Sookie Stackhouse 8-copy Boxed Set

by Charlaine Harris

  And then there was Eric. Oh, Lord, Eric would be waiting for me at the house.

  I found myself wondering what time it was in Peru. Bill had to be having more fun than I was. It seemed like I’d gotten worn out on New Year’s Eve and never caught up; I’d never felt this exhausted.

  I was just past the intersection where I’d turned left, the road that eventually passed Merlotte’s. The headlights illuminated flashes of trees and bushes. At least there were no more vampires running down the side . . .

  “Wake up,” said the woman sitting by me on the front seat.

  “What?” My eyelids popped open. The car swerved violently.

  “You were falling asleep.”

  By this time, I wouldn’t have been surprised if a beached whale had lain across the road.

  “You’re who?” I asked, when I felt my voice might be under my control.

  “Claudine.”

  It was hard to recognize her in the dashboard light, but sure enough, it seemed to be the tall and beautiful woman who’d been in Merlotte’s New Year’s Eve, who’d been with Tara the previous morning. “How did you get in my car? Why are you here?”

  “Because there’s been an unusual amount of supernatural activity in this area in the past week or two. I’m the go-between.”

  “Go between what?”

  “Between the two worlds. Or, more accurately, between the three worlds.”

  Sometimes life just hands you more than you take. Then you just accept.

  “So, you’re like an angel? That’s how come you woke me up when I was falling asleep at the wheel?”

  “No, I haven’t gotten that far yet. You’re too tired to take this in. You have to ignore the mythology and just accept me for what I am.”

  I felt a funny jolt in my chest.

  “Look,” Claudine pointed out. “That man’s waving to you.”

  Sure enough, in Merlotte’s parking lot there stood a semaphoring vampire. It was Chow.

  “Oh, just great,” I said, in the grumpiest voice I could manage. “Well, I hope you don’t mind us stopping, Claudine. I need to go in.”

  “Sure, I wouldn’t miss it.”

  Chow waved me to the rear of the bar, and I was astonished to find the employee parking area jam-packed with cars that had been invisible from the road.

  “Oh, boy!” Claudine said. “A party!” She got out of my car as if she could hardly restrain her glee, and I had the satisfaction of seeing that Chow was absolutely stupefied when he took in all six feet of her. It’s hard to surprise a vampire.

  “Let’s go in,” Claudine said gaily, and took my hand.

  9

  EVERY SUPE I’D EVER MET WAS IN MERLOTTE’S. OR maybe it just seemed like that, since I was dead tired and wanted to be by myself. The Were pack was there, all in human form and all more or less dressed, to my relief.

  Alcide was in khakis and an unbuttoned shirt in green and blue plaid. It was hard to believe he could run on four legs. The Weres were drinking coffee or soft drinks, and Eric (looking happy and healthy) was having some TrueBlood. Pam was sitting on a barstool, wearing an ash green tracksuit, which she managed to make prim-but-sexy. She had a bow in her hair and beaded sneakers on her feet. She’d brought Gerald with her, a vampire I’d met once or twice at Fangtasia. Gerald looked about thirty, but I’d heard him refer to Prohibition once as if he’d lived through it. What little I knew of Gerald didn’t predispose me to getting closer to him.

  Even in such a company, my entrance with Claudine was nothing short of sensational. In the improved lighting of the bar, I could see that Claudine’s strategically rounded body was packed into an orange knit dress, and her long legs ended in the highest of high heels. She looked like a scrumptious slut, super-sized.

  Nope, she couldn’t be an angel—at least, as I understood angels.

  Looking from Claudine to Pam, I decided it was massively unfair that they looked so clean and appealing. Like I needed to feel unattractive, in addition to being worn out and scared and confused! Doesn’t every gal want to walk into a room side by side with a gorgeous woman who practically has “I want to fuck” tattooed on her forehead? If I hadn’t caught a glimpse of Sam, whom I’d dragged into this whole thing, I would’ve turned around and walked right out.

  “Claudine,” said Colonel Flood. “What brings you here?”

