“You were too young to be given such a grave responsibility.”
“Yes. But I should have known better as I grew older. I set a high standard for myself, and I expected too much of the people around me. Even the girls. You showed me that.”
“They’re fine girls, and they adore you.”
“I should have trusted you more with them. When Victoria was born, I’d never felt anything like what I felt for her. I wanted to protect her and shelter her. I hardly even let Walter near her. I wouldn’t be separated from her. I thought I was being a good mother.”
“You are a good mother.”
“But I drove Walter away. I thought our lives would be better once he returned from the war, but he never felt a part of our lives. We grew apart while he was gone. I’d become accustomed to doing everything for the girls myself. He didn’t have a place anymore.”
“What an odd thing to say. Of course Walter felt as though he was part of your family.”
Eleanor’s smile was tinged with sorrow. “The girls and I had our own way of doing things, and we excluded him. I think that’s part of the reason he wanted out of Omaha. He thought we could start over. The change didn’t help. After we moved to Virginia City, we rarely saw him. I felt as though I was married to a stranger.”
Tilly covered her sister’s hand. “I’m sorry. I wish you would have said something. I didn’t know how difficult these past few years have been for you. I’m sorry about Walter.”
“I was angry when he died.” Her lips tightened. “Angry that he’d thought so little of the girls and me that he’d leave us destitute.”
Tilly’s heart softened. “I’m sure he thought the mine would eventually pay out.”
“That stupid hole in the ground. The only thing it ever paid out was heartbreak.”
Captain Ronald approached them, tins of coffee in each hand. “I thought you might like something warm against the cold night.”
Eleanor blushed and accepted the offering. The captain touched his forehead and moved away.
Tilly stifled a smile. “He’s very handsome.”
“Yes.”
“I think he’s smitten with you.”
Eleanor’s expression crumpled. “We’re destitute, Tilly. What man would want to be saddled with a woman and three children, when all we own is the clothes on our backs?”
“I don’t believe he minds.”
“He’s moving to Wichita.”
“Wichita isn’t such a bad place.” Tilly glanced at the cavalryman. “What if he asks you to marry him?”
“I’ve barely been widowed a year. I have the girls to think about.”
“That’s not what this is about, though, is it?” Tilly asked.
“I made so many mistakes with Walter.” Eleanor stifled a sob. “What if I make all the same mistakes again?”
“No one is perfect, Eleanor. Not even you. If you allow someone to love your imperfections, you might be surprised.”
Eleanor blinked rapidly. “When did you grow up?”
“When you weren’t looking.”
Her sister hugged her close. “Thank you. For what you did for Caroline.”
“You’re welcome.” Tilly rubbed her sore ankle. “Before I say anything else, I need to know something. How do you feel about the captain?”
“I haven’t known him very long, certainly, but I think we’re suited.”
“Could you love him?”
“I think I’m already falling in love with him, Tilly. He’s been so good to the girls. After you were taken...” Her voice hitched and she gathered herself. “After you were taken, he was the only thing that kept us going.”
“This is all so sudden.” Tilly assumed the role of older sister for once. “He’s a good man, but perhaps you should spend some time thinking about your future.”
“I’ve been alone this past year. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
Her sister appeared truly fond of the cavalryman, and he obviously returned the sentiment. He was a good man who would treat Eleanor and the children with love and respect. What else did they really need? Still, it wouldn’t hurt to give Eleanor a little nudge.
“That doesn’t mean you have to rush into something you might regret later,” Tilly said.
Eleanor sighed. “All my life I’ve done everything exactly how I ought to. I was the perfect daughter, and I did everything that was expected of me. I married the man Father chose for me. I tried to be the best wife and mother I could. And what has that gotten me? I’m miserable, Tilly. This time I’m going to do what feels right for me.”
Tilly grinned. “Then I think you should marry him.”
“He hasn’t asked.”
“He will.”
Eleanor caught her gaze. “What about you? I’ve noticed you spending a lot of time with Mr. West.”
“I think I love him.”
To her credit, Eleanor only clasped her hand. “How does he feel about you?”
“I think he likes me. I think he could even love me, but he’s unsure of himself.”
Eleanor met her gaze, her expression intent. “I’ll tell you something, and I’m not saying this to be unkind. I’m sharing something I learned over the years. Men don’t change. When I married Walter, I knew he chafed at his work in Father’s law office. I thought he’d change once we were married. I thought he’d change once the girls were born. I thought he’d change once we moved to Virginia City. I was wrong every time. He didn’t change, and neither did I. If he isn’t willing to be with you now, he never will.”
Tilly’s heart squeezed painfully. “I’m afraid you’re right.”
“Then find someone who doesn’t have to change to love you.”
A commotion sounded at the edge of the camp, and they both turned. A man leading his horse strode through the line of soldiers, parting the ranks.
Her heart thumped against her rips and she half stood. “Lieutenant Perry.”
Even as she registered the thought, Captain Ronald strode into view.
