The Highlander's Woman (The Reckless Rockwoods #3)

by Monica Burns

  His mind flashed back to the few minutes Dr. Branson had spent questioning him after Patience and her brother had left the room earlier in the day. Despite the fact that his head had been splitting with pain, he’d wanted to wring the man’s neck for having come to Crianlarich. The fact that the man had come all the way from London to see Patience told Julian the doctor had feelings for his wife.

  The last thing he wanted was the man anywhere near Patience. It didn’t matter that she’d said she loved him. Things were still too tenuous between them, he wasn’t about to give her a reason to run into the arms of another man. Julian grimaced as a slight twinge of pain tugged at his forehead. Despite his antipathy for the man, the doctor had been professional in his manner.

  Branson had said it was possible his persistent headaches were brought on by stress, but that more than likely it was the body’s way of restoring his sight. Julian hadn’t believed the man at the time, but now—his gaze focused on Patience’s sweet face once more. God, how much he loved her. He allowed himself the small pleasure of pushing a lock of hair off her face. The moment he did so, she shifted her head with a quiet murmur, and he drew in a sharp breath of horror as the moonlight exposed the extent of her scars. Bile rose in his throat. God help him. What she must have suffered those months after the fire. As he studied the damage to her face, his throat closed with emotion.

  He’d almost lost her.

  He still could.

  Fear snaked through him. The moment she learned he could see again, she might run. She’d freely admitted she wouldn’t have returned to Crianlarich if he hadn’t been rendered blind by the accident. Julian closed his eyes before looking down at her again. She’d thought him incapable of loving her in spite of her burns, but she was wrong. Where she saw ugliness, he saw the beauty of a soul willing to die for those she loved. She possessed a courage he couldn’t begin to fathom.

  Patience sighed again, and he quickly laid back down and closed his eyes. He had no idea how to handle the current situation. She turned over and nestled her body against his, and a mixture of happiness and dread rolled over him with the force of the rushing waters tumbling over the rocks at Eas Falloch.

  “Julian?” His name was barely a whisper on her lips, and a small smile curved his mouth.

  “Yes, mo ghràdh.” At his quiet reply, she released a sigh. It vibrated with the quiet timbre of sheer happiness. Julian wrapped his arm around her and bent his head to brush his mouth against the top of her head.

  “Is your headache better?”

  “Whatever that doctor of yours gave me worked wonders.” Despite his efforts to keep his voice devoid of anything other than nonchalance, he knew he’d failed when she came up on her elbow. He intentionally kept his eyes closed as he sensed her staring down at him.

  “He’s only a friend,” she said in a hesitant voice. “I could never love him.”

  “And why would that be, mo leannan?”

  “Because I love you, Julian. I’m yours heart, body, and soul.”

  The touch of her lips against his made his heart thunder so loudly in his ears he thought it might be the beginnings of another headache. The moment she retreated, he pulled her back. One hand curled around her neck, he kissed her and relished the hot sweetness of her lips.

  With a sigh of surrender, she willingly gave him access to the delicious heat of her mouth. She tasted of cinnamon and sugar. Julian took his time savoring her as their tongues mated in a fiery dance of passion. Under the covers he was already naked, and he could only assume she’d undressed him as he slept. She on the other hand wore a nightgown of soft linen. As he deepened their kiss, his hands gathered the material at her hips and tugged the garment upward.

  The need to explore every inch of her made his hands fumble slightly as she moved to help him pull her nightgown over her head and toss it aside. He rolled her onto her back, capturing her mouth before feathering kisses across her unmarred cheek. She sighed softly, and he recognized it for the happiness he was feeling as well. Ever so slowly, he trailed small kisses along the line of her jaw as he worked his way to the left side of her face. The instant his mouth touched the edge of her scarred features, she stiffened beneath him.

  “Don’t,” she exclaimed softly and turned her head away to prevent him from going any further. Deliberately keeping his eyes closed, he kissed the silky smooth cheek she offered him.

