Serious Leigh (Literal Leigh Romance Diaries Book 2)

by Melanie James

  “No, Leigh. It is her. The witches say that Marie had become so famous that it was drawing too much attention to her magic. The voodoo was something she did, like an act, to throw people off of the idea that she was really a witch. Eventually, people in the city started to look at voodoo from a prejudiced point of view, and she faked her own death to get away from the public eye. She’s been living here in the French Quarter ever since, but keeping out of the eye of the public. She even owns a museum and a bar that she has other people run for her. I guess she still gets a pretty good income off of her voodoo.”

  “They’re on the move, it looks like they are heading back into the Quarter, let’s follow them. I could just choke Esmeralda for pulling this.”

  “If there are going to Marie’s bar, I’m not going in. There’s a mummified kitty on display in there. Just sickening! The poor thing.”

  And yes, according to the guidebook, Marie’s Voodoo Bar had an eerie mummified cat on display in a glass case behind the bar, along with other things to add to the creepy chic décor.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Shadowing the Witches

  We did our best to keep just far enough away so they wouldn’t notice they were being followed. I thought about all of the detective shows on television that had scenes with the private eye or undercover cop putting a tail on the suspect. It seemed to me that in the TV world being a private eye must be a very lucrative industry. It seemed Hollywood assumed it was completely normal for everyone to hire their own detective. Now that I had become an adult, I realized I never met anyone who had hired a private eye. In the real world, people prefer to do their own stalking.

  The witches didn’t seem to be in much of a hurry. At one point Esmeralda stopped to eye a window display in a leather fetish shop. The two went inside. We positioned ourselves across the street and stayed out of sight. After a while curiosity got the best of us and we crossed the street. Gertie peered in the window while I crouched behind her.

  Gertie relayed her observations to me. “I think whatever they have planned involves riding horses. It looks like Esmeralda is trying out a riding crop. Wait! I think that it also involves going to a pig farm. Marie just picked up what looks like an old time hog whip.”

  “Hog whip?” I remembered it was Gertie making the observations. “Gertie. No, hun, this is a fetish shop, not a livestock supply store. They are checking out kinky stuff.” I nudged in next to Gertie and looked inside. Marie and Esmeralda were laughing, and it was obvious they were just playing around. “I think we should get back across the street before they see us.” Gertie and I scooted back into the shadows across the street and waited.

  The witches came out of the shop, and it appeared they just stopped in to look around. They hadn’t bought anything. I became concerned that we were just wasting our time. “Gertie, do you think Esmeralda could be trying to fool Marie into thinking that she is still on their side? Or do you think her and Marie are plotting something that we don’t know about?”

  “Let’s follow them a little longer and see if they give us any clues.”

  After a short walk, we realized the witches were heading to Café Du Monde, the famous French Market coffee and beignets stand. It is an obligatory stop for anyone visiting the French Quarter, and rightfully so. The witches were soon seated at a little table under the large green awning. I suggested we simply sneak in to see if we could eavesdrop. We both agreed to not get lost in our thoughts, less the mind reading witches picked up our vibes.

  We could hear Esmeralda’s voice. “I, for one, have no desire to wait any longer. I think it is time to get rid of them.”

  Marie replied, “You know, its serious business we are talking about. These aren’t some trashy little witches off the streets. These are made witches, women with powerful connections. They have built the union up from nothing into a machine that can steamroll anyone that gets in their way. Don’t let their sophisticated air fool you. They scratched and clawed their way up from the streets. And when I say streets, I’m talking from around the year twelve hundred when witchcraft was forced underground.”

  “Marie, their reputations exceed their actual capabilities. They can’t control the whole supernatural world without having to rely on the magic of those two dimwit baby witches.”

  I started to get up to yell at Esmeralda. I didn’t appreciate her referring to Gertie and me as dimwitted babes. I wanted to give her a scathing verbal takedown that only a pissed off elementary school teacher from Chicago could deliver. Thankfully, Gertie noticed my reaction and held my arm. “Don’t. Just don’t say it,” she whispered.

