Loving Daniel (MC Securities Book 3)

by Ruby Moone

  “Then, with Kenneth dead, he’s not likely to ever find out. Isn’t it best that some things are left in the past?”

  He looked at her. “You mean say nothing?”

  “I mean, stop being so hard on yourself again. You cannot take responsibility for everything your father did. Look where that got you last time.”

  He closed his eyes and sighed. “It feels wrong.”

  “Then tell him.” She dropped a kiss on his hand and let go. “You have as much entitlement to happiness as anyone. I think you could be happy with Christian.”

  Daniel smiled sadly at her. “He says I’m like a raincloud.”

  She tilted her head. “That’s because you’re carrying the past around with you. Let it go. Let the sun shine on you for a while. You’ve earned it.

  30

  Christian pulled his bedroom door closed as he headed for dinner. He’d only changed his T-shirt for a white linen shirt, leaving his board shorts and flip flops on. It was too hot for anything else. He could hear voices from the main room, Daniel’s soft rumble seemed to underscore the noise. He paused and pulled in a deep breath. He needed to get his head together. He’d pushed and pushed, and today, while he’d been happy to fool around a little on the poolside, Daniel had made it clear he didn’t want more. He felt like he was getting mixed signals. Daniel had agreed to come out to Greece as a couple, but then, he’d been clear that he didn’t want to share a room. Said he was the one who needed space. Christian understood. He wasn’t stupid. He really needed to stop pushing.

  He headed for the lounge feeling flat. Daniel had shared a little with him, but when it came to anything approaching a relationship, he’d withdrawn. Christian had drawn his own conclusions about that. The conclusion he’d drawn was that despite evidence to the contrary, Daniel hadn’t been as head over heels in love as Christian had. And again, despite evidence to the contrary, Daniel wasn’t as hooked on him as Christian was hooked on Daniel. It made him feel foolish.

  The voices grew louder as he arrived at the lounge. The way things were going, he was heading for more heartache. Alarm bells sounded softly but clearly. Belated, admittedly, but there were there now. It was hard to ignore them.

  He smiled and accepted a glass from Tassos who was circulating anxiously about the room with Daniel’s mother looking on carefully. Christian stood next to Asher.

  “Did you get a good look around?”

  Asher nodded. “Yes. We need to be conscious of our position. The villa is visible from the road above us, but only the bottom end of the pool and the path to the road. We might be better staying up at the house side.”

  Christian nodded and took a sip of his drink. It was lovely, he wasn’t sure what it was, but it was non-alcoholic and had something minty in it. “Good plan.” He hesitated. “Do you expect someone to follow us here? Bryce?”

  Asher shook his head. “No. Not really, but it pays to be careful and I wouldn’t put anything past him. There is a perimeter fence around the complex,” he added.

  Christian nodded. He was nothing if not thorough.

  Daniel and his mother came to stand with Asher and Christian and they talked about nothing until Tassos announced that dinner was ready. The four of them settled down, and as the food arrived the conversation flowed, and Christian relaxed a little. Daniel was more himself. He talked, ate, smiled even, and it was lovely. Something Christian had dreamed of for years. Daniel’s gaze was never far from his, he seemed to make more of an effort to talk to him as though the disagreement had perhaps upset him.

  Or maybe not. Christian was generally confident. In himself, in his work, in his relationships. He hated feeling hesitant. Hated feeling unsure. Hated that it was Daniel making him unsure. He took a deep breath and shook himself.

  “You okay?” Daniel asked quietly.

  “Yeah. Just feeling stupid about being pushy earlier.”

  “Don’t.” Daniel looked at his plate. “No need to.”

  They were interrupted by Tassos bringing in a plate of baclava. Christian’s mouth watered. It looked sensational. Honey soaked and nut encrusted deliciousness.

  “You must thank Yanni,” Daniel said. “The food has been fantastic.”

  Tassos beamed, and Daniel’s mother winked at him. “It’s been wonderful, hasn’t it?”

  They all agreed that Yanni had done a sterling job, and as they ate the dessert and sipped coffee in the warm, fragrant night air, and conversations stilled comfortably. Christian glanced at Daniel just as he looked over at him. They both smiled.

  “Well,” his mother said putting her napkin on the table. “I’m going to love you and leave you.” She smiled around at them. “I’m going to drive back to my house, but I’ll be around tomorrow. If you are planning on sightseeing, I can show you around.”

