The Bridal Chronicles
Page 15
The place where she’d first seen Ryan, looking like her dream come true with his gold hair gleaming in the sun, his masculine body so wonderfully displayed by his black tux.
He’d taken her breath away that day.
And taken so much more since.
Even so, she’d been prepared to leave Portland and Ryan behind and put an end to this heart-wrenching chapter in her life. Despite the ache inside of her telling her she was doing the wrong thing by leaving without fighting harder for Ryan, without demanding he give them a chance.
She’d been in a crazy, incredibly irritating kind of push-pull limbo since last night. A place where she wanted desperately to follow her heart but was simply too afraid to take the risk once again since Ryan had rejected her. Too afraid of putting herself in a place where she might hurt more than she already did, although she wondered if that was possible.
But when she’d reached the lobby to go to the airport, reality had set in, and a kind of panic had taken over her. Something deep inside of her had trembled and balked, and she’d desperately needed to come here, the place where it had all started between her and Ryan. She had to make a decision.
A decision that could change her life.
She looked down at the fluffy little bear, his fur turned to almost the same gold as Ryan’s hair in the sun.
Sometimes you have to face your fears.
Ryan’s words echoed in her head again, on instant replay. She smiled, her eyes burning, remembering how afraid she’d been on the Ferris wheel at the Festival Center and how Ryan had said those exact words and coaxed her to open her eyes and take in the wonderful view. When she had finally mustered up the courage to look, it was as if they’d been floating above the rest of the world, high up in a place she’d never been brave enough to experience before.
Despite her fear, she’d loved the experience. She had been so glad she’d taken Ryan’s advice and opened her eyes.
Was it time to open her eyes now and enjoy the “view”? Was it time to finally take her romantic idealism to heart, the bone-deep principles she’d stifled, and really fight for the man she loved instead of scurrying away when things got tough? If she didn’t, she’d have nothing. If she did… well, she might end up with Ryan.
Her heart raced.
With Ryan!
She’d been wearing a veil in this very spot the day she’d met him and she saw now that she’d been wearing it—hiding behind it, actually—ever since. It had made her world safe… but hazy and out-of-focus and distorted. She hadn’t seen anything in its true light since.
Until now. That cursed veil had been ripped from over her eyes and she could finally see the world as it was.
A world where the only important thing was that she loved Ryan.
It was up to her to convince him, no matter what, that he had to give them a chance.
She’d thought she was so brave last night, facing her fear and going to Ryan’s apartment. But she hadn’t been brave for very long. She’d run as fast as she could when he hadn’t fallen at her feet, confessing his undying love. She simply gave up.
Now was the time to really put her brand new spine to the test.
Filled with a wonderful, calming sense of purpose that had been absent from her life for far too long, she stood, smoothing her yellow linen pants, noticing how warm the sun was on her shoulders, how blue the sky above her was. Feeling reborn, she clutched Nayr to her chest and moved past vibrantly colored, heavily fragrant rosebushes and up another set of stone stairs that led to the half-empty parking lot.
As she turned toward her car, a low, growling hum caught her ear. She paused at the top of the stairs, her heart suddenly pounding.
A motorcycle.
Ryan?
No, she was imagining things, imagining that he was going to show up like a knight in shiny leather and tell her he loved her more than anything, that he couldn’t live without her.
It was her job to take control and convince him of that.
The motorcycle came into view. She squinted, ridiculously trying to discern if the rider was indeed Ryan. But she’d never actually seen his motorcycle and the person—yes, yes, it was a man!—-was indistinguishable in the black helmet and leather jacket he wore.
It could be any guy out for a ride through the park on a sunny summer day.
She waited, though, her newly freed love and self-understanding blossoming at last inside of her like one of the beautiful roses surrounding her. She was rooted to the spot, hoping, praying…
The man on the motorcycle slowed as he rolled near, then put his feet down, his muscled legs bulging underneath his grass-stained jeans. He slowly turned off the bike.
She stared. All she could hear was the frantic beating of her heart.