The lieutenant took one look at the captain and reached for his sidearm. The captain was quicker.
His men quickly apprehended the lieutenant.
“I thought you were dead!” the lieutenant shouted. “I’ve done nothing.”
“It’s too late, Perry.” The captain gave a sad shake of his head. “You never can trust an outlaw to kill the right man.”
The crowd parted, revealing Nolan, and the lieutenant sagged. There was no escaping his lies.
Eleanor rushed toward the captain. “You could have been killed. What were you thinking?”
The captain caught her against his chest and buried his fingers in her hair. “I would never risk death now that I’ve found something to live for.”
The two embraced and Tilly leaned back on her hands. Eleanor was definitely going to be married. And soon.
She glanced in Nolan’s direction. Where did that leave her?
Chapter Twenty
The village of Yankton had the feel of a boomtown. Steamships traveling along the Missouri had swelled the population of the town. There were numerous thriving business, and Nolan even spotted a photography studio along one of the bustling streets.
The cavalry had taken up residence in the stockade built in the Dakota War of 1862. The enormous stockade had been built to house the settlers from surrounding areas. Since the attacks had never manifested, the stockade remained in good repair. Captain Ronald pointed out the territorial capitol building on their trip to the fort. The building was an uninspiring white two-story structure located at Fourth and Capitol Streets.
The evening after Nolan and the rest of the group arrived in Yankton, the fort hosted an impromptu celebration. He was reluctant to attend, but the captain was insis
tent. Nolan withdrew some money from the bank, surprised at how much the balance had grown. That afternoon he went into town and purchased a new suit. The kindly proprietor rushed the alterations.
By now, most of the town had heard about the outlaws, and they were eager to hear Nolan’s story. The townspeople treated him as though he was a hero, and he quickly ducked away from their regard. He hadn’t done anything that anyone else wouldn’t have done.
That evening he took extra care with his appearance. He planned on leaving for the Wyoming Territory the following day. He’d already wired his superiors at Pioneer Stagecoach and let them know about the town. He’d miss Bill and English Bob and the others, but the time had come for him to move on.
The mess hall teemed with the people, and he paused on the threshold. The Dakota Territory was growing with the steamship business, bringing scores of settlers. Since here were few enough reasons to celebrate most days, it appeared as though everyone within miles had turned out for the party.
Wearing his full dress uniform and holding a glass of punch, the captain approached him. “I brought your money.”
Nolan plucked a thread from his lapel. “What money?”
“For the capture of the outlaws.”
Captain Ronald named a sum that had Nolan frowning.
“I think you’ve made a mistake.”
“That’s the sum. A fellow could make a good living in the city on that amount of money.”
“I’ve never been one for the city,” Nolan said. “A man like me needs open spaces.”
“Suit yourself.”
“What about Snyder?” Nolan asked. “Has he been caught?”
“He’s been captured. He barely it made it across the river. The flooding on that side was worse. It was either drown or be caught. He decided to finish out his jail term.”
“I hope the judge goes easy on him. He was the only one who showed us any mercy.”
“I’ll make certain the judge is aware of your feelings. You’re quite a hero around these parts. Your word means a lot.”
Nolan’s face heated. “You would have done the same for Eleanor.”
“Without pause.”
The captain spotted Eleanor and his face softened. “If you ever pass through Wichita, stop by for a visit. We’re friends now, I think.”
“We are.”
“Then wish me well.” The captain raised his glass. “I have a very important announcement to make.”
Tilly’s sister was glowing. The girls had been scrubbed clean and wore matching pink dresses with white sashes. Elizabeth had a smudge on her hem already. They crowded around him and he dutifully exclaimed over the ribbons in their braided hair and their satin bows.
Their mother soon gathered them near.
He caught sight of Tilly before she spotted him, and he took the chance to admire her. She’d swept her head into a crisscross of braids atop her head that revealed the enticing curve of the nape of her neck. She wore a dress in a vivid shade of blue that brought out the lustre in her eyes. His heart swelled. She caught his gaze as the captain raised his glass.
“If I could have your attention, please,” the captain called, one arm wrapped around Eleanor’s waist. “I’d like to make an announcement. This beautiful lady has agreed to be my wife.”
The room erupted into whoops and hollers. Eleanor blushed and kissed his cheek. The girls crowded around them. He felt an odd pang in his chest. The girls had already transferred their attention to the captain. He caught himself. They hadn’t transferred their attention, they’d shared their affection.
Nolan wove through the crowd until he found Tilly. “Isn’t that rather sudden?”
“Yes.” She reached for a glass of lemonade. “The captain was smitten.”
“What about Eleanor?”
Despite his words, he was more interested in hearing how Tilly felt about the marriage.
“I think she likes him. I believe she’ll even grow to love him. Living with Walter’s parents was never an ideal solution, but she didn’t have another choice. Now she does.”
“What will you do?”
