Heart Broken

by Sarah Alabaster

  ***

  “Yes, I want my life back. I can’t let this person beat me into being someone I no longer recognize. I just want to be me again.”

  “Good for you, but I would like to point out that you are you right now—and not dead! For crying out loud, Clara, some maniac broke into your place and trashed it, taking God only knows how long! And don’t think I didn’t notice the butcher knife sticking in the cabinet door! No. Hell no. I’m staying with you for a little while, at least until the security system is installed on your place. Don’t argue with me on this. I mean it.”

  “Roger, please. I just want to go home and forget this ever happened.”

  “That’s not an option, Clara, and you freaking know it. What’s wrong with you? Why are you being like this?”

  Pulling the car into the street, Roger took my hand, bringing my knuckles to his lips for a soft kiss.

  “I’m sorry, I’m just all over the place at the moment. I don’t know what’s wrong with me!”

  “I get it, I do. But seriously, there is no way I could leave you at that apartment on your own right now. I’d never get any rest knowing you were there without someone with you.”

  He looked over at me then, a questioning look in his eyes.

  “Where’s Paul, by the way? Doesn’t he want to be the one doing all these things for you?”

  Ashamed and a bit embarrassed, I looked down at my lap, not sure how to say the words.

  “We… We broke up.”

  “What the fuck, Clara?” Roger snapped, making my head turn in his direction.

  “When?”

  It wasn’t really a question. I was sure he knew that something was different between me and Paul over the past few weeks, but he probably just hadn’t wanted to bring up the other man, no matter how much he’d wanted to know what was going on.

  Thinking about Roger’s situation suddenly put me on alert. Oh no, why hadn’t I thought of him before now? He had classes tomorrow, as well as the program to finish, not to mention the university’s program that I knew he was still doing, even though we no longer talked about it. I wondered how the program was coming along.

  Maybe I should talk to him about it to get his mind off of the things that were going on. Maybe we should stay at his place instead of mine. It would be safer…

  As I was internally thinking through various scenarios, Roger absentmindedly drove to my old apartment instead of my new one. It seemed like I wasn’t the only one with an internal monologue playing in their head.

  “Roger, this is my old place.”

  “Fuck! I’m sorry, I just drove without really thinking.”

  Then, just as we were pulling back into the street…

  KABAM!

  A fireball suddenly shot out of the window of an apartment on the fourth floor.

  Looking in the direction of the flames, I realized that it was my old floor. Upon closer inspection, I saw that it was my old apartment, as well.

  Holy shit!

  Roger slammed on the gas as we shot into the street. He must have realized it was my old place, too, because now he was flooring it back to the police station.

  “Roger, where are we going?”

  The silence was deafening, but he was just staring straight ahead and shaking as he grasped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were practically white.

  “Shit, Roger, slow down!”

  “No! That could have been you! I’m done taking chances. As of this moment, we’re back together. I don’t give a shit what you’re doing or not doing with Paul. I want you back now before something else happens.”

  I just watched him as he made demands I wasn’t sure I would be able to fulfill.

  “Roger, I don’t know if that’s a good idea…”

  He interrupted my thoughts and cut me off as we continued to speed down the road.

  “It’s simple, really. Do you still love me?”

  “Yes,” I admitted, letting my breath out. I cared about Paul, but I still missed and loved Roger.

  “Do you want to be with me or not?”

  “Yes,” I said again, against my better judgement as we pulled into the police station parking lot.

  “Then it’s simple, baby. We’re together again. I can’t take this shit anymore. I watched you with preppy, and I knew you guys wouldn’t last. I just waited, biding my time until you figured it out for yourself.”

  He pulled me from the car and into his arms before we made our way inside.

  “I don’t give a fuck how long it’s been since you were with him, I need you. I love you.”

  “It’s been a while,” I admitted, the words confirming his suspicions.

  “Good.” His eyes narrowed as he took me in for an all-consuming kiss that left me breathless.

  Holy shit! When had he started kissing like this?

  “We’re getting them to help you right now!”

  We stomp our way toward the commander’s desk, looking for Detective Michaels.

  Coming around the desk as several police officers made their way toward us Roger raised his hands in surrender, but not until he had pushed me behind him.

  “This woman needs protection! She needs protection right now! I think someone just tried to kill her.”

  Several officers surrounded us at once, guiding us to the back door of the building and into a protected area heavily secured with steel doors, as well as thick concrete walls.

  Detective Michaels made his way into the room after hearing all the commotion outside.

  I noticed his hand was on his pistol.

  “What’s going on? Clara? Roger? What are you guys doing here?”

  “I think someone just tried to kill Clara! I brought her back here, thinking it was the safest place to be.”

  “Take a seat, both of you. Officer Adams, get them some water. Start from the beginning, after you left here. What happened to make you think someone tried to kill her?”

  “Clara and I were arguing over her being alone tonight—or any night in the near future—when I mistakenly brought her back to her old apartment.”

  “Okay.”

  Nodding as he wrote things down in his booklet, Detective Michaels watched me nod to confirm the accuracy of Roger’s statement.

