The Tao of Hockey (Vancouver Vice #1)

by Melanie Ting

  He sounded like Josie. But he was wrong. “No. I shouldn’t have been driving.”

  Gary yanked at his hair. “Fuck that. You and I both know that we drove in way worse shape. It could have been me driving. I don’t blame you, man. I never did. I tried sometimes, because it would have been easier on me.”

  “How?”

  “I dunno. Sometimes I’d think, like what if? If I called my dad for a ride. If you wanted to stay with that chick, so I got a ride home with someone else. If I walked home.” He laughed, but it was a sad laugh. Then he concluded, “But none of that would have happened. It was us—doing what we always did. It’s a waste of time to think about what ifs.”

  That was something Josie had said to me just before the accident: You spend too much time in the speculative past. It was funny that Gary and Josie were so different, yet they were both practical. I was the one with too much imagination and too many romantic illusions.

  “Did you know you can get PTSD from a car accident?” Gary asked.

  “Of course I know. I researched all this stuff while I was trying to get better.” In between escaping my anxieties by drinking and smoking up.

  “I thought I was being a wuss. It’s not like we went to Afghanistan or anything. But it’s a real thing.”

  “Yeah.” I realized that I never knew if Gary went for counselling afterwards. We had still been good friends, but we hadn’t talked about that night much. First it had been too raw, and then it had been too late. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much.”

  He shrugged. “No big deal. I get it.”

  “It’s not that I didn’t want to see you.”

  “Forget it. We’re good.”

  That was what your real friends were like. No matter where I went in the world, I could come back here and some things would be the same.

  “What’s she like?” Gary asked.

  “Josie?”

  He nodded.

  “She’s amazing. She’s so different from other people. I have no clue what she’ll say next. And she’s brave and confident.” I didn’t say the best part though, the fact that she never put any demands on me. Well, she made sexual demands, but that was nothing to complain about.

  “But what’s she look like?”

  I grinned. “She’s hot. Beautiful and hot.”

  “Do you have a photo of her?”

  I frowned and pulled out my phone. Josie wasn’t exactly the selfie type. Then I found the photo that Margie had sent me. “Okay, this is her at work, she works in movies. She doesn’t always look like this, of course.”

  Gar whistled. “Wow. She’s gorgeous. Not the kind of girl I would have thought you’d go for though.”

  “She’s not like Sunny, if that’s what you mean.”

  He stood up. “Look, is this Josie chick your new girlfriend or not?”

  “It’s a mess right now. She’s complicated.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Josie doesn’t think I should let the team cut me. That this accident and our accident were two different things, and I should confront them.”

  “They weren’t different things, Goldie. Neither one was your fault. Maybe you drank some, but you could drive okay. It wasn’t like we were weaving all over the road and hit a tree.”

  I didn’t totally agree with what he was saying, but maybe it was his way of dealing. So he didn’t have to wonder about whether he made the wrong choice by getting into my car. There were many different realities. “If it’s not my fault, then they can’t cut me. An accident can happen to anyone. I never drink and drive anymore.”

  Gary nodded. “So you’re going to go back and tell the coach that?”

  “Yeah, sure. I’m going to claim the beautiful woman, get my spot back on the team, and then ride off into the fucking sunset.”

  He smiled. “You better hurry, asshole. The season starts on Monday.”

  “Fuck me. I drove eight straight hours, and now I have to drive back.” I’d crash at home and head back to Vancouver tomorrow.

  “Next time, just call.”

  I laughed, but then I realized Gary had been pacing. That slight hitch in his walk always bothered me before, but now it was only a part of what made him unique.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Since you’ve got Josie now, I wanted to tell you—I asked Sunny out.”

  “You did?”

  “Yeah. I like her, well, everyone does. But I’ve liked her for a long time. Not while you guys were going out, but we’ve hung out and stuff. Then at a party two weeks ago, we kinda hooked up.”

  “Wow.” It was hard to imagine the two of them together.

