Breathless (The Breathe Series Book 1)

by Christy Johnson

  We sit side by side on the rickety black bench where we had our first conversation. I watch the trees again like I had the first time. Their burgundy red and dull orange trunks lie planted deep into the ground, the branches and leaves dance in the wind just as they always had. The sky blanketed with pure darkness with stars so bright, a few of them could be mistaken for the sun. Other planets still orbiting Jeshyria.

  “I’m serious, Riley. What if it could all end tonight? The suffering, the pain, the struggling. I wish it all could just go away.”

  “What’s wrong Nora?” He says sliding the box of pizza away from us.

  “Something is wrong.” My head pounds and my heart flutters. I gaze ominously.

  “But what?”

  “I—I don’t know. I just feel it.” I clutch my hand to my chest showing that my heart is prepared for the break. “I think you’re supposed to die.” I lower my head, afraid to face him but he had to know. “Stephanie told me that my dreams are visions and I see your death so much, it takes my breath away. I would die with you.”

  He sighs. “I know.”

  Astonished, I gape at him. “What do you know?”

  “I’ve known for a while now.” He looks down to study his shaking hands. “I’ve been cursed to die for you.”

  “What? What does that mean?”

  “You are special Nora. You are Chosen and not only that, you are the only Chosen who can save the universe.”

  “Save it from what!? Supernova?” I shout, pointing to the burning star that grew brighter by the second. “All of these questions I keep asking but no one has the answers.”

  “No. From Luke and Devin. They are the great evils in this universe and they may not seem like they are a huge threat but Nora, they’ve destroyed 6 planets already. This one is the last and if you fall victim, who will save us?”

  “But how can I save anyone? I can only time travel and–”

  “As of now,” he interjects, “I have to die in order for you to gain all of your powers. You’ve wondered about your tattoo and why it’s unfinished, right? Well, you’re a masterpiece in the making and I am holding you back from being completed.”

  “But how!?” I’m looking into him with remorse, wanting to stay in this moment forever just to hold him for as long as I can.

  “Because you love me. You love me more than life itself. More than your own life.” He breathes in deeply bracing himself to face me. “Your mom cursed me…” He doesn’t meet my gaze or notice the perforated look of confusion on my face, “… because I, so selfishly, couldn’t stay away from you.”

  “Wh–” I stop myself from speaking, remembering that that woman wasn’t my mother—my mother was dead. “Oh, no.” I whisper.

  “What?”

  “No. no. no. no.” I stand to my feet pacing the sidewalk. “We have to change this! We have to fix it! We–”

  “Nora?”

  “No! We can’t let this happen. I can’t lose you. No. I can’t–” I lose my breath, hyperventilating. “I lose you every night in my dreams. I relive your death over and over and over again!”

  “Nora!” He stands to shake my shoulders but I just continue.

  “How am I supposed to get through this!? What am I supposed to do!?” I sob.

  “NORA!”

  “WHAT!? There’s nothing left for me without you.” I lean my head to one side and allow my face to twist with sadness and worry.

  “I have to die. I am the bane of sacrifice. If I don’t die, everyone else will including you and I can’t be selfish. You’ve died for me before now let me die for you.” He smiles.

  “No! Let me be selfish. I didn’t ask for this! I don’t want this! TAKE IT BACK!” I look up at the sky, begging the Creator to reverse the curse and to take these powers. “I don’t want it!” My voice cracks with pain. Tears unwillingly show themselves, rolling back to touch the soles of my ears as I’m looking up towards the sky.

  “Nora, you can’t give back who you are.” His soothing voice cools my soul. I look back to him with those same painful, tear flooding eyes. “If I don’t die by this cursed heart, I will die from something else. It’s fate. Look.” He lifts his shirt and for the first time, I see his estranged tattoo. To my surprise, it’s a butterfly but the wings of it are shading rapidly. I squint to make out the anomalous etchings. I gasp with dread when I notice that the wings held skulls in the midst of them. They weren’t fully shaded yet but the longer we stood here wasting time, the closer the skulls inched to the top. We were running out of time. “I’ve learned to deal with the pain of it. That’s the only way I’m able to be near you.”

