Riley's Baby Boy

by Karen Rose Smith

  It was fine that they were hot, but what else were they? Living here was pushing her to try to figure out all that. Now she did snatch her hand back, went over to the dresser where she’d laid a notepad and pen.

  “I’ll make that list,” she said brightly. “I won’t have to leave until about eight, so I can feed Derek before I go. But I’ll make sure there are bottles in the fridge.”

  Riley looked...frustrated. She was feeling a little frustrated, too. The problem was, what they would have to do to lead them out of that frustration could complicate their lives even more. She didn’t want to deal with more complications. She just wanted to live with the one she had.

  Riley obviously sensed her withdrawal, obviously sensed she wanted him to leave. But he didn’t leave without twitching her ponytail, without giving her a wink and saying, “See you in the morning.”

  * * *

  Riley didn’t know how Brenna did it!

  She’d left after Derek’s second feeding this morning. Riley had thought the day would be fairly easy. After all, he’d helped take care of his niece and nephews. He had Brenna’s schedule.

  But...

  An infant didn’t care about the schedule and required more than feeding and a diaper change, and he didn’t sleep all the time as Riley expected he might. He’d no sooner bathed Derek—which had scared the bejesus out of him because he was afraid he’d drop him—than the baby needed to be fed again. Okay, maybe the bath had taken a little bit too long. Then after he’d been fed, he was fussy and had to be rocked and walked. After he’d been rocked and walked, he’d had to be changed again. Not to mention there was laundry that had piled up, lunch skipped and a whole lot of crying in the afternoon.

  How in the hell did Brenna do it? he asked himself again. Maybe he just didn’t have her magic touch. And he’d thought joint custody would be a cinch? Caring for an infant would be a cinch?

  When Brenna had called in the middle of the afternoon and asked how everything was going, he’d replied nonchalantly, “I’ve got it under control.” If she needed more time at the store, fine.

  But it wasn’t so fine. He hadn’t even thought about supper, and after her day at work, she’d need something hot, too. So he did something he never thought he’d do. He called his dad at the Shamrock Grill.

  Riley had settled Derek in his swing and for the first time today, he actually seemed content. When his father came on the line, Riley asked, “What’s the special today, Pop?”

  “Why do you want to know what the special is when you’re there and I’m here?”

  He didn’t need his dad being contrary. “I’m thinking about driving in and picking up two dinners.”

  “Brenna doesn’t want to cook?”

  “It’s not just Brenna’s job to cook,” he snapped.

  His dad went silent, then asked, “What’s wrong, Riley?”

  “Why do you think anything’s wrong? I just want to know what the special is.”

  “I’ve spoken to you in the middle of war and you haven’t sounded this rattled. So what’s going on? Did Brenna go to New York and leave Derek with you?”

  “She’d never do that,” Riley muttered, sure of it. It would take an act of Congress to push her into joint custody. Maybe after today he knew the reason why. Moms and infants went together.

  “So then what’s the problem?” His father seemed to be getting impatient.

  Riley knew the restaurant was probably full and his dad had a lot to oversee there. He hadn’t wanted to tell his father about this, but maybe it was time they all stopped walking on eggshells. Maybe it was time for both families to look at the whole situation with a lot of honesty and perspective.

  “McDougall’s Department Store is having a bridal thing. So Brenna went in to the store today with her dad to work on it. I told her that was fine and I’d take care of Derek. But things got out of hand and I don’t think I’ll be able to cook supper, too. No big deal, Dad.”

  Again there was silence until his father asked, “So the bottom line is, in a backhanded way, you’re helping Angus McDougall with his store?”

  “Pop,” Riley said exasperated. “That’s not the way to look at it. Watching my own son is something I want to do. It also happens to help Brenna with something she wants to do.”

  “And you’re trying to get something in return?”

  “Maybe,” Riley admitted reluctantly. “I’m trying to cooperate with her. If we’re going to be parents together, we have to get along.” Though there was getting along and there was getting along, he realized, reliving their passionate kisses, reliving the feel of her in his arms.

  “So what time will she be home?”

  “In about an hour.”

  “I’ve got three specials today—meatloaf and mashed potatoes, ham and green beans and chili. Take your pick.”

  Brenna had told him she couldn’t eat certain foods because of breastfeeding. Better to stay away from spicy and salty. “Two meatloaf dinners would be great. I’ll drive in and pick them up as soon as I can get Derek changed and—”

  His father cut in. “I’ll bring them out.”

  “I know you’re busy. You don’t have to do that.”

  “This isn’t just a matter of you getting two dinners. I want to talk to you and Brenna about something.”

  Uh-oh. Riley didn’t like the sound of that. But he really had no choice. If his dad was determined to do something, he’d do it, now or later. They might as well get it over with now.

  An hour later when Brenna came home, Derek was crying again. Riley just couldn’t seem to do anything right to satisfy him. Rocking or walking quieted him for a few minutes, but then he got fussy all over again. Riley had to admit, he was relieved to see Brenna walk through the door.

  The thing was...she looked frazzled. In spite of that, over Derek’s crying, she asked, “How was your day?”

