Always and Forever

by Linda Poitevin

A rap sounded at the bathroom door and Grace jumped, dropping the pregnancy test into the sink with a clatter.

  “Grace? You in there?” Sean asked. “I have a surprise for you.”

  She clapped a hand over her mouth to muffle the guffaw that tried to escape. He had a surprise? He had no freaking idea.

  “Grace?”

  She gulped for air, sent her reflection a stern look, and squared her shoulders. “I’ll be out in a second,” she called back. She scooped up the evidence and dropped the seven sticks into the back of her jumbled makeup drawer, then crushed the newest box and stuffed it into the bottom of the trash can with the others. She’d deal with later, after she’d figured out how to deal with it. Then, taking a deep, bracing breath, she opened the door.

  Sean regarded her curiously. “Everything okay? You look a little flushed.”

  “Fine!” she squeaked. She cleared her throat. “Everything is fine. I just needed a couple of minutes to myself, is all.”

  Guilt flashed across his expression, and he stretched out a hand to brush the hair back from her cheek. “Damn,” he muttered. “I guess I should’ve taken them to the museum today, after all. It just seemed like so much effort, getting everyone out the door, and you already looked tired. I thought the movie idea would be easier for you.”

  “And it was,” Grace assured him. So the bags under her eyes weren’t just her imagination? Wonderful. With an effort, she refrained from pulling away from his touch, a move that would only raise more questions. She forced a smile. “Seriously, I’m fine. You said you had a surprise?”

  “Dinner,” he announced, looking rather like one of the kids when they’d just presented her with a gift they’d made. “Out. Just the two of us.”

  “Out?” Grace echoed weakly, trying hard to admire the gift and not dwell on how she’d rather have a nap. “Out where?”

  “Somewhere nice. For a little celebration of”—he waved an encompassing hand—“this. All of this. Us, the kids, surviving our first almost-a-year.” He pulled her in for a hug and nibbled at her earlobe. “I think we’ve earned a celebration, don’t you?”

  Well, yes, but...Grace pushed aside the traitorous warmth triggered by his touch and thought about her bed again—purely for sleep purposes. Really. “Does it need to be tonight? I’m not sure I have anything clean...”

  Sean abandoned his exploration of the sensitive skin along the side of her neck. “Gareth stopped by and offered to take the kids for us. With Gwyn due any day, it could be our last chance for a while. He said they’d feed them and everything. All we have to do is drop them off.” He dropped a kiss on her forehead and limped down the hall toward their bedroom, adding over his shoulder, “I’ll get dressed and then get everyone organized so you can get ready in peace. You have an hour.”

  Grace stared at the door that shut behind him, the objection she hadn’t had the heart to make hovering on her lips. A muted, cheerful whistle drifted from their room, and the tinny tinkle of music from the kids’ movie she’d abandoned rose from the family room below. She sighed. Maybe Sean was right. Maybe an evening out wouldn’t be so bad. The kids would be thrilled to see Gwyn and Gareth’s gang, and it would be nice for her and Sean to have some time to themselves, especially since it wasn’t likely they’d have another opportunity for a while. Gwyn had been as big as a house when Grace had seen her a couple of days ago, and—

  And dear lord, if those sticks were right, that would be her in seven or eight months’ time, too.

  Five kids.

  Five.

  With a last, weak glance at the bedroom door, she retreated into the bathroom to put on her makeup and stare again at the change in direction her life was about to take.

  Chapter 4

  Even in the chaos of their own four kids being greeted by Gwyn and Gareth’s three, Grace couldn’t help but notice Gwyn’s narrowed gaze on her. As if she knew. Or suspected. Which was impossible. Wasn’t it?

  Just like all seven sticks are impossible, a dry little voice pointed out in her head.

  Grace mentally told it where to go and dodged Gwyn’s hug in pursuit of Annabelle, who hadn’t yet removed her shoes. She carted the three-year-old back to the front entry and held her—shield-like between her and Gwyn—as she began unbuckling Annabelle’s sandals with her free hand, trying to keep the muddied footwear off her dress. Trust Annabelle to find and wade through the only patch of mud in the entire yard before Grace had even closed the vehicle door.

