Samantha and Her Genie

by Daisy Dexter Dobbs

  Samantha held her hands over her ears. She felt like singing la-la-la-la-la to drown all of them out. If they’d just buzz off she could get some work done, then maybe go to bed early. Yeah, that’s what she needed, some extra sleep. She’d been pushing herself too hard lately, burning the candle at both ends to make BTS the best weight-loss center on the planet.

  That’s all it was…she was overtired and cranky. Why couldn’t they understand that and stop badgering her?

  “Aw, honey,” Rosie said, drawing Samantha’s stiff, unyielding body into a hug, whether Samantha liked it or not. “Lugal’s right. I should have realized that’s what’s been going on with you. Talk to us, Sam,” she encouraged. “We’re here for you, hon.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about.” Shrugging out of Rosie’s grasp, Samantha blasted the trio with a caustic glare.

  “I’m sick to death of listening to all of Lugal’s psychobabble,” she barked. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. None of you do. Can’t I simply be pissed off with Lugal because he acted like a horse’s ass? Why does it have to have anything to do with the fact that…that…” she sucked in a shuddering breath. “That he’s leaving me in a few…a few…”

  Two fat tears escaped her eyes, coursing down her cheeks. Then her entire body shook with a series of violent trembles.

  “Oh God,” she sobbed. “What am I going to do?” She dropped to her knees, burying her face in her hands, weeping.

  Lugal knelt at her side, wrapping her in his arms, soothing her as she cried.

  “I can’t lose you, Lugal,” she sobbed into his chest. “Without you life is meaningless. And, good God in heaven, I can’t bear the thought of you being trapped in that awful bottle again. Oh God, Lugal, what are we going to do?”

  “It will be hard for us,” Lugal said. “But you are bold and strong. You have the support of Rosie and Charlie and you have the daily operations of Beyond the Scale to fill your thoughts while you grieve. You will survive this loss, my love, and you will go on to live a productive, happy life.”

  “No…no, not without you, Lugal. I can’t.” She clutched onto him for dear life. She would have crawled inside him if she could.

  “If I had it in my power to make a wish for myself,” Lugal said gently, “it would be that you find yourself a good, caring man who will give you a houseful of adorable little goats and take care of you until you are old…the way I wish I could do for you. In fact, Samantha, I would ask that you consider making that your third and final wish before I must depart.”

  By this time, Rosie was crying and Charlie snorted in a big manly sniffle.

  “How could I ever think of being with another man after I’ve had you in my life?” Samantha asked through her sobs. “No man could begin to compare to you, Lugal. I could never feel for anyone else what I feel for you.”

  “The phrase, time heals all wounds, is a worthy one, Samantha,” Lugal said. “You will see…with the passage of time, the ache in your heart will ease and you will find enough room in that big heart of yours for another man to share your life.”

  “I don’t really think you’re a horse’s ass, Lugal. Or a numbskull. Or a dodo, or any of those other awful things I said.”

  “What about macho and stubborn?” Lugal asked.

  “Definitely.” Samantha laughed a little. “But those traits are part of what makes you the dear, wonderful man I love—with all my heart, Lugal. I’m sorry for all those terrible things I said.”

  “It is all right. I understand.” Lugal brought Samantha’s hand to his mouth, brushing his lips across her knuckles.

  “Jeez, I hate like hell to have to bring this up now,” Rosie said, “but it’s almost time for your next Warrior Fitness class, Lugal. Think you’ll be able to teach it—or should we cancel it?”

  Lugal rose to his feet, bringing Samantha up with him. After kissing her forehead, nose and lips, he straightened, giving Rosie a half-hearted smile.

  “I am ready. I have only a few more classes to lead before I leave and Charlie takes over. Charlie, you will come with me so that I may introduce you to the class members as their new instructor, yes?”

  Charlie took in a deep breath and shook his head. “I keep telling you, they’re never going to accept me, Lugal. Those women love you, adore you. You’re like a rock star to them. You could do classes every hour around the clock and still never be able to meet the demand.

