The Highlander's Woman (The Reckless Rockwoods #3)

by Monica Burns

  “Well?”

  Her voice was quiet, but there was enough mockery and challenge in the one word that it made him wrap his hand around his fork in a grip almost tight enough to bend the metal. He didn’t answer. He simply picked up his knife and attacked the meat. The utensils scraped viciously against the china plate as he stabbed at the roast beef. He’d cut several pieces up before she sighed.

  “If you cut up the entire piece of meat it will make it more difficult for you to know how much is left to cut,” she said quietly.

  There was nothing in her voice that resembled pity. For a brief second, Julian allowed himself to hope she’d come to Crianlarich for a reason other than duty before crushing the notion. He didn’t respond to her comment, he simply stopped cutting the meat. Julian took a bite of the beef then gently probed the areas on the plate where she’d said his vegetables would be. The skirlie Mrs. Lester had prepared was to the left of the roast, and he took a bite of the mash potatoes mixed with onions and oats.

  As always, Mrs. Lester’s cooking was exceptional. She’d won numerous pie baking contests at the local fair, and he knew there were many who’d tried to lure her away from him. But he paid her well to ensure she didn’t leave him. He took a bite of the cauliflower, cheese, and whiskey casserole the woman had made.

  The three flavors mixed and mingled pleasantly on his tongue. Patience remained silent as he ate, and he remembered the meals they’d often enjoyed at home. There hadn’t been silence between them then. The air had been filled with her laughter.

  “I’m sorry about your father, Julian.” Her voice was soft with sincerity, and he bobbed his head in a sharp acknowledgement of her condolence.

  “The fact that you say so is more than he deserves,” Julian said with bitterness.

  Patience was far more generous with her commiserations than she should be. It was his father who’d set into motion the destruction of her happiness and his. And what would she say when she learned Aiden was here at the castle? His gut knotted at the thought. Patience would think the worst of him for certain.

  Anger and resentment erupted inside Julian as he attacked his unseen slab of beef. The old Crianlarich had created a mess, and Julian had been forced to clean it up. In the process he’d lost Patience. In the back of his head, a small voice whispered that there was the possibility he could be wrong. Muireall had said Patience still loved him. If that was true—he crushed the hope without hesitation.

  “Muireall says you don’t go outside anymore.”

  “My sister does no’ know when to hold her tongue,” he said harshly before regretting his sharp tone. Muireall only had his best interest at heart.

  “She loves you,” Patience said softly with the hairs breadth of a pause that made him think she’d been about to say something else. “And you’re evading the topic.”

  “Perhaps you haven’t noticed,” he said sardonically. “I’m blind.”

  “And prone to self-pity as well.” The dry note of amusement in her voice made Julian clench his teeth.

  “I do no’ feel sorry for myself,” he growled as he focused his gaze on the dark round shape that was her head.

  “No? I’d venture to say you play the martyr quite well,” she murmured unsympathetically. “You forget I remember how disagreeable you can be when you’re confined in your movements.”

  Julian ignored the lack of compassion in her voice. It was obvious she was referring to the time he’d had a sprained ankle. He wasn’t about to say it out loud, but she was right. He was a surly bastard when he couldn’t move about under his own steam. Silence filled the room as he continued to eat his dinner. Julian reached out to the dessert plate then stopped.

  “Do I need a spoon for dessert?” he asked with annoyance.

  “I’m sorry,” she murmured ruefully. “I should have mentioned that I had Mrs. Lester send up some gooseberry jam shortbread cookies. I didn’t know they were your favorites until she mentioned it.”

  He grunted and bobbed his head at the thoughtful gesture. Unwilling to expand on the expression of gratitude, he cautiously ran his fingers along the rim of the dessert plate to pick up one of the cookies. The sweet taste of the cookie mixed with the tart gooseberry jam in the center for a delicious treat.

