Luke’s mind. Ideas of ending a life that he deemed a failure, were consuming the remaining sane parts of his brain. Luke summed up the events that led to his decision of demise. He realized that there is only so much a man can take.
Luke finally fell asleep at a quarter to five. His final thought was the procedure he was going to take to end the misery. The idea that he would suffer until the moment of his death didn’t seem rational. Total physical harm versus complete shutdown of bodily functions seemed to be the argument. Popping large amounts of medication and falling into a deep sleep seemed to be the best approach to ending a terrible life.
The next morning, Luke prepared himself with a warm shower, followed by a quick cleansing of his teeth. He dressed into his buttoned down pink shirt with slim khaki pants. He placed a ball cap on his head, grabbed his sunglasses and phone and headed out the door.
On his way into town, Luke decided to call a few people before continuing any further. He started with his father. He dials Michael’s number and waited as he was picked up by voicemail. Nervous and scared, Luke recorded, “Hey, Dad, it’s me, Luke. I just wanted to apologize for not calling you back or even for not answering when you call. Uh… I just want you to know that I love you and that I will try calling you back again later Goodbye, Dad.”
By the afternoon, Luke had made it through every important contact in his phone. Apologizing to each for his change in personality in a casual and relaxed way, he was now ready to continue.
As the clock struck three in the afternoon, Luke was walking out of the pharmacy and headed to the liquor store. Shame was starting to set in as he began fully realizing the decision he was making for the night’s big event. But Luke also kept in mind that there was no going back. He had fallen into a life that had no rewards, a life that brought him misery and depression. He knew in his mind that he wasn’t going to live like that any longer than he had to.
Thirty three minutes after four, Luke sat on the edge of his bed, pondering his method of permanent demise. Luke prepared himself one last drink and consumed the entire amount as he rose and headed into his bathroom.
Luke pulled his phone from his pocket, and saw that the time was five minutes after six in the evening. He placed the phone on his dresser and walked into his bathroom. He leaned with both his arms placed on the counter. Staring into the mirror, he noticed the physical damage the depression has caused him. His eyes had become long and strained his skin pale and his forehead wrinkled.
He opened the bottle of pills and filled his hand with the remaining white tablets in the palm of his hand. He took a deep breath and slowly moved his damaged right hand towards his mouth. But before he could consume the pills he heard his phone ring. Debating whether or not he should answer it, Luke thought about the possibility of it being his father calling him back. He quickly set the pills on the counter and rushed to his phone. A number on his screen seemed familiar but not entirely. Luke answered with caution, “Hello?”
“Hello, Luke, this is Marion. I’m so sorry to be calling you. I just -I just didn’t have anyone else to talk to. I hope that you are okay with it. If it’s a bother, I can let you go.”
Luke, without hesitation, encouraged her request to speak.
“Again, I’m sorry that I’m calling you. I know that we aren’t on the best of terms. But, you were always the best at advice and I wanted to maybe treat you to dinner at the ‘Powerhouse’ if you don’t mind talking with me.”
Luke agreed to meet up with Marion. He figured maybe it was the last piece he needed to tie up what was left of his legacy. So he threw on a t-shirt, shorts and flip flops. He washed his face and cleaned his mouth from the scent of alcohol. He splashed on a bit of after shave in a self-conscious effort to cover any remaining smells of booze.
He picked up his keys, phone and wallet and headed out the door. He drove to campus and parked his vehicle around the corner from the restaurant. He stepped out and immediately shook the cigarette ash from his shorts. He placed his keys in his front right pocket and walked towards the establishment.
Luke walked in and saw Marion sitting to his left. She looked up at him and expressed total shock at what she saw. Quickly approaching Luke, she said, “Oh my God, Luke! What happened to your hand?”
“I uh…,’ Luke stammered, ‘I… I uh… broke it.”
“How did you do that?
“Well, you know that girl that I was seeing, Anna?”
“Yes.”
“Well, things didn’t end up so well between me and her.”
“Please,” Marion asked, “tell me more.”
Luke began telling Marion the story between Anna and him.
Over forty minutes into the story, Luke declared the completion of the story by ending it with his planned suicide attempt. Marion looked at him with sympathy in her eyes.
She rubbed his left shoulder with her right hand and said, “Wow, Luke. That’s a crazy story. I’m sorry that happened to you.”
“I just don’t know why it happened, you know?”
Marion looked at him for a second before being hit with an epiphany. “Luke, don’t you get it? She’s a sociopath? My mom used to call them ‘chameleons.’ I mean, that’s not that uncommon! She just adapts to wherever she is and whoever she is around. I mean, I’m sure you aren’t the only person that she has done this to. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.”
Luke looked at Marion and with a confused expression covering his face, he asked, “What… how did you get chameleon from sociopath?”
“Well, it’s like a personality trait. Like, you are what they would describe as a mimic, coming from a copycat style personality. I knew that the entire time we dated. You are the type that when you are seeing someone, you just copy certain things about that person so that you can relate better with them.”