  “As soon as we got to the building, Clara reminded me that she no longer lived there. Then, just as we were making our way back to the street, we heard a loud boom and saw fire shoot out of an apartment window. As soon as I realized it was her old place, I rushed back here.”

  Visibly shaking, Roger took a sip of the offered water from the officer.

  “I hope you didn’t break any laws in your pursuit to get here, but I’m glad you two are safe now.”

  “Ticket me, I don’t care. I just want to keep her safe.”

  Then he took out his license, only to have Detective Michaels shoo it away.

  Tears were running down my cheeks, and I felt their eyes on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak just yet.

  “It’s shock,” one of the officers said as Roger watched me closely.

  I was completely overwhelmed, to say the least.

  Maybe it was a coincidence that we arrived just as the apartment blew up? My old apartment! Thank God I didn’t live there anymore. Oh, my God, what if someone living there now was killed? What if someone had moved in already? Holy crap, was that really supposed to be for me?

  “Clara. Clara. Clara!”

  Roger began to shake me for a response as Detective Michaels called for a paramedic to come check my condition.

  My eyes had glazed over and my body felt as though it was on a cloud. As he continued to shake me, my blank expression seemed to scare the hell out of him.

  “Jesus, Clara!” Roger exclaimed when he saw me turn white as a sheet.

  “Sir, calm down. Let us take a look at her.” A paramedic tried to push Roger away, but he wasn’t going too far, no matter what anyone tried to tell him. “Please give us some room to help her.”

 
I could tell Roger didn’t want to part with me at all, but seeing I was in distress, he gave them the space they needed to help me.

  “Ma’am. Can you hear us?”

  I just rocked back and forth, staring into space with a vague expression.

  Shock. Clearly I was in shock.

  “Sir, we may need to take her to the hospital.”

  “No! She’s not going anywhere. Detective Michaels!” Roger yelled.

  When he came back into the room, Roger mentioned the possibility of me having to leave the station and go to the hospital.

  “Sorry, gentlemen, but unless it’s life-threatening, she’s not going anywhere until we figure out what’s going on. Can you give her something so she’ll be okay here?”

  “Can we ask why that is? She needs medical assistance, and we can’t just leave her like this.”

  “Gentlemen, you need to check her to make sure she’s okay so we can protect her. Someone may have tried to kill her tonight, and she’s clearly in shock. I just want to make sure she doesn’t have any injuries.”

  Then he motioned for Roger to return to my side, and he took me into his arms as the paramedics continued to assess my condition.

  “Can you give her something to calm her down, so she isn’t like this for too long?”

  “Of course. We can give her something to sedate her, but you’ll just need to sign this paperwork denying the hospital visit, even though we recommended it.”

  “Fine, that’s no problem.”

  Detective Michaels took the paperwork, signing where he needed to as the paramedics gave me a shot to calm me down.

  Roger, who had been sitting with me the entire time, was flipping out as well. I thought he might need his own shot.

  “Roger, I need one of you to not be medicated. Can you do that for me?”

  The detective obviously wasn’t ready to deal with both of us being half-comatose.

  Taking a gulp of water, Roger looked back at the detective.

  “You’re right. I’ll be better once I know she’s better.”

  “Give it a few minutes for the medication to kick in, and then she should be feeling much better. She’ll also be tired soon, just so you know.”

  The paramedics packed up their equipment and headed out the door.

  “Good. Now let’s find her somewhere more comfortable. I have an office down the hall you both could use for the time being. Can you pick her up?”

  Detective Michaels left his seat to hold the door open for us.

  “Sure, no problem.” Moving to pick me up, Roger whispered in my ear. “Come on, baby, I’ve got you.”

  Lifting my semi-lifeless body into his arms, his heart broke taking in her condition. Just a short time ago she had been so vibrant and lively, wanting to battle anyone that got in her way. Now here she lay in his arms, sedated from the overwhelming shock of the night.

  Roger picked me up as if I weighed no more than a feather and gently placed me on the couch in the room Detective Michaels had provided for us to use during our time in protective custody at the precinct.

  I was asleep most of the night. The injection the paramedics had given me obviously worked to relax me. I found out later, though, that Roger was a complete wreck. Whatever had possessed him to drive to my old apartment now seemed suspicious with the timing of the explosion occurring so soon after we arrived.

  He was curious to know if we had been followed all the way from the police station to only have the place blow at the moment of our arrival. It also seemed odd given the fact that I no longer lived there. To have that be the place to blow up after my new place was trashed was highly suspicious. The pieces just didn’t fit.

  Why not blow the new apartment up instead of the old one? Were the two incidents related, or just a coincidence? When I woke up much later, Roger confessed that he had felt the detectives watching his every move.

  A little while later, Bethany was escorted into the room, followed by two officers.

  “Roger, do you know what’s going on?” she asked, unaware of that I was lying on the couch until she turned around. “Christ, what happened to her?”

  Escorting her into the room but not following her in, the officers closed the door behind them as they exited, not hanging around long enough to explain anything. That meant Roger had to inform her of the latest developments.

