When Nothing Is All You've Got

by Kirsty Dallas

  “I don’t think they would have left your weapons,” I murmured.

  Nada snorted as she kicked aside the debris and limped across the room. At the corner of the stone wall, she spent a moment digging at the crumbling concrete before carefully sliding a large piece of stone out of the wall.

  “Sneaky,” I said with renewed respect.

  Righting the upturned basin, I poured what little water was left in the jug into it and dipped the shirt into the water before turning to face Nada. “Come here.”

  “We don’t have time for a bath.”

  “We can’t afford infection. Let me clean up the worst, then we’ll get goin’.”

  Nada slid her knife into her thigh holster before reluctantly standing in front of me. With careful but sure hands, I wiped away the blood that had since slowed to a trickle from the gaping cut above her eye. “This needs stitches.”

  “Later.”

  “Anythin’ broken?”

  “A rib. I could have a fracture in my cheek. You?”

  “Couple of ribs, but mostly sliced and diced.”

  “Who did it?”

  Her gaze darted across my chest, and the anger that caused that gaze to narrow forced a smile to my lips. She was pissed off on my behalf, and I fucking liked it.

  Tearing an item of her clothing, I used it as a makeshift bandage and wrapped her torn, shredded fingers. Turning, I thoroughly washed the rag before taking care of the crusted blood on my face, arms, and chest. I needed stitches, too, but as Nada had said, it would have to wait for later; we needed to get moving, and fast.

  “Locky, mostly. Kingsley watched like the dirty fucker he is. They found the map I made in my boot. It was only a map to my family’s cabin, they still don’t know how to get out of the Underworld, so we’ve got nothing to worry about.”

  “A map to your cabin?”

  “Yeah, do you have somethin’ to write with here?”

  Searching through the mess, she finally found a pen under the broken bedside table, and I quickly scribbled down the same map I had drawn in my room the night before.

  “What’s this?” she asked, clearly confused when I handed it to her.

  “It’s a map, of outside. You can’t go into the city; it’s too dangerous. The soldiers there would catch you in a heartbeat, and the coast line would be just as bad. That’s a map to my family’s cabin, just in case somethin’ happens to me.”

  “What’s going to happen to you?” she asked, worry suddenly bracketing her beautiful dark eyes.

  “With a bit of luck, nothin’, baby. But just in case, all you have to do is follow the sun as it sets. It’s spring, you’ll have no trouble findin’ the mountains, but that map will help you find my cabin. My family boarded it up after my brother died. What it represented to them after that was too painful, so they stopped visitin’. It’ll be safe there.”

  Tearing my gaze away from her terrified one, I glanced at my bare, bloody feet, then at Locky’s prone body just outside the doorway. Grabbing his legs, I pulled him into the room and began to untie the laces on his shitkickers. Sitting on the upturned pallet, I pulled them on and grimaced in pain. They were a size too small, and with the abuse my feet had suffered, it was going to be a whole lot more than just uncomfortable, but I couldn’t go barefoot.

  Nada rummaged through her belongings before standing with a familiar torn, tattered book in her hands. She flicked through the pages and let out an audible sigh when she found the dead, pressed rose.

  “The map out of the facility shows we’ll be wading through tunnels of water, baby. You can’t take the book; it’ll get wrecked.”

  Tossing it aside, she cast me an irritated frown before finding a small plastic bag. Emptying its contents, she put the rose inside and sealed it, before unzipping her leather vest and stuffing the bag inside. Just the tantalizing glimpse of the swell of her breasts had my cock twitching. It didn’t seem to care how sore my body was, or how tired my limbs were; it was ready to rock and roll.

  Standing carefully on my throbbing feet, I watched as Nada rummaged through more of her belongings. For someone who didn’t have much, she sure as shit had a sprawling mess, from one end of her room to the other.

  “We gotta go.” I limped towards the door but stopped when her small hand grabbed my elbow. Glancing down, I was taken aback by the beaming smile on her face. It was so rare and utterly perfect, even with the bruises that were already beginning to bleed into her pale skin. She lifted her hand and held out her palm. In the center, lay two small, white pills.