  It was almost as savory a taste as he remembered Patience’s mouth could be. Julian frowned at the direction of his thoughts. The sooner she left Crianlarich Castle, the more quickly he’d forget her. He knew it was an asinine thought even before the jeering voice in the back of his head could chide him for it. Forgetting Patience was impossible. When he’d finished eating, he wiped his mouth with his napkin then dropped it carelessly over the remains of his meal. He leaned back in his chair and tipped his head to one side as if it would help him actually see her face instead of the dark shadow he saw.

  “Why are you here, Patience?” he asked in an emotionless voice. He heard her draw in a quick breath of surprise. He immediately remembered times when he’d touched her, and she’d gasped just as sweetly. Julian shoved the memories out of his thoughts to wait stoically for her response.

  Chapter 9

  * * *

  Patience sucked in her breath quickly at Julian’s question. How was she supposed to answer him? She closed her eyes for a moment before looking at him again. Blindness had not destroyed his commanding presence. If anything, he was even more devastating to her senses. Her heart ached to tell him the truth at this very moment, but she knew he wouldn’t believe her. There was even the possibility that Muireall was wrong.

  Her lack of trust in him so many months ago could have easily destroyed his love for her. The thought caused a small bout of nausea to roll through her. No, she couldn’t believe that. She simply needed to regain his trust, and his entire demeanor today said it would take time to do that.

  “I asked you a question,” he bit out. “Or are you trying to determine what lie to tell me next?”

  “I’ve not lied to you,” she said quietly. “I came because you need me. I came because I want to be here.”

  “I told you earlier—I do no’ need you.”

  “Don’t you,” she huffed at his obstinate response. “When was the last time you were outside? When did you last go for a ride, something I know you enjoy immensely?”

  “A ride?” Julian laughed loudly, but there was bitterness in the sound. Her heart ached for him, but compassion and pity weren’t going to help him. “I think you’ve gone a bit daft, madam.”

  “Why? Because I think you can do things that you’ve convinced yourself that you can’t?” she snapped. “I was right about you playing the martyr. You’re not even willing to at least try to do things you enjoy.”

  “Because I can’t.”

  The flat response took her breath away for a second. He truly believed he was incapable of living a full life despite his affliction. The Rockwood family thrived on challenges, and she knew Julian would not be able to turn one down either. She bit down on her lip for a brief second before she stood up.

  “You surprise me, Julian,” she said with deliberate disdain in her voice. “I never took you for a coward.”

  Patience started toward the door, and in a flash of movement, Julian was on his feet, one hand braced against the table as his hand reached for her. On the first thrust of his hand outward, his fingers barely brushed across the top of her shoulder. Before she could step out of reach, his hand wrapped around her arm, and he pulled her toward him.

  Fury had darkened his features, and if she didn’t know him well, she would have thought him capable of beating her. He leaned in close to her, and Patience drew in a sharp breath of surprise before her entire body hummed with a familiar vibration.

  The blank, sightless look in his beautiful coffee-colored eyes as he stared at her without seeing her made Patience flinch. It made her wish with every fiber of her being that she had the ability to give his sight back to him. His mouth thin with outrage, she realized she might have pushed him too far.

 
; “Do no’ ever call me a coward again, Patience. I’ll no’ take that from anyone, especially a woman who hid from the world for six months,” he snarled. His words cut at her emotions like a finely honed sword. But she would willingly accept the brutality of them if it meant she could give him back some semblance of his independence. She swallowed the knot threatening to close her throat.

  “Then I take it I shall not be riding alone tomorrow morning?” she asked in a careless tone.

  “Aye,” he growled. “Ye will no’ be alone.”

  His grip on her arm relaxed as if he intended to let her go before he tightened his grip again. With a sharp tug, he pulled her into his chest. The sudden proximity of him made her heart do a somersault. Fingers splayed against his chest, he smelled of warm spice and bergamot. It had been too long since she’d been this close to him, and she trembled with a sudden need that scorched its way through her veins.

