“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” she’d said before she lowered her eyes to my lips.
“My friend will see and get upset with me.”
“It’s okay. Go be with your friends. I’m not going anywhere.”
That was the exchange between them that he’d heard in his mind. Now his eyes followed her as she interacted with other people throughout the room. She was easily mingling with everyone, not paying attention to him in the least, but he understood why now.
Formulating a plan as though it was one of his programs, he finished his beer and made his way out of the pub. He knew what needed to be done; he just needing to buy himself a little time in order for it to all play out the way he wanted.
After all, she’d said she loved him, and those were all the words he’d needed to hear.
***
I watched him leave the pub, relieved it was over.
“I just want to be happy right now, and not think about all the drama that comes with him,” I told Bethany when she came to stand by my side.
At least for tonight I could rest assured that he understood where I was coming from. He hadn’t made a fuss or caused a scene. I had clearly been undecided on the best approach to deal with him, but after months of worry, regret, and fear, it felt good to be with him and not have to worry about what might happen.
He had been my constant for nearly half a year, and without him, it seemed like I was missing part of myself. Why, I didn’t understand. He hadn’t treated me the way I felt I should have been treated, but maybe he just didn’t know how to treat another person in a relationship? Maybe, like me, he was new to being involved with someone? I wished this had been easier to figure out. The constant what-ifs made my head pound like a migraine, with flashing lights all around.
“Are you okay?”
Paul stopped talking as I set the drinks down.
I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to relieve some of the stress.
“I’m just tired,” I said softly as I held my head in my hands.
“How about I walk you home? I’ll give everyone a great excuse on how you just couldn’t wait to be alone with me.”
She looked up to meet his eyes. He was so beautiful, if a man could be called that, with his bright-blue eyes and light-brown hair.
He took her hand into his and began pulling her off the stool to escort her home.
Jumping down, she laughed as he put his hands out to catch her.
“Let’s get you home to rest. I’m sure you’re exhausted after all the moving. Some peace and quiet will do you good.”
“I haven’t felt that in months.”
“Well, then, I’ll just have to make sure you get some of that. One order of peace and quiet coming up.”
I worried I might not be ready to flirt with another guy again, even if it was innocent, but I was so tired that I took him up on his offer of walking me home and hoped for the peace he had promised. Yet all I could think about was what it would be like to kiss him.
Taking the question out of my hands, Paul placed his finger under my chin, lifting it so I would look him in the eyes. Seeing something in them that pleased him, he nodded once before kissing me on the lips.
Chapter Eight
“You know, I thought for a while that it was you that had me so concerned, but I realized a few days after we talked that there is something else.”
Puzzled, Roger’s brows bunched as he asked, “Something else? What do you mean?”
“It feels like someone is watching me.”
“What?! Where?”
He looked around the place where they were seated, his eyes taking in the people around them as they talked.
“At the apartment. At first I thought it was you.” Hurrying to clarify, Clara continued. “After the phone calls didn’t stop and I refused to talk to you, I thought you were following me and watching me at my place.”
“I could understand how you would think that, but Clara, after we broke up and you stopped taking my calls, I went into therapy to get my anger under control.”
“Wait, you did what?”
Shock radiated from her as her brows shot up in surprise. She leaped up from her chair to stand in front of him, causing him to take a step back.
“Clara, I just got back when I saw you at the coffee shop for the first time. I haven’t been around for months. I went into therapy and took a semester sabbatical to figure out my issues.”
“You did that for me?”
“No. Well, yeah, in a way, but no mostly for me.”
“Oh, my gosh, Roger!”
She hugged him so hard, and he was stunned before he returned the hug he had so desperately longed for.
“I really am sorry, Clara. I just lost it. I can’t forgive myself for hurting you like that. Then walking away without checking to make sure you were alright.”
“So, can we be together now?”
“Is that what you want, honey? I won’t push you, but I would like nothing more than to make it up to you somehow.”
“I missed you so much, Roger. When things were good between us they were the best times of my life. I found such peace when we…”
Chuckling, Roger just whispered in her ear, his hot breath against the lobe causing desire to shoot throughout her body. “I enjoyed that too, baby.”
***
Laughing, I pushed against him for some much-needed distance.
With a smile that reached her eyes, Bethany approached the table with Brian at her side.
“Wow, I haven’t seen that smile is so long! Paul, you behaving?”
Twisting to meet his gaze, I saw some sort of unspoken communication pass between Bethany and Paul.
“Yeah, thank you, Bethany. I just want you to know, though, that it’s none of your business.”
He chuckled as Roger watched them from the corner table of the coffee shop.
“Come on, baby, let’s leave these two lovebirds alone,” Brian said, chiming in.
“Thanks, Brian.”
Paul was smiling as he drew me closer to his side.
