Saving Rain

by Karen-Anne Stewart

Chase closes his phone, knowing that he should feel guilty at deceiving her, but he knows that this calls for drastic measures, and he will do just about anything to stop the pain of his two closest friends. “Be at my place at 6:30, not a minute before,” he instructs Kas as he grabs his keys.

  Kas steps in front of him, “What are you planning, Chase?”

  “Just trust me. I will see you at 6:30, bring your key, and lock the door behind you as soon as you get inside.”

  Kas watches Chase leave, confusion and curiosity clouding his thoughts.

  Checking his watch, Chase pulls out of Kas’ drive at 5:50. He has twenty-five minutes to make it to his place before the time he asked Raina to arrive. He goes over what he’s going to say in his head, planning out each possible scenario of her reactions and coming up with the best strategy to intervene. Once his car is parked, he rushes through the garage to the elevators. He makes it inside with five minutes to spare, and he throws off his jacket and tie, dimming the lights slightly, wanting to make it as comforting as possible. When his doorbell rings, he takes a deep, steadying breath as he opens the door and invites Raina inside. “Thank you for coming, Rain,” he tells her as he leads her to the couch.

  Raina fidgets with her fingers, an obvious internal struggle is raging inside of her. “Is Kas alright?” her voice is barely above a whisper.

  Chase pulls a chair closer to her, “Kas is just worried about you, Raina, we both are.”

  She meets Chase’s eyes, her emotions again safely tucked away, not surprising him in the least. “I’m fine, I just can’t be around him right now.”

  He softens his gaze, “Can’t, or don’t want to be?”

  She gives him a startled look before suspicion darkens her jade eyes.

  Chase almost chuckles at her astuteness. He’s impressed at her quick wit and her ability to recognize an intervention when he knows good and well she’s never been cared enough about before in her life to have received one, with the exception of Judge Whitaker, from the details Kas gave him. He decides to not to beat around the bush, knowing she’s already on to him. “You can’t run away from this, Raina. You have to talk about it, running will not help anyone,” Chase’s voice is blunt but laced with concern.

  “So talking about it is supposed to make the pain go away? It will somehow magically change what happened?” Raina asks with anger rapidly building in her. He looks at her with that infuriating calm shrink expression, and it makes her want to scream.

  “Talking about it will help you vent the emotions it caused, help you to release some of the pain, some of the anger. It can help you face what happened.”

  She feels her cheeks flush with anger that is anything but pent up right now, “Face what happened? I faced what happened for eleven years, I think that is beyond sufficient!”

  “You experienced what happened, facing it, or coming to terms with it, is entirely different.”

  “Why is it so important to you and Kas for me to talk about what my father did to me? It’s in the past, it’s already happened, nothing I do or say will ever change that, so stop pushing me!” She runs her hands through her hair, frustration beginning to overwhelm her.

  Chase leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees as he cocks his head to one side, studying her carefully before he tells her unfazed, “There are good pushes, and there are bad pushes.”

  Raina wants to smack him, do something to make that neutral shrink face show some kind of emotion. She doesn’t like feeling this angry, feeling too close to losing control. She doesn’t lose control, she does whatever it takes to hold herself together, she has for years, until recently, and now she feels her control slipping away rapidly. She won’t let him push her to lose that control now. She loves Chase, she just doesn’t like him very much at the moment. Exasperated, she throws her hands up and heads toward the door.

  He beats her to it and stands in front of it as he studies her again, making her feel like she’s some kind of freaking science experiment.

  “It’s locked,” he states simply and so innocently.

  Raina stares at him incredibly, thinking that she must have misunderstood him. “It’s locked,” she repeats slowly, as if she can’t quite understand the concept.

  He nods his head softly at her.

  “So, you’re kidnapping me? Is there a good kind of kidnapping and a bad kind of kidnapping, too?” she asks, knowing full well how much of a brat she sounds like right now.

