The Tao of Hockey (Vancouver Vice #1)

by Melanie Ting

  “Fuck. What’s wrong?” I undid my seatbelt and tried to get closer without falling on him.

  “Hurts.”

  “Where?” Why was I even asking? It wasn’t like I was a fucking doctor. I knew I wasn’t supposed to move him though, that was one of the first things you learn on the ice. I noticed that there was blood all over him; it had soaked right through his jeans.

  Nobody was going to drive by and find us. I had to call for help. My phone had been in the console, so I started searching for it. I finally dug it out from the back. The glass was smashed, but it was still working. I tried to hit the emergency key, but my hand was shaking too much. I had to breathe in and concentrate. Finally, I succeeded and heard the voice of the operator. I told her where we were and that we needed an ambulance. She stayed on the line with me, but I wasn’t even listening to her voice. I kept talking to Gar, trying to keep him from passing out.

  “It’s okay. They’re coming now—the ambulance. You’re going to be fine.”

  The weird sound of his moaning was terrifying. I reached down and wiped off a thin line of blood off his forehead. “C’mon, bud. Don’t forget, we’re getting together and going out in New York City. The dream, right?” I cursed myself for saying something so stupid, but it was all I could think of.

  I finally heard the sirens—faintly at first—across the water. They got louder as the ambulance drove across the bridge. It was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard.

  “They’re almost here. Hang in there.”

  After a fucking eternity, the paramedics got Gary strapped into the stretcher. They loaded him into the back of the ambulance and told me to get in as well.

  Gary lay there with an oxygen mask on his face. I couldn’t hear his moaning any more. They had given him something for the pain, but he wasn’t unconscious and his eyes kept fluttering open.

  I got up and patted his shoulder. “You’re gonna be okay, Gar.” I kept saying the same thing over and over, but it was all I could think of.

  “Sit down,” the paramedic commanded. “You can help your friend more by strapping in so we can get going.” He had gone to my high school, but he was a few years older. His name was Buck or Brock or something.

  “He’s going to be okay, right?” I sat, but stretched to squeeze Gary’s hand. I wasn’t sure if it was to make him feel better or me.

  Brock shrugged. He kept talking to the hospital, but I didn’t understand what he was saying, it was all numbers and medical terms. Gary sighed and closed his eyes. His hand went limp and I let go of it.

  I put the seatbelt on. I felt cold and wrapped my arms around myself. Once Brock got off the radio, he handed me a tissue and motioned towards my face. I realized I was crying. And from the dampness of the tissue, I had been crying for ages. A tear fell onto my jeans, but I couldn’t feel my own tears. In fact, I could hardly feel anything at all.

  When I unclenched my hand, I noticed my palm was a criss-cross map of bloody lines. But I felt fine—it was all Gary’s blood. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He had to be all right.

  By the time we got to the hospital, both Gary’s parents and mine were already there. My mom grabbed me and hugged me tightly, even though I still had blood all over me.

  “I’m sorry, Audrey. We’re going to have to examine Eric first.” The emergency nurse pulled us apart. It was Carol Ford, a neighbour of ours, and I wondered why she was being so harsh.

  My dad was watching, his arms crossed and his face tense.

  “Sorry, Dad. The car’s totalled.”

  He nodded, and my mom answered for him. “That doesn’t matter, dear. As long as you’re okay.”

  “I feel fine.” I could tell by the expression on her face that she didn’t believe me. Was I still crying?

  The nurse guided me through a doorway. “Eric, let’s go in here.”

  “We’ll be right here, son,” my dad said.

  It didn’t take them long to clean up all the cuts on my face and arms. No stitches or anything. The doctor warned me that I was going to have some major bruising from the airbag. Then he and the nurse left, and two R.C.M.P. officers walked in.

  I was still wiping tears away in this bizarre state of shock. I knew one of the officers. “Hey, Sergeant Burton.”

  He nodded but didn’t smile. “Eric. This is Constable Schmidt.”