  “Let me love all of you, mo ghràdh,” he whispered as his index finger gently turned her face back toward him. “You are mine, mo leannan. I love everything about you. What sort of man would I be if I loved only a part of you?”

  “You don’t understand.” Her voice was barely a whisper, and he caught the scent of her salty tears.

  “Do no’ cry, my darling lass.”

  “I can’t help it. I’m… I’m a terrible…terrible person.”

  “Why in God’s name would ye say such a thing, let alone think it, Patience?”

  He struggled not to look at her, instinctively knowing that to do so would shift the pivotal nature of their conversation. She’d said her soul was his to love and keep, but she needed to trust him completely with whatever darkness was buried inside her. When she didn’t answer him, he kissed her gently. He braced himself on his side with his elbow then traced an invisible line from the base of her throat to the valley of her breasts.

  “Tell me, mo ghràdh,” he whispered. “There is no’ a part of you that I could no’ love, good or bad.”

  “You don’t know what you’re saying,” she said in a tear-filled voice.

  “Trust me, mo leannan. You have given your heart to me. Trust me to treasure it as I know only I can.” His words went unanswered, and he pressed a tender kiss to her brow. Silently, he urged her to break down all the barriers between them.

  “I survived.” The words were barely audible, and he wasn’t even certain she’d spoken. His next thought was that he didn’t think he’d heard her correctly. With a frown he shook his head in puzzlement.

  “Aye, that you did, and I can no’ say it enough as to how grateful I am for that.”

  “That’s not what I mean,” she whispered, and he frowned in confusion at the self-loathing he heard in her voice. She dragged in a quick breath of air. “I mean, I’m glad it wasn’t me who died that night.”

  “I do no’ understand, lass. Why should ye no’ be glad you lived.”

  “No, I mean I’m glad I wasn’t the one who fell into the flames.” The words she choked out were filled with profound guilt. The sound made a tight band encircle Julian’s chest as he realized what she was trying to say.

  “Patience, did you want Caleb or Devin to die?”

  “No,” she cried out with a wealth of misery.

  “Do you think either one of them would no’ have been willing to give their lives to see you safe and unharmed?”

  “But I don’t think I would have been able to die for them.”

  The words echoed through the room like a cry of a wounded animal. The anguish in her voice made him pull her close as he fell back into the mattress. Tears wet his chest as his wife trembled violently against him. God help him, no wonder she’d not wanted to see any of her family or him after the fire. He had no doubt her guilt had been eating her up inside.

  The fact that she’d shared her darkest part of her was humbling. Unable to think of anything to say at the moment, he remained silent. He simply held her and allowed her to release everything she’d kept locked up for so long. Slowly her tears and trembling abated until she lay still beside him. After a period of time, Julian carried her hand to his lips.

  “You are wrong to think you could no’ have given your life for them, mo ghràdh,” he said quietly as he kissed the palm of her hand. “You did that the moment you insisted Caleb carry Alma to safety knowing you would be left alone.”

  “I couldn’t have saved Alma. Only Caleb had the strength to save her, not me.”

  “Aye, and yet you insisted your brother go first with the chi
ld while you remained behind in your determination to see them and the other children safe. It was no’ your fault Patience, any more than it was your fault not to understand the an dara sealladh.” Julian kissed the palm of her hand before pressing it against his cheek.

  “But the children don’t have their fathers,” she whispered with a deep anguish that declared how big a heart she possessed.

  “Aye, tis a sad thing, but tis no’ wrong to be glad you are alive. I am sorry Caleb and Devin died, but I give thanks every day that you lived,” he said with a feeling of selfishness. “If that is wrong or self-serving of me, I can no’ help it. You are the air I breathe, the heat that warms me, and my reason for living.”

  Her arm tightened around his waist, and she clung to him in a manner that made his heart swell with contentment that she’d trusted him. Julian’s hands caressed the curve of a soft, plump hip. In the short month she’d been at Crianlarich, Mrs. Lester had almost fully restored his wife’s curvaceous figure. She’d been far too thin when she’d returned home.