  He represses a smile, at any other time he would find Raina’s sarcasm hilarious, especially since she rarely reduces herself to it, but the circumstances behind it are void of any kind of humor. Chase reaches out and places his hands reassuringly on her shoulders, “I just want to talk with you.”

  Shrugging his hands off, she takes a step back, needing some kind of distance from him. However polite he may be, it still feels like an interrogation, except she doesn’t seem to have the option to plead the fifth and wait on a lawyer. “Look, on one level I know what you are trying to do, and I appreciate it, really I do, but on another level, you’re just pissing me off, and I am leaning towards the pissed-off level heavily right now, so I’m just going to go.”

  Chase is still standing in front of the door, so she reaches around him to turn the knob, but it really is locked, and she is about to lose it when she hears someone on the other side unlocking it. She gives him her best smug ‘now what are you going to do’ look as he steps out of the way. Her smugness quickly disappears as Kas opens the door then shuts it again, locking it behind him and putting the key in his pocket.

  “You have got to be kidding me!” she shrieks, glaring at both of them. “This is illegal, you cannot keep me here! I’m leaving,” she declares, her voice shaking from anger and panic from being cornered like this.

  Kas reaches out to her, but she steps back, out of his reach and throws her hands up in front of her. “Don’t, just don’t,” she can barely manage to whisper the words as she tries to breathe, to calm down and regain her composure that is slipping through her fingers like running water.

  “Rain, please talk to me,” Kas pleads, looking at her so full of concern, but she wants none of his concern right now, she just wants the stupid key.

  Chase pulls a chair up for her, but she just continues to glare at him. “Raina, it’s not healthy to keep your emotions bottled up like this.”

  Kas joins in the inquisition, “You have been through so much, and you just shut it out. You keep insisting you are fine.”

  “Have you ever considered the possibility that I AM fine?”

  “You get nervous when I’m angry. You put yourself in dangerous situations. You keep yourself so busy that you never get enough sleep. You barely eat. You—”

  “You are constantly in dangerous situations, I have seen you go days with only getting a few hours of sleep a night,” she shoots back, cutting him off from his list of strikes against her.

  Chase calmly steps in between, “Let’s sit down and calmly discuss this.”

  Kas gives Chase his annoyed look, and it’s nice to know that the controlled calmness is irritating him just as much as it is her.

  “Give. Me. The. Key!” she demands, holding out her hand.

  Chase shakes his head, “Raina, I will unlock the door after we talk.”

  “Is this how you treat your patients, locking them in a room until they agree to divulge? I’m surprised you aren’t inundated with lawsuits.”

  “No, I don’t lock in my patients, but you aren’t my patient, you’re my friend.”

  “I would hate to be your enemy, then,” she sulks, knowing that she sounds like a surly pre-teen.

  “I need you to talk to me, Raina, I need to know what happened,” Kas pushes.

  Raina knows there is no way out of this intervention they have concocted unless she does it underhandedly, which she usually wouldn’t do, but under the circumstances, she doesn’t care about playing nice. She holds her hands up in a surrendering gesture and looks at the fl
oor, knowing that her face will give away her true intentions. “I need a minute, just let me calm down and get some water first,” she offers, hoping she sounds convincing.

  Walking into the kitchen, she quickly scans the room for something to jar the French doors behind her. She hates heights, but it looks like the only way out of this is to go down the fire escape off of Chase’s balcony. She turns the water on so they think that she is actually doing what she said before grabbing the broom from the pantry and slipping out of the doors, ramming the broom between the two handles.

  Before she can change her mind, she reaches up and grabs the ladder, not daring to look down as she swings her legs over the side of his balcony. The wind seems to be on their side as it whips her hair into her face, making it hard to navigate the narrow fire escape, like it’s trying to convince her to go back inside. The metal is cold and damp from the early evening shower she had ducked into a coffee shop to avoid earlier. The dimming sunlight hinders a quick descent. Despite the cold and the wind, she can’t help but take a second to admire the pink and orange streaks glowing like fresh paint across a masterpiece in the late evening sky.

