The Tao of Hockey (Vancouver Vice #1)

by Melanie Ting

  He held up two fingers. “Next option: you have a so-so season. Good, but not really turning any heads. Less options, maybe another AHL team if you stay clean, but probably back to Europe. You rolled the dice, but let’s face, it you’re getting too old to be a rookie anymore.”

  I sat back. Yeah, anywhere else in the world, 23 would be young—but not in hockey. Even though I had taken a half-season off and my body had less wear and tear on it, I was still competing with guys two or three years younger. Who had better reputations.

  “I don’t have to tell you what option three is. Don’t go there.”

  Option three was me screwing up again. Boozing and fucking around. Crapping the bed on my last chance to make the NHL. And possibly even fucking up so badly that I couldn’t go back to Europe. But I wasn’t going there again, I’d learned to tame that side of myself. As long as I could keep it under control when I was under real pressure.

  Lance frowned at me. “Is this going to be an issue for you? Especially playing for a party-hearty team like the Vice. I told you—there’s one team in New York State that might give you a tryout.”

  I shook my head. “No. I really want to stay here.”

  “I get it. Family support and all that.”

  Yeah. That was part of it.

  The other part of it was no longer leaning against a polished marble wall when I got out. Josie and her buddies had taken off, and the only sign they had ever been there was a crumpled Starbucks takeout cup. Would she even call me? Or would she wash my number off her arm when she went home with one of those skinny bike jockeys?

  After talking to Lance, the importance of this season loomed even larger. He might think I was a shoo-in to make the Vice, but I wasn’t as confident. I decided to head back to the gym and do some more work.

  Tony was still there, of course. He gave me a head nod when I walked in, and I wondered if this had been a test too. Seeing whether I would make up the two hours I had missed. Tony was such a master of psychology that was impossible to stay ahead of him.

  As I got changed, I wondered what would have happened if I had hooked up with Josie instead of coming back. Maybe women were trouble. But when I closed my eyes, I imagined her half-naked, pressed up against the smooth marble wall with my cock pounding into her. Her head would be back and she’d be a screamer for sure, because she didn’t give a shit about what other people thought. When I imagined us together, it wasn’t about how good it would feel to fuck her—that was a given—but how good it would be to make her feel something. I wanted to rock her world and shatter that chill exterior.

  I did a light workout, and then focused on my stretching. Tony came in to see me after he was done with his other clients.

  “How did your meeting with Lance go?”

  “Fine. He told me how great you think I am,” I joked.

  Tony grimaced. “He shouldn’t have done that.”

  “Why not? Isn’t a little encouragement a good thing?”

  “I think players work harder in an atmosphere of uncertainty. Being too comfortable leads to complacency.” Suddenly he smiled. Tony’s smile was a little crooked, like it was rusty from disuse. “You know, Eric. I don’t think I’ve discussed my philosophies of sport so much with anyone before.”

  I smiled back.

  “One thing I encourage all my players to do is to consider their careers after hockey. Is that something you’ve done?”

  I shook my head. “I guess it’s taken me so long to climb back up the mountain that I can’t see beyond the peak.”

  “You should think about it. Most guys get a pro career that’s only a few years tops at any level. That’s not going to set them up for life. It’s not uncommon for players to become depressed once their career is over, because they’ve done no preparation. It’s good to have something else to look forward to—in your case, it may alleviate your fears.”

  I nodded, but I was surprised that he had identified fear as one of my issues. I tried to be fearless out on the ice, but maybe he was right. I never thought beyond making the NHL. Suddenly, an idea occurred to me. “What would it take to work with you?”

  Tony’s eyes widened. He didn’t reply right away, and he seemed to be actually considering this. “Well, your yoga background is intriguing…and you’ve read a lot about sports psychology. But to be honest, most guys in my business have some kind of degree in the field.” He lifted his shoulders. “If not with me, personal training might be a good fit for you. I’ll put together some information for you. But like most things, having been successful in hockey will ease whatever you do afterwards.”