“I’m going with her to Wichita. Just until the girls are settled.”
His eyebrows shot up. “But what about New York? What will happen to all the widows and orphans?”
“They’ll find assistance without me, I’m sure. Having spent time with my nieces these past few weeks, I don’t want to be away from them. I’m tired of making decisions based on what I don’t want. I want to make decisions based on what I do want.”
“I’m happy for you, Tilly.”
“What will you do?”
“I’ll move farther west. It’s what I always planned.”
“You said your father lives in Cimarron Springs.”
“Yes.”
“If you ever pass through Wichita on your way to Cimarron Springs, I’d enjoy seeing you.”
“And I you.” He paused. “They’ve given me the reward for the outlaws. I’d like you to have it.”
Her eyes grew red. “You don’t have to pay me off. I won’t ask anything of you.”
“No.” Regret immediately engulfed him. “That’s not what I meant at all.”
“I’m fine, Nolan. You don’t have to worry about me or take care of me. I don’t know what my future holds. Not exactly. And you know what? I don’t care. I’m going to spend the rest of my life starting things that I never finish and I’m not going to care what people think.”
Someone bumped against him and murmured an apology. The skin beneath his collar itched and his palms grew damp. There were too many people in too small of a space. He needed some fresh air, but he didn’t want to leave Tilly just yet. Not when their time together was growing to a close.
He wouldn’t live out his life with her. He’d probably never see her after today, but he’d been fortunate to call her a friend for this span of time. He’d been fortunate to love her.
He tugged on his collar. “I can’t change, Tilly. You know that.”
“I never asked you to change.” A sad smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “My sister can be an unmitigated pain, and the captain adores her. The problem isn’t counting plates or arranging your tools. The problem is that you can’t accept who you are.”
“Tilly...” The word hovered on the tip of his tongue. “It’s not that easy.”
“You’ll be all right, Nolan West. As long as you’re kind to yourself, you’ll be just fine.”
His throat closed, preventing from saying anything more than a gruff, “Goodbye.”
She pressed a kiss against his cheek. “Goodbye.”
He watched her walk away, and the crowd swallowed her.
His chest seized.
He’d done the right thing.
Then why did everything feel so wrong?
* * *
Tilly rested her hand on her chin and stared out the window. She didn’t regret moving to Cimarron Springs, even though she sometimes felt foolish living in the same town as Nolan’s father without ever introducing herself. She didn’t know what she’d say, or how she’d explain herself.
After Eleanor and the girls had settled in Wichita, she’d been a third wheel. Captain Ronald’s family was more than comfortable, they were wealthy. The captain hadn’t shared that particular tidbit of information with Eleanor, and she’d been furious at first, but her temper had quickly faded.
While Captain Ronald clearly adored Eleanor, Tilly had noticed that her sister more than returned the affection. She’d caught Eleanor staring at the captain when he wasn’t looking. She’d seen the blush of color dusting her sister’s cheeks when the captain looked in her direction.
Eleanor had made her own choice, and it was clear she didn’t regret her actions. Their father had take
n their move with his usual aplomb. He’d always preferred his solitude, and he didn’t seem to mind the absence of his two daughters.
When she’d grown restless in Wichita, she’d asked the captain to help her find work. A friend of a friend had gotten her work at the post office in Cimarron Springs and a room in the boardinghouse.
All in all she was content. Lonely. But content.
A knock sounded and the boardinghouse proprietress peered into the room. “You have a visitor.”
Tilly heart jolted. She stood and smoothed her dress. “Who?”
“An older gentleman.”
Her brief spark of hope faded. “I’ll be right down.”
She checked her appearance in the looking glass and descended the stairs.
Tilly met the bearded gentleman in the parlor. She couldn’t recall ever meeting him before, and her confusion increased. He stood and doffed his hat.
“My name is Jericho West. I believe you know my son.”
Tilly’s step faltered before she took the gentleman’s proffered hand. “I met your son, yes. How is he?”
“Well, I suppose. He wrote to me recently. He doesn’t do that very often. He mentioned your name. He asked, well, he asked me to check on you.”
“That’s very kind of you. And kind of your son.” Tilly gestured. “Won’t you have seat?”
The man took an awkward seat on the edge of a chair while she sent for coffee and refreshments.
He cleared his throat. “Imagine my surprise when I traveled to Wichita, only to discover you were living right under my nose.”
“Oh, dear.” Of course Nolan would have assumed she was living in Wichita. That’s where she’d planned to stay the last time they’d spoken. “I hope you weren’t inconvenienced.”
“Not at all, no.” Jericho rested his hat on his knee and fumbled with the brim. “He’s always been whip smart. Neither his mother nor I had much schooling, and we couldn’t give Nolan much schooling, either. There was too much work to be done on the farm. When the war broke out, he warned me. He told me that we were sitting on the wrong side of history. I didn’t understand. No one ever thinks they’re on the losing side of history, do they?”
A Temporary Family Page 23