  His mouth was so close to hers that with just a slight tilt of her head their lips would touch. Almost as if he’d read her mind, his hand cupped the back of her neck as his other arm wrapped around her waist and he pulled her tight against him.

  “I have no idea why ye came back, Patience,” he said hoarsely. “But ye are treading a dark and dangerous path, lass.”

  No sooner had he uttered his warning than his mouth captured hers in a demanding kiss. A tremor shot through her as her lips parted beneath his. Every bit the arrogant, commanding Highlander, his tongue swept into her mouth to duel tempestuously with hers. She knew it was folly, but she responded eagerly to his hot caress. The tart taste of gooseberry lingered in his mouth and danced across her tongue as his swirled around hers.

  Caught up in the raw, sensual maleness of him, the heat radiating off him engulfed her until her body trembled with need. Hard, steely muscles pressed into her body with a powerful, unyielding strength that tempted and aroused her. She ached to feel his skin against hers until she didn’t know where she ended or he began.

  Hot and erotic, his kiss enticed and claimed her until a hedonistic rush of pleasure spiraled through her veins. It sent a pulse streaking downward to the center of her core. The moment it reached the sensitive spot between her legs, a low cry of need rolled out of her throat as her body ached for more than just his kiss. The exquisite need for fulfillment spiraled through her while her heart raced out of control.

  She moaned softly as with each stroke of his tongue, she yielded to his silent seduction. The pounding of his heart vibrated against her fingertips as a desire so deep and strong made her blind to everything but his kiss. She forgot all that had brought them to this point and simply gave herself up to the sweet passion of the moment. The low growl rumbling in his chest sent a rush of delight streaking through her. In the next instant, he thrust her from him.

  “Get out,” he said coldly.

  Heart beating wildly in her breast, Patience stared up at Julian’s stony expression. There wasn’t the slightest trace of emotion on his face, and tears welled in her eyes. Was he truly lost to her? Had she come to Crianlarich Castle for nothing? The back of her hand pressed against her mouth, Patience silenced the cry of pain careening through her. She gulped back her tears and raced out of Julian’s bedroom.

  The door closed behind her, she walked the few steps down the hall to the bedroom next to her husband’s. Although Patience had protested, Muireall had insisted that as the Crianlarich’s wife, the bedroom next to Julian’s belonged to her. Wiping the tears off her cheeks, Patience quietly entered her room lit by just one candle.

  As she’d instructed, there was no fire in the fireplace. Muireall had objected expressing concern that Patience would be cold. She’d simply shook her head and requested more blankets. In the dim light, she looked around for her trunks. They were tucked away in the corner behind a screen with her things already in the wardrobe and chest of drawers.

  Exhausted from her journey and her contentious interaction with Julian, she proceeded to undress. She was certain she would have no problem sleeping through the night. Her nightmares were now fewer and further between, but stressful days like today had a propensity to make her experience unexpected moments of panic.

  With a heavy heart she proceeded to undress and pulled her nightgown from the wardrobe. She’d just dropped the silk gown over her head when she heard a crash in Julian’s room. Without thinking, she raced toward the connecting door between their rooms. Patience’s hand touched the cool metal doorknob for a fraction of a second before she jerked it back at the sound of Julian cursing his inability to see what he was doing.

  A breath of relief whispered past her lips. He was all right. There was no need to antagonize him any further tonight. And she had no doubt the knowledge that she was sleeping in the room right next to his would definitely anger him. Slowly, she walked back to the bed and sank down onto the mattress.

  Patience closed her eyes and pressed her fingers against her lips. She’d been woefully unprepared for Julian’s kiss. He’d been as masterful as always, but when he’d pushed her away, the expression on his face said he’d been completely unmoved by their kiss.

  Had it been his way of demonstrating exactly how futile her efforts were in coming to Crianlarich Castle? But if he believed she’d come simply out of pity and her duty as a wife what purpose did kissing her serve? Confusion spread its wings to speed its way through her. Whatever Julian thought, he would not be easily convinced that she’d come to Crianlarich because she still loved him. Patience’s lips tightened with determination, and her cheek protested.

