The Highlander's Woman (The Reckless Rockwoods #3)

by Monica Burns

  “I love you, Patience. I made a mistake. If I’d come straight home last week, I would no’ have had a reason to lie about Mayberry. I was wrong, mo ghràdh. Do no’ let Una’s lies come between us.”

  “I need time to think,” she whispered. “I’m going to Louisa’s for the next few days. I can’t stay here right now.”

  The lifeless look in her brown eyes tightened the vise wrapped around his chest until it was painful to breathe. He wanted to plead with her to stay, but Patience, like the rest of the Rockwood clan, could be stubborn. As much as Julian didn’t want to let her go, he knew it would only make matters worse if he insisted she stay. With a sharp nod, he released her hand, and stepped back from her.

  “If that’s what you wish. But know this, Patience, you’re my wife. I’ll go to hell and back to keep you. I love you. Nothing will change that. Nothing.” Something flashed in her eyes, and it gave him hope he would be able to win her trust again.

  “I’ll leave in the morning for Westbrook Farms.” A pained look crossed her face. “Please sleep in the spare bedroom tonight. I do not want you near me.”

  Her words made his head snap backward as if she’d hit him. What had he expected? Patience walked past him and headed toward the door. He turned to watch her, hoping against hope she’d look back at him. If she did, he would know he had a chance to win her back. Just as she walked through the door, she glanced over her shoulder. Hope flared in him. She did love him. He was certain of it. There was no doubt he would have a fight on his hands regaining her trust, but that one brief look meant he stood a chance.

  Chapter 4

  * * *

  Patience took a sip of the Madeira Louisa’s husband, Devin, had poured for her and sat opposite her sister in the drawing room of Westbrook Farms. Dinner had been a festive affair. Yet despite the jovial manner of the family gathering, all Patience could do was think about Julian. She missed him terribly, and the more she thought about him, the worse her heart ached.

  “Really, Patience. It’s been two days now. If you continue to look so down in the mouth the rest of the family will start meddling in your affairs. Particularly Constance who is grateful for your interference in her and Lucien’s happiness, and would gladly like to repay the favor.” Louisa nodded toward their sister and her future husband who were watching Sebastian and Devin’s intense chess game. The youngest of the Rockwood clan’s astute observation made her flinch.

  “I thought I was acting quite cheerful at the dinner table,” she said quietly.

  “At a dinner party anywhere else, I’d say you would have easily fooled all the guests. But you forget your family has far too many special talents for your unhappiness to go unnoticed,” Louisa said with a sympathetic look. “Even Sebastian, who doesn’t have the sight, noticed you’re despondent, and he asked where Julian was.”

  “Julian had business to attend to,” she lied. Louisa’s penetrating gaze made Patience feel as though she’d been placed under a microscope.

  “You know there isn’t a single member of the family who believes that ridiculous story in the paper, dearest,” Louisa said quietly as Patience drew in a swift breath of horror. Her family had said nothing about the article since she’d arrived at Westbrook Farms, which made her believe no one had read the article or made the connection. Now, as she met Louise’s gaze, a wave of humiliation swept over her.

  “No one said…”

  “Of course we wouldn’t, darling,” her sister scolded gently. “At least not until now when you look so miserable. It’s obvious you’re taking this gossip to heart, and you shouldn’t. If there’s one thing we all believe, it’s that Julian loves you. He would never betray you. There has to be a logical explanation for it. You just need to ask him.”

  “I did ask him.” Patience closed her eyes for a brief moment at the memory of their argument and his deception.

  “I see,” Louisa said in a cautious tone of voice. “I take it this whole matter has to do with a red-haired woman I keep seeing?”

  The remark made Patience flinch. With as much nonchalance as she could, she leaned forward and set her wine glass on the round coffee table in front of the settee.

  “I don’t have to ask how you came by that knowledge,” she murmured with resignation. Her sister offered her a small, knowing smile.

  “When it comes to those we love, the Rockwood gift is something to be cherished.”

