by Jenny Siegal
Although I’m tempted to order a beer, I decide against it and stick to Diet Coke. Drinking alcohol when I’m around Dominic probably isn’t a good idea anyway. It would weaken my already shaky defenses.
“Do you come here often?” He winks at me, making me laugh, and my body relaxes. This isn’t going to be awkward. We are just two friends, hanging out, even after our conversation at the lake. Yeah, right.
“First time and you?”
“No, I’ve been with the guys from the band a couple of times.”
“Where do you normally take girls when you go on a date?” I ask twirling my straw, but I don’t miss the darkening of his eyes.
“I don’t normally take girls out on dates.” He shrugs, ducking his head sheepishly.
“So, you really do just sleep with them and never call them?” I ask incredulously.
He nods and has the decency to look a little embarrassed. “I’ve never met anyone who I’ve actually wanted to spend time with.”
That I can relate to. I never went on dates, either, and I certainly didn’t want to see any of the guys I slept with again. But I can't tell him any of that.
“The funny thing is that a lot of the time I wondered why I did it. The sex wasn’t even always that good, and usually I felt worse about myself afterward.” He leans back in his chair.
“Tell me about it,” I mutter under my breath. Dominic’s eyes jerk to meet mine. Shit, please tell me that he didn’t hear me. He looks at me for a beat but lets it go, thankfully.
“What about you, then? I’ve never seen you with anyone.” He leans toward me, propping his elbows on the table.
“That’s because I spend all my time with you. Most people think there is something going on between us.” I point out and mirror his actions.
“True but it doesn’t bother me.”
“No, me neither,” I concede.
“So, first date, how is that possible? Did you not date in high school?”
“Nope.” I shake my head emphatically.
“How the hell not?” It is his turn to look incredulous, and I blush.
“I don’t know; I just never dated. Never found anyone I liked enough, I guess.”
“But you’re not a virgin.” He cocks an eyebrow. It isn’t a question; he knows I’m not.
“No, you’ve already told me that you know I’m not so innocent.” I give him a sly smile.
“Well, how come?” he prompts me. This is getting too near to the truth, and I don’t want to have to tell him tonight. But I know he’s not going to drop it so I’ve got to give him something.
“I slept with star football player in high school,” I blurt out. He watches me expectantly, waiting for the story. “What I didn't realize was that he was 'on a break' from his girlfriend. Turns out, she wouldn't sleep with him and he was fed up. We hooked up at a party that she wasn't at. It wasn't what I thought it would be, but then I don't suppose it ever is. I hadn't intended on sleeping with him, but shit happens. I left the party, and he walked me home. Stupidly, I held out some hope that something would happen. How wrong was I?” My laugh is brittle, and I focus on swirling the ice around my drink with the straw. “When I got to school on Monday, it was all over the school that I'd slept with him. And, of course, his girlfriend had found out. I took the flak for it, like he had nothing to do with it.” Dominic stares at me, a horrified expression on his face.
“They got back together, and I was the villain. After that, I decided that I wasn't interested in getting involved with anyone. It's also why I don't have a lot of female friends.”
“What a bastard,” he states, and I laugh at the indignity he feels for what happened to me.
“I know. But he was young and stupid, and he’ll get his.”
“Is that why you’re fighting us so much?” he asks quietly watching me fiddle with my napkin. No way am I telling him any more tonight.
“It's one of the reasons.” I look up and meet his penetrating gaze. “This is all totally new to me Dominic, this…this attraction we feel, the way we are together, it freaks me out. I have never experienced anything like it before, and to be honest, I’m a bit scared.”
“What are you scared of?” Leaning further forward, he rests his arms on the table. It brings him closer to me and the busy restaurant melts into the background. It’s just the two of us now. He’s the only one I’m aware of. Here I am, baring my soul to him and confessing my deepest fears, but still trying to hide my darkest secrets.
I can’t look away from him; his green eyes are, stormy with emotion. “Scared I’ll get in too deep and then I’ll get hurt when it all falls apart.”
“But who’s to say that will happen?”
“Hello, I am the product of a relationship where my father didn’t even stick around long enough to learn my mother was pregnant. I’ve seen the countless dates she’s gone on. And do you know how many of them have lasted? None. They would never even come to the door or bring her flowers. So I’m a little jaded when it comes to happily ever after.” Even I flinch at the obvious bitterness in my voice.
“My parents have been together since they met in college, and although they have had their ups and downs, they are still very much in love.” There is something close to pride in his voice.
“Is that what you are aspiring to when you sleep with anything in a skirt? That doesn’t sound like you are looking for what your mom and dad have.” I don’t mean to sound scathing, but I think I probably do.
“I know it looks that way, but I haven’t met anyone that I want that with until—” I hold up my hand to stop him, knowing what is coming next.
“Don’t say it.” My voice is barely above a whisper.