  “That would be perfect,” Daniel said, getting to his feet. “Let me walk you to your car. Would you like me to come with you?”

  Elena shook her head. “I’m fine. You boys get some rest.”

  Christian and Asher stayed in the lounge while Daniel took his mother to the car.

  “It’s good for him to have his mother back,” Asher said.

  Christian nodded. “It is. I’d no idea she was still alive.”

  “Neither had I until Kenneth died.”

  Christian nodded. Daniel was good at keeping secrets.

  Once Elena was safely dispatched, Asher had retired to his villa, and the crew had retreated to the apartments, Christian was left alone with Daniel. He got to his feet and they stood looking at each other awkwardly.

  “Look. I’m sorry about earlier.” Christian made himself look Daniel in the eye. “I’m being pushy and it’s not fair.” He gave him a small grin. “I’ve also had to come to terms with the fact that you might not be as hung up on me as I’m clearly hung up on you.” He hoped the grin held up.

  Daniel looked unsure. Uneasy. Undecided.

  “I know all the stuff that I said, but I’ll stay put in my room. Promise.” Christian’s chest hurt, but he kept the smile plastered on his face. He shrugged. “Let’s just chalk up after the funeral and by the pool up to old times sake.”

  Still nothing from Daniel. He started to feel really uncomfortable. He rubbed the back of his neck and nodded. “Right. Okay. I get it.” He nodded again. “See you in the morning.”

  He set off for his room, leaving Daniel standing in the middle of the lounge not speaking, not moving.

  Once in the sanctuary of his bedroom, Christian let out a long slow breath. This was going to kill him. He wasn’t sure how long he could spend cooped up with him if they were going to be ‘friends’ because how the fuck was that going to work? When they went back to the UK was that it? Would he never see him again? Would he walk out again?

  He slumped on the bed, propped his elbows on his knees and threaded his fingers through his hair. His chest ached, his cock ached, his head ached…

  He nearly jumped out of his skin when the door opened, and Daniel came in. He got to his feet and watched him warily.

  Daniel swallowed and moved closer to him.

  “Are you okay?” Christian asked, simply for something to say. Anything.

  He still didn’t speak.

  Christian moved away and put some distance between them. “Look. Do you think you could speak to me? I’m getting seriously mixed signals and it’s starting to fuck with my head.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

  “I’m sorry.” Daniel moved closer again and took hold of his hand. “I’m sorry. I’m being an arse. There’s so much going on in my head, I…” He pulled him closer and Christian let him enfold him into his arms. He wrapped his arms around him and sighed as Daniel buried his face in Christian’s neck.

  He held him tight. He’d always been hard to read. Always gave the impression that the emotion he allowed anyone to see was the tiniest tip of a monumental pit of fire burning deep inside him.

  “I’m just as hung up on you.” His words were muffled. Gruff. “I�
�d have thought that was plain to see.”

  “Nothing is plain with you.” He softened the words with a kiss to the side of his head.

  Daniel pulled back so he could look down at him. His eyes were hooded, guarded.

  “I want you. I want to sleep with you, stay with you, be with you…” He shrugged. “I’m trying to get my head together and do what’s right.”

  “Fair enough.” Christian looped his arms around Daniel’s neck. “Do you want to stay? No pressure. Just sleep together?”

  “In the same bed?” Daniel scowled.

  Christian nodded. “It’s not unheard of.”

  “Do you often just sleep with men?”

  Christian rolled his eyes. “No.”

  Daniel opened his mouth and shut it.

  “Are you trying to ask me how many men I’ve been with since we’ve been apart?”

  Daniel scowled. “How many?”

  “Enough. You?”

  “Not that many.”

  “Sure, looking like that?” Christian grinned and kissed him on the cheek.

  Daniel’s eyes widened. “What does that mean?”

  “Looking like you do? Every gay man’s walking wet dream?”

  He scowled and shook his head. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  Christian stopped smiling. He looked as though he meant it. “Well, you’re my walking wet dream. Are you staying or going?”

  Daniel was still scowling. “I’ll go and make sure everything is locked up.”

  “Okay, and after that…?”

  Daniel’s scowl didn’t lift. “I’ll come back.”