  “Where’s Paul?” she asked, noticing he was nowhere in sight.

  “He… They…”

  “What? Is he hurt?”

  “No! He’s fine, he’s just gone.”

  “What do you mean? He wouldn’t just leave her at a time like this!”

  “Well, he did! He did leave her at a time like this. She said he had had enough of all of this, and he just couldn’t take it anymore. I’m with her now, again. And he’s gone.”

  Bethany quickly recovered and finally just narrowed her eyes at Roger.

  “How do we know all of this isn’t you?”

  She could tell that he hadn’t seen that one coming.

  “Because it’s not me. Why would I be here if it was me?”

  “To draw suspicion away from it being you.”

  “Well, it’s not me. I suggest we work together to figure out who the hell is doing this before someone gets hurt—or worse.”

  “Worse! What’s worse than me getting dragged out of my apartment in the middle of the night? Worse than some crazed psycho trying to hurt or kill my best friend? Worse than… Well, worse than you two getting back together?”

  “Hey!”

  “Hey, what? You two weren’t the best fit for one another the first time around. Case in point, the anger issues you have.”

  “I’m getting help for that.”

  “You are?” Shocked, she looked at him intently.

  “Clara didn’t tell you?”

  “No. It seems we haven’t been keeping each other up to speed that much these days, since I missed that little tidbit of information.”

  “Well, I am, and she knows this already.”

  “Why didn’t she tell me?”

  “Probably because I asked her not to, or maybe because she was already with Paul at that point and didn’t think we’d get back together. I don’t know. All I know is I never stopped loving her, and I won’t stop loving her. I love her, Bethany. Paul was never going to last, and if he wasn’t your friend, you would have realized that earlier.”

  He just watched Clara as he spoke with Bethany, no longer worried about what she thought of him, only concerned with keeping Clara safe—in his arms, where she belonged.

  “So, there was an explosion? Detective Michaels told me that much before he had his guys escort me back here.”

  Feeling as though they had come to some sort an agreement, she decided to get back to the matter at hand.

  “You okay? What’s going on?”

  “We’re okay, but Clara’s old apartment isn’t. After we left the station, I went to take Clara home, but we were arguing about her desire to be alone tonight—“

  “That’s insane! She shouldn’t be alone yet, not until we figure out what’s going on!”

  “I know, that’s what I said! Anyway, we were on our way to the apartment when we realized I had gone to the old place instead. I was just so caught up in our conversation and my concerns—the absurdity of her trying to be alone when someone is clearly after her, well, it was mind-boggling to say the least. When I stopped, Clara realized we were at the wrong apartment complex. I had brought us to the old place instead of the new place.”

  He shook his head, still not understanding how it could have happened.

  “Well that’s understandable. We just moved into the new place, after all.”

  As though that explained everything, he shot his head up to look at her.

  “Right! That’s what I said—well, not in so many words. We were pulling out of the lot when the apartment just blew up. We both freaked out when we realized the flames were coming from Clara’s old apartment.”
<
br />   “Oh, my God! Do you think anyone was hurt?”

  “I have no idea. Once the place blew, I floored it like a bat out of hell back to the precinct, demanding protection for Clara.”

  He left out the part where he insisted everyone involved was also in danger, but that didn’t really need to be said at this point.

  “Okay, that explains why you’re here, but what happened to her?”

  She was pointing at the now-sound-asleep body on the sofa.

  “I think she’s just completely overwhelmed, because when we were talking with the detective she shut down.” His eyes widened, recalling her reaction. “She was just rocking back and forth, unable to speak. Then the detective called the paramedics over to check her, and they ended up giving her a sedative to calm her down.”

  “Jesus, do you think it’s the same guy? If so, why break into the new place, toss it about, and then blow up the old place? It just doesn’t make sense.”

  “Who knows? But I’m sure this person has a plan, and I’m more worried how we factor into this plan.”

  When would all this end? When someone was hurt or killed? What would it take to make this person stop?

  “Me, too. It’s all I can think about.”

  “How long will she be out like that?”

  “The paramedic said about eight hours, give or take. She needs it, though, so I’m hoping it’s the full eight at least.”

  “Do they have anything left over for me?”

  “Why? You need some, too?”

  He laughed, but then began to look her over, as well. Did she need a sedative? She seemed to be doing fine, but who knew anymore.

  “I sure could use something to take the edge off.”

  “I know what you mean.”

  “How’s about some tea instead?”

  “Seriously? How manly of you. Thank you.”

  Shaking his head and chuckling for the first time in what seemed like forever, Roger tossed a sugar packet at her for good measure.

  “Hey! Be nice to me, I’m traumatized, remember?” Bethany replied, smirking back at him.

  Chapter Ten

  Waking with a start as the room slowly came into focus, my eyes misted over in a haze as I gazed upon my surroundings. Seeing Bethany on the opposite side of the room on a cot was a bit surprising, but when I was unable to move my legs, I began to panic until I looked down the opposite end of the couch and saw Roger.