  She blinked as Gareth took the preschooler from her and set her on the hall bench.

  “Let me do that,” he said. “While I’m sure the muddy look is acceptable in some restaurants, Au Coin du Foret isn’t one of them.”

  Grace blinked again. “Au Coin du Foret?” She looked at Sean. “That’s one of the hottest restaurants in the region. How on earth did you get a last-minute reservation there?”

  “Not me. Him.” Sean tipped his head toward his cousin. “Apparently being famous is good for something besides attracting the Adele Montgomerys of the world.”

  Grace winced. “Please tell me she didn’t accost you again,” she said to Gareth. “Honestly, in the six years I’ve lived in that neighborhood, she never once gave me so much as the time of day until she saw you visiting. Now I think she camps out in front of her living room window just waiting for you.”

  Sean snorted. “My thoughts exactly.”

  Gareth helped the unshod Annabelle down onto the floor, and she raced down the hallway to join the others who had already disappeared into the kitchen. “It’s nothing,” he brushed off their concern. “I’ve had lots of practice dodging her type, believe me. Now, get out of here before someone remembers they need something and you end up late.”

  He reached to open the front door, and Sean stepped out onto the porch. Before Grace could follow, however, Gwyn, silent until now, darted forward with surprising speed and agility to block her path.

  “Wait!” she said. “I haven’t had my hug yet.”

  “Um...” Grace said.

  “And I need to ask you something,” Gwyn added, her blue gaze steely. “About Sage.”

  “You do?” asked Gareth.

  “I do. We’ll be out in a minute.”

  Husband and wife exchanged a look Grace couldn’t decipher, and then Gareth followed Sean outside and closed the door. Gwyn wasted no time in placing her hands on her hips.

  “How long have you known?” she asked.

  “I—” Tears prickled behind Grace’s eyes, and she broke off to blink them back before admitting—because Gwyn’s expression told her there was no point in denial, “A week, give or take. That’s when I did the first test.”

  “How many did you do?”

  “Including today, seven. They all gave the same result.”

  “I see.” Gwyn said. “Does it help to know that I did three myself?”

  Grace gave a watery giggle, then sagged against the wall. “Freaking hell, Gwyn, what am I going to do? I can barely manage four of them. How am I going to deal with five? And how in hell do I tell Sean?”

  The woman who was rapidly becoming the best friend Grace had ever had offered her a wry smile. “Remember last Christmas, when I found out I was pregnant with Junior here?” She patted her belly.

  Grace nodded.

  “I’m going to share the same very wise words with you that were shared with me. Ready?”

  Grace nodded again.

  “Do you love him?”

  She didn’t hesitate. “With all my heart.”

  “And do you trust him?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “Then just tell him. It’ll be a shock, but he’ll come around, and the two of you will figure things out. Together.” Gwyn wrapped her in a warm, comforting hug, then set her away firmly and reached for the door knob. “Now take a deep breath and go have dinner with your man.”

  ***

  “Is everything okay?” One of Sean’s hands found hers on her lap as the other steered th
e vehicle through the sun-dappled Gatineau Hills toward the restaurant. “You’re awfully quiet.”

  Grace squeezed his fingers and made her voice light. “I’m just enjoying the scenery,” she said. It wasn’t a total lie, because while she may have been mulling over Gwyn’s words, she’d always loved this drive. And she would tell him, but not tonight. Not when he’d gone to this much trouble to give them an evening away from all their responsibilities.

  “It is beautiful, isn’t it? We should bring the kids up for a hike this summer. There are a couple of easy trails that I should be able to manage okay with my leg. And camping. We should definitely take them camping. I’m pretty sure Gwyn and Gareth have all the necessary equipment, and I don’t think they’ll be using it much this year with the new baby. God, can you imagine being in a tent with that many kids and a newborn?” Sean shook his head with a chuckle. “Better them than us, that’s all I can say. Ah. We’re here.”