  The shaking of the French doors above her tears her from the beautiful sunset, and she climbs down the next ladder before jumping onto the next landing, causing a loud thud against the metal floor. She knows that there’s no way she will beat them to the ground, and she doesn’t feel like another confrontation any time soon, so she scans the balconies for any open curtains. It takes two more levels down before she spots what she needs. Throwing her legs over the balcony, she wishes she wasn’t wearing her skinny jeans and wishes she knew that today’s wardrobe choice should’ve involved something good for running marathons and scaling balconies.

  Like a final scolding, the wind thrusts its cold breeze against her, causing her to be momentarily blinded by her wild hair, and she hits the balcony floor square on her butt. She stands up and rubs her sore rear end, brushing off the backside of her jeans. Catching herself in the reflection, she frantically smoothes her wind whipped hair to a somewhat presentable state before knocking on the glass of the French doors. A few seconds later, she sees the surprised look from the apartment owner as he comes to her rescue. She musters up a friendly smile as a nice looking, twenty-something man with perfectly-gelled blond hair opens the doors for her.

  “Hi, I’m Raina, and I seem to be having a bit of a, um, a lock issue, and was wondering if you would mind if I used your door to go to the lobby?” she asks as innocently as possible, pointing upwards from where she came.

  The man seems a little too happy to help and smiles, offering her his hand while helping through the door. “Can I help you with anything, I’m pretty good with my hands?” he tells her, while one of his said hands is still holding onto hers, even though she is securely off of the balcony and in his kitchen.

  “That’s so sweet of you, I think I can manage from here, but thank you.” She politely pulls her hand from his, not wanting to explore what he meant by being good with his hands.

  “It’s really cooled down this evening, you are welcome to stay for a while to warm up if you like,” he offers before chuckling. “It’s not every day that a beautiful damsel in distress lands on my balcony,” he replies coyly, his voice as smooth as hot butter on pancakes and his eyes promising things that she’s not interested in, at least not with him.

  “I really must be going, I’m in a bit of a hurry, but thank you, again,” she manages, starting to feel uneasy and embarrassed with his eyes roaming over her unashamedly like she is some kind of candy he wants to devour.

  “Are you sure I can’t offer you something to drink before you go?” he tries again, this time taking her elbow softly in his hand and leading her towards the table.

  Inwardly, she groans as he flashes his perfectly white smile at her again, his gaze slipping appreciatively lower to the opening at the top of her blouse. She wonders how many women he has successively seduced with his playboy looks and abundant charm. She rolls her eyes, Of course I would have to choose Don Juan’s balcony. Will this night ever end!

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Chase pushes the elevator button and taps his foot impatiently, “Well, this isn’t one of the scenarios that I had planned.”

  “No kidding!” Kas responds, not even attempting to hide the sarcasm.

  They briskly walk through the lobby and head outside to the fire escape. Kas pulls the bottom ladder down and climbs up to the first landing, scanning upwards, not seeing Raina anywhere. “She couldn’t have made it down the fire escape that quickly.”

  Kas and Chase exchange exasperated glances.

  “That girl’s too smart for her own good,” Kas growls as they race back towards the lobby. They look on all twenty floors but can’t find a trace of her.

  Chase looks at Kas apologetically, “I’m sorry, bro, I thought it would work.”

  Kas lays his hand on Chase’s shoulder, “I know you did, I appreciate you trying.”

  Kas looks at his watch, 7:45. Glancing outside, he sees how dark it is. He knows that Raina only has whatever cash she has in her pocket and her cell phone on her. He has no idea of where she will go with classes over, and he worries about her being all alone in the dark. He tries to call her, but she’s still not answering. Kas runs his hands roughly over his face, “I’m going to drive around and look for her.”

  Chase glances at him, knowing that he realizes that the chances of finding her that way are slim to none, but he understands that Kas will go crazy doing nothing until she goes home. “I’ll go with you.”