  Patience moved against him, and his cock stirred to life. She shifted her body until she was pressed into his side, and her fingers skimmed their way down across his chest to his stomach. As her hand moved downward, desire made him hard as iron. The instant she touched him, he uttered a low growl of pleasure. At the sound, she kissed his shoulder with a quiet murmur that he thought might have been a laugh.

  His body jumped as her hand wrapped around him in a firm, pleasantly snug grip. The touch pulled a louder groan from him. A small thumb rubbed over the tip of him, smearing the wet drop she found there across his skin. Once more her body moved against his. While her hand worked his cock, her mouth caressed his shoulder then his chest as she inched her way downward.

  Anticipation grew inside him as her mouth burned his flesh. There was a tenderness to each kiss she placed on his body. It aroused his need for her until he was painfully hard. His cock jumped then stiffened more as she blew a gentle breeze across his erection. The moment she took him in the white heat of her mouth, he shouted with pleasure. Slowly, her mouth teased and tormented him until he was certain he would spill his seed prematurely. Unwilling to deny himself the satisfaction of losing himself in her body, he pulled her upward to kiss her hard. Without prompting, she settled herself on top of him.

  A soft cry of delight parted her lips as she began to rock her hips against his. Eyes still closed he thrust upward into the sultry heat of her core. With each stroke of her body against his, he silently claimed her as his own. The sharp edge of desire tugged at him until he was oblivious to everything but her. There was only the gentle scent of her desire, the silkiness of her skin against his, and the sweet sound of her moans of delight. This time he would not let her go. He would make her see the darkness was only one facet of her. She was his, and he would not give her up.

  § § §

  Desire and need swept over Patience with the strength of a wild wind across the moors. The emotions swirled around her and drove her to worship his hard body with her softer one. He filled and stretched her until she thought her heart would weep for the joy their lovemaking brought her. Stroke for stroke her body adored his with everything she had to give.

  Suddenly the first ripple of a climax skimmed through her. With each passing second the ripples grew and expanded until her entire body was on fire. The intensity of it grew until it became a tumultuous crescendo of passion and each spasm deepened the pleasure binding her to him. Beneath her, Julian groaned loudly, as her body gripped him tightly.

  The friction of their joining pulled a cry of ecstasy from her as her body raced toward a fulfillment unlike anything they’d shared before. It was a moment of all-consuming need that bound them together for a lifetime. The moment she reached the threshold of her release, Julian urged her to ride him hard and fast. As he thrust into her at a furious pace, it heightened the force of her own pleasure.

  Just when she thought it impossible for her to reach a higher peak of delight, his body took hers higher until she cried out and shattered over him. As she clutched at his body with the strength of her climax, Julian grasped her hips and with one last thrust he buried himself deep inside her and throbbed with the ultimate of possessions.

  Ever so slowly her body descended from the pinnacle he’d carried her to. Her eyes opened, and she stared down at his beautiful, chiseled features. Her Highlander was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen, and she was his—she was the Highlander’s woman. The moonlight caressed his noble features, and she stared down into his coffee-colored eyes. She frowned. Something was different. It was if he could actually—her heart plummeted to her stomach as bile rose in her throat.

  Dear God, he could see her. In one violent move, she recoiled and broke away from him intent on escape. Strong hands caught her waist, and in a flash of movement Julian pinned her beneath him. She met his gaze for a brief moment then closed her eyes unwilling to see the pity in his gaze. Stiff and motionless against him, her heart exploded in a fiery blaze that died just as quickly, leaving her with nothing but a charred object in her breast. How could she possibly stay at Crianlarich now? Her hideous scars would repulse him. A tear slipped out from under her eyelids and a warm mouth kissed it away.

  “Do you no’ realize how beautiful you are mo ghràdh?” he asked softly as he continued to kiss the scars on her cheek. Patience shuddered at the caress, but remained motionless. How could he say she was beautiful when he could see her scars now? All she wanted to do was escape this nightmare. He’d made love to her without telling her things had changed.