Luke took a sip from his drink and while taking in all that Marion was proposing, he responded, “Well, then what social label are you?”
Marion laughed, handing Luke a dry napkin. She prepared her sweet tea, then answered, “I’m a bitch. Honestly, because I just don’t give a shit about anything. Unfortunately, that’s why we are here today. I have managed to screw up another relationship.”
The two continued discussing the very matters that brought them there that day. Marion poured her heart out as she walked Luke through her story of meeting the perfect man and then cheating on him. She admitted that it was the same person from when she and Luke had dated.
Luke tried to comfort Marion and realized that his words weren’t doing as well as he had hoped they would. He tried explaining to her that he felt that he wasn’t the best person in the world to talk to when it came to love, especially since he was in that same boat as Marion, just over a year ago.
But Luke continued to sit with Marion and hear everything she had to say. He listened to every word, and with every piece of advice he provided to her, he felt better about himself. It was as though he had found a reason to live.
The night continued and the two decided to take a walk around campus. They continued talking until they reached Marion’s dormitory. Luke walked her up to her room and right before she closed the door, she stated, “I’m glad you came out tonight. It really helped. It kind of makes me think about what would have happened between us if it wasn’t for me screwing it up. I’m sorry about that, Luke. You are a great guy, and I owe you for everything. Goodnight.”
Marion smiled, slowly shutting the door. Luke turned around and walked down the stairs and out the front of the building, enjoying a long forgotten smile.
Chapter 20
It was the beginning of December, and several weeks had gone by since Luke had met with Marion and just as long since he had heard from Anna and Calvin. Each day became better for Luke. He started feeling more focused. The spark returned to his life. But with so much damage already done, he knew it was finally time to repair and move on.
Luke woke with a change in his attitude. He
felt motivated and healthy. He stepped into his bathroom for a quick shower and to brush his teeth. While placing his tooth brush back into its designated place, he noticed the scattered pills underneath a red stained towel, next to his sink. He smiled as he picked the pills up, placed them back into their container and threw it into his garbage can.
Luke then made his bed, reached for his phone and keys, walked out the door. He took a drive to campus in hopes of recovering the semester. In the back of his mind, he knew that there was no chance he would be able to claim the semester and still have a chance to finish school.
Luke decided to see the head of the department for his major. He felt certain that the department head would have more options for him. He remained nervous the entire time he walked through the liberal arts building. The feeling remained as he climbed the stairs to the administrative offices.
He took a seat outside of the department’s main office area. He placed his bag next to his chair and sat next to a seemingly tall gentleman. Luke looked over his transcripts and felt the stranger looking over his shoulder. Luke concealed his information and directed his attention towards the intruding gentleman.
“I’m sorry, do I know you or something?”
“Are you Luke, the next victim? I’m Jason. I used to date Anna. Let me guess, Calvin Quigley?”
Luke’s mouth dropped open in shock, causing him to lose his grip on the small stack of papers in his lap and feels them slide down his leg and hit the floor. Struggling to retrieve his important documents, he said with strong confusion, “You’re Jason? How did you know who I was?”
“I guess it was over a year ago now. I was at a concert downtown and I ran into Anna. We talked and she told me that she was seeing somebody. I could tell that she was just trying to make me jealous. She pointed to a group of people, singling you out. She told me that she was done with her high school sweetheart, Calvin, for good and that she was ‘moving on to greener pastures’.”
“But was that you that was dancing with her?”
Jason laughed as he helped Luke remove a sheet of paper from under his chair. He handed it to Luke.
“Yeah, I’m afraid so. You see, Anna is that type of person that goes crazy for people she can’t get. I walked away from her and hung out with some of my friends, so she followed me and just stood in front of me and started rubbing on my body… I still remember the night I caught her text messaging Calvin, I confronted her and I told her that I was done with all of it. I packed up my stuff from her house and took off. I actually transferred to the Long Beach campus and graduated there. Now I’m back here and applying for graduate school.”
Luke continued to look at Jason, realizing the many questions he must have for the new stranger. He thought further but drew a blank. He focused his attention on Jason and said as he was called into the office, “Jason, it was a pleasure meeting you, man. You seem like a really cool dude. Good luck on everything, I hope to see you again. Maybe next semester we can get together and have a beer.”
“Yeah,” Jason agreed, shaking Luke’s hand, “that would be really cool, man.”
Luke arrived at the tall solid oak doors and entered. He walked up to the wrap around desk that held a very attractive young secretary. He introduced himself and confessed the reason for his presence that day.
Luke entered the department head’s office. He sat in a more comfortable chair and began his plea.
“I have never in my entire college career felt the need to remove from a semester. But I had a lot of issues going on these last couple of months. I felt emotionally compromised and I ask if there is anything that I can do. I know that it is too late to make up the work from my courses, but I want to make it up, preferably without academic discipline.”
