Saving Rain

by Karen-Anne Stewart

  Witnessing the earlier carefree attitude dissipate from her lovely face, Kas tenses as his heart restricts when her usual guardedness returns. Kas knows that she has started to lower her defensive barriers the past few days with him, and he’s bound and determined to chip away at her wall until it’s nothing but a pile of rubble at her feet. He knows that he only has a week or so left with her before she will be healed enough to be on her own without too much worry. He also knows that it’s not enough time. Before he has time to change his mind, he blurts out, “I don’t want you going back to the cabin, it’s too secluded, and that makes it dangerous.”

  Raina stops walking and swallows her desire to tell him that she would stay with him forever if he just wanted her. Meeting his gaze over the hood of the jeep, she replies wistfully, sorrow darkening her jade eyes, “Don’t worry, I won’t be dating again anytime soon.” She opens the door and slips inside, the cold leather of the seat matching the coldness gripping her heart.

  Pain slices through Kas’ soul. He deflates at how her understanding of dating correlates with physical harm. The ride back home is quiet, with just polite pleasantries being exchanged. The silence is deafening as Raina stares out the side window so lost in thought that she sees nothing of the beautiful scenery. Stealing glances at her, Kas longs to pull her into his arms and kiss away the pain and sadness. He feels shamefully inept. He is sitting less than two feet away from her, but her emotions are untouchable, wrapped up so tightly and locked worlds away in the impenetrable fortress she has built, unknowingly making herself her own prisoner. The solace of the moonlit night does nothing to ease the desolation dominating both of their hearts.

  The fierceness of Kas’ grip on the steering wheel causes prickly sensations to dance like hot needles through his fingers before they grow numb from the punishing grasp. His need to relieve the despair she desperately tries to hide attacks and seizes his entire being. His vigilance to protect her, to possess her, to heal her, drives him nearly mad with grief as his futile sense of debilitation drowns his spirit in the incensing ignorance of not knowing what to do to break through her condemning barriers and rescue her.

  Later that night, Raina crawls into bed and wraps the comforter tightly around her, loneliness stirring a despairing emptiness stronger than she has ever felt.

  Rain pattering against the window awakens Raina. She throws the covers off and slides out of bed, refusing to let unrequited emotions ruin the last few days she has with Kas. She decides she is going to cook a huge breakfast as a thank you for their evening last night. She flips the lights on, illuminating the kitchen in fluorescent brightness. When she reaches to get the glasses down from the cabinet, she stretches too far, causing fire to tear through her burning ribs. Shocked by the unexpected shot of agony, she cries out in pain. One of the glasses slips from her grasp, falling to the floor, sending dozens of sharp shards scattering across the wood. Raina ignores the pain and drops to her knees, quickly picking up the broken glass.

  Kas’ heart pounds through his chest when Raina’s cry tears him out of his troubled slumber, and he hears something shatter. Not taking the time to put on his shirt, he runs into the kitchen and sees Raina kneeling on the floor, cleaning up broken glass with her bare hands. He is about to tell her to stop when bright red liquid oozes from her finger as one of the jagged shards slices her, causing blood to drip onto the floor. Raina looks up just in time to see Kas quickly coming towards her, and her stomach ties into a million tight knots.

  Kneeling down beside Raina, Kas reaches to grab the towel from the counter above her. He stops short when she throws her hand up, turning her head away and squeezing her eyes shut, instinctively protecting herself from a blow that he would never have administered. Rage runs rampant inside of him. He wishes he could maim the men responsible for causing her to have such an ingrained defensive reaction.

  Kas focuses on reining in his rage, not wanting to scare Raina any more than she already is. Sitting back on his heels, he gives her some space before he tells her in as much of a calming tone as he can manage at the moment, “You will find out that I’m not like them. I won’t punish you for having an accident, and I won’t punish you when you do something wrong or something I don’t like.” He looks her squarely in the eyes and, with as much reassurance as he can possibly fit into a glance, he tells her, “I don’t hit, darlin’.”