  “And the men,” Charlie huffed a humorless chuckle, “well they envision themselves looking like you and having all your charisma and magnetism once they get in shape. They’ll take one look at me—a carrot-topped professor of ancient history and classical archaeology—and never come back.”

  “Nay, you speak foolishness. You are a man of great galanzu and nam-silis. Knowledge and strength,” Lugal clarified. “Physically you may have been a henzer, a weakling, in the past, but no more, Charlie. Today you have a warrior’s body. You must work on your confidence, my friend.” Lugal slapped Charlie on the back, a gesture that sent him flying before he got in shape. “So, we go now?”

  “Sure,” Charlie said, boasting a smile of renewed confidence. “Thanks, Lugal. Hey, Rosie, can you stay with Sam for a while?”

  “Absolutely. It’s time to lock my office door and dig into my desk drawer.”

  Samantha sniffled. “For what?”

  “My chocolate cache,” Rosie confessed, her eyebrows bouncing. “A good chocolate binge will make us both feel better, you’ll see.” She winked.

  Samantha couldn’t help but chuckle a bit.

  “You are a very wise woman, Rosie,” Lugal said as he and Charlie left her office.

  Rosie checked her appointment book. “I’ve got just over an hour before my next client appointment. That should give us ample time to chow down on chocolate and talk.”

  “I’m free for about forty-five minutes,” Samantha said. “Good God…” She licked her lips as she watched Rosie draw a bag of chocolate decadence from her drawer. “I can’t believe we’re about to feed our faces with chocolate, right here in the offices of BTS!” She laughed.

  “You know our motto,” Rosie reminded her. “All things in moderation.”

  “That,” Samantha pointed to the chocolate stash, “is not moderation.”

  “The way I see it,” Rosie gave a nonchalant shrug, “we haven’t indulged in chocolate for far too long, which makes us more than eligible for stretching the definition of moderation.”

  “Well, when you put it that way…” As she sank her teeth into the square of Belgian chocolate, Samantha moaned in bliss. “Mmm, perfect. Thanks, Rosie. I-I’m really sorry about before. I made such an ass of myself,” she confessed. “I hope you know I didn’t mean any of those awful things I said to you. Forgive me?”

  “Of course. With all you’ve got going on, Sam, you’re entitled to a bit of bitchery.”

  Samantha’s eyes welled with tears. “I don’t know what I’d ever do without you, Rosie. Not only are you my best friend, you’re the sister I never had.”

  “Back atcha, sweetie.” Rosie winked and pointed her finger at Samantha. “But it’s time to stop blubbering, Sam. Salty tears don’t mix well with chocolate.” She bit into a chunk of chocolate, rolling her eyes in heavenly satisfaction.

  “I’ll do my best to turn off the waterworks.” Samantha snatched a tissue from the box on Rosie’s desk and dabbed her eyes.

  “Charlie found another incantation in some old handwritten manuscript full of spells and such.”

  “That’s wonderful!” Samantha scooted to the edge of her seat. “Can we try it tonight?”

  Rosie nodded. “Lugal will be occupied with another class an hour before the center closes tonight. We can do it then.”

  “Perfect. Maybe this will be the one, Rosie. Maybe we’ll actually be able to conjure Inanna.”

  “I hope to hell we do. Time’s getting short.” As soon as the words flew out of Rosie’s mouth, Samantha’s eyes glistened with tears. “Oh crap.
I didn’t mean to bring that up again.”

  “That’s okay.” Samantha shook her head and sighed. “There’s no escaping it, Rosie. And no use pretending it’s not going to happen. It’s a fact. Three days from now, poof, back into that damn bottle he goes.”

  “Unless we can prevent it. Charlie’s made it an extra credit project for his students, so they’re all busy looking for ways to contact Inanna. He’s got a brainy bunch, they’ve already come up with plenty of good leads.”

  “Charlie is an angel,” Samantha said. “I’m so thankful to have you for my friends.”

  “Hey!” Rosie jabbed her finger in the air. “Nip those emerging tears in the bud, lady. Enough with the crying already. Eat!” She pushed another foil wrapped chocolate truffle toward Samantha.