  That’s what everything hinged on—how successful I was this time. At least he wasn’t saying I had to make the NHL, only that it would be easier.

  “Tony, do you think that under pressure, we all revert to our true selves? I’ve worked so hard not to let my anger rule me. I think of it as the red side, but it’s like that rage is always there. It’s one thing to train and scrimmage—but in a real game, when things matter, it’s different. And Lance underlined how important this season will be for me. So when everything is on the line, how will I keep my emotions in check?”

  He stared at me, deep in thought. Then he answered. “You can’t. And you shouldn’t. The best players have rage and unpredictability. And they do cross the line sometimes, because they want it so much.”

  “But, once I cross that line—” Wouldn’t everything fall apart then? One lapse and I could be back at the bottom.

  “It’s wrong to injure someone deliberately. But in hockey, a little fear will keep your opponents a bit unsettled, maybe they’ll give you that extra space you need to make a play. Our game has violence in it. That’s inherent. Sure, it’s going to be in direct contradiction to some of the philosophies you’ve studied, but that’s hockey.”

  I didn’t have trouble hitting guys, and I wasn’t above a little stick work. And I had fought too. But Switzerland had been different—the bigger ice meant less crashing in the corners and a passing game that had suited me. Was I ready for the hard-driving North American style again?

  “Besides, Eric, what is your true self? You played hockey for years without crossing any boundaries. Then after your accident, you began to have control problems—that’s what you need to examine.” He was right. But I hated going there. It was over, and the farther away it got, the less I had to remember.

  8

  A Very Particular Set of Skills

  I was almost asleep when my phone dinged. I cursed myself for forgetting to mute it and reached over to the bedside table to shut it down. It was 11:30. I squinted at the screen.

  Unknown caller. You still up?

  I answered, Who is this?

  Hoot.

  I sat up in bed. Josie?

  The one and only.

  I’m up. Everything was up, including my hopes.

  Want company?

  Yes. God, yes. Fuck, yes. Yes! I did a fist pump.

  I sent her my address and told her to come around to the back door. Joe was home, but he went to bed early and I didn’t want to disturb him. She didn’t answer. She must have been getting ready.

  I sprung into action. First I took a quick shower, then I gathered up my clothes and threw them into the hamper. I didn’t have clean sheets, so I tried to smooth out the ones on the bed. The room wasn’t that messy, but it smelled a little like hockey gear, so I opened the back door. The night was warm, so I went up on the deck. I’d be able to hear Josie’s motorcycle better that way.

  The moon was nearly full, and it glowed hazily through some clouds. I remembered when I had done my first night exploration in the desert. The moon had been so bright that it was like daylight. Although the desert was full of creatures, I had felt at one with them all. The spirituality in my soul was still so strong when I was out in nature, but it always became submerged when I was inside. It was that constant battle inside me—between the person I wanted to be and the person I was.

  I felt a soft
ness brushing against my arm. It was Misty. She wasn’t really supposed to be outside, but Joe let her onto the deck if he was there. I stroked her back, and she arched into my hand.

  “That’s sickeningly adorable.”

  I looked up. Josie was standing there.

  I had this rush of satisfaction that she even showed up. She was wearing her usual outfit, but instead of a leather jacket she wore a short jacket with metal studs all over it.

  “Hey, where did you come from? I didn’t hear your bike or anything.”

  “That’s one of my superpowers, I appear and disappear at will.”

  “I’ve seen the disappearing part enough times.”

  She laughed. “So, did you set up that scene with the cat? As a panty-melter?”

  I stood up and walked over to Josie. I lifted her chin and planted a hard kiss on her lips. “I don’t need props to melt underwear.”

  “You’re a big talker.”

  “Let me back it up.” I held her hand and led her down the stairs into my room. Misty followed us, and I shooed her back upstairs. Josie was looking around, but she didn’t say a word.

  “No insults?” I wondered.