  Shame and embarrassment darkens her face as she mumbles, “I’m sorry.”

  Kas moves towards her slowly, being careful not to make any quick movements that could frighten her. He curses under his breath when he sees that her finger is still bleeding and how she seems more concerned with trying to clean up the rest of the glass than taking care of the cut. He bitterly wonders at how severely her father must have punished her for her to react so quickly and defensively over something as trivial as a broken glass. “I’m going to get you a towel for your finger, leave the glass, I’ll get it with the broom.”

  Desperately needing a distraction from her embarrassment of how she cringed like a cornered rabbit, she continues to pick up the shards of glass, “I’ve got it.”

  Kas makes a mental note to beat the hell out of her father if he ever finds out who he is. He firmly, but gently, grabs her hand and wraps the towel around her finger. He hates the way she’s avoiding his gaze, the way shame has impinged her beautiful eyes. Helping her stand, he sees the brief flash of pain replace the shame, and he knows she has hurt herself by kneeling on the floor like that with broken and cracked ribs.

  Gently taking Raina’s finger, Kas places it under the faucet before grabbing some peroxide out of the cabinet. “This might sting a bit,” he warns her as he pours some over the cut. Once he’s satisfied that the bleeding has stopped, and she doesn’t require stitches, he wraps a band aid around it before slowly bringing her injured finger to his lips and kissing the tip.

  The jolt of electricity from his lips caressing the tip of finger brings her back to reality, out of the fog of shame where she was temporarily lost. He said ‘them,’ Raina realizes in a panic. “What did you mean by ‘them’?”

  Kas gazes into Raina’s questioning jade eyes and lets out a long, slow breath. “I know your father abused you,” he confesses.

  Her eyes widen, and she starts to pull her hand away, needing some distance to absorb this new information, but Kas refuses to release her. Pulling her closer to him, he runs the back of his fingers down the side of her face, so pleased and relieved that she doesn’t flinch this time.

  “While you were still in a coma, the doctor ran tests that showed evidence of abuse,” he starts carefully, gauging her reaction. Raina lowers her gaze, trying to process just how much Kas knows, but he tilts her chin back up, to where she can’t look away, and musters up the courage to finally ask, his voice barely above a whisper, “What is your real name, Raina?”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The color drains from Raina’s face as her brain registers Kas’ question. She pulls her chin out of his gentle grasp and turns away from him. Instinctively, she wraps her arms around her middle, ignoring the protesting throbbing from her sensitive ribs. Numbly, she walks across the room, her mind desperately grasping for something, anything, that can stop the questions that she is convinced will follow.

  Kas stares at her retreating back as he runs an agitated hand through his hair. Gritting his teeth, he bites back a string of colorful expletives. Today is her birthday, or at least that’s the birth date that was listed on the release forms, and this is not how he planned on starting out the day.

  Raina hears the soft sound of his footsteps as he comes up behind her, and she tenses, knowing that he will expect answers that she isn’t ready to give, that she may never be ready to give. Kas wraps his arms around her and pulls her to where her rigid back is pressed tightly against his bare chest. Leaning down, he presses his lips to the top of her head, inhaling the soft berry scent of her hair. “Talk to me, sweetheart,” he gently coaxes.

  He feels her s
tiffen, and he turns her around, running his comforting hands up and down her arms. “I’m sorry about bringing it up like this, it’s not what I planned. It’s just that I noticed you didn’t have any emergency contacts on your medical forms and that it was a tax payer ID that was listed instead of a social security number. I thought that was odd, and after what the doctor said about the abuse, I started checking, and nothing pulled up under your name prior to four years ago.”

  Raina shakes her head, trying to free the cobwebs that have taken over. “It’s legal, the tax payer ID, my name, it’s all legal,” she mutters, praying that he will not push any further but knowing the questions have just begun.