  “You really enjoy being at Beyond the Scale, don’t you, Rosie” Rosie gave her an incredulous look. “Are you kidding? I’ve never been happier in my life. If you’re thinking about getting rid of me, you can just forget it because I won’t go. This place has changed my life, Sam. In three short months you’ve built a—”

  “We’ve built,” Samantha corrected with a warm smile.

  Rosie grinned. “Thanks, I’m glad you feel that way. We’ve built the most popular weight-loss center in Portland and it looks like there’s no end in sight. Every day new requests for interviews are coming in, we’ve got a waiting list a mile long, our BTS website is getting so many hits Charlie says it’s insane and we can barely keep up with the sales of your videos and audios, Sam.”

  “We’ve got a bona fide hit on our hands,” Samantha said, “don’t we?”

  “That’s an understatement. Sam, you’re the beloved new icon of overweight, out-of-shape, sick-of-dieting people everywhere. I swear to God, I half-expect to see Oprah and her best friend Gail popping in to sign up any day. How much you wanna make a bet her people call you to come on the show?”

  Samantha laughed. “That’s just a wee bit grandiose, don’t you think?”

  “With the way BTS has taken Portland by storm? Nope. You mark my words, missy. One day when that phone rings—”

  Rosie’s office phone rang and they jumped.

  While her friend tended to the call, which, from the calm expression on Rosie’s face clearly wasn’t from Oprah, Samantha’s thoughts whirled. Time was running out. She had little hope they’d be successful in contacting the goddess instrumental in imprisoning Lugal. That meant she needed to start putting her plan into action.

  As soon as Rosie disconnected, Samantha said, “Rosie, I’ve had my attorney work up some documents. I’m making you a full partner, half-owner of Beyond the Scale.”

  Rosie choked on her candy. “Are you serious?” she asked, still coughing. Samantha nodded, but Rosie’s face fell. “Oh, honey, that’s a great offer, and I wish to hell I could take you up on it, but, even though you pay me way an extremely generous wage, there’s no way I can afford to buy half an interest in this place. Charlie and I have only got a little socked away and it’s all earmarked the for twins’ college educations.”

  “Who said anything about money?” Samantha smiled and Rosie’s eyes bugged. “I want to give this partnership to you, Rosie—at no cost. If anything ever happens to me I’d want to make certain that Beyond the Scale continues to flourish so it can keep helping all of those wonderful people who’ve put their faith and trust in us. Having you as my partner, the woman who shares my vision, the one person I fully trust to carry on my dream, I know that will happen.”

  “Well, shit, Sam, I’d be a damned fool to turn you down.” She rose from her chair and gave her best friend a hug. “Thank you. But, you don’t have to worry about anything happening to you because when I’m old and feeble and trying to read those itty-bitty numbers on the scale, you’ll be right there with me, struggling to see through a thick pair of bifocals.”

  “Right. And when we get totally frustrated and pissed off because we’re nothing but couple of useless old bats,” Samantha offered, “we’ll toddle in here to your office to binge on chocolate to soothe our aging psyches.”

  They laughed together and each ate another piece of chocolate before Rosie stuffed the candy back into the bowels of her desk drawer.

  “Time for breath mints,” Rosie said, handing them each one. You know those clients can smell chocolate on someone’s breath from across the room.”

  “I’m the same way.” Samantha admitted. “Getting back to the partnership thing, Rosie. Realistically, who knows what might happen.” She savored the last remnants of chocolate on her tongue before the strong peppermint all but obliterated the taste. “I mean, I could get hit by a bus on the way to my Oprah taping.” She smiled. “But seriously, I’ve arranged it so that if something does happen, this house and all of my personal and business assets will be yours. You’re the closet thing to family I have, so you’re the logical beneficiary.”

  Rosie eyed Samantha skeptically. “That’s all fine and good and I’m thankful as hell, hon, but why all the maudlin talk all of a sudden? That’s not like you. Did you have some sort of premonition or something? Oh Jesus, Sam, you’re not seriously ill, are you? You wouldn’t keep something like that from me, would you?”

  “No, no, nothing like that. I just…well, now that I have a thriving business, I thought it would be wise to…get things in order. Just in case.”