  Now I could hear Marie speaking. “One thing I know about having a frightening reputation is that it is often more powerful than actual threats. If the supernaturals believe it, they will fear it. I know this because that is the premise behind the power of voodoo. It’s the same damn thing. Those two young witches have come across some special gifts. I’m glad that I figured out your plot, because I didn’t think I could ever do this alone. When we take over the union, we’ll have to be sure to take good care of those young rookies. Real good care.”

  Esmeralda and Marie began to cackle, a very witchy sounding cackle.

  I couldn’t take it another minute. It was obvious that Marie had uncovered Esmeralda’s planned takeover of the union and she wanted in on it. They still needed my magic writing power and Gertie’s power to create magical creatures. When they got what they wanted, we would be sleeping with the fishes, as they once said in Cicero. At least that’s what Kelly’s uncle, Carmine, says. Then again, he’s watched a lot of movies, and he is a legendary bullshitter.

  We were in a public place. From every old gangster movie I’ve seen, it was always considered safer to “discuss” any points of contention in a public place. Too many witnesses for anything to go sour. At least I hoped I remembered that correctly. I was too pissed off to be frightened. I had no intention of letting these witches use us and then dispose of us.

  “Listen here! You witches—” My building tirade was interrupted by the loud ringtone from my cellphone. It was the song I had selected for when my sister called me. Girls Just Wanna have Fun, Oh Girls—

  The unexpected ringing startled Gertie who had since crawled under the table for cover. “Sweet baby Jesus!”

  “Excuse me.” I said as I shut the ringer off on my phone. My sister could talk to voicemail for now. “All right, now where the hell was I? Oh. You witches better both listen and listen well. Gertie and I are not your goddamned pawns to be used and then disposed of later. We know all about what you intend to do with us when you’re done. And another thing—”

  Esmeralda snapped her fingers and my words were reduced to little squeaking sounds. Everyone else in the café that wasn’t a witch was instantly frozen. She leaned back and looked at me with an evil smile, and then she offered me some words of wisdom. If you want to call them that. “It is more shameful to mistrust your friends than to be betrayed by them.”

  Marie gave Esmeralda an approving nudge on the shoulder. “Ooh, I like that! Well said, Ezzie. Well said. Did you come up with that?”

  “I wish. I actually read that from a fortune cookie I opened about forty years ago. I’ve been dying for a chance to use it.”

  It was finally time for Gertie to join in. “Well, that doesn’t even make sense to me—”

  Esmeralda’s finger snapped and then she joined me in the squeaky chorus. “No, you listen up Cagney and Lacey.”

  Marie spoke quietly to herself. “Oh, I miss that show, I just miss it.”

  Esmeralda nodded towards Marie. “Marie here is joining us on our takeover. Thanks to her, our chances for success have just increased dramatically. As far as your future, neither of us have ever suggested that you would be disposed of. Your words. Not mine. So don’t give me any ideas. Now, if you are tired of sounding like mice and you can talk without babbling like an idiot, I’ll give you your voices back.”

  I nodded and our voices ret
urned. “We heard Marie. She said that you two would take care of us real good. That has a very loaded meaning to me.”

  Marie answered, “Listen, Sweetie, I meant exactly what I said. Literally. We’ll take real good care of you for helping out and to make sure you will be available for any favors we need in the future. I just happen to have eight tickets to the Witches Halloween Gala in Salem this year. It is the absolute top of the line bling flingin’, hip-hoppin’ place to be for all witches, but only a select number get to actually go to it. You want to know what they had in the gift bags last year? A yearlong membership to the Stud Of The Month Club, a trip to Saint Moritz, and some mink slippers, just to name a few.”

  “That mink slipper business has to stop.” Gertie interrupted.

  “Pull up a chair, witches. Let’s get down to brass tacks and figure out a way to get this over with before the two of you find a way to ruin everything.”