  “Hi,” I said, but Constable Schmidt looked even more stern and didn’t respond. “Do you guys know how Gary is?”

  Sgt. Burton shook his head. “We’re going to have to ask you a few questions about the accident.”

  “Sure.”

  He went through everything, step by step. How long we were at the party, our estimated speed on the highway, the deer, and how the accident happened.

  “Eric, when there’s a serious accident like this—late and after a party—we have to find out if you were driving impaired.”

  “I wasn’t. I felt fine.”

  “Still, we have to test you.” He brought out a squarish black box with a protruding tube. “Take a deep breath, and blow in here.”

  I did, and then he and Constable Schmidt looked at the reading. Sgt. Burton frowned at me.

  “Did you smoke any marijuana tonight?”

  I shook my head. “What’s my reading?”

  Nobody answered right away. Finally Constable Schmidt said, “It’s .052.”

  “What’s the limit?”

  “It’s .049.”

  “So, that’s hardly over. I told you, I felt fine to drive.”

  “Son, we’re testing you at least an hour after you got in the car. That means it was higher when you started driving. In addition, you’re still in the graduated driving program. Since you don’t have your full licence yet, the penalties will be stiffer.”

  I put my head in my hands. This night was so fucked.

  I told my parents what had happened with the police. My dad probably wanted to lecture me, but even he could see how exhausted I was. My eyes were aching, but the weird crying had finally stopped. I went home with my mom. Gary was in surgery, and the staff said to come back in the morning to visit him. They still wouldn’t tell us anything about how he was.

  In the morning, my mom dropped me off at the hospital on her way to work. Sgt. Burton said my driver’s licence was suspended indefinitely. I finally found Gary’s room; his parents were still there. Gary was asleep.

  “How is he?”

  Gary’s mom turned and looked at me. She was a sweet lady, but now her face was drawn and unsmiling.

  “Get out,” she hissed.

  I backed out and then leaned against the wall outside his room. How stupid was I not to realize that I was the one to blame for Gary being injured? I didn’t think I was drunk, but legally I was. The fact that I wouldn’t ever hurt my best friend didn’t mean shit.

  I sank down into a squat. I had done this to him. Whatever his injuries were—I still had no fucking clue how he was.

  “Eric!”

  I looked up, and Sunny was running towards me, her long blonde hair streaming behind her. She looked like an angel. I stood up, and she threw her arms around me.

  “Are you okay? We came back as soon as I heard what happened.” I felt a rush of relief at seeing her beautiful face again—like things could get back to normal somehow.

  “I’m okay. But Gary’s not.”

  She looked me over and squeezed my arms as if she was making sure I was still in one piece. “Are you sure you’re okay? I heard your car flipped.”

  “Yeah. I’m fine. Cuts and bruises, that’s it.”

  Sunny’s mom caught up to us. She looked me over expertly as she was a nurse in this very hospital. “You’re a lucky boy.”

  “I know. Jennifer, can you find out how Gary is? Nobody will tell me, and I’m going crazy not knowing.”

  She glanced at Sunny first, then nodded. “Why don’t the two of you go down to the cafeteria—no, better yet, go to the coffee shop across the street. I’ll ask around and meet you there. Sunny,
you haven’t eaten a thing today. Now that you can see that Eric is fine, have some breakfast.”

  She nodded and took me by the hand. Once we got outside, I wrapped my arms around her. I bent down and leaned my forehead against hers. I closed my eyes. My body trembled slightly and she reached up and wrapped her arms around my neck.

  “God, Eric—when I heard you were in a car accident, I was so scared. If anything happened to you….”

  “Shine, it’s so good to have you here. I feel like I’m in some horrible nightmare and I can’t wake up.”

  She tilted her mouth towards mine, and I kissed her. My mouth was hungry for hers. I wanted her so bad. It was like all the stress, fear, and worry of the past twelve hours was churned up into this desperate need to fuck and to feel alive. I ground my erection into her body.