  “Not really. It looks generic here. Nothing personal, except the health food.” She motioned towards the protein powder, fruit, and the blender.

  “I got here less than a month ago, and I don’t know how much long—”

  Josie planted a quick kiss on my mouth. “Let’s not talk. Let’s just be.”

  I wanted to know so much about her, but she was here, and I wasn’t going to push for more.

  Josie started to take her jacket off, but I stopped her.

  “No. Let me. I’ve wanted to undress you so much.” I went behind her and slowly pulled her jacket off. Then I kissed the back of her neck, that bare place between where her short hair ended and her collar began. I stuck out my tongue and tasted her, the warm salty taste of her skin. I ran my hands down her shoulders and along her bare forearms. She felt tense.

  I took the bottom of her t-shirt and pulled it up. Her back was bared to me and her skin was golden and perfect. I put my hands back on her shoulders, dug my thumbs into her trapezoids, and massaged the tension out. Josie began to soften and relax, swaying slightly as she stood there. Then I leaned down and kissed my way down her spine, resting between her shoulder blades to inhale her scent. She wore no perfume and smelled spicy and primal. I kept kissing down to the place where her hips flared out and her jeans began. I laid my mouth hungrily on every part of her bare skin until she let out a little gasp.

  “I want to kiss every part of you,” I whispered as I stood up.

  I rested my chin on her shoulder and looked down. Her dark nipples were already puckered with excitement, and her breasts sat high on her chest. I put my hands on her waist and let them move up her ribs one by one, and finally I stroked the undersides of her breasts with my fingers and watched her nipples harden even more. I took one breast in in each hand, cupping their soft weight in my palms. Josie leaned her head back against me and arched her back. I squeezed gently, relishing the feeling of her naked flesh.

  She pressed her ass against my cock, but I was determined to take it slow. A quick fuck wasn’t going to impress Josie. I squeezed the hard points of her nipples, and she groaned out loud.

  I reached down and caressed her flat stomach, feeling the muscles flexing under my touch. I put my finger in the tiny indentation of her navel, and she squirmed and giggled. She was ticklish, a fact I put away in my tiny store of Josie-knowledge.

  I undid her heavy belt buckle and then her jeans. I bent down to peel them off and was rewarded by the sight of the red thread of a thong between two round ass cheeks.

  “Your ass is incredible,” I told her, bouncing her cheeks in my hands.

  Josie stepped out of her jeans and sandals and turned around.

  “It’s my turn now.” Her voice was hoarse. She pushed me onto the bed, then straddled me and yanked off my t-shirt, tearing it in the process.

  “Hope that wasn’t your favourite,” she said as she tossed it onto the floor. She ran her hands over my shoulders and then down the slope of my pecs.

  “Oh, very nice.”

  She was looking down at my body with a slight smile. But my view was equally good—Josie, naked except for her tiny red thong, her skin glowing in the lamplight. She bent her head down and sucked on my nipple, causing a spiral of vibrations through my body. She moved to the side of me for better access. Then she kissed a trail down to my stomach, and then ran a finger down the line of hair. My cock twitched in anticipation as her hand moved closer.

  Josie pulled off my shorts and then my boxer briefs.

  “Mmmhmm,” she purred, and I grinned. I raised my head and put my hands behind it for a better view. Josie had her hands on my thighs, and was staring at my erect cock. All this waiting meant I was rock hard already.

  “You like?” I asked her.

  “Yeah, sure. Don’t worry, Eric. Size isn’t everything.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  Josie threw her head back and laughed. “Your ego needs the occasional deflating.”

  “Not about that,” I grumbled.

  “Awww, are you mad? I’ll kiss and make it better.” Josie bent her head down, and I felt the soft touch of her lips on the side of my erection. Then the exquisite feeling of her tongue licking up and down the length of it. And finally she closed her mouth over the head of my cock and bathed it in warm wetness.