  We stayed and talked until it was quite late. Our impromptu meeting was very informative. I got a chance to get to know Marie better, and it turned out that I really liked her. She was born in Haiti and came to New Orleans when her father fled from the Haitian revolution, which was happening at the time. Since he was a free man, and an entrepreneur with ties to many powerful people in the French government, it wasn’t safe for him to stay in Haiti. Marie’s family, and many others that fled to New Orleans, brought with them the ancient religion of voodoo they had once practiced in Africa. It spread throughout Haiti and then to New Orleans. She is a wealth of information on the true power of magic, and she has a great sense of humor as well.

  I can’t say that I truly like Esmeralda, but I like certain qualities about her. She doesn’t take any garbage from anyone. She is proud to be a woman and despite her abrasive personality, she truly is a fighter for the oppressed. I also learned about how the union was formed by Isabel and Hilda. They didn’t start out to be evil, power hungry witches, but centuries of oppression against not only witches but women in general had worn down their morals. Everyone is quick to say that the end never justifies the means, but when you are getting taken advantage of repeatedly at every turn, and suddenly you realize you have a powerful way to reverse your fate—well, it can become pretty tempting. I suppose that is how corruption starts in many corners of society.

  Of course we devised a plan. It would be secret, simple, and swift. The first phase fell on me. Marie told us that Hilda and Isabel were the most powerful and cunning witches she had ever met. They would have to be captured in order to move forward with the plan. Assassination was completely out of the question. It would be up to me to create a literary character that would become, at least temporarily, the shapeshifter-wolf-vampire-hybrid. I had some ideas in mind. Gertie and I went to get Luna, and we zapped right back to my place.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Bound to Forget

  It was Monday evening already and I still hadn’t moved forward with my assigned task. I paced back and forth in front of my desk. Soon I was joined by Luna. She paced back and forth with me. Gertie had brought along a case of crafting supplies and was concentrating on creating some of her unique art to brighten up my apartment. “Well, I’ve thought this through, over and over with every scenario. I need a man that I know by name to become Vlad for just this weekend. I can’t use Hunter for a number of reasons. And besides, he is up to his neck in police training. I can’t use any of the male teachers because I just know it would end up badly for me this next school term. I can’t use Derek or Luke because they are the wolf hunters, and of course there’s the little detail that Kelly and Lindsey have them busy working over at Lindsey’s house this weekend. That leaves just one. You know who.”

  “Randy Johnson.” Gertie said, barely looking up from gluing a foam part to a giant ladybug.

  ‘That’s right, Kelly’s brother, Randy Johnson. Wait, no. I mean Randy Franchetti. You’ll have to call Randy and ask him to stop by. We’ll have a talk with him. I have a feeling that he will agree to it.”

  “When should we do it?”

  “You should call him right away and have him come over the day before he has to become Vlad.”

  “Leigh, I may not be the brightest when it comes to men, relationships, and all that, but why in the world would you want to make Randy into your former book boyfriend? Randy of all people, you know what I mean by that.”

  “Yeah. I know this is really going to sound crazy, but I am really done with the Vlad of my dreams. I have the Hunter of my dreams now. This will close the door on Vlad forever.”

  “I guess it doesn’t sound crazy. Maybe a little bit, but I think I understand why you want to do this. Couldn’t you use Brad, the hot fireman?”

  “I thought of him, too. I’ve never met him. I don’t know him at all. Plus, he was already written in as a hot fireman for you. Go ahead and call Randy. Here, take my phone.”

  Randy readily agreed to come over for lunch on Thursday. Just a relaxing lunch with friends. The less he knew, the better at this point. I would be doing plenty of lying come Thursday. I still had a few logistical issues to iron out, but I would get it figured out later.

