Forget Me Never

by M J Rutter

  When we returned to the living room, Mark had already poured us out more drinks and Emily, perfect, pristine Emily, was out in the back garden having a cigarette.

  “Since when?” Alec asked Mark after he told us.

  “Since the doctor told her to find a new coping mechanism to her stress.”

  “So she smokes?” Alec demanded.

  “Only a couple a day, but if it calms her down, what can I say?”

  “You can say, find another habit that won’t kill you,” Alec frowned.

  “Look, Alec, you know what she’s like, she won’t listen to me.” He sighed.

  “Well, I’ll tell her then.”

  “You are already in her bad books, I wouldn’t push it,” Mark warned. “She’ll find something else soon enough, but I have to say, she is much easier to get on with since she started smoking.”

  I sipped my wine dreading the second Emily would walk back in, I knew Alec was upset, because his eyes had glazed over and there seemed to be no talking him down. She came back into the room and she stank like she had been to a nightclub before they banned smoking in them.

  “Tell me, Emily, did you like not having Mum around when Scar was born?”

  “Her name is Scarlett and no, of course not.”

  “And do you like not having her to call when the girls are sick or have done really well in a test at school?”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “So then, explain to me why you are shortening your life by sucking on cancer sticks. Do you realise that you may get lung cancer and never get to see them grow up or have you around for anything?”

  “Listen, Alec, I need something. After yelling at you in May, I realised I was out of control, the doctor suggested Yoga, me.” She grinned. “So, either I continued to make everyone’s life a misery or smoke two cigarettes a day and for now it works, alright?”

  “Well, it’s your life,” Alec grumbled.

  “It is, just like your life is your life.”

  Mark and I talked about my job and life if anything but to ease the tension between the siblings. I suppose Alec was concerned for his sister’s health and that was understandable. He eventually stopped sulking and the evening ended up better than it started. We went to bed just after midnight, apparently Alec lived with them after he left school and before he started Uni, so we were going to be sleeping in his room.

  I woke early the next morning, my stomach swirled slightly, I expected no less as I was becoming accustomed to hangovers, though this was nothing in comparison to those I had suffered in America and considering neither of us drank much at all, it seemed that was all we did. I slowly climbed out of bed and crept down the landing to the bathroom.

  When I came out, Paige was standing there waiting.

  “Morning,” she whispered loudly.

  “Morning,” I replied in a whisper also.

  “Will you play Barbies with me? Scarlett won’t play with them now; she says she is too grown up to play.”

  I smiled, “I would love to.” I followed her to her room and we sat on the floor by here huge Barbie house. “I think I still have mine at home, I’ll ask my mum to find them out if you want them.” I said as I brushed some hair and began changing my doll’s clothes.

  “Yes please,” she smiled. She showed me all of her outfits and lifted the wedding dress. “I don’t have a Ken yet, so she can’t get married. Mummy says that you are going to marry Uncle Alec and become my new Auntie, is that right?”

  I felt my face warm, “He hasn’t asked me yet,” I replied nervously.

  “If he asks you, what will you say?”

  “Um, I think I would probably say yes,” I blushed. Her door opened and Alec poked his head around it.

  “I wondered where you had gone,” he said. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine,” I smiled praying for my blush would fade. “Are you?”

  “Yes, I am going to take a quick shower, thought we’d all go into the city today, are you up for it?”

  “I am,” Paige grinned.

  “We had better get dressed then.” I said and stood from the floor. “We’ll play again later, okay, Paige?”

  “Okay,” she smiled.

  “I never thought I’d see you playing with Barbies,” Alec grinned as we returned to his room.

  “How can anyone refuse her? She is adorable, they both are. In fact, I like your family very much.”

  “That is good to know,” he said as he turned to face me. “Now, can I have my good morning kiss?”

  “Not with that stale, beer breath,” I grinned. “Brush your teeth and I will consider it.”

