Casa Parisi

by Janet Albert

  Lucia shook off her musings and spun her stool around. The dance floor was hopping and it was time to check out the women. Rusty, the DJ, swayed in her booth, her amped up energy level transmittable as she provided the pounding beat that lured the throbbing mass of women onto the dance floor. Maybe Lucia would join them later, providing she could stand up without swaying, but for now, she was content to observe.

  AFTER AN HOUR, thanks to a second cup of coffee and a turkey sandwich Bernie brought out on Georgie's orders, Lucia had sobered up enough to earn a fresh drink. She lifted the glass Bernie reluctantly set in front of her and took a controlled sip. Although she longed to recapture the beneficial effects a moderate dose of alcohol would provide, she had decided to slow down and take it easy. Getting shit-faced would not serve her and would prevent her from getting what she came here for.

  Before long, the loud music made normal conversation impossible. The crowd had seeped into every square foot of available space. More and more women squeezed onto the dance floor until it appeared to sway and bob like a single mass. At first Lucia was fascinated by the clouds of dust floating in the beams of light that crisscrossed the dance floor, but she soon tired of that and closed her eyes.

  Letting the pounding beat pulsate throughout her body made her hum with life again. She stayed that way until a sultry voice registered in her right ear.

  "What's your name good-looking?"

  The voice coaxed Lucia back to reality, tickling the hairs on the back of her neck like a balmy summer breeze. Turning her head, she opened her eyes and saw a young woman with short blond hair eyeing her hungrily.

  "Does it really matter?" Lucia had to speak into the young woman's ear in order to be heard above the clamor. Without waiting for an answer, Lucia reached for her drink and drained the rest of it. Setting the glass on the bar, she rotated on her stool and took in a pair of tight fitting black jeans and a dark purple shirt with the first few buttons open to allow an inviting glimpse of cleavage.

  "It doesn't have to," the young woman replied.

  "That's the answer I wanted." Lucia inhaled deeply. The woman smelled good and she was cute, very cute. She was exactly what Lucia had hoped to find.

  "Could I persuade you to dance with me?"

  "Not right now. Maybe later," Lucia answered. Pointing to the stool next to hers, she invited her young admirer to join her. "Can I buy you a drink?"

  "You sure can, Ms. Anonymous."

  "What do you want?" Lucia raised her hand and signaled for Bernie.

  "That's a loaded question." The woman's tone was suggestive. "If you mean, what do I want to drink, I'll have a beer."

  "And if that's not what I mean?"

  "We can get to that later on."

  "Good. So, what would you like to drink?" This one was going to be a cinch, but for now Lucia was in no hurry to leave the bar or jump into bed with her.

  "I'll have a Genny Light."

  "You like the local stuff."

  "The local stuff looks pretty good from where I'm sitting."

  Lucia's only reaction was to smile at the innuendo. This girl was full of them. When Bernie came she placed their drink orders. Bernie nodded and said nothing, although the look she threw Lucia's way did not go unnoticed.

  Lucia turned her attention back to the girl and fed her one of her usual lines. "How come I haven't seen you in here before? Believe me, I would have remembered."

  "I'm not from around here. I'm visiting some friends in Ithaca."

  "All the better." Lucia relaxed once she heard that. She wasn't likely to see this girl ever again and that made what she had in mind even more appealing. "What brings you to Georgie's?"

  "I'm out looking for a good time." The young woman's eyes were swirling pools of darkness as she lightly traced a random pattern on Lucia's forearm with her finger.

  "You came to the right place." Lucia swallowed a hefty swig of vodka and promptly made a mental note to drink less for the rest of the night. She didn't need to get any more intoxicated. Her senses were heightened, her inhibitions loosened up and that was right where she wanted to be. As long as she put the brakes on before she rendered herself senseless, she'd be fine. She raised her glass for a toast. "Here's to us."

  "We're already an us?"

