Autumn in the City of Lights

by Kirby Howell

  “Mid-sixties,” Margery said. “White hair, blue eyes, one crooked front tooth.” She smiled remembering his face. “And he was very kind. We were lucky to have him. And I’m grateful to have had him as a mentor.”

  Not Karl. There’s no way he could be mistaken for a sixty-something man with white hair. Also, she would have noticed Karl at the airport earlier. But Grey and I had seen white flags and a French sign announcing the Reconstruction Front here some months ago. Karl had to have been part of this. Maybe Claude had been his right hand. But he was gone now. I suddenly remembered a man named Arnett back at the Warehouse Store in Marina del Rey, who desperately wanted to go with Grey and me to find his sister after he realized what kind of organization The Front really was. Could Claude and the people of Paris have defied Karl and driven him out? Or was Claude removed by Karl?

  I wanted to continue to ask Margery about their Reconstruction Front, but she broke off and pointed our attention to a perfectly manicured lawn. Beyond it, the Palace of Versailles was lit like a glowing beehive. I took a sharp breath of air, marveling at its beauty. It was even more stunning now than the night Grey and I saw it.

  “Are we staying at the Palace?” I asked.

  “Indeed. It was made to host dignitaries and royals from afar. I think it only right that we use it for the Summit.”

  The parade of cars came to a stop, and we gathered in front of the grand palatial estate. I vaguely remembered visiting it on a tour with my father. He was an architect and had gone on and on about the gabled roofs and stone facades. Meanwhile, I’d been obsessed with how uncomfortable King Louis the XIV’s bed had looked.

  “Allow me to welcome you all to the Palace of Versailles,” Margery said over the small crowd. "Please follow me.” She escorted us inside, walking as if she were a model on a pre-plague Parisian runway across the black and white marble tile paving the entry way.

  Just inside, a wait staff stood by, ready to receive us. I’d grown up in some luxury, but nothing like this. The opulence of the inside corridor was jaw-dropping. The ceiling was adorned with a fresco painting, and every other surface appeared to be gilded in gold.

  “Our staff will show you to your quarters, where you can all rest before the Summit officially begins this evening. You will find a schedule of events in your rooms and a map of the palace so you don’t get lost.” Margery’s eyes twinkled as she said this. “You will also find food and drink to refresh yourself.”

  She bid us goodbye, and the staff escorted us in different directions. I walked through no fewer than five marble and gold-adorned hallways and up two staircases, until I was shown into my room. Grey’s room was next to mine, and Shad and Daniel were both across the hall. As Grey gave me a small smile and disappeared into his room, I saw Karl just down the hall, entering his own room. I frowned, wondering if I would be able to sleep with Karl so close by.

  My bags were already waiting for me. The room was small but lavish, with a four-poster queen-sized bed smothered in decorative pillows. Across from the bed was an intricately designed vanity and a heavy mahogany dresser.

  By far, the most impressive thing in the room was the enormous window, winged by blue velvet curtains. I dropped my backpack on the floor and went to take in the view of the gardens, which stretched for what seemed like forever beyond the lights of the palace. Everything was flawless, the greens clipped into submission and the marble polished to a high sheen.

  “Beautiful, isn’t it?” Grey said softly in my ear, and his arms slid around me, pulling me back against his warm chest. “But not nearly as beautiful as what I’m looking at right in front of me.”

  Relieved I wasn’t alone in this enormous place, I turned and hugged him.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” He tightened his arms around me and bent to touch his lips to my forehead.

  “What am I doing here?” I asked, my voice muffled against his old blue sweater.

  “It’s all been coming to this.”

  “I’ve never felt so out of place in my life,” I confessed.

  “I guarantee you’re not the only one feeling this way,” he said, pulling me just far enough away from him so he could look into my eyes. “This is what politicians call, ‘the home court advantage.’ You invite people in and show them your grandeur, making them feel small. It immediately puts you on the offensive. But you remember what Daniel said?”