  He left me to go and brush his teeth and shave. I got dressed in jeans and a light blue shirt. I put my hair up and finished with a little lip gloss. By that time, Alec had returned and began to search through his bag. I left him to it and headed down the stairs.

  I hadn’t noticed the night before, that the walls were covered in photographs. I could some of Alec when he was younger and the hair, wow, what a do? There was a picture of the four of them, Emily must have been in her teens and Alec about eight or nine. Both of their hairs were lighter then, Alec’s was almost white in the sun. Their parents looked so in love, the way she smiled at their father while holding Alec’s hand, the family radiated love and it bought tears to my eyes, because they didn’t deserve the pain they felt.

  I took another step down and found a picture of Alec with an attractive brunette. She had ice blue eyes and judging by her expression, she seemed to be no warmer either. Alec’s hair had gone wild, he had it combed over half of his face, I guessed he was about eighteen, I could see it wasn’t long after he had lost his parent’s because the spark he had in his eyes when he was a child had gone.

  Emily looked amazing on her wedding day, their father stood proudly at her side and a younger teenaged Alec looked like he wished he was anywhere but at a wedding. I smiled at his graduation picture, standing there proudly with his degree in between Mark and Emily. They seemed so close, even if they did fight.

  I found the kitchen and heard Emily and Mark talking, I hovered by the door making sure they were not having a private conversation.

  “I like her,” Mark said.

  “I do too, she seems so good for him. He is really happy with her.”

  “I can see that, the girls think she is wonderful, did you hear that Paige played Barbies with her this morning?”

  “Wow, she let her play with her Barbies, she won’t even let me do that,” Emily chuckled.

  “Well, he is serious about her,” Mark continued. “He even hinted that…”

  “Morning, Grace,” Scarlett said from behind me, I jumped out of my skin.

  “Morning, Scarlett.” I replied and followed her into the kitchen. Emily and Mark grinned, “Good morning,” I said chirpily.

  “I believe we are having a family day out,” Emily grinned. I nodded.

  “I can’t go, have that Rugby tournament going on at school, sorry.” Mark interrupted.

  “That’s alright,” Scarlett shrugged. “We can still have fun, right, Mum?”

  “Right,” she agreed. “Would you like some breakfast, Grace?”

  “No thank you, just a cup of tea would be fine please.” I replied.

  Mark left shortly after Alec came down stairs, he had some toast with the girls and we decided to go into the city in his car. Emily suggest we take the park and ride once we got there and I was actually excited about going out with them all.

  The girls asked if I would sit in between them in the back of the car, Emily and Alec talked about work and other family things while the girls and I talked about Hannah Montana and the mess she had got herself into, Barbies and books. They both loved to read and I found it intriguing to hear. I read all of the time growing up, Tracey Beaker and the Dumping Ground, Sweet Valley High and Twilight. The Hunger Games, all books I had enjoyed in my early to late teens.

  When we got off the bus after parking just out of th
e city, Alec took hold of my hand and both girls smiled at us. I didn’t realize that Oxford city centre was so big, not as big as London, but when you are walking around in the warm sunshine, it feels as big. Alec suggested we take the bus tour around the city so that we could see more and the girls loved the idea.

  Riding upstairs in an open top bus was so much better than trying to walk in heeled shoes. I have no idea of what I was thinking when I put them on, but glad to be sat down for an hour or so. We saw Oxford Castle and the huge Bodleian Library, the University and the hundred-year-old Hertford Bridge, known as the Bridge of Sighs, a sky walkway joining the college across one of the main roads. It was absolutely stunning.

  After our tour had finished we were able to get off near the Sheldonian Theatre and found a McDonalds on the nearby shopping centre so that we could have something to eat. Not my first choice, but the girls wanted to eat there, Alec and I shared some chicken nuggets and fries. The place was packed with children and teenagers, parents trying to get a cheap lunch. We sat on a large table and watched as Scarlett and Paige ate their wraps and picked at their fries. Emily had a salad and a diet coke, I wished I had got a salad, the nuggets were okay, but I could see Alec was not impressed.