  Grace’s stomach rolled, and bile rose into her throat as Sean turned into the restaurant’s gravelled, lamp-lit parking lot. She closed her eyes and fought back the nausea and panic lancing through her. Sean would ‘come around,’ Gwyn had assured her, but with statements like that, Grace couldn’t help but have her doubts.

  Serious doubts.

  Chapter 5

  “A penny for them.”

  Startled out of her reverie, Grace looked up from pushing her petit pois around the elegant, gold-edged plate with her fork. Across the table, Sean leaned forward on his elbows, head tipped quizzically to one side. His green eyes reflected the light of the candle on the white linen tabletop between them.

  “You’re a million miles away,” he said. “Was tonight a bad idea?”

  “No!” Grace reached out and put a hand on his forearm, her fingers settling over tightened muscle beneath his suit jacket sleeve. “No, it was a lovely idea. I’m just...I was just...”

  “Thinking about the kids and their dad?” he offered.

  She seized on the lifeline. “Yes. It just seems so surreal, still, I think. That it’s over, I mean. And that the kids are mine—”

  “Ours.”

  “What?”

  “The kids are ours,” Sean corrected. “Yours and mine.”

  She looked down into the candle’s flickering flame. “But they’re not, are they? Or at least, they don’t have to be.”

  The muscles beneath her fingertips flexed. “I’m not sure I follow.”

  Grace swallowed hard, searching for the right words. Words that would let Sean know he still had a choice in all this—a choice she needed him to make before he knew about the latest...complication. “I mean they’re not your responsibility, Sean. Not if you don’t want them to be.”

  A long silence followed her words, and then Sean’s voice dropped to a growl. “Grace, what the hell is going on? You’ve been like a cat walking across hot bricks for the last week, and now you’re telling me the kids aren’t mine unless I—” His eyes narrowed. “Are you trying to call it off between us?”

  “No! Of course not! Well...not exactly.”

  “Then what the hell?” He scowled. “Exactly.”

  She bit her lip. “It’s just...I just...” She stopped and drew a deep, steadying breath. Then she made her gaze lift to his. “Our relationship hasn’t exactly gotten off to a normal start, has it? Between Barry finding us at the cottage, Julianne’s funeral, and then the trial—not to mention learning how to parent four kids—and...well, things have been pretty intense, don’t you think? And neither of us has had much time to catch our breath, let alone reconsider.”

  Sean’s eyebrows stayed clamped together. “And are you? Reconsidering, I mean?”

  “No.” The very thought made Grace’s heart hurt. Her soul ache. She shook her head and repeated in a firmer voice, “No. But I need you to know that I’d understand if you were.”

  For a long moment—long enough for panic to begin fluttering in her belly—Sean said nothing, staring down at her hand resting on his arm. When he finally looked up again, his gaze smoldered with an expression that made her catch her breath.

  Sean let out a long breath of his own and began speaking, his voice pitched low. “In the seven months that I’ve known you, Grace Daniels, you have been the epitome of your name. I have seen you take down a murderer, bury your sister, and step into the role of mother to her four children. You’ve changed diapers, kissed skinned knees, learned to cook, and been the anchor for a new family, all in spite of dealing with your own grief. So many moments I’ve looked at you and thought that I could never love you more than I did right then, right there...but you keep proving me wrong. And you just did so again.”

  Before Grace could fully absorb the words, let alone respond past the sudden, enormous lump in her throat, Sean pushed back his chair and stood. He came around the table to her side and took one of her hands in his.

  “You’ll have to help me get up again,” he said.

  “Wha—” Grace’s question hung unfinished in the air as Sean lowered himself stiffly to one knee and she stared at him in astonishment. All around them, conversations drifted into silence as the curious eyes of the other patrons turned to watch the scene unfolding in their midst.

