Learning to Breathe: Part One - The Collective - Season 1, Episode 3

by Ellie Masters

  “Stop,” he commanded. “There’s no reason to be nervous. Nothing will happen that you don’t want to happen. You have your word, and you must trust me to honor it.”

  He lifted her hands to his mouth and kissed the backs of her knuckles. Then he released her and took a seat on the couch opposite. The Jacuzzi bubbled between them, the white froth of turbulent bubbles beckoning hedonistic desires. He sat as if he had no intention of pushing this to its logical conclusion. She stood, staring, confused and excited, completely mystified by him taking a step back.

  She’d expected him to strip her out of her dress and fuck her senseless. But other than kissing the backs of her hands, he seemed content to remain on the couch and stare into the distance. Confused didn’t even begin to describe her emotions.

  “Take your heels off,” he suddenly ordered. “You don’t need those anymore.”

  Sally arched a brow, considered him, and then complied if only because it gave her something to do.

  “Pull your hair back off your shoulders. You shouldn’t hide when you’re with me. I love your hair, but I like looking at all of you even more.”

  His commands excited her, twisted her stomach into knots and fluttered her pulse. Nearly breathless, she pulled her hair back and watched the leisurely trail of his admiration.

  It felt right to follow his commands. Solid. There wasn’t a better word she could think of at the moment, and while she enjoyed pleasing him, something simmered behind her willingness to comply with his wishes.

  “How long has it been? How long since you allowed a man to openly admire you?”

  The question gave her pause. She answered immediately, with more honesty that she was prepared to give. “Never,” she breathed restlessly. “Thomas wasn’t like this.”

  Derek leaned back against the couch. The hot tub swirled and bubbled. Steam rose from the churning waters creating a warm mist of obscurity. It was a shroud she willingly hid behind as it provided a measure of safety and security from Derek’s heated gaze.

  “You must miss him very much,” he said.

  “Too much, I think. At least that’s what George says.”

  Her best friend had been at her to get back out into the world. Time to move on, he’d said. Get out there and learn how to breathe again! Stop being a damn mushroom. Talk to the living instead of the dead!

  “Yes, your friend. You called him, right?”

  She nodded. “When you left me alone. George knows where I am, and the name of your yacht.”

  Derek winked. “Smart girl. It’s important for you to trust me, but more important to see to your safety. Hopping aboard a boat full of strangers is not without risk.”

  “I trust you.”

  “Do you?”

  “Yes,” she said, if somewhat hesitantly. There was no way to explain to Derek all the emotions swirling in her head, and frankly, it was none of his business. She took a risk, a calculated risk, something she was comfortable in taking.

  “How do you feel? Right now? How do you feel?”

  “I don’t know.” She felt all kinds of things but wasn’t sure what kind of answer he was seeking.

  “Do you like it when I kiss you?”

  “I do.”

  “Do you like it when I take charge?”

  She nodded.

  “How about when I tell you what to do?”

  “I—I don’t mind it.” In fact, she liked that best of all.

  “Does it excite you when you please me?” He didn’t waste any time with the directness of his questions. The pressure of his tone demanded an answer.

  “I—I think so.”

  “Think so?” He shook his head. “Try again. I want you to think about your answer and answer as honestly as you can.”

  She hated disappointing him, but did it excite her? She liked how he smiled when he asked her to do something, and she obeyed. The corner of his mouth lifted with…with what? It wasn’t a smugness tugging at his expression. It was something more. Pride? No. That wasn’t right. Arrogance? Definitely not that.

  It was something deep, a connection building between them. A sense of possession? Ownership? Maybe? But even that didn’t touch whatever this nebulous feeling in her heart hinted at. Following his commands bonded her to him, as if she had given him a precious gift. Was that it? Was it as simple as the fact he appreciated what she gave?

  He stayed on his side of the Jacuzzi while she sorted through her thoughts.

  Did it excite her to please him? No, but it felt right.