I went willingly, seemingly happy with our new relationship.
Bethany just watched without saying anything at first.
“It’s just…” She stopped speaking as a tear slide down her face. “It’s just so good to see Clara happy again.”
Then she returned to her boyfriend as they made their way out the door.
***
“Wait, if I wasn’t the one that was watching you, who was watching you?”
Concern breaching their happy reunion, Roger remembered her words from earlier.
I just shrugged.
“I’m sure with the move, it’ll be better now. Let’s just keep where I live between us, okay?”
He heard her say all this in his head as though she were sitting right next to him the entire time.
“Anything you want, baby.”
Roger brought her hand to his lips, kissing it as her eyes blazed with lust.
Keeping her close, he pulled her into his lap, where she belonged.
“I love you, baby. Please let me help keep you safe. It’s okay, baby, I have you now. I won’t let anyone—even me—hurt you ever again.”
Sighing with relief, she relaxed into his embrace, lulled by the music as she closed her eyes for a moment.
***
My eyes opened to the sounds of the birds crying out their morning wake-up call. With the distinct smell of coffee in the air, I stretched, marveling over the sound sleep I’d had as I turned to face my alarm. Then I realized that it wasn’t my alarm. Pausing as I pulled the sheets up to my chest, I looked around the room as he walked in with a cup that smelled like heaven on earth.
“Paul?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“Why am I here? Where are we?”
Reaching for the cup and taking a long sip, I had no memory from the night before. I looked down, only to discover that I was completely dressed in last night’s clothes.
“
Did you think you were naked?”
Sipping on his own cup of coffee, Paul just smirked as he watched her reaction.
“Well, I was actually a bit concerned when I didn’t know where I was.”
He laughed as he took another sip of his coffee.
“I bet.”
He wasn’t offering anything more as an explanation of how I’d ended up in what I presumed was his bed. He just drank his coffee and watched me.
“Are you going to explain any time soon?”
Annoyed at him for just sitting there, I took another sip of coffee, tampering down the urge to run out the door.
“What do you remember?” he asked as he eyed me.
“Last thing I remember was sitting on your lap at the bar. I recall closing my eyes and listening to the music, but that’s it. What happened next?”
“You fell asleep. Must have been a great sleep, because you snored loud enough to wake the dead. I had to remove you from the bar. The patrons were complaining about the horrid noises you were making.”
Raising a brow as he took another sip, steam enveloped his features in the process, making him look ever-so-sexy at that moment.
“Paul! Tell me I didn’t!” I could feel my cheeks reddening at the thought of all the unattractive noises I must have made. I was deeply embarrassed that he’d had to witness it all firsthand. “Oh, my God! I can’t believe this!”
I was beyond mortified that I had fallen asleep in his lap in a public place.
Paul threw his head back and laughed so loudly that it echoed around the room.
My head in my hands, I gazed up at him, upset that he was enjoying my discomfort so much.
“Thanks a lot! I can’t believe you’re laughing at me right now!”
Livid, I tossed the pillow that was behind me at his head, hitting my target square on.
“Oomph, hey!”
Paul tried to reign in his outburst as the pillow smacked him in the face. Making a lunge for me, I squeaked in protest when he crashed down on top of me. Both of us burst out laughing.
“I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” he finally said in surrender.
“Oh, thank God! I was appalled that I could have done something like that to you. How could you do that to me?”
“You were just too easy to tease. I couldn’t resist.”
“Thanks a lot.”
I shoved at him to get off me, and he returned to his spot on the side of the bed, just a short distance away.
“So, what really happened?”
Taking my coffee into my hands to sip again, I looked at him with hooded eyes.
“You did fall asleep at the bar. Seemed you really weren’t kidding about needing some peace after all, huh? After about an hour, when I realized you were out like a light, Bethany came by smiling, saying how tired you’d been, and that you hadn’t been sleeping much since you moved.”
“Wow, I guess I didn’t realize how much peace I really feel in your arms.”
Lighting up as though my comment was the greatest Christmas present he’d ever got in his life, Paul’s smile seemed to reach from ear to ear.
“That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
“Really? Then you really need to talk with better people. Well, it’s true. Even after everything that’s happened, the serenity I feel when I’m with you can’t be matched with anything—or anyone—else.”
“I’m glad Clarbear.”
It hadn’t take long for us to become friends, and it had taken even less time for us to create cutesy nicknames for each other.
“Clarbear, huh?” I asked, unsure.
“It fits you.”
Giving him a moment to squirm, I sat with the best straight face I could muster and waited for him to become uncomfortable.
“I don’t have to call you that if you don’t like it. It’s just how I think of you, Clarbear.”
I couldn’t take it anymore, so I started to giggle.
“It’s okay, I like it.”