  “As someone who has a wee bit of the an dara sealladh, I must agree with Louisa. It is troubling tae see ye so verra unhappy, dearest.”

  The soft lilting sound of Aunt Matilda’s brogue floated over Patience’s head as her maternal aunt circled the settee to sit next to her. The Scotswoman patted Patience’s knee. With a wince she glanced at first her aunt and then her sister.

  “Who else—or would it be better to ask who hasn’t seen something?”

  “Other than me and Aunt Matilda, no one else has mentioned anything. At least for the moment, they haven’t,” Louisa said with added emphasis on the last part of her statement.

  Patience groaned softly at the idea of her heartbreak becoming a family matter. If left unchecked, it would quickly get out of hand, and everyone would be offering advice as to how to fix her marriage. It was the last thing she wanted. Determined to stop her aunt and sister in midstride, Patience turned her head toward Caleb, who seemed attached to the liquor cart.

  He’d drank heavily at dinner, and had imbibed at least two full snifters of cognac since the family had retired to the salon. Her brother’s unrelenting sorrow had been evident to her all evening. She shook her head with concern.

  “I think the one we should all worry about is Caleb. It’s been a year since Georgina’s death. Every time I see him, he’s drinking.” The most handsome of her brothers, Caleb’s excessive drinking was beginning to take its toll on his health and appearance.

  “We’ve tried to convince him to stop, but it only enrages him when we mention it,” Louisa said with an unhappy frown. “And he wants nothing to do with the children.

  “Aye, the poor bairns did no’ lose just a mother, they lost their father too.” Aunt Matilda’s expression was one of sorrow as she shook her head in dismay.

  “Does he even visit the nursery?” Patience asked as her gaze shifted to Caleb who was pouring himself another drink. The youngest of her three brothers had been devastated by the loss of his wife in childbirth, and she hated to know that his children were suffering for it.

  “Seldom,” Louisa said. “I know they miss him terribly. Although I’m not Caleb, I make sure to give Alma and Braxton as much attention as I do Charlie and William. Greer is too young to understand, but it is Caleb who is missing out. They’re all growing so fast.”

  “Well, perhaps I can at least coax him away from the liquor cart for the rest of the evening,” Patience said as she rose to her feet.

  “Tread lightly, Patience,” her aunt warned as she touched Patience’s arm. “Ye brother is no’ always pleasant when he’s been in the drink.”

  “I’ll avoid any mention of our concern for him.” With a squeeze of her aunt’s hand, Patience crossed the room to her brother’s side.

  “Would you indulge me in a game of cards, Caleb?” she asked. With as cheerful a smile as possible, she tucked her arm in his. “You used to trounce me easily, but I think my skill has greatly increased since we were children.”

  “You know good and well I had to earn every one of those games,” her brother said with a small smile. From across the room, Sebastian’s wife, Helen, laughed.

  “Patience, if you’re able to convince Caleb to play cards, I insist on playing as well. It’s been too long since I’ve enjoyed a good round of Euchre.”

  “I’m in as well,” exclaimed Percy, the second oldest of the Rockwood clan. He pressed his fingers to his temple and closed his eyes as if thinking hard. Eyes opening, he grinned. “And I predict I shall win.”

  For the first time since leaving London, Patience laughed. Beside h
er, Caleb chuckled as well. He looked down at her, and the sorrow in his hazel eyes made her heart break. She had a small inkling of what he was feeling. Patience forced a smile to her lips.

  “Well, are you going to play or are you afraid I shall beat you,” she asked as she arched her eyebrows. Caleb’s eyes narrowed as he met her gaze then nodded.

  “You know bloody well I wouldn’t be a Rockwood if I let that challenge go unanswered,” he said with a quiet resolve and slight smile.

  At his agreement to participate, Helen clapped her hands and Louisa went in search of cards, while Caleb pulled away from Patience to pour himself another drink. She knew better than to protest his doing so. The fact that she’d convinced him to play cards was an achievement itself. To push for another change so quickly could easily undo the little she’d already accomplished.