  Christian watched him go. He moved with such grace for a big man. He was stunning, but he genuinely didn’t seem to see it. He’d been like that as a kid. Christian moved quickly. He grabbed the condoms and lube from the bathroom and put them on the cabinet beside the bed. Just in case. He thought about stripping off but decided not to. The room was cool with the air con down low, so he kicked off the flip flops and lay back on the bed. Hands behind his head and waited.

  Twelve years ago, they’d fallen into each other’s arms like starved animals. Daniel had been pretty taciturn, he didn’t talk a lot to people, but it had been like discovering the other half of his soul. All he could remember was the heat of the sun, the smell of jasmine, the hum of bees, and the feeling of Daniel’s sweat-slicked body against his own as they lay on a blanket in the long grass, kissing and jerking each other off. His skin tingled at the memory. They’d been together for just four months, four months of clandestine meetings, frenzied sex, and for Christian, a love so profound his world had shattered and disintegrated beneath him when Daniel ended it. Losing his father had broken his heart. Losing Daniel and broken his spirit. It sounded dramatic, but it was true.

  Christian rubbed his stomach. He didn’t want to keep going back to the reasons why he’d walked out on him. He understood what he’d said about addiction, and when they were together, Daniel had never taken drugs, well, not to his knowledge, but he had been a big drinker. It didn’t seem likely that it was the booze that made him walk away. He’d said earlier he had been protecting him. That Kenneth had found out about the relationship. But they’d talked about coming out. Telling family and moving in together. Daniel had a job in Manchester, and they’d live in student digs and save up for something better. Had he broken up with him to protect him, not because he didn’t love him? They’d never used those words. Christian remembered one day when he’d started to say it, and Daniel had put a hand over his mouth, then kissed him with such gentleness, he’d allowed himself to believe it had been a declaration of love. How bloody young they’d been. How hopeful.

  Since then, nothing had ever come close to being with Daniel. Nothing at all. Not all the hook-ups, the attempts at relationships, dating, falling in love? Nowhere near. There was a big, burning, Daniel-shaped hole in his soul that nothing ever came near to filling.

  Footsteps sounded along the corridor. Christian tucked a hand under his head and wondered if he was being stupid in trying again. Particularly as Daniel seemed resistant to the whole notion. It was just that he had the oddest feeling that if he didn’t do something now, the chance would be forever lost. Over the years, he’d learned to trust his instincts. This chance at forging something with Daniel was worth taking. Despite the risks, even though it might all blow up in his face, the chance that they could be together, mean something to each other was worth everything. It was either that or spend the rest of his life wondering, but he needed to stop pushing.

  He looked up as Daniel came back in the room. “Do you mind if I have a shower?”

  Christian wanted to offer to shower with him, but he didn’t.

  “Go ahead.”

  Daniel disappeared behind the door and was gone for ages. The water stopped and the bathroom door opened. He came in wearing nothing but a blue towel. His skin was damp, and Christian looked again at his tattoo. It snaked beneath the towel. It was truly beautiful. Gorgeous patterns. No imagery, just pattern. It started beneath his chin and embraced his throat. It moved over to his left shoulder, down his arm to just above the elbow. A thin line ran down his side and swirled in front by his groin and arrowed downwards through the towel. His torso was sculpted muscle dusted with dark hair. Christian looked up at his face. His eyes were shadowed, and his face impassive. He walked to the bed where Christian lay and held out a hand. Christian took it and let him pull him to his feet. He stood before him, cock aching, heart pounding. He closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them, he raised his gaze to Daniel’s.

  “I’ll shower.”

  He turned to move, but Daniel placed a gentle hand on his arm. “No need.” He took hold of Christian’s T-shirt and lifted it over his head. His gaze ran all over Christian’s pale, hairless chest, and his tongue swept over his lips as he swallowed. He undid the faster on Christian’s shorts, unzipped them slowly, then pushed them down, taking his underwear with them. Christian trembled and held his breath. He was so hard it hurt. One touch, and he’d be off like a rocket. He stepped out of the shorts, and Daniel ran his hands over Christian’s shoulders, down his arms and back up, and then pulled him into an embrace. Christian could feel him holding back and wondered why. He dropped a kiss on his shoulder, and pulled back to kiss his mouth, but he moved.