  “But I don’t understand. Butterflies mean life—they mean you should still live! You shouldn’t die.”

  “But the skulls are the death taking over me.” He smiles humbly. “It will all be worth it… for you.”

  “Don’t you dare say that! Nothing is worth your life—not even me.”

  “But you are worth everything to me.” I fall to my knees, weeping for him to abort the mission, my eyes pleading.

  “Stay with me.” I say as he drops to his knees to face me.

  “I am at peace and I believe in you, Nora.”

  “But I just got you back.” I study him for the last time, his perfected mouth, green eyes, and button nose. Perfection could never compare to him, he was beyond that. He doesn’t wait for my signal, my permission; he just sucks me into him allowing our lips to meet finally after all of these years. His tattoo shades in sooner with each beat his heart takes as it’s beating out of control with us being interwoven.

  I await the breath we would take in between the kiss but deeply regretting the departure of our intertwined lips—hearts. I would give my last breath for you.

  His lips part from mine. “But I won’t let you.”

  My eyes widen with surprise. “You heard that?”

  He smiles graciously, “I will always love you, Nora beyond the moon, the stars, this screwed up universe. I will always love you beyond eternity and I will meet you again in the next lifetime. This is only the beginning.” He stands and I stand with him refusing to let him go. If I could just hold him a while longer—If I could just keep him safe from himself. I could save him, I knew I could. I hold his hands tightly into mine as he tries to pull away. “I have to go.”

  “But I need you.” Tears streaming, showing my weakness which will always be him.

  “And one day, you will have me.” He says. “It’s time.” He winces as the skulls etch nearer to the top of the butterfly.

  The star brightens and burns harder until it explodes. We both look up to face the destruction of the fallen pieces. Raining fire. He smiles hoping we would meet again.

  “But I love you.” Burning flames still casting down around us brightening up the night.

  He backs away from me. “I know.” He says, “I love you more.” I cover my face, falling to the ground to shield myself from the flames that were still raining down on us both. His face twists in pain as his heart stops. The skulls fill to the top of his butterfly. His face pales itself as he’s losing life. He grabs at his chest, jolting in pain as his body fades out, dwindling down to dust.

  Time falls as I struggle to rush to my feet to run to him as fast as I could but when I reach him, he’s already gone. He leaves me here alone. I screech out in pain, holding my hands over his ashes desperately wanting to heal him, wanting to join his body whole again but my hands wouldn’t glow for him. They wouldn’t bring him back to me. I clutch my hands to my chest, feeling emasculated. “Come back to me,” I whisper. “Please, come back. I need you.”

  This is only the beginning. His words snuggle into my brain.

  30 the better part of me

  I open my eyes to the same ceiling I had always hated staring at, the same ceiling I stared into as a child when it was time for bed. That same bellowing white ceiling that Devin now lived under. An impudent pang weighs me down, strapping me to the bed. I knew exactly where I was. Th
at presumptuous feeling of paralysis creeps back into my soul, not letting me move or breathe. I fear, this time, I won’t overcome this.

  “Hello, Nora. I’m glad you could make it back.” Devin’s grinning down at me viciously. My breath caught, my eyes closing with force. I want this trance to be over.

  “Surgere.” He snaps his fingers, lifting the paralysis from me. I breathe in, permitting the air to dance around in my lungs, filling them with satisfaction to be alive. “You’re welcome.” He gleams sarcastically.

  “I didn’t ask for your help.” I retaliate.

  “Well, until you learn to control your magic, it will always consume you, eventually killing you so yea, you needed my help.” I sit up to face him, “So, let me try that again, I’m glad you could make it back to me.”

  I smirk. “I went nowhere. Apparently, that lop-sided woman brought me here to you.” I say.

  “Oh no, you actually did go somewhere. You forgot that you could time travel, huh?” He laughs.

  I squint, “What are you talking about?” trying to make sense of the confusion. He wasn’t supposed to know how hard it’s been to correlate between reality and my fantasy. I didn’t know what was real anymore.