“Oh, thank God.” He breathed a sigh of relief. “I was worried I wouldn’t be able to keep a promise of not calling you that again.”
Feeling more at ease, he took another sip of his coffee to give me some time to adjust to waking up.
“Brian thought we should wake you, but Bethany and I felt that you needed to sleep.”
“Thank you. That was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in a long time. What time is it?”
“Well, it’s ten o’clock…”
“Great! I haven’t slept this late in years.”
“…on a Sunday.”
My mouth dropped open at his words.
Then he reached for his cell phone and showed me the number of missed calls and texts he’d received from Bethany.
“What?!”
I could feel the disbelief spread across my face.
“You mean I slept for over 24 hours?”
“Yeah, seems you were really tired.”
“Holy crap! I lost Saturday.”
Wait, where had he slept? Before I could find out, he seemed to read my thoughts.
“Before you get any ideas, I just held you all night while I slept on top of the covers. Fully dressed.”
Phew.
“You slept better when I was holding you, otherwise you tossed and turned most of the night. So, whenever I didn’t have to do something like get some work done, I’d come in here and hold you while you slept.”
“You did all that for me?”
He just nodded, not seeing it as a hardship to hold a beautiful woman in his arms.
“I was starting to worry this morning that you’d sleep all day again, but then your eyes started to flutter awake, and I knew it wouldn’t be long ‘til you woke up, so I made the coffee for you.”
Babbling, it seemed he felt he had to do to clarify his actions.
Once I reached him, I put my index finger and thumb to close his mouth. When he stopped struggling against my hold, I kissed him with all the passion I had stored up within me. Clearly this was the beginning of something. I drew him closer with my hand on the nape of his neck, making him meet my lips with a hard assault.
Pleased with my amorous response, his body took over for several moments before he pulled away.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I said breathlessly as he pulled me back.
That was all it took before the limited amount of control he had mustered fell away into a passionate desperation that left us panting with desire. The next thing we knew, our clothes were flying across the room.
***
Glowing after a day of debauchery, I made my way to class as I always did with my first stop the coffee shop. Only this time when I arrived, Roger was already there with my coffee and treat at our usual table. As soon as I saw him, I tensed up, worried he’d know something was up.
“Hi, baby.”
I decided to not be rude and just accept his offerings.
He stood to kiss me, pulling out a chair for me to sit in as he took my bag, placing it on the floor, but I backed away from the kiss.
“Thank you, but you know we’re not like that anymore, remember?”
Ignoring me, he just sat down in his seat.
Ignoring his slip, she thought it best to be friendly.
“You’re up early. Everything okay?”
“Oh, yeah, all’s good. I just wanted to get a head start on the program I’m working on. I’ve been inspired recently, and the code is just pouring out of me.”
Watching his fingers work their magic, I was once again mesmerized by the way he effortlessly added line after line of code.
“What’s on the agenda today?”
Stopping to give me his full attention, Roger put the lid down on the laptop.
“Well, class of course, then afterward I’m walking the puppies.”
The Hendersons had recently bought puppies when they’d met me at a student work club. I would be walking their dogs on a regular basis while the He
ndersons worked or went on vacation.
“Great! That’ll give me a chance to walk Bentley.”
Bentley was Roger’s black Shepherd.
“Oh.”
Who said I was asking you to come with? I thought to myself as he took another sip of his coffee.
Unable to help her teasing response to his presumption, I smirked as I watched Roger get nervous before my eyes, fidgeting in his seat, trying to work up the nerve to respond.
“I guess that would be okay.”
“Seriously, those dogs love to play together. It’ll give them the exercise they need and it will give us time to chat.”
“It would definitely make my job easier if the dogs all played together, since it would tire out the puppies.”
My hand stretched out to meet his comforting.
Shaking his head, he seemed to say, You’ll pay for that later.
Smirking, Roger sat back in his chair.
I could feel my face fall, clouding over with uncertainty.
“Too soon, huh? Yeah, still too soon.”
“Sorry, honey. I’ll behave…”
Mostly.
“You’re the devil.”
I laughed as I took a bite of my treat.
“I gotta get to class. Be good.”
Kissing him on the cheek, I collected my things.
“Bye baby, be safe,” he whispered as I left.
Returning to his computer, Roger began typing away, fingers flying across the keyboard as he starred at the screen, seemingly pleased with the results so far.
I looked back before the door closed and saw him look up to meet my eyes.
A soft smile spread across his face as he mouthed the words she had always loved to hear: ‘I love you.’
***
The park was filled with people walking their dogs with the sun shining brightly from above. It was these days that the world around me seemed to fade, and I felt safe in my own little bubble. The dogs enjoyed the freedom of running after the Frisbee, back and forth and back and forth, again and again. They had an energy I wished I could bottle for myself as we watched all three of them bark and play.
Heart Broken Page 9