  With cards in hand, Helen joined Caleb, Percy, and Patience at the card table. Sebastian and Devin were deeply involved in their game of chess and waved them away. Despite her protests, Louisa convinced Aunt Matilda to join her, Constance, and Lucien at another table. For the next hour, laughter filled the air as everyone merrily taunted one another when a hand or game was won.

  Despite his brooding demeanor, Caleb seemed to be enjoying the game. But to Patience’s dismay, he continued to drink more and more wine as the evening wore on. Patience had just taken a trick when Louisa’s butler appeared at her side.

  “There is a messenger for you, my lady,” Hughes bent over to discreetly whisper in her ear. “They say it’s urgent. I’ve shown them into his lordship’s study.”

  “Thank you,” she said with a nod as she took another trick. Had someone come to tell her Julian had been hurt? Her heart slammed into her chest before she tried to dismiss her fear. She wished she could feel nothing, but she did.

  “Are you all right, Patience?” Caleb laid his hand over hers as an odd frown darkened his handsome features.

  “I’m fine.” She smiled with a cheerfulness she didn’t feel. “It’s just a message for me.”

  “Isn’t it rather late for someone to be delivering messages?” Helen murmured. The worried expression on her sister-in-law’s face made Patience’s heart lurch, but she shook her head. “I’m sure it’s nothing. I’ll be back in a moment. Sebastian, Devin, will one of you take my place until I return?”

  Her eldest brother looked up from his chess game with a scowl as Devin announced checkmate with a jubilant cry of victory. With a grimace of self-disgust at his loss, Sebastian grunted his agreement to Patience. As he stood up, he warned Devin a rematch would be expected at a later date as he moved toward Patience’s seat at the table. Her brother bent to kiss his wife’s cheek then straightened to smile at her.

  “Are you and Helen winning?”

  “Yes,” she said with satisfaction as she arched her eyebrows at Caleb. Percy simply groaned with amused disgust that he and his brother were losing the match. Caleb shook his head.

  “Your winning streak is about to end, Patience. We both know Sebastian is not a very good player,” Caleb taunted, his slurred speech indicating he was well on his way to being completely drunk. Sebastian frowned at his youngest brother’s condition, but didn’t say a word, despite his obvious desire to chastise Caleb.

  “Then I’ll return as quickly as I can to prevent any real damage.” Patience went up on her toes to kiss Sebastian’s cheek. “Please do your best not to muck up what I’ve achieved, Sebastian.”

  “I shall rely on Helen to keep me in line,” he said with an arched look at Patience.

  “Something I do every day, my love,” Sebastian’s wife said with a teasing laugh.

  Satisfied her winning streak was fairly safe, Patience left the drawing room and hurried to the study. God help her if something had happened to Julian. His betrayal was devastating, but she still loved him no matter what he’d done to cause her pain. The study was softly lit by the blaze in the fireplace, while a small gas lamp spread its light over one of the reading tables. Patience looked around the empty room with a frown of puzzlement. She was certain Hughes had said the messenger was waiting for her in the study. Behind her the soft thud of the door closing made her whirl around in surprise. One hand pressed to her stomach, she froze at the sight of Julian. For a moment, she thought he was a hallucination. Patience blinked as if that would erase the image in front of her. When he didn’t disappear, she drew in a breath of relief. He was all right. Nothing had happened to him.

  “Why are you here?” The tremor in her voice angered her. She didn’t want him to know she’d been worried about his safety or how he could still make her heart flutter when they were in the same room together. She drank in the sight of him. He looked tired. Tired and dusty. Dressed in breeches and his riding jacket, it was apparent he’d ridden to Westbrook Farms rather than taking the train. The realization made her think he’d been eager to reach her—unwilling to wait on the train.

  “Your sister sent word for me to come.”

  “Louisa should not have done that,” she said hoarsely.

  “I would have come with or without her invitation.” The resolute note in his words made her heart skip a beat. God, how she wanted to run to him, but the fear of being hurt again held her back. He’d lied to her, and she couldn’t forget that.