  “Happy pills. Dejohn saved them for the really bad ass whoopings.”

  I slowly shook my head. Losing my concentration behind the foggy mask of pain killers was not in the plan. I would rather feel my pain; it was a reminder I was alive, and it would keep me focused.

  “I don’t like to feel out of control; we need to keep our heads.”

  “We will,” she insisted. “Dejohn wouldn’t give me something that left me unable to protect myself. They are a pain blocker. You’ll feel a little numb, but our senses will remain sharp.”

  I had heard of things like pain blockers in the city above, but never in the Underworld. I was still uncomfortable taking something that might play havoc with my control and senses, yet I trusted Nada’s words, and trusted in the fact that there was no way Dejohn would ever leave her vulnerable. Tossing one into my mouth, I swallowed it down. Nada was still smiling, and it again took me a moment to gather my thoughts, her disarming happiness scrambling my brain.

  “Got everythin’?”

  Patting the knife strapped to her thigh and the rose tucked against her chest, she nodded. When I turned to leave, her hand stopped me once more. Smile gone, she looked somewhat nervous as she gently placed her hand over my beating heart.

  “I’ve got everything I need,” she whispered.

  Never before had anyone looked at me with such honest longing, nor had they expressed the words that I was something, maybe even everything, to them. While my parents had been good, loving people, they weren’t exactly wordy. Their love and care was shown through actions, not words. Not even Alanis, in our young, carefree moments, had confessed her love, or her need, for me. Looking back now, I wasn’t even sure what we had was love. It was spontaneous, crazy, and filled with passion, but it lacked the intensity I found with Nada. Perhaps it was the situation, the death-may-come-at-any-moment life we lived that made this feel real and deep.

  Unable to hold myself back, I leaned down and kissed her, hard, reveling in the feel of her warm lips. She was alive, we were alive, and we were headed toward freedom. Pulling back, I adjusted my cock, which had jumped to life in a mere heartbeat, and pulled her out of the dark, musty room, leaving it and all its memories behind us.

  29

  NADA

  The Underworld felt foreign as I followed Shadow down corridors I had navigated my entire life. Places that would normally be filled with life were empty. It didn’t matter if it was day or night, there were always people to be found, trading, getting high, getting laid, living and losing themselves to the harsh world buried beneath the righteous and mighty. Now, the place felt empty. Only occasional inmates ran past us, panic and unease evident on their worried faces. Even those lost to NIM seemed to understand what was going on as they stumbled across our path. The Underworld had been infiltrated, a feat never thought possible. The only way in was to commit a crime. Even the good, mighty soldiers of the above world didn’t dare go beyond the drop-off zone; nobody wanted to willingly visit hell. And the only way out was in a cloud of ash and smoke via the incinerators, or so everyone thought. Dejohn had gifted me another way, my hope, my salvation.

  Our pace had picked up since the pain blockers had begun working, and I followed Shadow at a light jog before coming to an abrupt stop beside an equally still Shadow. It was the wide entrance to the innocent sector, always guarded, always occupied, and right now, it was empty, completely devoid of life and sound.

  “Do
you think they got them all out?” I whispered, tempted to take a look for myself.

  “They wouldn’t leave an innocent.” Shadow replied gruffly.

  “They’ll be on their way to freedom,” I murmured in awe.

  “Just like us.”

  Freedom. I had never dared to allow myself to indulge in fantasies of free choice and liberty. Even though I’d had the map to freedom in my possession for years, I had never once considered using it . . . not until the innocent were free. Now that I could entertain the thought, my mind ran through the implications. I’d read many books about the world outside, and to me, freedom equated sunshine and grass, fresh air and flowing streams, dark nights lit up by skies of blinking stars. Where would I sleep? What would I eat? Would I have a place to call home? Freedom meant the unknown, and suddenly, that scared me to death.