  He didn’t answer her. He didn’t have to with the baby crying because all her attention was on Derek. However, he had to give her credit, she stopped before she grabbed their son out of his arms.

  “Do you want me to take him?” she asked.

  “Sure,” he said casually, as if it didn’t matter at all. When she’d gathered Derek to her, he still wouldn’t stop crying.

  “Has he been like this all day?”

  Moment of truth. “Most of it,” Riley admitted. “I didn’t want you to worry, so I didn’t say anything when you called.”

  She went over to the sofa, pushed her hair out of her eyes, then laid Derek on his tummy on her lap. She drew circles on his back over and over again and he started to quiet.

  “You didn’t teach me that trick.”

  She tossed Riley a weak smile. “That’s because I didn’t think of it. I’ll have to write everything down in a notebook, then when you babysit, you’ll have it.”

  Babysit. He didn’t just want to be a babysitter. He wanted to be a father. Gathering up the towel he’d laid here, a bib he’d laid there, an extra onesie he thought he might change Derek into if he went to pick up dinner, he asked Brenna, “So how was your day?”

  “Hectic.”

  “Hectic how?” After all, he didn’t know exactly what she was doing for her father, or what was involved in the sale.

  “I had meetings this morning with Dad’s department managers, then I had to talk to his network guru to see if he could get the registry set up fast enough.”

  “Registry?”

  “Before Dad had the registry limited to china and silver and that kind of thing. But I wanted to make it a storewide registry which makes so much more sense. A couple could want something really odd for a wedding gift and it could still go in the registry, as long as their list is on their page.”

  “Page? You mean like a social networking site?”

 
“Sort of. A couple could do thank-yous from there for every present, have a wish list, anything they want. Dad really liked the idea, but actually getting it accomplished is something else.”

  “So you had meetings all day?”

  “Well, no. I actually rearranged the bridal department, chose the gowns for display, phoned my store to make sure everything would be shipped in time. On top of that I had to handle phone calls about orders in my store that I usually take care of.”

  She was juggling a lot and she was quieting Derek, too. “You might be nominated for Woman of the Year.”

  When he said the words, he meant them as a compliment, but Brenna’s face fell. In fact, if he was reading her right, she was close to tears.

  He would have sat on the sofa beside her and asked her what was going on, but his dad arrived. He heard the truck in the driveway and then his father was knocking on the door.

  Brenna looked down at Derek and concentrated on him, making those circles on his back even faster when Riley called to his dad, “Come on in.”

  His dad was carrying a large bag. He smiled at them both. “Two meatloaf dinners and I added two pieces of cherry pie. You ought to eat it while it’s hot. Do you want me to take the munchkin?”

  His father’s use of the term made Brenna smile. Maybe Riley had been all wrong about her being close to tears.

  “He’s been fussy all day,” she told his dad. “Are you sure you want to deal with that?”

  “I had fussy kids. Patrick was the worst. Still is.” He handed Riley the food and then opened his arms for the baby.

  When Brenna was sure Liam had Derek on his shoulder securely, and to Riley’s amazement Derek still was quiet, they took the containers of food into the kitchen.

  Liam stood and walked with Derek while she and Riley sat at the table.

  “You sure you don’t want to join us?” she asked him. “There’s more than enough here for three.”

  “That’s because I wanted you to have leftovers.”

  She sent him a grateful smile and Riley realized she could get along with his dad without a whole lot of extra effort.

  As they dug in, she seemed to be as hungry as he was.

  His father stood at the head of the table. “I know Brenna’s not going to be here real long, so I want to make a suggestion. I’d like to have a gathering at the Shamrock Grill to celebrate Derek’s birth. We can invite all our friends and family so they can get to know him. Not this Sunday, but maybe next Sunday?”

  Brenna put down her fork. “That’s really generous of you.”

  “Sure is, Pop.”

  Brenna glanced quickly at Riley and he suspected what that was about. Would this be an opportunity for their families to take a step toward each other?

  Riley didn’t particularly want to be around Angus McDougall, but the man was Derek’s grandfather.

  “Pop, and I don’t want you to fly off the handle, but did you think about asking the McDougalls to this celebration?”

  Riley watched as his dad glanced at Brenna and then his face turned a little ruddier. “No, I didn’t think about it.” His voice was clipped as if Riley should have talked to him about it one-on-one. But Brenna was involved in this, too, and it was time all of it was out in the open instead of hidden behind family names.

  “I want you to think about it, Dad. Maybe it’s time we all moved forward.”

  Derek suddenly seemed to wake up with the charged atmosphere in the kitchen. He began wiggling and then crying.

  Brenna stood immediately. “I’ll take him. I haven’t been with him all day and I missed him. You and Riley can talk.”

  And before Riley could remind her she hadn’t finished eating, she’d left the kitchen and gone down the hall to her room.

  He and his dad stared at each other. This was going to be one short conversation.

  Chapter Eight

  “Is he hungry?” Riley asked as he came into the living room and saw Brenna shifting Derek from one shoulder to the other.