  "Sure. As long as it's only for one night." Lucia wanted to touch this woman and get lost in the feel of her so she could forget her troubles for a few precious hours. "I think it's only fair to tell you that I prefer to kiss and run."

  "I appreciate the honesty and it's not a problem. I'm not in the market for a long-term relationship. I've been watching you and I like what I see, that's all."

  "Do you?" Lucia stared into the woman's eyes. "Then say yes."

  "Yes," she said, her eyes never leaving Lucia's.

  Lucia studied the young girl and reached out to touch her hand. She was so young and earnest and it wasn't in Lucia's nature to treat anyone like a piece of meat. There was no harm in knowing a little about her as long as it was limited. "Where are you from?"

  "Binghamton. I'm from Binghamton."

  "How old are you?" Lucia asked. "You look awfully young."

  "Everyone tells me that, but I'm twenty-three."

  "That's good to know. I wouldn't want to commit a felony or anything."

  "What felony would that be, statutory lesbianism?"

  "So you're cute and funny. I like that." Lucia wrapped her arm around the woman's waist and leaned in. "I'll take you up on that dance now, but it's only fair to warn you that I like to dance close and slow." Her words were accentuated by a few nibbles on the girl's earlobe.

  "I can hardly wait." The girl squirmed with each nibble.

  "The next slow dance and I'm all yours. Do you want another beer?"

  "No thanks. I don't want to get drunk."

  In a few minutes, the DJ announced that the next song would be a slow one and the lights on the dance floor dimmed. Lucia took another sip of her drink, took hold of the woman's hand and escorted her onto the dance floor. As soon as she located a spot large enough for them to move around in she swept her partner into her arms.

  The young woman's heart pounded against Lucia's chest. A soft kiss planted on the woman's neck made it beat even faster. Lucia inched her lips along her dance partner's hot cheek until their mouths were no more than an inch apart, but instead of kissing her she stopped and waited to be invited.

  "Jesus." Moaning, the woman moved her mouth to close the gap.

  They kissed deeply, unaware of anyone around them. Without asking for permission, Lucia wiggled one side of the woman's shirt out of her pants and let her hand rove under the purple cotton. When it came to rest on the lower rim of the woman's breast, she held it there.

  "Touch me," the woman whispered into Lucia's mouth.

  While she explored the young woman's mouth with her tongue, Lucia covered one small breast with her hand. The feel of a hard nipple poking through the woman's bra and the sound of a sharp intake of breath sent a surge of lust through Lucia's body. She tore away from the kiss. "You feel good, but you'd feel a whole lot better without all these clothes on."

  "So would you." The woman ground her hips against Lucia's and wedged her thigh between Lucia's legs. "You're so fucking hot."

  Lucia leaned back enough to meet the woman's dark eyes, but then she had to bring her lips to the woman's ear again in order to be heard. "I'm hot for you and fucking you sounds real good right about now.

  Why don't we get out of here and go somewhere where we can be alone?"

  "I'm ready. Do you live around here?"

  "We're not going to my place. There's a nice motel close by."

  The young woman hesitated.

  Lucia sweetened the deal. "I'll pay for it."

  "I have to let my friends know I'm leaving."

  "Tell them you'll be back before the bar closes," Lucia said. "And just so we're both on the same page, this is going to be strictly casual, right? It'll be great while it lasts and then i
t'll be over. You don't need to know anything about me and we won't keep in touch or see each other again. Can you handle that? If you can't, I'll be on my way."

  "I can handle it. Let's get out of here."

  Chapter Two

  LATE THE NEXT morning, Lucia sat at another bar, the one in the restored barn that served as the main tourist building at her winery, Casa Parisi Vineyards. As she sat there she observed her brother Luke as he performed his customary preparations for their twelve noon opening. Although she had seen him carry out the identical routine many times before, she found his predictable actions soothing. Luke was her only sibling and she loved him dearly. Older than her by three years, he was a towering teddy bear of a man with a soft heart. Like many other brawny men he was sure of himself and felt no need to prove his strength or masculinity. Everyone, and she was no exception, was drawn to his charismatic personality.