  Pam and Gerald were both staring at the woman in orange intently, as if they expected her to take off her clothes any second.

  “My girl, here”—and Claudine inclined her head toward me—“fell asleep at the wheel. How come you aren’t watching out for her better?”

  The colonel, as dignified in his civvies as he had been in his skin, looked a little startled, as if it was news to him that he was supposed to provide protection for me. “Ah,” he said. “Uh . . .”

  “Should have sent someone to the hospital with her,” Claudine said, shaking her waterfall of black hair.

  “I offered to go with her,” Eric said indignantly. “She said it would be too suspicious if she went to the hospital with a vampire.”

  “Well, hel-lo, tall, blond, and dead,” Claudine said. She looked Eric up and down, admiring what she saw. “You in the habit of doing what human women ask of you?”

  Thanks a lot, Claudine, I told her silently. I was supposed to be guarding Eric, and now he wouldn’t even shut the door if I told him to. Gerald was still ogling her in the same stunned way. I wondered if anyone would notice if I stretched out on one of the tables and went to sleep. Suddenly, just as Pam’s and Gerald’s had done, Eric’s gaze sharpened and he seemed fixed on Claudine. I had time to think it was like watching cats that’d suddenly spotted something skittering along the baseboards before big hands spun me around and Alcide gathered me to him. He’d maneuvered through the crowd in the bar until he’d reached me. Since his shirt wasn’t buttoned, I found my face pressed against his warm chest, and I was glad to be there. The curly black hair did smell faintly of dog, true, but otherwise I was comforted at being hugged and cherished. It felt delightful.

  “Who are you?” Alcide asked Claudine. I had my ear against his chest and I could hear him from inside and outside, a strange sensation.

  “I’m Claudine, the fairy,” the huge woman said. “See?”

  I had to turn to see what she was doing. She’d lifted her long hair to show her ears, which were delicately pointed.

  “Fairy,” Alcide repeated. He sounded as astonished as I felt.

  “Sweet,” said one of the younger Weres, a spiky-haired male who might be nineteen. He looked intrigued with the turn of events, and he glanced around at the other Weres seated at his table as if inviting them to share his pleasure. “For real?”

  “For a while,” Claudine said. “Sooner or later, I’ll go one way or another.” No one understood that, with the possible exception of the colonel.

  “You are one mouthwatering woman,” said the young Were. To back up the fashion statement of the spiked hair, he wore jeans and a ragged Fallen Angel T-shirt; he was barefoot, though Merlotte’s was cool, since the thermostat was turned down for the rest of the night. He was wearing toe rings.

  “Thanks!” Claudine smiled down at him. She snapped her fingers, and there was the same kind of haze around her that enveloped the Weres when they shifted. It was the haze of thick magic. When the air cleared, Claudine was wearing a spangled white evening gown.

  “Sweet,” the boy repeated in a dazed way, and Claudine basked in his admiration. I noticed she was keeping a certain distance from the vampires.

  “Claudine, now that you’ve shown off, could we please talk about something besides you?” Colonel Flood sounded as tired as I felt.

  “Of course,” Claudine said in an appropriately chastened voice. “Just ask away.”

  “First things first. Miss Stackhouse, how is Maria-Star?”

  “She survived the ride to the hospital in Clarice. They’re airlifting her to Shreveport, to Schumpert hospital. She may already be on h
er way. The doctor sounded pretty positive about her chances.”

  The Weres all looked at one another, and most of them let out gusty noises of relief. One woman, about thirty years old, actually did a little happy dance. The vampires, by now almost totally fixated on the fairy, didn’t react at all.

  “What did you tell the emergency room doctor?” Colonel Flood asked. “I have to let her parents know what the official line is.” Maria-Star would be their first-born, and their only Were child.

  “I told the police that I found her by the side of the road, that I didn’t see any signs of a car braking or anything. I told them she was lying on the gravel, so we won’t have to worry about grass that isn’t pressed down when it ought to be. . . . I hope she got it. She was pretty doped up when I talked to her.”

  “Very good thinking,” Colonel Flood said. “Thanks, Miss Stackhouse. Our pack is indebted to you.”