  “Grace Daniels,” he said, his voice husky and his gaze steady, “I love you with all my heart and soul, and I love your family—our family. I want to share your laughter and your tears. I want to be the shoulder you can lean on whenever you need it and the arms that hold you through good and bad. I want to raise our kids with you, I want to fall asleep looking at you every night, and I want to grow old and wrinkly and saggy at your side. I want, Grace Daniels, to be your partner. For life.”

  Speechless, Grace could do nothing but watch as he released her hand and withdrew a small box from his jacket pocket. He opened the box, and the deep, intense green light of an emerald blinked at her. Her favorite stone. He’d remembered. And he was asking—

  “Marry me,” he said. “Grow old with me. Laugh with me. Live with me. Love me as I love you, darling Grace, and please, please say you’ll be my wife.”

  Her mouth flapped. She stared at the ring. Stared at Sean. Stared at the ring again. A distant part of her realized the entire restaurant held its collective breath, waiting for her response.

  Answer him, you idiot! her inner voice ordered. Tell him that you would love nothing better. Say yes, damn it!

  Grace raised her gaze to Sean’s once more. She opened her mouth to speak.

  “I’m pregnant,” she said.

  Chapter 6

  Utter silence met Grace’s words. Conversations still buzzed further off in the restaurant, where patrons weren’t privy to the unfolding drama, but in the immediate vicinity, one could have heard the proverbial pin drop. Grace was pretty sure everyone around them held their breath.

  She certainly held hers.

  And held it.

  And held it.

  And—

  Sean cleared his throat. “So,” he said. “Is that a yes, then?”

  The air left Grace’s lungs in a whoosh. She stared at the man still on one knee before her, hope and elation tangling in her throat. “You’re sure?” she whispered past the lump they formed.

  “You heard the part about how much I love you, right?” A teasing light danced in his eyes, then his expression turned serious again. “I’m sure,” he said. “I’ve never been more sure.”

  Powered by sheer relief, Grace launched herself into Sean’s arms, nearly knocking them both to the floor. Applause erupted around them, amid cries of “Congratulations!” in English and “Felicitations!” in French. But the noise faded into the background as Sean held her close.

  “I’m sure, too,” she whispered against the steady beat of his heart.

  He buried his face in her hair, his breath warm against her neck. His chest rumbled with a chuckle. “Good. And now that we’ve established that and given all these people something to talk about for the rest of the evening, what say we skip desser
t and go share the news?”

  “The getting married news, or—the other?” She couldn’t quite bring herself to say the word pregnant again quite so soon. This would take some getting used to.

  “I’m up for both. You?”

  “I would have liked to keep the” —nope, still couldn’t say it— “other thing to ourselves for a while, but Gwyn already knows.”

  “You told her...?”

  Before me? his drawn-out pause seemed to ask.

  Grace gave a snort. “Are you kidding me? This is Gwyn we’re talking about. She guessed.”

  He chuckled again. “I’m not surprised. That woman’s deductive powers are downright scary.”

  “She says it comes with motherhoo—” Gwyn cut the word short. Motherhood. She drew back to stare at Sean with no small amount of panic. “I’m going to be a mother.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “More than you already are with four kids in the family?”

  Guilt held silent the part of Grace that wanted to tell him that she was afraid it wouldn’t be the same thing. That this would be different. That she would feel an attachment to the unborn life in her belly that she didn’t feel for the others. And that, somehow, they would know and—

  “You okay?” Sean asked.

  She gave herself a fierce mental shake, thrusting away the negative thoughts until she could examine them later. She’d just gotten engaged, for heaven’s sake. To the father of her—oh, hell. There she went again. With more determination than finesse, she clambered to her feet and reached down to help Sean up.

  “I’m fine,” she lied. “And you’re right. We should go tell the others.”

  Sean, however, didn’t seem inclined to stand just yet, reaching instead for her left hand. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” The ring Grace had all but forgotten about slid into place, its emerald light softly winking at her as another smattering of applause broke out at the nearby tables. “There,” he said, with no small amount of satisfaction. “Now we’re official.”

  Officially engaged. Officially pregnant. Officially terrified. Grace helped Sean stand and returned his kiss.