  I watched Josie taking my cock in and out of her mouth, her cheek bulging when I was deep inside and her lips stretching around it as she pulled away. This was something I had been fantasizing about for weeks, but real life was even better. How could I have imagined that almost blissful expression on her face like this was the best thing she’d ever tasted? Or the gentle way she stroked my balls with her slightly calloused fingers? Her eyes opened and met mine. She knew exactly how much I was enjoying this blow job.

  Too much, in fact. “Josie, stop, okay? Or I’ll come....”

  But she didn’t stop; instead she increased the speed and pressure. I closed my eyes and let my mind fly to that perfect state of not thinking. All my consciousness was centred in my cock and the sensations of what Josie was doing to me. I could see colours swirling and feel a dizzying whirl around me. I groaned and arched my back, then I came in a waterfall burst.

  After a minute, I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling fan. Josie was lying beside me. Her tits pointed up, there was a pretty valley made by her flat abs, and she was still wearing that thong. I needed to fix that. I pulled her towards me and kissed her.

  “You’re so fucking sexy,” I told her. I moved my mouth down to one perfect breast and took it between my lips. Her nipple was already erect, but it got even harder as I sucked. Josie began moving her hips and moaning a little, and I cupped her mound with one hand. I tweaked her nipple with my other hand and continued the hard suction that was clearly turning her on. Her thong was wet right through, and I poked my finger through the fabric.

  I paused from sucking to yank her underwear off. She was completely bald down there, which was exactly what I had imagined. I fastened my mouth to her other nipple and began sucking on that. Judging from the sounds she was making, Josie’s tits were very sensitive, and I wanted to get her all worked up.

  “Oh yeah,” she breathed. I kissed between her breasts and then moved down the middle of her until I reached her belly button. I swirled my tongue in there, and she giggled some more. Then I made it down to the Promised Land. Her folds were deep—keeping her treasures hidden. I moved down between her legs and pushed her thighs wide apart.

  This moment was one of my favourites with a new woman. They were all so different and beautiful. And Josie was extra special. Her skin down there was dark and purply. I ran a finger up and down her crinkly folds, and she trembled all over. Her clit was tiny and hidden away under its protective hood. When I probed it with my finger, she arced
up like I had electrified her.

  I kissed the insides of her thighs as I spread her legs wider. And then I moved down slowly, and licked along her pussy lips—tracing them in a lazy circle. I went up and down, and then pushed my tongue inside her, and Josie wriggled around. Then I started on her clit, using my tongue on the tip and circling it and sucking the whole thing. Josie stayed absolutely still, and all I could hear was her hoarse breathing and sighing. I continued to work her, but she barely made a sound. It was kind of weird, but I kept going.

  Man, Josie was taking a long time to come. My tongue needed a break, so I backed off and started using my fingers instead.

  Josie raised her head, and called out, “Fuck me now.”

  “But you haven’t come yet,” I protested. She had given me such an amazing blow job, and I wanted to return the favour.

  “It’s okay, I will when we’re doing it.”

  “Okay.” I got up and got a condom from the dresser. I slid it on. My cock was aching to get inside all the sweetness that I’d been tasting. I looked down at her lying on my bed—naked, sexy, and accessible to me. All the time, I’d spent worrying whether I’d ever get to do this and now here she was. I got up between her legs and pushed inside.

  Oh fuck. She felt amazing. Hot and slick, even through the condom. I stroked my cock deep and watched her arching up.

  “Yeah. Fuck me hard. Feels great.”

  I pulled out and then plunged back inside. Her whole body jerked with the impact, and she cried out, “Oh yes. Yes!” Every stroke was bliss for me, and for Josie too. Instead of the tensed silence as I ate her out, now she was reacting to everything.

  “Oh God, I’m coming,” she moaned. I looked down at her. Her eyes were closed, and she was touching herself. Her body looked different, and I realized her nipples were soft now. Something seemed wrong. I sensed it, rather than knowing exactly what it was.

  Then it hit me. Josie was faking it. This incredibly sexy woman wasn’t even getting off when I fucked her.