  I stole a glance at Shadow who stood tall and fierce by my side. He was a mess: dark bruises bled into his pale skin, one swollen eye had begun to close, and dried blood clung to his short beard. He’d put on a shirt back at my room which thankfully covered the sliced flesh. I caught a glimpse of his feet, before he’d squeezed them into Locky’s boots, and noticed every nail had been pried from his toes and both soles had been whipped. As the pain blocker worked its magic, his movements became more fluid and natural, like a predator on a hunt. Having him by my side was calming. The thought of freedom wasn’t quite so scary with Shadow to share it with, and he had lived in the above world so he would know what to do. The rebels would be pissed that their plans to strategically move Shadow into a role of leadership were down the drain, and that two reds had escaped, but I didn’t care. The more I learned about the Underworld and its inmates, the more I understood Dejohn’s stories of the black and white world above, and the grey world they ignored. The world above seemed almost as unfair as the world below. Many of the Underground inmates were evil, but just as many were victims.

  The sound of heavy boots pounding against the stone floor quickly roused me from my meandering thoughts, and Shadow unceremoniously pulled me by my elbow, dragging me away from the empty innocent sector and down another twisting corridor which opened into a large dining hall. The sconces here were lit, casting shadows and light across the empty space. Uneaten plates and cups sat at the long wooden tables, and my stomach growled, reminding me it had been at least twenty-four hours since my last meal. Ignoring my stomach, I jumped over a bench seat as we made our way towards the door at the opposite side of the room. As I landed, my foot snagged on something soft, and I fell hard, my ribs screaming at the brutal assault on their tender region.

  “Are you alright?” Shadow asked, racing to my side and kneeling by my prone body. I waved his concern off and sat up. “Damn, it’s Dotty.”

  Once the tears in my eyes cleared and my ribs stopped burning, I looked at the body I had tripped over. Sure enough, Dotty, the madam from the Whore Pit, lay unmoving on the cold floor.

  “Is she dead?” Shadow reached out to check for a pulse and nodded. “I don’t see blood,” I wondered out loud, noticing how completely intact her body seemed to be. She looked as if she were merely sleeping.

  “She’d been sick. Maybe she just died . . . you know . . . naturally.”

  “She was in for murder; she killed her baby,” I murmured. “She was also a bitch to the innocents, she deserved death, but she looked after the girls in the Whore Pit. I hope whoever looks after them next will do as good a job as her.” I slowly stood, wondering about the fate of the women who would be left behind.

  “They’ll be fine,” Shadow gruffly assured me, though something in his tone made me think he was just saying it to placate me. Shadow moved closer to the body and began prying the many rings off Dotty’s thin, bony fingers.

  “What are you doing?” I hissed, outraged that he would stop to rob someone of worthless jewels and baubles.

  “In the world above, we will need money. We can pawn these jewels for cash to get ourselves supplies.”

  “Pawn them?” I couldn’t recall ever hearing the word before as I tried to wrap my head around the idea that we would need money to survive.

  “There are places you can take your valuables to be exchanged for money. It’s rarely fair, or anywhere near what the items are worth, but at least we will be able to get somethin’.” He stood and handed me a fistful of rings.

  “What should I do with them?”

  Shadow’s gaze dropped to my chest, and he grinned when his eyes moved back to my face.

  “Put them away with your other valuable assets.”

  My hand immediately went to the zipper at the neck of my leather vest. I pulled it down and shoved the jewels into my bra.

  “Were you talking about the flower, or my breasts?” I wondered.

  Shadow chuckled, and it sounded like sex personified. It was a deep laugh that was all man, and it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. When he stood again, it was to hand me a fistful of necklaces.

  “Sweetheart, I was not talkin’ about the flower.” I felt the heat in my cheeks rise as he gave me a wink before stepping over Dotty and leading us away from the dining room.

  The corridors took us deeper into the Underworld, and as we entered the large hydroponics garden, I took a deep breath of the green leaves and vegetation that grew here. I didn’t come here very often, there was an unspoken rule that the room was off-limits, but since it wasn’t far from my lonely gym, I took a few opportunities to sneak inside and stare in wonder at the beautiful, leafy plants. Vegetables and herbs grew in every direction, and I wondered if the smell was a teasing mix of what I hoped would soon be my new home.