  “You lied to me,” she said in a flat voice.

  “I did no’ lie to you, lass.”

  “Deceived then. You made love to me knowing you could see my…you didn’t give me the choice...” She didn’t finish her sentence as she saw anger darken Julian’s face.

  “The choice to do what, Patience? Run?” he snarled. “Tis time for you to stop running from me? Did you no’ tell Una that your scars do no’ define who you are?”

  “That was different,” she protested vehemently.

  “How?” He glared at her, silently demanding an answer.

  “You couldn’t see me,” she whispered. She’d forgotten how relentless the man could be when he was convinced he was right. “You only saw the woman you remembered before the fire.”

  “God in heaven woman, you’re the one who can no’ see,” he ground out harshly. “I’ve always been able to see you, mo leannan.”

  “You were blind,” she snapped. “How could you possibly see me?”

  “There other ways to see, Patience,” he said quietly as he caressed the curve of her shoulder before his hand glided down to the scarred patches of skin on her arm. “My hands saw you every time I touched your scars. They told me how you were hurting inside.”

  She remained frozen as his fingers lightly stroked one of the places where the fire had burned her. Unable to respond, she tried to keep breathing as his mouth caressed the inside of her wrist before his lips made their way up over the damaged skin of her arm.

  “I see every inch of you simply when I breathe.” There was an almost hypnotic note in his voice that slowly eased some of her tension. “Just the scent of you tells me when you’re happy or when your body is ready for mine. My eyes aren’t the only way I know or see you, mo leannan.”

  “But…” her voice died as she flinched at the reality he had already seen her ravaged skin, and yet he seemed unaffected by the extent of her injuries.

  “Do no’ argue with me, Patience Rockwood MacTavish,” he growled. “Do no’ tell me about your scars. I do no’ see them.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” she snapped, angered that he could suggest her burnt skin was invisible to the human eye.

  “Are you calling me a liar, Patience?” The dangerous note in his voice made her flinch. There were many things that could anger Julian, but someone questioning his word was perhaps one of the worst.

  “No,” sh
e said as she turned her head away from him.

  Firm fingers gripped her chin, and he turned her head so her scarred face was covered in moonlight. She trembled and tried to jerk free of his grasp, but his grip was unrelenting. Slowly, Julian leaned forward and brushed the burnt flesh of her cheek with his lips.

  “Where you see scars, I see a woman willing to give her life for those she loves. Where you see burnt flesh, I see the courage of a woman who chose to fight and live. I do no’ see your scars, mo ghràdh. I see only the heart of a woman worthy of the title, Mistress of Crianlarich.”

  Julian’s lips deliberately caressed the rough skin of her burned cheek. His kiss was reverent, and tears flowed down her cheek as she trembled in the face of his loving devotion. Patience cupped his face in her hands and returned his kiss. Slowly lifting his head, Julian studied her intently. When she didn’t say a word, a contented expression settled on his face, and his dark brown eyes gleamed with the bright edge of satisfaction in the moonlight.

  “At last, my wife has learned no’ to argue with me.” The confidence in his voice made her eye him with resigned amusement before the image of an out-of-control blaze flitted through her head.

  “You can’t expect me to forget everything that’s happened since…since that terrible night.”

  “No, mo leannan, you will no’ forget. But I’ll remind you every day and night that your scars are a reflection of the beauty of your heart and soul.” The sincerity in his voice made Patience’s heart ache with love and happiness for having married a man who loved with such depth of emotion.

  “I love you, Julian. I love you so much,” she said softly.

  Her hand curled around the nape of his strong neck, and she tugged his head down to hers. Tenderly and lovingly, Patience kissed him with all the love filling her heart. It would take time for her to totally accept Julian’s reassurance that the scars she saw in her mirror were the same scars Julian saw. But she knew his love would help her overcome that hurdle.