  When we finally got out of the noise and back into the shopping centre, my eyes fell on the huge Waterstones book store that smelled as inviting as it looked, its coffee aroma wafted around us and it immediately made me want to go and buy some books.

  Scarlett and Paige wondered around with me while Alec and Emily got coffee and muffins to take home with us. I found a few children and young adult book series that had recently released and bought two books each for the girls. They had been so good and never asked for a thing, Alec still hadn’t given them their gifts he got them in America, so felt bad that we seemed to have come empty handed. I also found a couple of books for myself as well, I hadn’t read much since I had my own whirlwind romance going on, I felt a bit out of touch. Plus, I needed some more ideas for the bedroom, I don’t mind admitting.

  Alec and Emily waited while I paid for the books and we joined them at the door,

  “Mummy, Grace bought us books.” Paige announced on approach.

  “Aw, Grace, you didn’t have to.” Emily smiled.

  “I wanted to, they are so well behaved, Emily, a real credit to you.”

  “Thank you, but now they will expect something every time you see them.”

  “I don’t mind, I like getting new books too.” I shrugged.

  Paige snuggled in to me as we drove back to the house and dozed off to sleep. We’d had an amazing, but exhausting day out and the girls were little angels. Alec carried Paige into the house and Scarlett helped us in with the bags.

  “Uncle Alec really likes you, Grace.” Scarlett said following me to the kitchen.

  “Well, I really like him too,” I smiled.

  “Thank you for making him happy, I have never seen him happy before.” She added.

  “You and your sister make him happy too,” I insisted, “he is so proud of you and your little sister.” She grinned and lifted her books from the bag.

  “I am going to start ready,” she said and left me in the kitchen.

  Emily and Alec made Mexican food for dinner, I helped when they allowed me to, and by the time Mark got home we had Fajitas, soft tacos and Mexican rice with salad. We drank yet more wine with our meal, but I was determined not to drink that night. Alec offered to take everyone out, but Emily wouldn’t hear of it. She insisted that Alec ate out enough and after our day in the city and the girls needed an early night. It sounded good to me too. After the girls were in bed, Mark put on a movie and we snuggled down on one of the sofas and relaxed.

  Alec woke me with a kiss on my lips, my immediate thought was that he wanted sex and I warned him when he told me we were visiting his sister, that there would be no sex. I couldn’t, not with children in the house.

  “I told you, no,” I frowned before opening my eyes.

  “I know,” he muttered, “I need to take you somewhere.” He sat up, “Come on, get up.”

  I sighed as I pushed off the covers and climbed out of bed. I put on my turquoise dress that Alec seemed to like on me. The sun was shining and the room felt stuffy with the warmth pushing through the curtains, so I figured a dress would be fine, after all, I had no idea of where we were going. I slipped my feet into my wedged, strappy sandals and before we left, I was able to put on a bit of make-up. I had no idea of where he was talking me and his anxious demeanour unsettled me slightly.

  We got into the car and left the house just after nine. Everyone else was still sleep in the house, I guessed the day our really had worn the girls out. I wanted to ask him where we were going, but I think he enjoyed keeping me guessing. He stopped at a supermarket and leaving me in the car, he ran in and returned carrying a large bouquet of flowers and that’s when it hit me, he was taking me to his parent’s grave.

  He turned off the A34 and headed towards Evesham and after a few more miles, just before the sign stating we were in Evesham, he turned off the main road and drove us down a narrow, country lane. Set back from the road, surrounded by blossom trees and wild flowers, stood a small, light grey, stone church. The building looked old, but well kept. The emerald grass had recently been cut and its sweet scent wafted in through the air vents as he parked on the gravel car park and turned to me,

  “I hope you don’t mind,” he said.

  “I told you I would go with you,” I insisted and opened the door.