  “I wanted to tell you in person.”

  “Go for it. Sunny’s great.”

  “And so beautiful,” Gary added.

  They would be a good couple. Gary worked hard, but he didn’t have a ton of imagination. Sunny had enough drive and ambition for both of them. And yeah, she was beautiful—in that conventional way. Not like Josie, of course. Nobody was like Josie.

  I started nodding. “I can see it, man. I can see it.”

  27

  Making a Save

  By the time I drove back to Vancouver, I was too exhausted to do anything but fall into bed. But when I woke up in the morning, I felt more optimistic than I had since the accident. I caught myself singing in the shower. I got dressed in a blue t-shirt that Josie had said she liked. I looked in the mirror and saw this goofy grin on my face. I laughed and said aloud, “Okay, let’s do this.”

  When I got to the hospital, I could hear the arguing before I even got in the room.

  “Cyn, I’m not going to your place. I want to go home.”

  “Believe me, I’d like nothing better. But the hospital will not release you without me signing a paper that states you’re going to be supervised. They don’t want you bleeding out alone, or whatever it is that’s going to happen.”

  “‘Bleeding out’ sounds like something that zombies or vampires do. If I have to spend a month at your place, I’ll be trying to bleed out.”

  “That’s very insulting. We have a lovely home, and there’s lots of room.”

  “You also have a very full schedule with the kids and your social life. I’m not going to fit into that and you know it. And I need my own space. Why don’t you guys chip in and get me a nurse?”

  “Believe me, I’d love to. But Richard and Daddy won’t pony up. Anyway, don’t you have anything left from the money Mom left you?”

  “Nope. Spent it all on my condo.”

  “If you had listened to me, you would have gotten a cheaper place and saved some money for a rainy day.”

  “It never rains in Vancouver, sis. Gosh, what do people who aren’t born into loving families like mine do?”

  “They go home with their boyfriends,” I said as I walked in the room.

  Josie’s eyes widened. For a moment I saw something flash over her face. Was it relief? That made me feel like I was right—she did care about me. And maybe she’d been testing me. Then her protective mask fell into place.

  “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be on the next Swiss Air flight?”

  “I came to take you home. Looks like I’m right on time.”

  Cynthia shook her head. “Didn’t JoJo break up with you the other day? Are you one of those concussed hockey players?”

  The whole family was gifted with offensive honesty. Well, I could be honest too.

  “Look, I seem to be the only one who actually wants to look after Josie. I will sign any necessary papers and make sure she doesn’t bleed out. Or in.”

  “What do you know about looking after sick people?” Cynthia asked. Josie didn’t say a word, but kept watching me.

  “Josie can tell me what she needs, and that’s what I’ll do for her. That’s how our relationship works—communication.”

  Cynthia turned to her sister. “Is this what you want? Do you want this big... athlete to change your tubes or whate
ver?”

  Josie shook her head. “No. Absolutely not.”

  I smiled with maximum charm. “Sorry, Cynthia. Do you think that Josie and I can have a few minutes alone to talk?”

  She eyed me suspiciously, but nodded. “You haven’t got long. The nurse is coming back in a few minutes to go over her at-home care.”

  “It won’t take that long,” I assured her.

  “Someone’s overconfident,” Josie muttered.

  She was sitting in a wheelchair. I pulled up a chair and sat beside her. Her hands were folded in her lap and I reached over and took them in mine.

  “I missed you,” I told her.

  “It’s only been a couple of days.” Josie sounded scornful, but there was a tiny smile on her face.

  “It’s an eternity if you don’t know what the future will be.”

  “Stop talking in zen koans.”

  “I’m talking about our future.” I took in a deep breath. “We don’t have much time, so I’ll get right to it. I took your advice and did a lot of thinking about what I want. I’ve decided what I want most is to be with you.”

  She rolled her eyes. “That’s not a career decision.”

  “But it is a life decision. And everything else falls out from that. Do you want to be with me?”