  He whistled softly to himself as he uncorked several bottles of each type of wine featured on their tasting list. He left the wines that were best served at room temperature on the bar and placed the wines that tasted better chilled in the wine refrigerator at the far end of the bar. With a damp cloth he wiped any stray wine drops from the surface of the bar and dried it with a clean towel. From one end of the bar to the other he positioned six wooden bowls at equal intervals. Then he filled them with large oyster crackers the wine tasters would munch on to clear their palates between samples.

  Behind Luke, through the floor-to-ceiling windows, Lucia could see the neat rows of grapevines as they sloped down the hill toward Cayuga Lake. The lake's surface was as smooth as a blue mirror and it sparkled as it reflected the bright sunlight. Mother Nature had blessed them with a spectacular day, a day that produced the beginning of a smile in the corners of Lucia's mouth. Every vista from her winery was breathtaking and even in her hung-over state the scene before her lifted her spirits.

  The winery, along with its extensive vineyards, occupied a large tract of land on the west side of Cayuga Lake, the largest of the eleven finger-shaped lakes located in central New York State. The lakes were once ancient rivers until the glaciers advanced from the north. Like half-mile thick ice chisels, they dug deeper and deeper into the river beds to form the staggeringly deep, long, and narrow chasms. When the last glaciers gouged their way through, they deposited massive quantities of rocks at the southern ends of the river beds, sealing them off forever. And when the glaciers melted they filled the chasms with water forming the lakes.

  A Sunday afternoon this beautiful would surely draw people in. They loved to drive around the lakes, have brunch or lunch, browse in the gift shops and sample wines at the wineries. A number of the Finger Lakes had wineries scattered along their shores, but the highest concentrations were located between the two largest and longest lakes, Cayuga and Seneca, the one to the west of Cayuga. That fact made it easy for people from the nearby cities to visit most of them in a single day trip.

  Luke grabbed a stack of napkins from underneath the bar and carried them to where Lucia sat. He piled them in front of her and paused as if taking an extra close look at her. "I thought you'd be here earlier. Did you have a bad night?"

  Lucia rubbed her eyes and massaged her aching temples. Knowing he had indirectly been referring to her habit of drinking on Saturday nights irritated her. He meant well, she knew that, but she had to say something. "Everyone has their jobs to do around here and I certainly don't have to explain to you or anyone else what time I get here or even if I get here at all. Now do I?" Her last three words were drawn out and emphasized with a glaring stare.

  "No, you don't." Luke's jaw was set as he divided the napkins into three piles.

  Lucia instantly felt remorseful. She had upset her brother with her harsh words and angry stares once too often and she always hated doing it. He'd been so good to her and he didn't deserve a tongue-lashing every time he said something that hit a nerve.

  "I've got a wicked headache," she told him. "Do you have any Tylenol behind the bar?"

  Luke produced a bottle and set it in front of her without making eye contact. "How many do you want?'"

  "I need about twenty, but I'll settle for three."

  Luke tapped the pills into Lucia's hand. "Here you go."

  "Thanks." Lucia washed the pills down with the entire glass of water Luke had given her. She felt Luke's eyes on her.

  "I'm concerned about you," Luke said. "I hope you know that."

  Lucia lifted her eyes to his. "I had a bad night and I didn't get a whole lot of sleep." A few hours of sex with the young woman she'd picked up at Georgie's had only given her a fleeting respite from her misery. After she dropped the woman off at the bar and drove herself home, the anguish that had sent her to the bar in the first place attacked all over again with a renewed vehemence. Half a glass of straight vodka provided no relief and only when a hint of light peeked over the lake did she fall into a fitful sleep. It hadn't been enough to revive her physically or mentally and it certainly didn't restore what little stability she clung to on a daily basis.

  "I thought that was the problem. You've got circles under your eyes and you're not in a very good mood."

  "How right you are about both." Lucia stole a few crackers from the bar.