  I waved my hand to disclaim any debt. “How did you come to show up at Bill’s house at the right time?”

  “Emilio and Sid tracked the witches to the right area.” Emilio must be the small, dark man with huge brown eyes. There was a growing immigrant Mexican population in our area, and Emilio was apparently a part of that community. The spike-haired boy gave me a little wave, and I assumed he must be Sid. “Anyway, after dark, we started keeping an eye on the building where Hallow and her coven are holed up. It’s hard to do; it’s a residential neighborhood that’s mostly black.” African-American twins, both girls, grinned at each other. They were young enough to find this exciting, like Sid. “When Hallow and her brother left for Bon Temps, we followed them in our cars. We called Sam, too, to warn him.”

  I looked at Sam reproachfully. He hadn’t warned me, hadn’t mentioned the Weres were heading our way, too.

  Colonel Flood went on, “Sam called me on my cell to tell me where he figured they were heading when they walked out of his bar. I decided an isolated place like the Compton house would be a good place to get them. We were able to park our cars in the cemetery and change, so we got there just in time. But they caught our scent early.” The colonel glared at Sid. Apparently, the younger Were had jumped the gun.

  “So they got away,” I said, trying to sound neutral. “And now they know you’re on to them.”

  “Yes, they got away. The murderers of Adabelle Yancy. The leaders of a group trying to take over not only the vamps’ territory, but ours.” Colonel Flood had been sweeping the assembled Weres with a cold gaze, and they wilted under his stare, even Alcide. “And now the witches’ll be on their guard, since they know we’re after them.”

  Their attention momentarily pulled from the radiant fairy Claudine, Pam and Gerald seemed discreetly amused by the colonel’s speech. Eric, as always these days, looked as confused as if the colonel were speaking in Sanskrit.

  “The Stonebrooks went back to Shreveport when they left Bill’s?” I asked.

  “We assume so. We had to change back very quickly—no easy matter—and then get to our cars. A few of us went one way, a few another, but we caught no glimpse of them.”

  “And now we’re here. Why?” Alcide’s voice was harsh.

  “We’re here for several reasons,” the packmaster said. “First, we wanted to know about Maria-Star. Also, we wanted to recover for a bit before we drive back to Shreveport ourselves.”

  The Weres, who seemed to have pulled their clothes on pretty hastily, did look a little ragged. The dark-moon transformation and the rapid change back to two-legged form had taken a toll on all of them.

  “And why are you here?” I asked Pam.

  “We have something to report, too,” she said. “Evidently, we have the same goals as the Weres—on this matter, anyway.” She tore her gaze away from Claudine with an effort. She and Gerald exchanged glances, and as one, they turned to Eric, who looked back at them blankly. Pam sighed, and Gerald looked down at his booted feet.

  “Our nest mate Clancy didn’t return to us last night,” Pam said. Hard on this startling announcement, she focused once again on the fairy. Claudine seemed to have some overwhelming allure for the vampires.

  Most of the Weres looked like they were thinking that one less vampire was a step in the right direction. But Alcide said, “What do you think has happened?”

  “We got a note,” Gerald said, one of the few times I’d ever heard him speak out loud. He had a faint English accent. “The note said that the witches plan to drain one of our vampires for each day they have to search for Eric.”

  All eyes went to Eric, who looked stunned. “But why?” he asked. “I can’t understand what makes me such a prize.”

  One of the Were girls, a tan blonde in her late twenties, took silent issue with that. She rolled her eyes toward me, and I could only grin back. But no matter how good Eric looked, and what ideas interested parties might have about the fun to be had with him in bed (and on top of that, the control he had over various vampire enterprises in Shreveport), this single-minded pursuit of Eric rang the “Excessive” alarm. Even if Hallow had sex with Eric, and then drained him dry and consumed all his blood—Wait, there was an idea.

  “How much blood can be got from one of you?” I asked Pam.

  She stared at me, as close to surprised as I’d ever seen her. “Let me see,” she said. She stared into space, and her fingers wiggled. It looked like Pam was translating from one unit of measurement to another. “Six quarts,” she said at last.