  He laughs again but harder this time, mocking me, “Oh did you think that was just a dream!?” He reals his head backwards, clutching his gut and laughing obnoxiously again.

  “How is any of this funny? Seriously, your laugh is annoying.” I say, convinced that it was all just a dream. Riley isn’t dead. He can’t be!

  “So you’re trying to pretend like that didn’t just happen? Like it was all in your head?” He says, pointing to a hole in the wall. My heart drops. I wasn’t ready to face the inevitable truth—that hole was from me and if I had new powers, that meant Riley was really dead. The bane of sacrifice.

  “What does that supposed to mean for me? How do I know you didn’t do that?” I grunge at him, allowing denial to consume me.

  And with one statement, he ends my life, confirming my fear, “You gained all of your powers.”

  “Wh—what?” I say looking down at my hands. “You’re lying.” Tears form.

  “See for yourself.” He backs away, urging me to use the wall to test his theory.

  “But I don’t know how to use them.” My voice squeaks as I try to hold back the tears, looking down at my hands.

  He comes in closer to me, kneeling down beside of me to speak into my ear, “Feel your heart break. Feel all the hate you have for Colleen, for me, for Riley leaving you. Luke—Let it all in. Become your pain—you have nothing left, Nora. You are nothing.” He sneers as I envision the death of my father, how he squirmed under the cold hand of Luke. How Devin compelled me to forget Riley, tricking me into loving him, giving myself to him. How Colleen killed my mother and took her body over. How Mairi betrayed me. How Riley left me—

  “He didn’t wait for me to save him! He didn’t wait for me! I hate him!” I sob, looking to the ceiling, secretly wanting to beg for him to appear here again. “Please, take this pain away!” I beg the Creator, instead. After all, he caused it all.

  “That’s it, feel it. Let it devour you, strip you. Become your pain.”

  I stare at the wall, unable to control my anger, hurt, hope for another life. My eyes blacken with pain and my veins protrude through my skin. Evil takes over me—devouring me. I lift my hands and scream out in passion for pain and fury for it, too. The blood brews in my veins, the pain burrowing its way into my heart, darkening it. Burning lights eject from my hands blasting through the wall, penetrating through into the next room. I destroy the entire wall, knocking it down, destroying the bathroom next. I scream with more hate and regret. I release it all.

  “That’s it.” He grins. “Release it all.”

  I continue to allow my new power to dance around the room until it reaches Devin, frightening him. “Easy, Nora. Control yourself.” He backs away from me as I’m standing now and walking towards him with my hands pointed in his direction, ready to ignite the fire I feel burning through my veins. “You need me. I can help you control it. I can help you rule Jeshyria. Let me help you.” He pleads.

  “Goodbye, Devin.” I ignite the fireball, burning in my palms, releasing its fury once more but before the fire could seep into Devin’s body, he vanishes from my sight. I drop to my knees allowing the memories to swarm in, closing my eyes.

  *****

  “I’m Riley.” His hand dangles out in front of me.

  “Girlfriend?” I say trying to find the girl who was just sitting next to him.

  “Nice to meet you, Girlfriend.” His smile displays perfection as I try to mask my own, lowering my head from him.

  “Draw a circle around the one you love instead of a heart because a heart can break but a circle goes on forever just like us.” His voice bleeds through me.

  “Just like us…” I whisper.

  “Come here.” He grabs me just before my foot could step out of the door’s threshold. I bite my bottom lip in between the smiles and giggles. I feel my heart pound against the inside of my rib cage as he spins me around to face him. My breathing speeds as he wraps his arms around me tightly. One hand on the back of my head, smoothing out my hair and the other hand in the small of my back. My eyes closed and I’m smiling. I open my eyes slowly to see him staring into the mirror next to us. In his eyes, I see his thoughts, feelings; his love for me. He’s picturing a family; I’m his wife, the mother of his children, his everything and from one look on his face, I can see our future. I stop smiling to study his green eyes but he doesn’t stop staring at us. His thoughts don’t slow down; I see our life from this moment until the day we both die. I see the fights, the makeups, the trips, the children, our happiness. I see it all until he breaks the trance pulling me away from his chest to look into my eyes.