  Finally, she pushed me away. “Eric, stop. My mom will be back anytime.”

  “Sorry. I need you real bad.”

  “Um, yeah. I can tell. But it’s not the time or place.”

  “It’s like you’re the only real thing in my life now.”

  She smiled and led me across the street. The place was half-full, and as soon as we walked in, everyone went suddenly quiet. Before, people couldn’t stop coming up and congratulating me on the draft or rookie camp, but now they turned away. We sat at a back table. Sunny had a muffin and coffee, but she only picked at her food.

  “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

  “Not really.” I didn’t want to relive this thing. “But there’s one thing you should know. I’m going to get charged with a DUI.”

  “Oh no, are you sure?”

  “Yeah. Fuck.”

  “What does that mean? Can you still drive?”

  “I have no clue. I’ve been too worried about Gar to figure out all the shit I’m in.”

  Her mother walked in, ordered a coffee and an identical bran muffin, and sat with us. She had a sip of coffee and frowned at me. “Eric, were you driving drunk last night?”

  “Mom, stop it.” Sunny pulled on her mother’s arm. “Eric already told me about this. He’s been through enough without you starting in on him.”

  “Really? Because if my daughter is getting driven around by someone with judgement that poor, I think this is my business.”

  “Look, Jennifer, I blew a .052 last night, barely over the limit. I did not feel drunk when I got behind the wheel, and my reflexes were fine. If a deer hadn’t run across the road, none of this would have happened.”

  “We’ll see what happens to you next, but this discussion is not over.” She scowled at me a little longer, then her expression softened. “I’m telling you this in confidence, but Gary’s condition is very serious. He has a punctured spleen and a broken leg.”

  “Oh man. What does that mean? How long is he going to be in the hospital?”

  “A while. He fractured his femur.” At my blank expression, she continued, “It’s your thigh bone, the biggest bone in your body. It takes a lot to break that bone, and the recovery time is long and painful.”

  “Is he going to miss part of the season? We’re supposed to be back in Kelowna at the end of August.”

  Jennifer shook her head at me. “Do you not get this, Eric? It’s not a question of playing hockey. Gary is going to have trouble walking normally.”

  I closed my eyes. There was so much stuff to process, and I felt completely drained and tired. The essential unfairness of life struck me. How could I walk away unharmed and everything bad happen to Gary?

  22

  Invincible

  The airbag began to deflate, the smell disappeared, and I stretched my neck. I felt sore, but otherwise okay. Disoriented, I looked around—Gary’s face in the passenger seat dissolved into Josie’s beautiful one. She was slumped against the seat, her eyes squeezed shut. For one moment, she looked almost peaceful, and I was elated that she was okay.

  Then I saw that she was struggling to breathe—the sound of her deep, choked gasps filled the truck cab.

  “Fuck—no!” I cried out. “Josie.”

  I undid my seatbelt, and then hers as well. Her side of the car was smashed in, and I tried to make sure nothing was pressing into her. Her hand was clutching her chest, and blood was seeping slowly between her fingers. Her lips were turning blue and I felt fucking useless. I yanked off my jacket and draped it over her to keep her warm. Then I started searching for my phone.

  Please God, not Josie. Don’t let Josie be seriously hurt. Not that she’d let me, but all I’d ever wanted to do was take care of her—and now I’d done the opposite. I’d messed up the most perfect person in my life. Her whole life would be so fucked if she couldn’t do all the physical stuff she loved.

  There was a tapping on my window. An older man was there and he opened my door carefully.

  The man stuck his head in. “You okay?”

  “I am. But my girlfriend needs help—right away!”

  The older man reassured me. “Don’t worry, I’ve already called 911. They’re on their way.”

  I turned back to Josie. I stroked her arms, her hair and her face. It seemed like she was in another zone—concentrating on keeping her pain in check. Her whole body was trembling. I kissed her forehead and it was moist and clammy. “You’re going to be okay,” I whispered. But what the hell did I know? I was wrong last time.