  “Fake it, like every other politician. If you pretend to belong, and believe what you say is important, they will believe you belong, and what you say is worth listening to.”

  Grey nodded. “It’s good advice.”

  “Reminds me of acting,” I mumbled, the weight of actually being here still pressing down on me. “My mom would have been so proud of me.”

  “You can do this.”

  I hugged him. “Grey,” I asked, unsure if this was the right time to talk about it. “Are you okay? I mean, I know you’ve been stressed out trying to find a cure for the newborns, and after what happened with the guys from the oil rig, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Dealing with all this has to be hard for you...” I suddenly ran out of words.

  “I’m okay,” he whispered. “I’m sorry for being so upset before.” He paused to walk to the bed and sat down. “Being connected to my emotions again is difficult for me sometimes. Especially in moments of panic or grief. I saw so many die of The Plague before. Seeing those men develop symptoms took me right back to those days at UCLA. Right back to that time of helplessness.” His shoulders sagged, and he ran his hands through his hair. “There was nothing I could do to ease their pain, yet again. And it scared me. For their sakes, and also for Connie’s baby. I’m terrified I won’t be able to save it, Autumn. Absolutely terrified. Sometimes I think about distancing myself from my feelings again, just for that clarity of mind... but then I worry that if I do, I might mess things up between us. I don’t want to jeopardize that.” He lowered his head and picked at a loose thread on his sweater.

  “You’re afraid you might not love me?” I asked.

  “Not that exactly, but that the depth of our connection might diminish. And I wouldn’t want to do that to you. I love you far too much.” His eyes were a burning blue when he looked back up at me.

  I took a moment before responding, allowing myself to consider this notion. “If you did cut yourself off from your emotions again, could you arrive at a cure faster?”

  “Possibly. I don’t know. There’s really no way to tell.”

  “Connie’s baby is due soon,” I reminded.

  “There is a time limit on what needs to be done, for sure.”

  I waited for a long time to reply, thinking about Connie and Daniel and their new baby. I wondered if she’d have another little boy. She’d had three with her pre-plague husband. And she’d watched them all die. I couldn’t do that to her again. It would crush her.

  “Do it,” I said, plainly.

  “Autumn, no —”

  I interrupted him. “If there’s even a small chance it will help you save Connie and Daniel’s baby, you have to do it.”

  It wasn’t hard to read the shock written on Grey’s face. He was still for a moment, staring at me with sad, tired eyes.

  “Do you really want me to?”

  “Yes,” I lied, then paused to suck in a breath for the next part. “And, if it helps, I’ll keep my distance for a while. If it’ll help you stay focused.”

  He grimaced. “I don’t think —”

  I rushed ahead. “I know it would help. You have to do it. Just not yet. Not tonight. Not while we’re in Paris. But as soon as we’re back.” I sat down on the bed next to him and leaned my head on his shoulder to hide the tears gathering in my eyes. I fought to keep my voice steady. “I’ll wait for you, as long as you promise to come back to me, and pick up right where you left off.”

  “I promise,” he said quietly.

  “I know you’ll figure this out, Grey. I know it. I believe in you. That child is going to be the first of many i
n this brave new world.”

  “Believing in me is one thing. Finding a medical breakthrough is quite another. I honestly don’t know if I can do this in a lifetime, much less a month.”

  “You will.”

  “I had a thought while we were on the plane ride here. I’m not sure if I dreamt it, or if I was just half asleep, mind wondering. But I’ve been so busy trying to reverse engineer this cure that I never considered a work around.”

  “Like what?” I asked.

  “The one thing we know will cure the Crimson Fever. The E-Vitamin.”

  “We looked all over for it back in Hoover,” I reminded him.

  “And if we’d found it, we would have given it to the baby. But what I’m saying is, I’m having no luck creating an anti-virus. I’ve tried everything I know. So maybe it’s time I start focusing on just creating the E-Vitamin instead. Who knows, it’s possible it’s the only cure.”