  She gave him the honest truth. “No.”

  “No?” Spreading his arms out wide, he tilted his head back and blew out a long breath.

  She walked over, needing to be close. Her eyes cut to the bubbles swirling in the water, and her insides twisted with that same fury. He lifted his head, a sense of great disappointment filling his eyes.

  She stood beside him and ran her fingers through his dark hair, brushing the strands away from his face. Then she crawled into his lap, kissing his cheek as he brought an arm around to cradle her in his embrace.

  “I’ve never felt anything like this before,” she admitted. “I don’t know what it is.”

  “I need…certain things,” he said, resignation and regret rumbled in his voice. “I’ve tried living without, but it never works out for me.”

  She hurried to explain. “Pleasing you is nice, but it doesn’t excite me. I don’t know what that really means, to be honest. I’m not the kind of woman who gets excited by much.” Although she desperately wished that would change. Maybe it would take a man like Derek to peel her out of her shell and let her experience life with the richness it deserved.

  “I like when you tell me what to do. What woman doesn’t like a take charge kind of guy?” And there was compulsion there, too. His voice, the looks he gave, his assurance she would do exactly what he said, all of it melded into an inexplicable force which had her willing, even wanting, to do as he asked.

  “I’ve never experienced anything like this before.”

  Thomas had been content to let her make all the important decisions in their marriage. From deciding where to eat out to the home they bought, she’d borne the brunt of all the major decisions, even the tiny ones.

  His left brow cocked up. Interested in what she had to say, and encouraging her to continue.

  “Excite is probably the wrong word, but I like how you react.”

  Confusion pinched his brows. “How’s that?”

  She bit her lower lip, looking for the right words. “I’m not really sure.”

  “I need you to explain.”

  “I’m trying.”

  He pushed errant strands of hair behind her ear and stared deep into her eyes. “You’re fucking beautiful, Miss Sally Levenson. I’m not sure I’ll be able to let you go.”

  “Don’t.” The word rushed out of her mouth before she could control it, but the truth finally hit her. It hit her with all the subtleness of a freight train.

  “Don’t?”

  She shook her head, a tremulousness building in her core and spreading to her limbs. Maybe that was what excitement felt like. “Don’t let me go.”

  She placed a hand against his chest and pushed back. “Left to myself, I’d rather run from whatever this is than face it. Don’t allow me to miss out on becoming whatever this is…what you want me to become.”

  His body jerked, and his breath hitched. Beneath her bottom, his cock stirred, becoming firmer, longer, and insistent. Sally didn’t dare move, waiting for Derek to take control of the mess of her verbal garbage.

  “You don’t know what you’re asking of me,” he said.

  Truthfully, she didn’t, but he’d hinted at something more. She wanted to know if that had been what had been missing in her life. It was also painfully clear that she’d never find out on her own.

  “I’m asking you to show me. Lead me.”

  “I need control. I crave it. I demand it. I won’t accept anything but, and I’m not wil
ling to compromise. You need to understand what you’re asking.”

  Her pulse thundered in her ears, racing around with realization she had no idea what she was committing to by saying yes.

  “I don’t understand, but I want to try.” She wanted to open up that door and get a taste of whatever this was. Going back to her stale existence filled her with more terror than accepting what Derek offered.

  “If you trust me enough to surrender,” he began, “you give yourself to me. Your will becomes mine. You would agree to bind yourself to me, and accept my control. And you’ll agree to grant me authority to ensure it. But, you need to give me that power.”

  “Power?”

  “Yes.”

  “And if I change my mind?”

  “You always have your word. Use it and this ends. I let you go, and you walk away.”

  “But…” She didn’t want to walk away.

  He placed a finger over her lips. “It’s okay to have doubts. To fear what’s happening. To rebel against my wishes. I’m not taking away who you are, but I’ll deal with it as I see fit. Force you if I must. Unless you say your word.”