  Hand in hand, we walked across the soft grass and stopped at a black marble headstone. I stared at the names written in gold, Andrew and Maria Richards, Alec’s mum and dad. He dropped my hand and knelt on the grass, placing the flowers into a small vase at the foot of the headstone.

  “Mum, Dad, this is Grace.” He said, “She uh, she is amazing and I know you would love her, she’s perfect for me and I have never been so happy. I just wish you could meet her,” he reached his hand up to me. I stepped forward and took his hand, “I love her very much.” He added and looked up at me, his eyes were glassy with tears and the end of his nose had reddened, “I think she loves me too,” he smiled slightly.

  “I do, with all of my heart,” I croaked.

  He turned back to the stone and sniffed, “I miss you both so much,” he pecked his fingers and pressed them against their names. “We’ll come back and see you again soon, okay? I promise.” He stood from the grass and used a handkerchief to wipe his eyes, “Thank you,” he said.

  “No, Alec, thank you.” I smiled and pecked his lips tasting the salt from his tears. Folding my arms around his body, I held him there for a few moments. I looked around at the church yard, “It’s very beautiful here, peaceful,” I added as we parted.

  “This is where they got married, it would have been their thirtieth anniversary next weekend.” He explained looking back at the grave with a frown.

  “I am sure they will be celebrating.”

  “They did like to party,” he nodded. “There is somewhere else I want to show you, is that okay?”

  “Of course it is.” I smiled. He took my hand and led me from the graveyard back into the car.

  He drove us a few more miles up the road and stopped at a small car park beside a huge meadow. As far as the eye could, swaying in the warming breeze, were flowers of all colours, blue corn flowers, yellow butter cups and dandelions, large daisies and red poppies, Fox gloves and forget-me-nots, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

  “What do you think?” he asked.

  “It’s breath taking,” I smiled and opened the door, “can we walk through it?” I asked climbing out.

  “I hope so,” he replied as he joined me at my side, “I do own it.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, I bought it a few years after my parents died. I used to walk around here when I was younger, especially soon after, I felt the forget-me-nots bought me closer to my mum, she did love them, in fact she alw
ays talked of this meadow, she played here when she was growing up in the village behind the church. She met my dad walking back from here when she was just sixteen, he was here visiting family for the week and they fell in love. They got married before she left for medical school. He stuck by her so she could study and when she graduated, she got pregnant with Emily.” He gazed around, “When I come to see them, I always take a walk through the meadow and think of them after, it helps a lot. It used to be owned by a farm not too far away and apparently they needed some money, I saw the sign on one of my walks and made them a cash offer and they accepted it. It’s now my land to do what I want with, I could build a house if I wanted to, the only problem I have is, well, it is so beautiful, I can’t bring myself to dig it up.”

  “Alec, you can’t.” I frowned. “Not when it holds so many memories for you.”

  “I know,” he agreed, “and I don’t intend to, some things are better left untouched. Besides, my mum would kill me. I called it Maria’s Meadow after her, I don’t even think Emily knows about it. Come on,” he took my hand and towed me to the stile.

  “You should tell her, she could come here with the girls,” I stated as we stopped walking.

  “You’re right, it might help her kick that filthy habit.” He agreed and climbed over first.

  Once over he held out his hand. I stepped up onto the stile and then took his hand to keep me steady as I climbed over. He placed his hands either side of my waist and helped me down. The long grass and flowers tickled my legs as we walked through them, the scent filled my lungs as I took deep breaths while gazing around almost speechless.

  “This is so beautiful, Alec,” I said finally, “your mum would absolutely love that you bought this in her memory.” I could feel my heart pounding heavy in my chest, something felt awry and I couldn’t put my finger on it, maybe it was because I knew how much this meant to him and I didn’t want to say or do anything that would upset him. He took my hand as we continued walking through the flowers. Watching butterflies dance and bumble bees hover. The birds sang from the trees all around us and all I could do was smile.