  “And how much blood do they sell in those little vials?”

  “That’s . . .” She did some more figuring. “Well, that would be less than a fourth of a cup.” She anticipated where I was heading. “So Eric contains over ninety-six salable units of blood.”

  “How much you reckon they could charge for that?”

  “Well, on the street, the price has reached $225 for regular vampire blood,” Pam said, her eyes as cold as winter frost. “For Eric’s blood . . . He is so old. . . .”

  “Maybe $425 a vial?”

  “Conservatively.”

  “So, on the hoof, Eric’s worth . . .”

  “Over forty thousand dollars.”

  The whole crowd stared at Eric with heightened interest—except for Pam and Gerald, who along with Eric had resumed their contemplation of Claudine. They appeared to have inched closer to the fairy.

  “So, do you think that’s enough motivation?” I asked. “Eric spurned her. She wants him, she wants his stuff, and she wants to sell his blood.”

  “That’s a lot of motivation,” agreed a Were woman, a pretty brunette in her late forties.

  “Plus, Hallow’s nuts,” Claudine said cheerfully.

  I didn’t think the fairy had stopped smiling since she’d appeared in my car. “How do you know that, Claudine?” I asked.

  “I’ve been to her headquarters,” she said.

  We all regarded her in silence for a long moment, but not as raptly as the three vampires did.

  “Claudine, have you gone over?” Colonel Flood asked. He sounded more tired than anything else.

  “James,” Claudine said. “Shame on you! She thought I was an area witch.”

  Maybe I wasn’t the only one who was thinking that such overflowing cheer was a little weird. Most of the fifteen or so Weres in the bar didn’t seem too comfortable around the fairy. “It would have saved us a lot of trouble if you’d told us that earlier than tonight, Claudine,” the colonel said, his tone frosty.

  “A real fairy,” Gerald said. “I’ve only had one before.”

  “They’re hard to catch,” Pam said, her voice dreamy. She edged a little closer.

  Even Eric had lost his blank and frustrated mien and took a step toward Claudine. The three vamps looked like chocaholics at the Hershey factory.

  “Now, now,” Claudine said, a little anxiously. “Anything with fangs, take a step back!”

  Pam looked a bit embarrassed, and she tried to relax. Gerald subsided unwillingly. Eric kept creeping forward.

  Neither of the vampires
nor any of the Weres looked willing to take Eric on. I mentally girded my loins. After all, Claudine had awakened me before I could crash my car.

  “Eric,” I said, taking three quick steps to stand between Eric and the fairy. “Snap out of it!”

  “What?” Eric paid no more attention to me than he would to a fly buzzing around his head.

  “She’s off limits, Eric,” I said, and Eric’s eyes did flicker down to my face.

  “Hi, remember me?” I put my hand on his chest to slow him down. “I don’t know why you’re in such a lather, fella, but you need to hold your horses.”

  “I want her,” Eric said, his blue eyes blazing down into mine.

  “Well, she’s gorgeous,” I said, striving for reasonable, though actually I was a little hurt. “But she’s not available. Right, Claudine?” I aimed my voice back over my shoulder.

  “Not available to a vampire,” the fairy said. “My blood is intoxicating to a vampire. You don’t want to know what they’d be like after they had me.” But she still sounded cheerful.

  So I hadn’t been too far wrong with the chocolate metaphor. Probably this was why I hadn’t encountered any fairies before; I was too much in the company of the undead.

  When you have thoughts like that, you know you’re in trouble.

  “Claudine, I guess we need you to step outside now,” I said a little desperately. Eric was pushing against me, not testing me seriously yet (or I’d be flat on my back), but I’d had to retreat a step already. I wanted to hear what Claudine had to tell the Weres, but I realized separating the vamps from the fairy was top priority.

  “Just like a big petit four,” Pam sighed, watching Claudine twitch her white-spangled butt all the way out the front door with Colonel Flood close behind her. Eric seemed to snap to once Claudine was out of sight, and I breathed a sigh of relief.