In slow motion, the man reached up and unhooked his helmet. And then he took it off, slowly exposing a chiseled, tanned jaw, incredibly gorgeous deep blue eyes, and golden hair the color of the Teddy bear clutched in her arms.
Her heart melted.
He swung one leg over the bike, cocked the kickstand, and said, “Hey, pretty lady, want a ride?” He smiled, showing straight, white teeth and that darn dimple. He patted the bike’s seat. “There’s plenty of room.”
She slowly walked over to him, feeling like she was floating instead of actually touching the ground. “Oh, I don’t know, mister. I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”
He pulled something from the front of his leather jacket. “Well,” he drawled, holding up a small Teddy bear, its fur almost the exact shade of her dyed hair, a white lace bow around its chubby neck. “I think my bear, Anna, knows your bear, Nayr. Is that good enough?”
Instantly, hot, insistent tears pressed on the backs of her eyelids.
He’d named the bear Anna.
Shaking, Anna looked at him and then the bear he held. She had to be sure Ryan knew who the woman standing before him really was and that he wanted Anna Sinclair as much as he wanted Anna Simpson.
Before she could speak, he said, “This bear is Anna. It’s the same backward as it is forward. So I guess the two of them are the same, aren’t they?” he asked, moving closer, his voice like rough silk. “Either name will do.”
He understood.
Trembling, wanting to believe what she thought he was saying but so unsure of everything despite her newfound bravery, so ashamed that she’d deceived him, she stood frozen, unable to move. Tears crested in her eyes and ran down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry I lied—”
“Shh,” he said, reaching out for her. His big, strong hands wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her to him. He pressed his mouth to hers and kissed her lips gently, almost reverently. “I was a fool to let you go, Anna.”
She clung to him, breathing in his scent. “I can’t believe you came for me.”
He pressed a finger on her lips, his eyes full of regret. “Stop. Don’t say anything else. I was a damn idiot for letting what happened in my past keep me from admitting my true feelings, for letting you walk away.” He closed his eyes briefly. “I couldn’t see that I fell in love with what’s inside of you and that
whether you were an heiress or not didn’t matter. I couldn’t see the truth and say the words.”
She bit her lip, wanting to believe him with everything in her. “And are you ready to do that now?” She searched his face for trace of doubt. She found none.
He bent close and gently kissed her mouth again, then buried his face in her hair. “I love you, Anna Sinclair, no matter who you are, more than anything in the world. Nothing matters but that you complete me and make me the happiest man on earth.”
Her chest bursting with long awaited happiness, she looked at Ryan. Miraculously she finally saw pure, unmistakable love shining in his eyes like a bright beacon glowing in the night, meant only for her.
“Oh, Ryan, I love you, too! I’ve made some mistakes, also, and I see now that I was using my past as a shield to shut you out.” She smiled and caressed his rough jaw. “It was
easy to hold on to the fantasy of love by designing wedding dresses, but admitting to feeling it is what counts.”
He stared deep into her eyes and ran his hand across her lips, caressing gently, reverently. “From now on, you’re the most important thing in my life.”
She nodded and tugged his head down for another kiss. “I’d better be, mister,” she said, smiling against his mouth. “I’ll be sure and remind you if you ever forget that.”
“I’ll never forget.” He smoothed her hair away from her face and looked deep into her eyes. “Trust me. I may be a slow study, but I never forget what I’ve learned. How about we have a real wedding,” he murmured, kissing her face. “Will you marry me?”
Unadulterated bliss stole through her. Ryan’s wife. Her very own real wedding. Her dream come true. “Yes,” she whispered, smiling up at him. “Yes, of course I’ll marry you.” She couldn’t believe that she and Ryan had found a way to love each other and would be planning their very own Bridal Chronicle. A real one this time. As real as the love she’d waited so long to discover.
And then he pulled her close and bent his head and whispered in her ear over and over again how much he loved and adored her.
And she finally knew where she belonged. In his arms. Her heart next to his.
Forever.
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