  Christian put his hands on Daniel’s hips, over the towel, and slipped his fingers beneath. He tugged, it came away, and Christian moaned softly. The tattoo snaked over his hip, glancing into his groin, then covered the muscle of his thigh, stopping just above his knee. Giving outline to the muscular V of his pelvis, the jut of his pelvic bones, the nest of dark hair and the cock that stood proud. He was massive. Everything about him was massive, and his cock was in proportion, but it made Christian’s hole tighten, and his insides ache. Last time, he’d let Daniel fuck him, but they’d always switched it up before. He wondered if Daniel would let him fuck him this time, although the thought of that cock inside him was almost enough to have him crawling on the bed, arse in the air. He lifted his face, and went to kiss him, but again, he moved away.

  “What is it?” Christian’s voice was hoarse.

  “Turn around.”

  Christian watched him for a moment, then turned. He’d come back to the kissing issue later. Daniel pressed himself tightly against Christian’s back, sliding one arm around his stomach to hold him in place. He dropped soft kisses on the top of his shoulder, no doubt remembering just how sensitive that area was. Christian squirmed back against him, opening his legs so Daniel’s cock rested in the crack of his arse.

  Daniel moved the hand that held him up, and ran a thumb over his nipple, before pinching it, hard. Christian’s eyes closed, his head rocked back onto Daniel’s shoulder, and his mouth opened in a silent cry of pleasure. Shards of sensation ripped through him. Daniel tightened his grip, pinched harder, and Christian heard the pop of the lube cap. His breathing stuttered as Daniel withdrew his hand, spread lube on his fingers, then threw t
he bottle on the bed. Daniel lowered his head and sucked on the top of Christian’s shoulder, reached around and pinched his other nipple, hard, and ran lube slick fingers down his crack. Christian shuffled his feet wider, and Daniel pushed against his hole. Christian reached behind him and grabbed hold of Daniel’s thigh and pushed back onto his finger. One finger became two, and Christian’s heart rate climbed. He was panting, aching, pushing for more. Daniel sucked harder, pinched harder, and thrust harder and Christian was so close to coming. His cock was throbbing. Aching to be touched, sucked, rubbed. Anything. Even being able to rub against the sheets.

  “Daniel, please,” he begged. Eyes closed, panting the words.

  Daniel removed his fingers, and his arm. He stood behind him and guided him to the bed. Christian tried to turn around, but he stopped him so Christian crawled onto the bed, on his hands and knees, and waited. Trembling. He heard the lube cap again, and the tearing of foil, and had to imagine Daniel rubbing his own cock, preparing it for the condom, slicking it with lube. His imagination was vivid. Daniel got on the bed, on one knee behind him. His other foot by the side. Christian’s heart leaped. He remembered this. Remembered how Daniel liked the extra leverage the position gave him, and knew he was in for the fucking of his life. He was shaking all over. Daniel spread more lube on his hole, pushed it inside, and stretched him a little more, then there was nothing.

  Just cold air and anticipation.

  It felt like forever until Daniel moved and lined his cock up with Christian’s hole. He hesitated, then pushed. Christian writhed back, taking him in, feeling full, stretched, and impaled. It was fucking magnificent.

  “Are you ready?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You’re sure about this.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Tell me again.”

  “Daniel, I want you in me. Will you get the fuck on with it before I die of not coming?”

  Daniel’s chuckle was a soft huff behind him. He’d always insisted on asking. It made Christian feel special and safe. Still did. He held his breath, and Daniel moved. He took hold of Christian’s hips, thrust a couple of times, ran a hand over Christian’s spine, caressed his buttocks, took hold of his hips once more, and then… oh my God…. Christian’s breath was lost as Daniel began thrusting. Hard, rhythmic, steady. Christian’s arms buckled, and he pushed his face onto his arm. Daniel adjusted, and began again. It was like nothing else on earth. Nothing. Nothing compared to being fucked by Daniel. Nothing. His entire body was on fire, lust raged through him, hard and demanding. He ached to come but didn’t want it to end. Ached to turn and face Daniel but didn’t want to break the moment. He started moaning. Couldn’t stop the incoherent words spilling from his lips. He could feel Daniel getting faster. Movements shorter, jabbing at his gland and nailing it every time. Daniel slid one hand around him, holding him. He leaned low so his chest covered his back. Kissed his shoulder. Pinched his nipple. Then, when Christian thought he was going to explode, took hold of his cock and pumped. His thrusts were wild. Ragged.