  “Goodbye, Nora.” He says bitter-sweetly.

  “Goodbye Riley.”

  I open my eyes, feeling the agony flood in. I pound my hand flat onto my chest trying to breathe through this… get through this. Breathe, Nora. Pull in, let out. Breathe—

  “I can’t breathe without him.” I cry serenely. “Please! No! Please!” I screech with my face stretching towards the heavens. “Bring him back. Bring them all back!” I sob uncompromisingly, allowing my face to smack the cold floor, eyes closed, tears accompanying me. My chest deflating as I lie there, still consenting the darkness to envelop me, blanketing my pure slate with malevolence. Revenge becomes me, burrowing into my soul, strangling what good of me I had left. I become dependent on the darkness to save me.

  I sit up from the floor, knees planted into it and shout to the sky. My voice screeching, unlocking unknown powers. That same mystical jolt releases from me disintegrating the house, each piece falling down onto me, crushing me with the vision of Devin still embedded into my eyesight. I was prepared to kill him.

  *****

  I take a step back from the podium to see the sarcophagus resting at the back of the auditorium. No one has seen inside of it, yet, the entire congregation was filling with giggles and proudness of me. Their heads still dropped just as before—just as they were the last time I was here. There were still no traces of tousled hair; only thing I could see are their mouths, smirking at me. Their hats circular, stretching out from all sides about 8 inches from their heads. Their dresses long and black, the excess of them were lying humbly by their sides, reaching down to the floor, as they continue to sit in place, heads still dropped.

  “So, you’ve made your way back, I see.” She says. I assume she was the leader from the last encounter we had.

  I smirk at her, lifting my left brow as she lifts her blank face to gaze into me with those same piercing, black eyes. The only thing on her face were those eyes and that perpetuating mouth. “Mm.” I hum, closing my eyes.

  “Would you like to see what’s in the coffin?” She asks. I nod once, but this time I was ready for what was there—I was ready to give what would soon lie there. I walk down the three
steps at the side of the stage as she meets me at the bottom, with her long white fingers stretched out to me. I take her hand, allowing her to lead me. Each row of creatures stand but not fighting me this time. They stand, watching me pass them, nodding graciously. Their long fingers reaching out to me, still offering all my heart’s desire as they bow to me.

  “I knew you would be ready eventually. The offer still stands, the heart stopping, earth shattering… love. This dark power will give you that love.” Her voice penetrating me. I don’t speak, I continue to walk through the isle next to her, contemplating her offer.

  “What do you want in return?” I finally ask. Her mouth twist into an evil smile. Everyone from the last three rows stand and walk out into the isle, facing me and her. Their arms rested by their sides, watching us as we stride closer to them.

  “We want you. The better part of you.” Her voice blackening my soul, darker than the black it had already become, so harmoniously. I look behind me to see whirlwinds form as the things behind me gather, waiting for me to succumb. Their mouths stretch open wide, wailing. The dark blue walls close in on us as the screeching grows louder. I look to the front of me again to see black eyes staring me down. Eyes so black that no white existed in them. No pureness. Nothing. Just space black that now, I admire, wishing mine were the same.

  “So, this is what you want?” The leader gleams down at me with those same piercing black eyes, making my toes curl.

  “I need this.” I say.

  Their line parts, approving me to walk through them. I slip my hand away from hers, approaching the coffin to see nothing.

  “Ready?” Her breath chilling my spine, cautioning me for what was yet to come.

  “I am.” I respond to her, drawing my head back. I hear her nails clank together as she lifts her hand up, parting her fingers. The other creatures around me wrap their long fingers tightly around my long, silky black hair, yanking my head back even further. She walks around to face me. There was still something ominous about her that I loved—lusted after. The darkness that consumed her is longing out to me, whispering to my inner demon to be released. She places her long extremities onto my chest and I gasp deeply as she sinks her black coated, long nails into me, pulling out my soul—the better part of me, leaving me soulless.