  "You haven't eaten a thing this morning, have you?"

  "My stomach's messed up. Maybe I'll eat later."

  "You were out drinking last night."

  "Right again, Luke." She had to exert considerable effort to hold her tongue. He was annoying when he hovered over her like a mother hen. "Do you have more questions? Get them all out now while you have the chance."

  "Just one." Luke leaned his elbows on the bar in front of her.

  With tightly closed lips, Lucia braced herself for a lecture.

  "How long are you going to keep on drinking like this whenever you have a bad week or a bad day or a bad night?"

  "Why should you give a shit, Luke?" There I go again, she thought. She didn't tell her brother that she'd had a dream about Devin. They were lying in bed holding each other and as she woke up she could actually feel Devin in her arms. The first time she'd slept with Devin and held her against her body she knew with total certainty that was where she always wanted to be at the end of every day. Now she ached because of the loss of it.

  "Now, you know damn well I care and you know you want me to, so stop talking like a smartass. This is the third time this week you've been hung-over and if you keep it up you're going to make yourself sick. I, for one, am not willing to stand around and let that happen."

  "I don't care if I get sick. Sometimes it hurts too much to be sober."

  Luke gazed steadily into his sister's eyes. "It's more than sometimes."

  "It hurts to be sober almost every day, okay? Is that closer to the truth?" What could she say? He was right. It was definitely a lot more than sometimes.

  "Maybe I worry about you too much, but I don't know what else to do. It kills me to stand by and watch you fall apart when you get one of these bad spells."

  "I don't mean to cause you grief."

  "This isn't about me. It's about you," Luke reminded her.

  "I know. Believe me, I know."

  "You also know I'm always here for you, don't you?" As if Luke sensed he might have been pushing too much, his face softened as well as his tone.

  Lucia nodded her answer. She wished his simple reassurances were enough to make her heal once and for all so these episodes would come to an end.

  "It wasn't your fault, you know," Luke said.

  "That's what you always tell me, but--" Lucia didn't bother to finish her thoughts. No matter how often Luke spoke those words, no matter how many times she repeated them to herself, like a prayer or a mantra, they were still only words. She never derived any lasting benefits from hearing them or saying them. It was an irrefutable fact that she didn't cause the car accident that had ended the life of her partner, Devin. She was neither there nor was she driving the car that had hit Devin's car. St
ill, she felt responsible for the chain of events that had led to the death of the woman she loved.

  Misfortune had dealt her a nasty blow, had severed her from everything that made up the sum and substance of her life. The blow had been swift, incisive, and had left her with a deep wound she was convinced would never heal. Those who cared had tried to remind her that the pain would pass and to some degree it had. But despite their kind words and well-meaning advice, she remained tormented by the things she couldn't reconcile.

  Death, an incomprehensible and merciless concept, was tough to grasp and no matter how hard she tried she was unable to come to grips with the fact that an adorable woman like Devin could have been in this world one second and gone the next. She was gone as fast as snapping your fingers or slamming a door in someone's face or squashing a spider with the sole of your shoe.

  Luke put his hand on top of hers. "But what?"

  "But I can't believe it." Lucia lowered her eyes and shook her head. "I can't." It was her fault she'd lost the most important person in her life. Her actions and words had set in motion the series of events that had led to Devin's accident. She didn't doubt for a minute that she'd made it happen one way or the other and she wondered how she would ever be able to forgive herself. When she learned of Devin's death she went numb all over. She fell to her knees and couldn't breathe. The first thought that came into her head, the only thought, was that it should have been her.

  "I know you blame yourself," Luke said. "But you need to accept that whatever you did wasn't what caused the accident and you need to find a way to forgive yourself."

  "I know, Luke, but I can't."

  "You have to if you're going to get on with your life."

  She looked up at him. "Ever since the accident, I've had my ups and downs. After I got through that horrible first year I started to have longer and longer periods when I felt better. But I still have times when I fall into a bottomless pit and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I can't seem to find a way out."