  Everything about this accident was the opposite of the last one. Instead of being alone, there were people all around. The noise of the crash had attracted everyone in this quiet neighbourhood. Through the side window, I could see a woman in the driver’s seat of the other car. She looked terrified.

  I could hear sirens in the distance getting louder. This time there were two ambulances. Josie was the priority, and the expressions on the paramedics’ faces as they rushed her into the ambulance only confirmed how serious her injuries were.

  Everything went so fast this time. Surely that was a sign that she would be all right. I insisted on coming with her, but I sat back and stayed out of the way as the paramedics went to work. They sliced open her t-shirt and I had a glimpse of the blood and swelling just below her chest. I shut my eyes for a moment, then forced myself to open them. I had to watch over her.

  They had put a large bandage over her chest, and she had an oxygen mask on her face. I held Josie’s limp hand the whole trip, but she never looked at me. It was an all too familiar ride. Once we got to Vancouver General Hospital, they ran Josie’s stretcher through Emergency. I followed along, until we came to a set of swinging doors.

  A nurse held up her hand. “I’m sorry, sir. You’re going to have to stay in Emergency until you’ve been examined.”

  “But I want to stay with Josie. I have to know she’s going to be okay. Please.” I knew the drill, once you got locked out, that was it.

  She shook her head. “No. You’re just holding things up by arguing.” Then she let the doors swing shut, and I could only watch through the narrow windowpane as Josie disappeared around the corner. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the door.

  I had to sit in a curtained-off room for ages—worrying and wondering. When I closed my eyes, all I could see was Josie lying there with blood on her chest. All I could hear was the terrible croaking sound as she had tried to breathe. Finally, a young doctor came in and examined me.

  “You’re lucky, Eric. Looks like you’ll be fine except for bruising here.” He motioned towards my chest and kept filling out his forms. “You’ll need to watch for longer term effects like whiplash. I would recommend consulting a physiotherapist in the next few weeks.”

  Of course, I was fine. I was like one of those comic book characters who walks away from burning buildings or spewing volcanoes. Nothing ever happened to me—only to people I loved.

  “Can I check on my girlfriend now?” The word girlfriend seemed so insignificant to what I felt for Josie. How weird was that? That one person could be in love and the other not be committed at all. Of course, whatever injuries I had inflict
ed on her weren’t going to make her love me now.

  “We’re almost done here,” the doctor replied. “But the R.C.M.P. want to talk to you.”

  I laughed hollowly. “Of course they do.”

  There was only one officer this time, a dark-haired woman who marched into the examination room with a black binder in one hand and a breathalyzer in the other.

  “I need to take a reading from you, Eric.” She hadn’t introduced herself yet, but she knew exactly who I was. Once a drunk driver, always a drunk driver. I nodded and took the machine in my hand. Last time, it was the first time I’d ever used a breathalyzer, but now I took a deep breath in and blew out like the pro I was.

  She looked at the reading and one eyebrow went up. “Point zero, zero, one.”

  “Surprised?” I asked.

  “Well, let me put it this way. You wouldn’t be the first person to celebrate getting rid of your driving supervision program by going out drinking. I’m Constable Lucy Vinci, by the way.”

  “Do you know how my girlfriend is?”

  “No idea. Could you answer a few questions about the accident?” She asked me about the intersection, the visibility, and whether distracted driving might be involved.

  I shook my head. “You probably know this already, but I was under supervision for over four years. I wasn’t about to screw up now.” I didn’t mention how Josie wouldn’t even get in the truck while I had the interlock system. It was the first night she’d ridden with me. And probably the last.

  She asked more questions for the paperwork she was doing. Finally, we were done. “Can I see Josie now?” I asked.

  “You’ve got a one-track mind. But sure, let’s go together, I need to know the extent of her injuries for my report.”

  Thanks to Constable Vinci, we got answers right away. Josie had fractured ribs and a collapsed lung. A tube had been inserted into her lung to drain blood and fluids.