  When Raina’s feet are too tired for her to walk any longer, she hails a cab and climbs into the back.

  “Where to, miss?”

  She looks at the cab driver’s reflection in the rearview mirror, his brown eyes waiting for her response, a response that she isn’t quite sure of anymore. “Please take me to Haines Point.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  She watches the city night life go by as they drive towards the Potomac River. When the cab stops, Raina pays the driver and counts the last bit of cash she has left on her. Just enough to get home, she thinks to herself as she sinks down on the soft grass, leaning against the cherry tree Kas stood under when he brought her there. It seems like a lifetime ago and just like yesterday at the same time. Resting her head against the trunk of the tree, she gazes up through the branches at the bright stars.

  Closing her eyes, flashes of her time with Kas play through her mind. She has never been happier than when she is with him. If she is completely honest with herself, she is so much happier with him than she thought she ever could be with anyone. She wishes she has the courage to just let the tears come, to allow herself to open up and finally let all the fears and sorrows of her past wash away with them. She throws her head in her hands and drops them on her knees, knowing the cleansing tears won’t come, not until she can let the past go, not until she can let her father go.

  Raina sits alone in the cool night air, letting the breeze blow around her, wishing it could blow away her humiliation and shame of Kas seeing the pictures of what her father did to her, his seeing a glimpse into her life before she met him. She desperately wanted to leave that part of her life behind, keep her past from tainting what she had hoped she and Kas would become. Biting her lip, she thinks of how Kas is so different than her father and Chris, how he has done nothing but try to protect her.

  Guilt slips into her heart at how she unleashed and directed her anger at him when he confessed that he searched her old life. She knows that he wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t feel he had a good reason for it. She was just so hurt and angry and utterly humiliated by Kas finding out some of her dirty secrets.

  She gazes back up at the stars and marvels at how they look so peaceful, twinkling in the night sky like there isn’t a care in the world. Being in Kas’ arms makes her feel that way. The only time she feels like she has ever truly belonged in this world is when she is in his arms. Bangin
g her head against the trunk of the tree, she chastises herself for being so stupid and running away from the best thing she ever had, even if she isn’t exactly sure what they are to each other. She stands up, dusts herself off, and walks to where she can hail another cab. She gives the driver instructions to take her home.

  Raina unlocks the door a little after 10:00 p.m. and sees Kas standing there, waiting on her.

  “Hey,” Kas greets her softly as she slips through the door. He looks tired and worried, and another flash of guilt runs through her.

  “Hey,” she manages sheepishly.

  “Look, Rain, I’m sorry about earlier tonight, I should’ve gone about it differently,” Kas readily admits, his voice full of resignation.

  He holds his hands out to her, and she places her hands in his before leaning into his warm, welcoming arms as he engulfs her in a hug. The cold from outside starts to evaporate as she snuggles closer into him. The feel of his muscles against her quickly diminishes any residual chill as she feels the heat seep into her cold body and into that forbidden area.

  She thinks of how she should still be furious with him at trying to force information out of her, even if he did it because he thinks it’s best. But she can’t stay mad at him when he looks at her with such sincerity and holds her so close, making her body treacherous and desperately wanting to feel him skin to skin, with her hands slowly exploring every inch of his strong, muscular body. She pulls away slightly, needing to put some distance between them before she gives in to temptation and lets her current vulnerable state overrule her mind.

  “Please talk to me, Rain. I can’t stand not knowing what happened to you, not knowing how to help you. If I don’t know what happened, I don’t know how to convince you that I will never make the same mistakes. I just wish you would trust me enough to talk to me, Rain,” Kas pleads, his voice raw and full of emotion.

  She snaps her head up to look at him. “You think that I am afraid you will hurt me like them?” she asks, her heart constricting with guilt. She would never want Kas to think that she thought he was the type of man to hurt her like that, or that she doesn’t trust him. He has been so good to her, and guilt swarms her as she looks away, ashamed and angry that she caused him to feel this way.