  “You don’t understand. I’m going to…”

  He silenced her with a kiss, then gathered the hair at her nape, tugging it gently. “You asked me not to let you run. Don’t worry. I won’t.” His lips brushed hers again. “I won’t because I want this as much or more than you, and unlike you, I know exactly where we’re headed.”

  That comment both terrified and thrilled her. Her breaths came shallow and fast. Warmth hummed in her veins and an insistent throb pulsed in her pussy. She needed him, and by the rock hardness of his cock, he needed her too.

  He held her entranced by nothing more than the power in his eyes. The wind buffeted them as the yacht cut through the water. The lights from the Golden Gate Bridge speared through the night, rippling across the water until devoured by the inky darkness. The city pulsed with the press of humanity, but this was their moment. The steady beat of his heart synched with hers, slowing her frantic breathing, calming her with his influence.

  “Teach me,” she whispered. “Show me what you want.”

  Chapter 13

  A Jacuzzi

  Derek switched topics, asking questions about Thomas, how they’d met, bits and pieces of their marriage, and their lives. He was sincere, interested, and concerned when she mentioned Thomas’ diagnosis and the year before his death.

  She had no idea how long they talked. Derek revealed very little about himself, whereas she revealed almost everything. It didn’t bother her. It felt right to tell him everything, like he’d gained access to that piece of her through whatever agreement they’d struck.

  When her emotions threatened to overwhelm her, Derek held her tight, kissing the top of her head and brushing away her tears. His words soothed her. His hands warmed the chill of her heart. The gentle kisses eased her fears, non-threatening, but clear that he was in control. And although he guided the conversation, piecing together her life, not once did he intrude. When she hesitated, he withdrew, respectful of her need to keep some things private.

  Finally, when their conversation lulled, he reached around her back and slowly lowered the zipper to her dress. “It’s time we enjoyed the Jacuzzi,” he murmured.

  She quelled her need to point out she didn’t have a bathing suit. It was clear there would be no need. He unclipped her bra which fell away with the front of her dress. Derek lifted her off his lap, and steadied her on her feet, letting her dress fall.

  Stepping free of the fabric, she fought the urge to cover her breasts. He’d told her not to hide from him. To allow him to admire her body. She felt funny, and squirmed a little, but then Derek slipped his fingers under her panties turning her thoughts in a different kind of tailspin. All worries about him looking at her breasts faded. He bent to his knees, and very slowly, eyes level with her pussy, nostrils flaring as he breathed her in, he peeled off her panties.

  Trembling, and not from the chill of the night air, she struggled with how to hold her hands. Should she straighten her fingers? Or spread them? Maybe curl them? And her arms? Should she let them hang loosely by her sides, or cross them over her belly? Maybe she should wrap them around her waist? Put them on his head? And where was she supposed to look? Out, over the water, or down at the top of his head as he leaned in and…dear God!

  His tongue darted out and licked her clit. She gasped as an electric bolt of pleasure shot from her pussy and delved deep to settle with an unbearable ache for more.

  With that lick, he banished any feelings of insecurity or shyness she had left.

  He stood and gestured to the hot tub, a wicked glimmer in his eyes. “Be careful getting in,” he said.

  The water was hot, not uncomfortably so, but as she sank into the swirling water, warmth flooded her body. Her muscles relaxed. Had she been that tense? Too late, she’d forgotten to tie up her hair. It swirled around her, tossed by the waters. She sighed and closed her eyes, luxuriating in the tingly caress of the bubbles. When she opened her eyes, she was treated to a wonderful surprise.

  Derek’s tie and jacket lay on the seat. He added his dress shirt to the pile and caught her staring as he undressed. She flicked her eyes away, ashamed.

  “Sally,” he commanded, “Don’t do that. Look at me.”

  Reluctantly, she pulled her eyes back to his face.