  “Like the other side of the same coin?” I asked. “One capable of perfect destruction and one capable of infinite life?”

  Grey looked at me a moment. I could tell he was impressed. “You’ve really gotten quite good at your rhetoric, Fòmhair.”

  “I try.” I grinned widely at him. “So it’s that easy, then? Just create the E-Vitamin when you get back?”

  Grey stifled a laugh. “It took my mentor more than fifty years to perfect the E-Vitamin.”

  “Oh,” was all I could think to say.

  “But there’s at least a chance. I’m farther along than when he began, and extremely motivated.”

  I felt his arm slip around my waist as I continued. “I don’t have any doubts everything will work out. I love you.”

  He took my face in his hands and wiped the tear tracks from my cheeks. His own eyes were bright with tears. “How did I ever deserve this?” he whispered.

  “You’re hot, and you’re a good kisser,” I said as seriously as I could.

  A slow smile spread across his face just as the rising sun began to light the room around us.

  “Will you stay here? All night? Or... all day?”

  He bent forward and kissed me deeply. “All day,” he said.

  * * *

  I woke up in Grey’s arms, and for a moment, the orange light confused me. I felt like we’d been asleep for hours, but it still looked like morning. Then I realized it was evening and the sun was setting. When I moved to check the time on the bedside table, Grey sighed.

  “Did I wake you?” I whispered.

  “It’s okay. I need to slip back to my room anyway and change before the Summit. Will you be okay?”

  “Yeah,” I said but snuggled myself back under his arm.

  “Maybe I should get my stuff and bring it here. I don’t like leaving you alone with Karl just down the hall.”

  “I think that might be a good idea,” I said. I didn’t want to be alone either. When other people were around, at least Karl had to pretend to be a regular guy instead of an alien bent on destruction. Here, he knew where I was, and could just project into my room and take me away any time he wanted with no witnesses. Besides, I wanted to spend as much time as possible with Grey if he was going to start shutting away his emotions as soon as we returned home.

  We both got ready for the Summit in our own rooms, and then Grey came back to wait with me. Before long, a neatly dressed liaison arrived and escorted us into a magnificent room called the Hall of Mirrors. I remembered the room from the tour I took with my dad. As a child, I was struck by the golden hue and sparkly surfaces, and it made no less of an impression now. Large windows allowed the evening light to spill in and reflect in the mirrors, making every gold accent shine and the glossy wooden floors glow.

  “Look up,” Grey whispered.

  Overhead were lavish murals that reminded me of the ones in the Sistine Chapel. “Is that supposed to be God?” I whispered back, nodding to the main figure overhead. I saw the same figure represented on a few of the other murals overhead as well.

  Grey chuckled. “No, that’s supposed to be King Louis XIV. Most of the murals around this time depicted gods, but Louis decided to show off himself and his military prowess instead.”

  I looked at Grey with my eyebrows raised. “Men,” I said. “A woman would never do this.”

  A large rectangular table sat in front of an equally large fireplace. The chairs around it were almost full of delegates, many of whom I hadn’t met yet. All in all, it looked like nearly a hundred settlements were represented. Extra chairs lined the walls of the room, and I realized Grey, Daniel and Shad would have to sit in those, several feet away from me. Grey gave my hand a squeeze, and I walked the rest of the way to the main table alone. I pulled out an empty chair and sat down, feeling small.

  Despite so many people being in it, the room became very quiet. I took Ben’s journal, a ballpoint pen, and another blank notebook out of my backpack and stacked them on my lap. I felt like I was back in school, waiting for a new class to begin. A class in which the teacher would put me on the spot immediately. I swallowed and fidgeted, and then the pen slipped through my sweaty palms and clattered to the polished wooden floor. A few pairs of eyes glanced toward me, and I tried to smile. I eased my chair back, trying to minimize the inevitable skronk of the chair legs scooting across the floor. I ducked under the table and fished out my pen, then straightened and smoothed my hair.