  Kas brushes his lips softly across her forehead, “I never said they weren’t, darlin’, but why do you not exist before your sixteenth birthday? Is it because of your father? Are you hiding from him, sweetheart?”

  Raina pulls away, angry at him for his prodding questions, angry at her father, angry at herself for not being careful enough to cover her tracks better.

  Kas sees the anger flashing in her eyes and feels a rush of relief. Anger is better than fear. He can’t stand to see her afraid, it cripples him. “I need to know who your father is,” he states truthfully and unapologetically.

  Raina shakes her head vehemently. “There’s no need,” she replies firmly.

  “Rain, I can’t protect you if I don’t know who I’m supposed to protect you from.”

  “I don’t need you to protect me, I can take care of myself,” she snaps, and Kas isn’t sure if she’s trying to convince him or herself. Sorrow glints in her eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like that with you,” she tells him, the anger in her voice subsiding.

  Kas pulls her to him again and wraps his arms around her. Raina breathes in the clean, woodsy scent of him, and liquid heat runs through her as she presses her cheek against his bare chest. Her hands run across the firm muscles on his stomach to his strong back, and the warmth of his skin seeps into her, erasing the chill from the early morning and her memories.

  “You have nothing to apologize for, I’m the one who caught you off guard.” He kisses the top of her head, and despite her good senses, she leans into him, memorizing the feel of his hot body against hers.

  “Is your father the reason you changed your name?”

  Raina knows that he’s not going to stop until he gets at least some answers. “Raina is my real name, I just changed my last name. I’m not running from my father, I just needed a new start, a fresh name for a new place,” she offers, sincerely praying that it’s enough of an explanation.

  Seeing right through her vagueness, Kas refuses to settle for half-truths, “So, your father knows where you are?”

  Her lack of response is answer enough to prove to him that he doesn’t. “Okay, so I’m back to my earlier question. Is your father a threat to you if he finds out where you are?” Silence is his only answer. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he growls. “You’ve got to tell me who he is, darlin’,” Kas implores, pushing Raina back to where he can see her eyes, needing to be able to read her emotions.

  “It’s not like he’s going to come after me,” Raina offers, knowing that she isn’t worth enough to her father for him to waste time to track her down.

  Kas runs his hand down his face, trying very hard to think of the best way to get her to finally open up to him. “You’re sidestepping the questions. I’m thinking it’s a pretty safe assumption, from your lack of responses, that your father is still a threat to you if he happens to show up. Any kind of threat to you is something I take extremely seriously, so I will ask again, what’s your real name?” he demands gently.

  “Look, my father doesn’t know where I’m at, so that means that there is no threat,” she counters, her arms folded across her chest in stubborn defiance to his line of questioning. “My prior last name is of no importance to my current life. I appreciate all you have done, I really do, but I will not delve into my past with you, or with anyone for that matter, so with all due respect, just drop it,” Raina states matter-of-factly, her determined steady gaze showing him her intentions of leaving no option for further discussion.

  Kas knows well by now that Raina isn’t the type to offer guarded information freely, or easily, under the best intended circumstances, much less to someone who tries to force it out of her. Even though his mind is screaming for him to get more answers, he doesn’t want to push her too fast or too soon. “Fine, I’ll drop it...for now,” he relents, not wanting to push her away, or ruin her birthday.

  Raina’s hardened, guarded scowl softens a bit at his reluctant promise to leave well enough alone for now, and she unfolds her arms.

  Kas can tell by her shallow breathing that she has pushed her sore ribs too far this morning. “I need to take a look,” he tells her as he gently slides her t-shirt up, so he can examine her. A murderous scowl covers his face as he sees the dark, angry bruises covering the entire side of her ribs that look even worse than when he saw them at the hospital. “How much pain are you in, Raina?”

  She shrugs, trying her best to look unfazed, “I’m fine.”

  Kas gives her a weary look, “Darlin’, I wish I could strip that word from your vocabulary.” Lowering her shirt, he softly pushes her towards her room, “Go lie down. I will bring my heating pad and a couple of aspirin.”