  “Listen, you know I get really eeky talking about wills and dying and stuff like that, Sam, so let’s end this conversation by me saying thanks for your generous gesture and you complete dropping this ghastly subject, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “So have you decided on your third wish yet?” Rosie asked.

  Samantha sucked in a deep breath. “Yes…it took me a long time and I went through dozens of possibilities but…after today…”

  Samantha’s mind skirted over the day’s events and the single bright shining spot in it all. Lugal. No matter what she’d dished out, he not only put up with her, he nurtured her, put her concerns above his own. He gave of his heart and soul so completely it put her to shame.

  “After today, I’m one hundred percent certain. There’s no longer any doubt about what I’ll wish for.”

  “So?” Rosie perched on the edge of her seat. “Come on already, the suspense is killing me.”

  “Samantha shook her head. “Sorry, Rosie, I’m going to keep this one private. You’ll find out what it is once my wish comes true.”

  “Well damn! Not only are you being downright mysterious,” Rosie chided, “you’re utterly cruel too. Come on, give me a hint. Does it involve money?”

  “Nope, I’ve got all the money I need now.”

  Rosie’s eyes widened. “Are you going to wish for another man like Lugal suggested? Is that it, sweetie? I know it would be hard, but you have to admit he had a good point there.”

  “No.” Samantha huffed a humorless laugh. “Absolutely not.”

  As Rosie nibbled on a fingernail, Samantha could imagine the gears turning inside her friend’s head as she tried to come up with a valid idea.

  But Samantha knew Rosie would never guess.

  “Travel? Does it have something to do with going somewhere?”

  Samantha gave a wistful smile. “I guess you could say that…yes.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Bunny Turner sat on the edge of her bed, wearing a silk negligee. Slipping her hand between her breasts she withdrew a small key suspended from a fine gold chain. She bent to unlock the gilt-edged door of her nightstand and brought out the ancient stone box containing the spun glass bottle.

  She patted her hair, taking a deep breath before opening the box and setting the small bottle in the palm of her hand.

  “Genie, come forth,” she commanded, pulling the stopper from the neck of the bottle. “It is I,” she elevated her chin, “Bunny Turner, your new owner. Come forth and do my bidding, genie.”

  It was the same regime she’d gone through every evening since appropriating the genie’s bot
tle from the BTS wine cellar three months earlier. She didn’t like to think of it as stealing. Not when that fat bitch Sam Rutledge had robbed her of her prestige, her fame, her standing in the weight-loss community.

  In three months, the annoyingly buoyant woman had somehow catapulted her copycat business to astounding heights. Bunny had lost most of her clients to BTS. Hell, she’d even lost her best counselors.

  No, it wasn’t stealing when someone owed you something. And Sam Rutledge owed her. Big time.

  Bunny stared at the bottle for a long moment, waiting to see if Lugal would waft out in a puff of smoke, but nothing happened.

  “I’m getting impatient, my handsome genie,” Bunny said. “But I can wait. The time has to be getting close now. As long as I have your bottle, you’re mine—just as soon as you leave that fat bitch. Then you’ll see what a real woman is all about.”

  Leaving the bottle open, in invitation as she liked to think of it, Bunny placed it back in its box atop her nightstand, where it would remain until she locked it up again in the morning.

  ———

  It was almost over. Samantha’s life-changing love affair, her beloved heart of hearts, her brave, wonderful, handsome genie…all of it was about to come to a dreadful end.

  She glanced at the clock for the umpteenth time in the last five minutes. There were less than two hours left before the clock struck midnight. Before she would lose the man she so dearly loved in a cruel puff of smoke.

  Samantha wasn’t sure why she was still breathing. The pain in her heart was almost too great to bear. Charlie and his class had found several other incantations, which he, Rosie and Samantha had solemnly recited to no avail. Inanna could not or would not be summoned.

  No matter how great her grief, Samantha was determined to make their remaining time together as happy and beautiful as possible. She’d ordered the two foods Lugal had mentioned as favorites from a Middle Eastern restaurant. While they didn’t have grilled goat’s head, they did have roasted lamb’s head, a Greek specialty. Instead of the leg of mutton, they provided a roasted leg of lamb.