  She didn’t answer right away. I noticed that she was wearing makeup, and looking more like herself. She still looked fragile and vulnerable though.

  “I don’t want you to look after me.”

  “That’s not an answer to my question. I love you, Josie. Maybe you don’t love me today... but do you think you could... maybe someday... feel the same way?”

  Her gaze dropped, and all I could see was her long eyelashes trembling over her cheeks.

  “Yes.”

  The word was so faint that I could barely hear it. But my soul expanded in that moment.

  I squeezed her hands. I wanted to hug her, but I knew her ribs were too sore. And I also knew not to make a big deal out of her answer. “Okay. That’s settled. Let’s get you home. If you don’t want me to look after you, we’ll make other arrangements.”

  We kept sitting there, wordless. Josie’s hand crept out and caressed the top of mine. The whole sterile room was bathed in a golden energy for me. Whatever happened next, we were going to be together.

  The nurse walked in. It was the same one who had put my flowers in water.

  “Oh goodness! Your handsome boyfriend is back. Is he going to be taking you home instead of your sister? Lucky you.”

  Cynthia appeared at the door. “That’s a matter of opinion. What have you decided, JoJo?”

  “I’ve decided that the guy who put me in the hospital can take me out.”

  I laughed. “Seems only fitting.”

  Cynthia snorted. “Well, I’ll listen to all the aftercare instructions anyway. In case you change your mind later.”

  The nurse went over everything I would need to do to look after Josie. The main things were to look out for signs of an infection and to make sure that Josie didn’t exert herself.

  “At night, try to make her as comfortable as possible. She’s going to have a lot of trouble sleeping, so you might want to consider a body pillow.”

  “What about sex?” Josie asked.

  “What?” The nurse’s eyebrows disappeared into her bangs.

  “Can I have sex right away? That helps me to get to sleep.”

  “Josephine, don’t do this,” Cynthia said in a pained voice.

  The nurse shrugged. “Well, you didn’t have any trauma in that area. But no strenuous exertion which puts too much pressure on your ribs and lungs. And I think you’ll find a lot of discomfort in positions that put any kind of pressure on your ribs.”

  Josie nodded. “He’s very flexible. We’ll be good.”

  Cynthia groaned. The nurse handed Josie a bag with her belongings in it, and I wheeled her out of the room. When we were in the elevator, Cynthia pulled out her cellphone.

  “Well, I should get your number, Eric. If you’re going to be looking after Josie, we need to stay in touch. I’m sure there will be things she needs.”

  Cynthia seemed to have accepted that I was going to be around, and she warmed up a little. We exchanged numbers. As we got out of the hospital into the sunshine, I noticed how oddly Josie was dressed. She was wearing a very feminine dress and flip-flops. I’d never seen her in a dress before.

  “What are you wearing?” I asked her.

  “Isn’t this awful? I can hardly wait to take it off. And you haven’t even seen the granny panties yet.”

  “JoJo! It’s a Tory Burch dress. It’s gorgeous, and the only reason I brought it was that it’s too small for me. If you’d only given me the keys to your place, I could have gotten your own clothes and shoes. And underwear.”

  We got to my loaner car, and Josie got out of the chair and eased herself slowly into the passenger side. I could see she was in a lot of pain, but I let her do it herself. My eyes met Cynthia’s, and she gave me a slight nod.

  “I’ll take this wheelchair back,” Cynthia offered. Then she leaned down to the passenger door. “I’m going to come by and see you tonight after James comes home.”

  I couldn’t hear Josie’s unenthusiastic response as I went to the driver’s side. I waved at Cynthia and started up the car.

  “Why do I feel that every time I let you drive, I’m taking my life into my hands?” Josie groused.

  “And yet you keep doing it.” I reversed and pulled out of the parking lot. “Must be love.”

  “Or insanity. But really, what’s the difference?”

  28

  Home Alone

  “Ahhh, home.”