  “No,” he said. “Look at me. I belong to you just as much as you belong to me. I want you to feel comfortable around me, looking at me, touching me…pleasing me…”

  Holy hotness. He could look like a toad, but as long as he spoke to her like that, she wouldn’t care what he looked like. But Derek was no toad.

  With his shirt off, she reveled in his smooth, nearly hairless chest. Sculpted pecs greeted her inspection and ripples of muscle cascaded down his abdomen. At his hips, on either side, that V-cut indentation of muscle hinted at what lay beneath his trousers.

  His eyes heated with her examination. The muscles of his forearms, shoulders, and neck rippled under the moonlit sky. Any woman would be lucky to have this man, but somehow she had caught his interest.

  If he was a ten on that stupid high school rating scale, Sally rated no more than a six, maybe a seven on a good day with a lot of makeup. Scrap that. She’d never known how to properly apply makeup. Most days, she went without.

  Perhaps, she needed to admit the non-permanence of this thing between them. Once he truly got to know her, his interest would wane. Which left her where? Leave now? Couldn’t do that, she was in the middle of San Francisco Bay on his yacht. Should she simply enjoy the evening and chalk it up as an unforgettable experience?

  “The gears in your head are spinning,” he said. “Tell me your thoughts.”

  Oh, hell no. He wasn’t getting those.

  “That wasn’t a request. Without honesty, none of this works.”

  She wouldn’t lie, but she didn’t have to answer his question. “Seeing you…” Her gaze cut to the waist of his pants, where he was in the process of undoing the buckle and unfastening the fly.

  “Yes?”

  “It makes me wonder…”

  “What?”

  “Why me?”

  “Don’t ever doubt my interest, again. That is the second time you’ve asked me. I want you. I find you irresistible and I want nothing more than to make you mine…in every way.”

  Her gaze fell, ashamed of the reprimand, and a thrill ran through her. In every way, she wanted him too.

  Derek snapped his fingers, drawing her attention back to him. He undid the button to his trousers and unzipped his pants, revealing the long length of his hardened cock. “See what you do to me. Look how excited you make me. That’s the power you have.” He lowered his pants.

  Beautifully hard and engorged, his cock was long and thick, with ropy veins along the surface. Dark red and swollen, the bulbous head glistened with a drop of pre-come at the tip.

  He grabbed his cock and stroked
it, watching her watch him.

  “Do you see this? How hard you make me?” He stood before her, aroused and completely unashamed, as he stroked himself from root to crown.

  Thomas never touched himself like that. Not where she could see.

  This was primal. Raw. How incredibly arousing to see a man so confident with his body that he would dare to touch himself in front of her. Her mouth felt like wool, her tongue thick and incapable of forming words. He was magnificent, and for now, completely hers. There was no way she’d be able to fit him in her mouth, but she wanted to do just that, kneel before him and bring him unbridled pleasure.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he ordered. His eyes glinted in the light.

  She glanced sideways, trying to think of something she could say that sounded plausible. The boat? No? The stars? Corny. The moon? He’d see right through her.

  Derek came to stand by the edge of the Jacuzzi. “No lies, that’s our deal. If you don’t tell me what you’re thinking, then I can’t please you the way I want. Now, what dirty thought was going through that mind of yours?” His brows quirked with amusement and the sternness of his look told her he wasn’t going to let her wiggle out of an answer.

  Sally gulped and sunk deeper into the water until it touched her chin. Just like before, he pulled out the truth. “I was wondering how I would ever fit you in my mouth.”

  He laughed, releasing his hold on his cock. He sat on the edge of the Jacuzzi, and dangled his legs in the water. “Come here, and lets find out.”

  Her eyes widened. “Now?”

  “I can’t wait to feel that pretty little mouth on my cock, or how it feels jabbing the back of your throat. Don’t keep me waiting. Put your lips around my cock, now.” He growled the command.

  She came to him and put her hands on the edge of the Jacuzzi. He spread his legs, reached for her, and lifted her for a kiss. When he released her, he positioned her mouth over his waiting cock.