  Extremely tired, Patience longed for nothing but to slide under the covers. She considered putting off for just one more day the stretching exercises she was supposed to do daily. But her marred flesh had been tight and itchy all day, and it had intensified over the last few hours. She muttered an unladylike curse for not having done her usual regimen of exercise and emollients for more than a week now. Now, when she was fatigued, she couldn’t put off her exercises any longer.

  Harlan would not be happy with her at all. The thought of Dr. Branson made her mouth twist in a small smile. Immediately, the mottled skin on her cheek sent a signal of pain to her head. It was a vivid reminder that she needed to do her exercises. Harlan had been a regular visitor to Melton House ever since the fire. Although he was still her doctor, he’d become a friend as well. Like her family, there was no horror or pity in his eyes when he looked at her. Knowing he’d be disappointed at her lack of discipline, Patience went in search of her cosmetic case. As she did so, she tilted her head to deliberately pull and stretch the taut flesh of her cheek.

  She continued to repeat the exercise as she retrieved the special cream Harlan had prepared for her. It was designed to ease, if not eliminate, the need to scratch at her skin for relief. Jar in hand, she sat down at the dressing table and avoided staring at her reflection. It still pained her immensely to see the creature she’d become. Closing her eyes, she applied the emollient to the tight, dry skin of her cheek.

  The soft floral scent of lavender, sandalwood, and something Harlan called aloe wafted beneath her nose as she worked the cream into the scarred tissue. Harlan had said the aloe was a natural ointment to alleviate the pain caused by burns. Relief came quickly, and she sighed as the unpleasant tingling began to subside. Patience continued to do the facial exercises Harlan had taught her as she applied the soothing lotion to her forearm and lower leg. When she’d finished working the cream into her skin, she proceeded to move her arm and leg in the stretches that would help keep the skin from retracting.

  The exercises brought tears to her eyes, and she angrily berated herself for allowing her packing to prevent her from following Dr. Branson’s orders. She would not forgo them in the future. After a long time the tight discomfort of her scars eased, and she stopped her exertions. The jar lid screwed back into place, she set it on the dressing table. As she did so her gaze settled upon the scarred woman in the mirror.

  Although she hated the fact that Julian�
�s blindness had taken his independence, she was grateful he couldn’t see the horrid thing she’d become. Patience winced at the thought as she rested her elbows on the vanity and cradled her face in her hands. The journey to Crianlarich today had been long and had started out unpleasantly.

  Victoria Station had been a discordant mix of train whistles, shouts, and the loud whoosh of steam engines. Everywhere there was chaos and her hand had gripped Percy’s arm as if it were a life preserver. Her brother knew exactly how difficult being in public was for her.

  “You’re doing fine, Patience,” her brother said in a soothing voice. “Nothing to it. We’ll get you on the train, and you’ll be in Crianlarich before you know it.”

  She didn’t have a chance to respond as a tall, burly man charged past her, his large shoulder knocking her away from Percy. In her effort to remain standing, her hat became caught in another passerby’s jacket, and it was tugged completely off her head, along with the veil that covered her face.

  “Oh, dear God,” she exclaimed in panic. “Percy…where’s my hat?”

  “Here you are, miss,” the cheerful voice of a boy echoed in her ear.

  Not thinking she lifted her head to meet the boy’s gaze. Instantly, the child dropped her hat and recoiled from her with a small cry of horror. At his cry, other people turned their heads, and gasps of dismay and pity assaulted her ears.

  Percy growled an oath and leapt forward to scoop up her hat. Deftly, his arm about her waist, he shielded her as she fumbled in her efforts to hide her face again. Terror spiraled through her, and she clung to her brother’s tall strength.

  “I can’t do this, Percy,” she whispered hoarsely. “Take me back to Melton House.”

  “Of course you can do this, sweetheart. You’re a Rockwood. Rockwoods never turn away from a challenge.”