  My jog had reduced to a brisk walk as I followed Shadow through the room, and I was so lost in wonder to the plants around me I didn’t notice the man standing at the doorway between us and our exit. When I did, my feet stilled and my blood ran cold as ice. Shadow was a few paces ahead of me, his shoulders pressed back and his head held high.

  “I don’t feel like I can punish you for losing your senses over pussy,” Kingsley murmured as he pointed a gun at Shadow. “That would make me a hypocrite; after all, I lost my own senses to the girl’s mother long enough to plant a seed in her.”

  He was alone, and as he fell silent, the humming of the generator that kept this room lit was the only sound to be heard. Kingsley glanced past Shadow to me.

  “Good fight,” he said with a grin. “I really didn’t think you would win. I even bet against you for the first time ever . . . my bad. I should have known you had the balls to take him out.” He looked between Shadow and me, his smile turning into something dark and evil. “Such a shame. I could have won big with that fight, and it would have saved me from having to do this.”

  Kingsley redirected the gun from Shadow to me, and my world narrowed. We’d been here before, my father pointing a gun at me. From the gleam in his eye, and the determination on his face, this time he wasn’t going to fuck it up.

  30

  SHADOW

  I didn’t think. I simply moved; my natural instinct was to protect Nada. The sound of the gun was a loud explosion in the quiet hydroponics room. My body lunged in front of her, roughly forcing her to the ground. My side burned anew, but I wasn’t sure if it was an old wound that had reopened or a new one.

  Nada’s head hit the stone floor with a sickening thump, and somewhere in the distant recesses of my raging mind, behind the roar of my heart, I felt Nada go limp beneath me. Fury reigned. Anger now controlled my body. I pushed to my feet, turning my back on her prone body, and ran at Kingsley. He got another shot off, which slammed into my shoulder, burning like a bitch, but in my current state of wrath, it was easy to ignore.

  I ducked down low and allowed my uninjured shoulder to dig into his gut and lift him from the floor. I tackled him, and we both landed with a thud before I scrambled off his body and climbed to my feet. Spotting the gun still held in his tight grip, I lifted my leg and stomped down as hard as I could on his hand. Kingsley let
out an almighty roar as his bones crunched beneath the sole of Locky’s shitkicker. With his other hand, he swung, catching my thigh, and what must have been a nerve, because my leg wavered before I caught my weight on my other leg. Staggering aside, I kicked the gun, which was now lying free on the ground, as Kingsley cradled his abused hand and climbed to his feet, wavering only slightly.

  “You ungrateful fucking pussy whipped bastard!”

  He spun and kicked, connecting with my side, which sent a bolt of pain through my entire body. Black dots swam before my vision, and I instinctively curled my fists and punched him, hitting the fucker in the jaw and sending him, once again, to the ground.

  Shaking my head to fight off unconsciousness, I lunged forward and tried to kick the man while he was down, aiming for his balls. I knew how to fight, and I wasn’t above fighting dirty. Missing the intended target, I connected with his thigh, and Kingsley let out a hiss as he rolled away and swept his leg, taking my unsteady feet right out from under me.

  I hit the ground heavy but didn’t stay still. If I wanted to take down this bastard, I needed to keep moving. Noticing him crawling towards the gun, I lurched upright and pulled on what little hair he had, yanking him back, stretching his neck taut. Kingsley reached down and grabbed my balls, squeezing hard. I thought I’d throw up as my hands automatically released him and went to the abused appendage between my thighs. When I opened my eyes again, it was to see Kingsley standing over me, the gun, once again in his hand, pointed at me.

  “She poisoned you. She’s like a fucking disease, and she got to you. I shouldn’t have let you have her,” he seethed.

  “You couldn’t have stopped me,” I grunted, lifting my foot and kicking Kingsley hard, just below the knee. I heard a sickening crack which was quickly followed by another loud explosion from the gun. Stone sprayed the side of my face, and my ears rang so loud I couldn’t hear anything but the insistent fucking roar. I didn’t know if the shot had hit me in the face, but the fact my heart was beating and my lungs were filling with air meant I was still alive, so I would keep fighting.