  Josie’s face lit up when she walked into her condo. She still moved slowly, but looked more natural and relaxed. “You know what I’m going to do? First, I’m taking a long shower. Then I’m going to get dressed in real clothes. Then food.”

  She went to the kitchen and poked around. The chocolates I’d given her were still on the counter, and she popped one into her mouth. Her eyes closed, and she swayed. “Yum!”

  “Man, you’re happy,” I said.

  “I love being home. Don’t you?”

  I shook my head. Sure, I liked going back to Nelson, but my mom’s glitter den didn’t make me act like this. But then, I hadn’t created a nest for myself as Josie had. And I kept putting things off until I had made it, which might be never. “Teach me how to enjoy every moment like you do.”

  She shook her head. “At the risk of sounding like a shoe commercial—just do it.”

  “Okay.” I gently placed my hands on her shoulders and kissed her. Her lips were soft, and she tasted like chocolate. Kissing her again made me feel great. It also made me horny, but I didn’t think I should push that.

  I leaned my forehead against hers. “So, are you okay to take a shower alone?”

  She squinted at me. “Is that an offer?”

  I blushed. “Oh no. I didn’t mean sex.”

  Josie grinned. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Okay, I’ll go and get some groceries then. I can make dinner later.”

  I went home first and packed a bag so I could stay over. Then I got some groceries. When I got back, the place was buzzing. Cynthia was already there with her two children.

  “Uppy-uppy,” called out a little toddler with outstretched arms in front of Josie. She was dressed in a tiny striped dress and matching shoes.

  “No, Cordelia,” Cynthia said. “Auntie JoJo can’t lift anyone for a while.”

  “I can pick you up,” I offered. She hid behind her mom at that suggestion. One suspicious eye glared at me from behind Cynthia’s skirt.

  “Who are you?” A little boy demanded. In his blue shirt and khaki pants, he was better-dressed than me.

  “This is Eric,” Josie explained. “He’s my boyfriend.”

  That was a first. I beamed, and Josie introduced Cordelia and Zachary.

  “Nice to meet you guys.” I held
up the bags. “I’m going to put the groceries away.”

  When I came out to the living room, Josie was sitting on the couch with her nephew and niece around her. She was reading a picture story from her iPad, and making funny voices for each character. Her genuine sweetness with the kids was unexpected but heart-warming. Josie had revealed so many new layers of herself this week.

  Cynthia was watching me watch Josie. “They insisted on coming to visit. It’s probably too much for her.”

  “I’ll make sure she gets to bed early.”

  Her eyes narrowed, and she hissed at me, “And gets rest. No monkey business.”

  I chuckled. “Don’t worry. I want her to get better as much as you do. I think the biggest problem will be getting Josie not to overexert herself.”

  “There’s still a lot I’d like to know about you,” Cynthia said. “But Josie said it’s not my business.”

  “Ask me anything,” I offered.

  “Okay, how come you—”

  Josie interrupted, “Down, Cyn.”

  “Auntie Jojo,” Zachary scolded. “That’s what you say to dogs, not moms.”

  “Well, tell your mom to behave then.”

  He giggled. “Behave, Mom.”

  Cynthia frowned. “We better get going, James will be home soon. I just wanted to check and make sure that everything was okay. And drop off the basket.” She motioned towards a large cellophane wrapped basket with various gourmet foods in it.

  “Oh, wait. Come on, guys.” Josie got up slowly and went to the kitchen with the kids trailing behind her. There was whispering and then the kids emerged with bulging cheeks.

  “You didn’t give them treats, did you? They’ll never eat their dinner.”

  “Noof,” said Josie. Her cheek was bulging too. The three of them began giggling. A little dribble of brown ran down Cordelia’s chin.

  “Jojo, not chocolate! Now they’ll be wired as well as not hungry.”

  They left with Cynthia still clucking with disapproval.

  “I’m the bad aunt,” Josie declared happily.

  “The kids seem to enjoy it.”

  “Cynthia is kind of an intense mom. I figure that they need some balance.”