The professor looked on and listened. He picked up a stack of papers and declares that he has looked over Luke’s transcripts. He placed the sheets back on his desk and said,
“Lucas Cardellini, you aren’t a bad student. This is your third semester here and I know that you will do great things in your life once you are out of here. I also understand that students go through a lot of hell from time to time and that is just a part of life. Some people change majors, while others change personalities due to emotional variables. I have made a decision to offer you what we call ‘administrative withdrawal.’ It works like an academic pardon for a semester. You only get one of these in a college career, so use it well. I hope to see you next semester. Good luck to you, Mr. Cardellini.”
Luke quickly jumped from his chair with a smile on his face. He leaned forward and shook the professor’s hand while simultaneously expressing gratitude for his decision. Luke turned around and left the room.
He smiled at the secretary as he continued through the doors. He looked towards the waiting area, only to see that Jason was no longer there. Confused but excited, he made his way back down the hallway and to the elevator; he pulled out his phone and decided to text message his father.
“I love you dad.”
He placed the phone back into his front left pocket and pressed for the bottom level. He arrived at the bottom floor and felt his phone vibrate. He removed the small device and read his father’s response.
“I love you too, Son.”
That evening, Luke entered work with enthusiasm in his attitude. His supervisor immediately noticed the change in him and approached.
“Good evening, Luke. I take it that you are feeling better this evening. I have to admit, bud, ever since that night you returned from those two days off after coming in intoxicated, you have really gotten yourself together. I’m proud of you. Now, I hope you are ready to work. There is a full moon tonight.”
Luke continued to smile as he walked to his desk to begin working on the current patients in the ER.
He started with an older man who had admitted himself after pains in his lower back area became intense. Luke briefly looked at his chart and discovered that the elder man was diagnosed with kidney stones. Luke receives the insurance information from the man and continued on his route.
The night continued as Luke’s patients became less and less. It was soon time for his shift to end and for him to head home. He neatly organized his desk and filed his paperwork for the evening. He walked out of the sliding glass door, next to the emergency room entrance, and passed a few coworkers. They were all smoking cigarettes and trying to keep warm in the breezy evening.
Luke strolled by one of his coworkers who offered him a smoke. Luke looked at him and smiled.
“No, thank you. I quit smoking, actually, but thanks anyway. Those things can kill ya.”
Luke arrived home. He walked in and was encountered by Alan waiting for him in the living room. He asks Luke to sit for a little house meeting,
“Listen, man, our lease ends at the end of the month and I don’t want to resign. I found a place closer to campus with another guy from school. I don’t mean to drop this on you like this, but I just don’t think that we work together anymore. I’m sorry, buddy.”
Luke continued to listen. He starts feeling the pressure of being cornered. He accepted the news and walked to his bedroom.
He took a seat on the edge of his bed and pondered his next move. He decided to text Enzo.
“Hey man, Alan is moving out at the end of the month.”
Luke removed his tie and dress shirt. He began making himself more comfortable when Enzo replied,
“You should move back here, man. We can get a place together. Just transfer. It might be best for you to move home anyway.”
“Okay. I’ll think about it. This place just isn’t the same anyway, and I miss my family. I’ll talk to you soon, cuz.”
Luke decided to call it a night. He placed his phone on its charger and made himself comfortable under his covers.
As Luke was falling asleep, he thought more and more about moving back home. He played the scenario in his mind trying to decide what he would have to do to make it happen. He figured he could transfer to USM
in Long Beach and just find a new job on the coast. The thought of being closer to his family and being able to recover faster and further by being in a place that held so many good times convinced Luke that it was time to go home.
That following morning, Luke contacted all the persons necessary to make his move happen. He secured a moving trailer from his father, informed “USM” of the transfer, and even began searching online for a few apartment complexes. Feeling positive and confident in his decision, Luke began packing smaller items. In the back of his mind, he felt that he would miss Hattiesburg and the memories of his time spent there with Anna. Luke started thinking, “All good things must come to an end.”
Luke spent the rest of the day cleaning his apartment. He noticed that at the same time, Alan was already moving his belongings out. An unsettling vibe swept over the apartment, neither Luke nor Alan communicated much outside of the occasional pardon as they walked by one another.
The day continued, as Luke prepared for his move. Feeling better than ever and understanding that he may have dodged a bullet, with his emotional drop following the demise of Anna, he quickly learned to appreciate the time he had while still being able to breathe.
Soon after cleaning his apartment, Luke decided to give Whitney a call. He knew that it might be too late but thought it would be worth a try to reach out to a person that he knew and that who might be able to help him restart his life.
Before he called, Luke decided to text message the person he credited for helping to save his life: Marion.
“Hey, Marion… how are you doing?”
Luke removed the heavy black liner bag from the top of his closet when he heard his phone begin to vibrate. He opened the new file and read Marion’s response.
“Um, I’m good. Who is this?”
“Funny! This is Luke. I wanted to thank you again. It really turned things around for me. How are you doing?”
Adaptation of the Chameleon Page 26