  “I said I needed time to think, Julian,” she said warily.

  “Aye, that you did.” His lips were thinned in a grim line as he nodded. “I’ve had time to think as well, and I think we need to talk about why you’re willing to think the worst of me.”

  “Isn’t that obvious,” she snapped.

  “I do no’ dispute the fact that I deceived you Patience, but it was with good intentions. I also know the evidence against me is damning. But none of it is true, and I can prove it.”

  Startled by his observation, Patience stared at him for a moment before she shook her head.

  “I don’t know how you think you could possibly do that.” At her brittle reply Julian eyed her carefully.

  “Let us consider the gossip column first,” he said quietly as he clasped his hands behind his back. “Gossip requires a source, and I’ve learned that a woman with red hair supplied the newspaper with the lies they printed in the column.”

  “How do you know that?” she scoffed with a disbelieving frown.

  “Because I threatened to thrash the man who wrote the article until he told me where the story came from.” The fierce expression on his face made Patience certain Julian had terrified the newspaper reporter into believing he would make good on his threat.

  “Even if what you say is true, there’s still the brooch and Una’s visit,” she said scornfully.

  “Aye, the brooch,” he said softly. “The estate agent who showed us several houses, said he found the brooch and Una claimed it as hers,” Julian said tersely, his expression dark with a dangerous emotion that unsettled her. If she didn’t know better, she would think him capable of hurting the woman. “Naturally, she did no’ return it to me, but delivered it to you instead.”

  Patience stared at him in silence as she contemplated everything he’d told her so far. When she didn’t say anything Julian frowned.

  “Do you no’ have something to say?”

  “What would you have me say?” she asked with an aching heart. “You’ve explained two things, but you’ve failed to explain why you were house hunting with her or how Una knew about your birthmark, which is the most damming of all the evidence.”

  “Christ Jesus, Patience,” he snarled. “I can no’ explain how Una knows about my birthmark, but I have no’ been with her or any woman since we met. Whatever lies Una told you are nothing more than that—they’re lies.”

  “The an dara sealladh showed me a baby. The woman was holding a child, Julian,” she choked out in a hoarse voice. At the accusation, Julian stiffened, but did not look away from her.

  “Tis no’ my child, mo ghràdh,” he said firmly, but it was the endearment he used that made her flinch.
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br />   “Don’t call me that,” she exclaimed fiercely. “I am not your love. You don’t know the meaning of the word.”

  “And you do no’ know the meaning of trust,” he snarled viciously. Her heart skipped a beat. She’d never heard him speak so harshly to her before. A savage anger hardened Julian’s face, and she was certain dark angels could not have looked more fierce. As she met his furious gaze, bitterness welled up inside her.

  “You’re not asking for trust, Julian,” she said through clenched teeth. “You’re asking me to believe she’s the liar, not you.”

  “She is lying,” he ground out with restrained fury

  “But she’s not lying about the birthmark,” she said softly, and her words made Julian jerk.

  “No,” he said in a flat voice.

  “I asked you once before, but you didn’t answer me,” she rasped. “Put yourself in my place and answer me honestly, would you believe me if our positions were reversed?”

  “I hope I would choose to believe you,” he said in a voice devoid of emotion.

  “But you’re not certain that you would.”

  “No,” he bit out in a harsh voice and with obvious reluctance.

  “I need more time, Julian,” she whispered. “Whether your lies were well-intentioned or not, you still deceived me. You’re asking for blind faith, and that doesn’t come easily to me, any more than it would for you.”

  With a shake of her head, she started toward the door. The moment she tried to pass him, his hand snaked outward to wrap around her arm. With a swift tug, he pulled her into his arms. Instantly, her body was on fire, and the air left her lungs as a longing deep inside her wished this nightmare wasn’t happening. The scent of the outdoors flooded her senses as he pulled her tight. He always smelled good. Tonight he smelled of horse, leather, and the crisp night air. She trembled at the way his scent assaulted her senses.