  It was almost midnight and Brenna was exhausted. She’d been rocking, pacing and swinging the baby ever since she’d gotten home. He was fussy and unsettled and she wondered if he was catching her mood. She’d been going since his first feeding that morning, but she knew resting was out of the question. She had a baby to take care of.

  Riley had been on his computer, scheduling tours for the next week, trying to make phone calls between Derek’s crying spells. He’d watched Derek all day so she didn’t want to ask him to take over now. Besides, when she went back to New York, she’d be on her own again.

  “I just fed him an hour ago,” she answered Riley. “I don’t think that’s it. And I just changed him again. He’s just...not having a good day.”

  “He’s having a different day,” Riley said over the baby’s wail.

  Brenna shot him a quick glance.

  He shrugged. “He was in a routine. You were here taking care of him, then suddenly today it’s me. Maybe he didn’t like the change in schedule.”

  “Babies are flexible,” Brenna said loudly, trying to convince herself of it over Derek’s new cry.

  “Tell that to Derek,” Riley shot back with a grimace. “Why don’t you call Shannon? Maybe she could suggest something.”

  “It’s midnight.”

  “She’s my sister, Brenna. She won’t care. Do you want me to call her?”

  Brenna just kept walking and rocking and cooing, but she felt close to tears. She knew part of that was sheer exhaustion. But the other part—living with Riley, trying to be a mom, trying to work, trying to be a good daughter—were all stacking up.

  No stress there, she thought, really wanting to just scream like Derek.

  Riley plucked the phone from its stand and went to the bedroom. Brenna knew he was calling Shannon. He was a former marine—he didn’t wait...he acted. If Shannon had the magic cure, she’d take it. She just hadn’t wanted to admit she couldn’t cope...couldn’t handle it all.

  She blinked fast, knowing Liam’s visit had stirred up a hornet’s nest, too. Just imagining her parents and Riley’s family in the same room made her practically break out in hives.

  Riley was shaking his head when he came back into the living room. “She asked if you gave him a warm bath.”

  Brenna said, “Already did that. I tried the bear, too. Nothing is working.”

  “The only thing Shannon could think of was to try some music.”

  Music? Brenna hadn’t thought of that.

  “Come on,” he said. “I’ll wheel the crib into my bedroom. What do you think he’d like? Irish folk songs? Dad gave me a CD last Christmas.”

  “We can try anything.” She really didn’t care. She just didn’t want Derek to make himself sick.

  In no time at all Riley had pushed the crib into his bedroom and switched on his CD system. Then he took Derek from her arms and pointed to the bed. “Rest.”

  “I can’t with Derek crying like this.”

  “Only one of us has to walk him at a time. Rest. If he doesn’t quiet down, I’ll hand him back to you.”

  He’d brought the wooden rocker in, too, and now he sat in it, laid the baby on his knees as Brenna had done earlier and rubbed the little boy’s back in time with the music.

  Derek cried for another five minutes, and Brenna was ready to hop up, grab him and try feeding again. But then his cries lowered in volume. As the music played, his whimpers subsided. Riley rocked and Derek seemed to relax with him. Before long, all was blessedly quiet.

  Brenna sat on the side of the bed, not wanting to make a sound, not wanting to get Derek started again. With the worry of a new mom, she felt the weight of the responsibility she had toward her son and tears threatened again. Quickly she ducked her head so Riley couldn’t see. She couldn’
t seem to stop the welling of emotion.

  Gently without a sound, Riley lifted Derek into his arms, stood and carefully laid him in the crib. Their son seemed to be sound asleep. The music had lulled him into peace.

  After a moment of hesitation Riley sat beside her on the bed. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  She would not let him see her cry. She would not. She shook her head.

  He dropped his arm around her shoulders. “Brenna, come on. Talk to me.”

  All of her doubts spilled out. “What if I’m not a good enough mother? Am I really going to be able to keep my career going? If I cut my hours, what will happen to the progress I’ve made in the industry? What if my day care falls through?” The questions seemed important and monumental, and she didn’t have any of the answers.

  His fingers stroked her arm. “You’re tired right now, and everything looks bigger than it should. Of course you’re going to be a good mother. Why wouldn’t you be?”

  She didn’t want to answer, but she knew she had to put it into words. Her voice was low. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m too selfish. I know I have to put Derek first, no matter what. But how do I balance that with what I need, too? How do I balance that with working and making a life for us?”

  He nudged her into his shoulder. “You’ll figure it out. We can figure it out.”

  “What would have happened if you hadn’t been here tonight? What would have happened if you hadn’t called Shannon?”

  “You probably would have walked with Derek all night, or taken him for a drive...or something. You’re resourceful, Brenna. Today I think you just got a little overwhelmed. After all, in addition to everything else, you’ve taken on this sale of your dad’s.”

  When she stiffened, he leaned away. “Now don’t get defensive. You know it’s a lot more than you planned on while being here.”

  That was true. Just dealing with Riley and their situation would have been enough, let alone keeping up with what was going on in New York.

  They hadn’t had a chance to talk since his father had visited, but if he could bring up her dad, she could bring up his. “So what do you think about what your dad wants to do?”