  Raina shakes her head, “I don’t need to lie down, I’m fi—,” she begins, but his warning glare stops her from finishing the word.

  He points to her room and nudges her again, his gaze not leaving any room for disobedience, so she obeys.

  Kas grabs the heating pad from the closet and the aspirin from the cabinet before opening the fridge and taking out the box hidden in the back. He holds the chocolate cupcake that he managed to sneak out and buy from the local bakery yesterday while Chase stayed at the house with Raina as she took her daily nap that he insists upon until she heals. Quickly lighting a candle, he carries all the goods with him to her room. He is pleased to see that she has done as he asked and is resting on the bed. His face breaks out into a smile at the surprised look on her face when he starts his rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’.

  Kas finishes singing and pulls the cupcake from the hiding space behind his back. Looking down at her, he flashes his drop-dead gorgeous smile that reaches all the way up to his dark chocolate eyes. “Blow out your candle, and make a wish.”

  Raina’s earlier surliness disappears, and she is dumbfounded by his thoughtfulness. Her heart patters longingly for him, for the kind, sweet type of man Kas so obviously personifies. The tears that have been recently awakened from a very long, deep sleep threaten to appear, and she closes her eyes, pushing them back. She does as Kas had asked and makes a wish. She wishes for something that she’s terrified she will never be able to have. She wishes with all of her heart for Kas.

  Opening her eyes, Raina settles her sparkling jade eyes in the comfort of his gaze. Never breaking the candid honesty their gazes confess when their timid hearts don’t yet have the courage to admit, she blows out the candle. “Thank you so much, this is so kind of you,” she tells him, a little of the emotions she is usually very good at squelching slipping through.

  “I saw your birth date on your hospital records, and I took a guess about the cupcake flavor. The bakery makes its own homemade chocolate icing, and it’s sinfully good. I hope you like it.”

  Breaking the gigantic cupcake in half, Raina hands one part to Kas before sinking her teeth into the decadent richness. She licks her lips and beams, “It’s perfect.”

  After soothing her ribs under the heating pad and taking a nap that she didn’t argue about this time, Raina is feeling much better. She takes another shower, a long relaxing one, before spending extra time getting ready. Slowly slipping into her favorite pair of dark denim jeans, she buttons them carefully, letting the fabric meld with her sore abdomen and ribs. She finds that, although it’s not nearly as comfortable as her yoga pants, they aren’t unbearable. She
will gladly deal with the less comfortable material today, she’s too excited about wherever Kas is going to take her than to worry about anything else right now.

  Despite the darker bruises on Raina’s ribs, the bruises on her face have healed well, fading to a yellowish brown that she thinks she can mostly cover with concealer. She rarely uses make-up, but she keeps it on hand for emergency touch-ups, like dark circles under her eyes after long nights of studying. She says a quick prayer that the concealer will work as well to cover the bruises as it does to hide the dark circles.

  After she is satisfied with her face, Raina scrutinizes her tops, trying to find something attractive to wear from the clothes Chase had packed for her, deciding on a white lace camisole and a plum cable knit cardigan. Without a hairdryer or a straightener, she does the best she can to tame her auburn locks. Smoothing a little gel through her waves, she scrunches them to maximize the soft curls. With one last glance in the mirror, she sighs. “Well, that’s as good as it’s gonna get,” she tells her reflection and heads towards the living room.

  Kas puts his book down as she enters the room and takes a long appreciative look, her natural beauty leaving him momentarily breathless. Standing up, he never takes his eyes off of her, “You look beautiful.”

  The blush that spreads across her cheeks does funny things to him, and he walks towards her, taking her hand in his, slowly bringing it to his lips. The power of his lips brushing against her knuckles, with the barest whisper of a touch, sends Raina reeling into a tornado of desire and raw, savage need. Her knees all but buckle under the intensity of her feelings for him.