  Tuesday morning I awoke to my sister’s ringtone and I remembered that I hadn’t called her back since I missed her last call on Sunday. To my surprise, Sarah and the kids were in town, staying at my parents. Bill had a conference to attend in Chicago. They took the opportunity to use some frequent flier miles and spend some time with Mom and Dad.

  I was ecstatic to see my sister. It was a beautiful day, and I suggested that Gertie and I come by and meet up. From there we could all go someplace that the kids would like to see. It worked out fine, the kids wanted to go to the Shedd Aquarium. Before long we were a rowdy gang snaking away through the crowds. Gertie commented on something I had decided not to bring up. I quickly changed the topic. Sarah had placed little backpacks on two of her kids. The backpacks were shaped like monkeys and had a leash attached. Yes, she leashed her kids. Now I completely understand why a parent would do that. I’ve seen how those kids can be in a crowd. If she didn’t have them restrained, she would most certainly never see them again. They didn’t listen. I assumed she had raised them to learn a foreign language that neither she nor Bill could speak. If I wasn’t at the hospital when they were born, I would have figured she had taken in feral children. There was a possibility there was a mix up at the hospital, I suppose.

  Something magical did happen, though. The children were extremely excited at something at the Beluga whale tank. It seemed that somehow the normally pale-skinned Belugas had mysteriously become very colorful. The trainers and marine biologists gathered at the edge of the pool to see for themselves. Each small whale was now a color of the rainbow. I looked at Gertie and she only winked at me.

  At some point I cornered Sarah. I followed up on her experiment to rekindle the passion with Bill by reenacting something from her erotic book, Bound to Forget. Of course, things had been too hectic, and her entire sex life was still neatly tucked away with half a pack of batteries on a closet shelf. She reminded me that it was the last night in town for her family. When she asked if Gertie and I could watch the kids, I agreed on the condition that they remained leashed. I also requested muzzles, but apparently she left those in Pittsburgh.

  The afternoon was slipping away. Gertie and I split off with my two nephews and little niece. The children, as it turned out, were complete angels once they were away from their mother. I reasoned they were reacting to strong vibes of her stress and frustration. The plan was to have them all hang out overnight at my place so Sarah and Bill could make a little progress on putting some intimacy back in their marriage. My parents had to be at an Optimist’s Club banquet. To be honest, I have no idea what they do there or why they go there. I don’t get it, not at all. My father is the diametrically opposite of an optimist. He had to have lied his way into that club.

  The kids had a blast making crafts with Gertie. Luna actually joined in on the fun until the kids decided
to rub her belly. After that she disappeared for the night. Children have the unexplainable ability to go from completely healthy to having the symptoms of being ravaged by every microbe known to attack the human digestive track. As my clock struck ten that night, that is exactly what happened. Multiplied by three, it was awful. It was accompanied by the sudden urge to display a fierce case of separation anxiety, times three. I had to promise them that they could go back to grandma and grandpa’s house to be with momma. Of course, there was no answer on the home phone, Sarah’s cell, or Bill’s cell.

  I delayed our departure and hoped for things to improve, but it got worse. An hour later I was pulling into my parents’ driveway unannounced. Thankful I still had a key, I brought everyone into the darkened living room. The kids immediately passed out asleep on the couch. We heard a sound. Gertie and I strained to listen. It was a strange sound. Like a barking sound. “Ork, ork, ork.” Then silence. Gertie figured it was my parents’ Chihuahua, Trixie. Why they gave her a porn-star name I have no idea.

  We heard it again. “Ork, ork, ork.” Then we heard clapping. I turned on a few lights in the living room and we looked around for the little dog. I could hear my sister’s voice from the bedroom. I didn’t know what she was saying, but her tone was terse and forceful. Suddenly, Bill came charging down the hallway. He was stark naked. He held his hands in front of him. As he got to the lighted living room, we saw that his wrists were handcuffed together in silver cuffs. The surreal scene was topped off by the pink fuzzy material that covered the bands on his wrists. Then we saw that his entire groin was covered in a thick coat of red wax.