  The sharp clip clop of heels on wood echoed suddenly through the hall, and we all turned gratefully toward Margery.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, my apologies,” she said as she approached the table in another perfectly tailored suit. “The Summit will not be starting as planned this evening. The delegates from Japan, Brazil and Queensland have not yet arrived. As a courtesy, we are pushing the schedule to allow them a little more time to travel to us.”

  I let out a slow breath, trying not to show how relieved I was.

  “I hope you will forgive us for the delay,” Margery continued. “As I’m sure you are all aware, travel can be perilous these days. Be assured, we will not delay indefinitely. If we have no word by tomorrow morning, we will begin without them.” She smiled graciously and gestured through the window to the sprawling gardens lit by twilight. “I invite you to enjoy the gardens or tour the palace this evening.”

  My thoughts immediately went to the other delegates. I knew some would be crossing oceans and wondered if they had planes like we did, or if they’d had to set sail. Some would have had to start toward Paris weeks or even months ahead of time to make it to the Summit. And getting home would be just as complicated for them. I was suddenly grateful for how easy and short my own trip had been. And getting home would be just as easy, I hoped — as long as Paris kept their word and refueled our jet.

  “Thank you for the update, Ms. Durand,” Karl said. “Will we be sending aid, should the delegates not check in soon?”

  “That is the plan, yes. Though it may take some time to track them down if we don’t hear from them.”

  “I offer my assistance, should the need arise,” Karl said.

  “I am grateful for your offer. I hope it won’t be necessary.”

  A few minutes later, Grey and I were strolling through the lavish gardens. It was a feast for the eyes, but I couldn’t see it through the worry in my heart. My stomach grew tight again at the prospect of the Summit starting tomorrow morning.

  “I was so relieved when Margery came in and said they were postponing, but I also hate coming all this way to sit around and wait,” I confessed. “Karl is too close, and I just want this all to be over with, whatever the outcome.”

  Grey took my hand in his. “Try not to let your emotions get the better of you here. The more time we have before the talks, the longer you have to acquaint yourself with the delegates and consider your political options. I think this is actually a good thing.”

  I sighed. “How were you ever able to disconnect yourself from feeling? I mean, philosophically, I get it. But it feels involuntary to experience the dread
and, well... nausea inside me right now.”

  Grey smiled, and I could tell he held back a laugh. “Well, first off, don’t throw up. Second, I can help you manage your emotions, if you really want me to, but it’s not something that can be mastered in a day. It took me years of training.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t want to master it altogether,” I confessed. “I don’t want to be like Lydia.”

  “No, of course not. And I wouldn’t want you to be either.”

  Grey stopped as we passed one of the many fountains, and we sat down on a nearby bench.

  “Let’s start with something simple. Breathing. Did you know that if you can learn to control your breathing, you can actually lower or raise your blood pressure at will?”

  My eyes widened. “You can teach me to do that?”

  “Well, over time, yes. But for now, let’s try a simple breathing technique. Close your eyes,” he instructed. “Now I want you to try and forget about everything going on right now, where you are, what you need to do, and only think about breathing in and out.”

  I tried to do what he said but had a hard time letting go of everything going on.

  “If you feel your mind wandering, focus on a single word and repeat it over and over again,” he said.

  The word home suddenly occurred to me. So I said it over and over again... and then I starting thinking about Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, and how there was no place like home.

  “Open your eyes,” Grey whispered. “Do you feel calmer?”

  “Well, I’m not sure if it worked the way it was supposed to, but I do feel calmer, for sure.” I smiled, deciding not to tell him how my mind had wandered.

  We stayed in the garden until it was full dark. Daniel and Shad were there when we returned, and they joined us in my room. I passed around Ben’s notebook, and we began discussing all the little details we’d picked up about the other delegates so far.

  “I knew you guys talked on the radio, but I didn’t realize Ben was being so thorough,” Daniel said, leafing through the notebook.