“Why not? It’s the truth. I want you, Charlotte. Not just to sleep with you. Okay, I admit at first it was just about that. But I’ve told you that I will prove to you that you won’t be like all the others.” He laces his fingers through mine. I have never believed in happily ever after because I never thought I would get mine, but when I’m with Dominic, I have hope. As I look down at our joined hands and, realization slams into my chest, hitting me like a ton of bricks. That is what I want, my happily ever after—with him. And that scares me because as soon as I tell him what a slut I was, he’ll change his mind and he won’t want me.
“You’re right, you did.” He watches me for a minute before nodding his agreement, but I know he won’t let it lie for long.
Our food comes and all conversations stops when we start to eat as, it is delicious. I am not embarrassed to eat fajitas and make a mess in front of Dominic because he makes as much of a mess as I do. When I can’t eat any more, I pass my leftovers to him. God knows where he puts it all.
Once the waiter clears away the remains of our meal, Dominic leans forward again, resting on his elbows. The serious look on his face grabs my attention.
“What are you going to do when you graduate?” The edge to his voice makes me sit up straighter. Gone is the usual confident air about him, and he looks at a spot over my shoulder as he waits for me to answer.
“I don’t know,” I say evasively. “I was more concerned with getting here. I haven’t considered what I want to do when I finish.” Dominic doesn’t seem the type to have his future all mapped out for him, and I wonder where this is coming from.
“What about you? You only have another year after this one. Are you going to keeping playing in the band?” I turn his question back on him.
“I suppose it depends on the other guys. I didn’t think it would last this long, but it's fun. Most of the time,” he says cryptically, and now I'm intrigued
“Why most of the time?” A prickling sensation creeps over me, like spiders crawling up the back of my neck, and I can’t look away. Somehow, I know that whatever is coming next will change things.
Ignoring my question, he continues. “Did you think when you came to study here that you would be the girlfriend of a guitarist in a band?” The furrow between his eyebrows increases as h
is frown deepens.
Blood rushes through my ears caused by the pounding of my heart. Girlfriend! Although we have never defined what this is, it has been building and building, gathering momentum since the day we met. Now, I am powerless to stop what I feel for him.
“Is that what I am?” I hear the quiver in my voice and so must he because he reaches across the table to take my hands in his. As soon as his fingers intertwine with mine, the pounding of my heart slows a little.
“Yes, Charlotte, you are my girlfriend,” he says patiently, spelling it out for me slowly. “You are not like all the rest, and I’m not letting you go.” He squeezes my hands tighter to emphasize this.
There, he’s said it, and to be honest, I like the sound of that. I never thought I needed to hear it in those terms but now that he’s said it, it feels more permanent. Some of my anxieties fade, and I start to hope that maybe he won’t reject me when I tell him everything.
For now, I am content with being his girlfriend. Dominic's shoulders relax and the frown disappears now that he’s gotten that off his chest.
• • •
The waiter brings us the bill and Dominic is pulling money out his wallet when someone taps me on the shoulder. Turning around I see Grace standing with a sly smile on her face.
“What are you two doing here?” She looks back and forth between the two of us and Dominic cocks his head looking expectant; clearly, he's leaving me to explain this one.
“Um, well, we’re on a date actually.” Dominic’s mouth drops a fraction, and he looks just as shocked as Grace does that I’m not denying why we are here or try to pass it off as being “just friends.”
“I knew it,” she says triumphantly. “And here you were denying it yesterday; I’ve seen the way you are with each other. Here’s Pete now.” Grace smiles at her boyfriend as he approaches the table and wraps his arm around her waist.
“Hey, Dominic, Charlotte. I was just talking about you to my friend Curtis over there.” He points to a blond guy at another table. “I thought you and him might like to go out sometime. He’s coming to our next gig if you want me to pass on your number.” Pete keeps on talking, oblivious to the looks he is getting from everyone. Grace is willing her boyfriend to stop talking and shut up whereas Dominic’s face is like thunder and it looks like he is about murder Pete at any second. Thankfully, Grace saves him before Dominic does anything.
“Actually, baby, we’re interrupting their date. We should go and leave them alone. Have a nice time, you two.” Hastily, she ushers Pete away who is speechless and looking slightly worried at the expression on Dominic’s face.
When they are safely back at their table, I let go of the laughter I've been holding in. “What’s wrong with you?” I ask, knowing full well what has his panties in a knot.
“Wait until I get my hands on him, trying to set you up with his stupid friend,” he grumbles through gritted teeth, and I reach out for his hand to soothe him.
“Dominic, don't worry about it. He didn’t know and I’ve told you that blonds aren’t my type. Tall, dark and tattooed, on the other hand, totally are.” He gawks at me, and I can’t believe I’ve basically just admitted that he is exactly my type. What in the hell is happening to me and my carefully constructed I’m-not-interested facade. It’s crumbling right before my very eyes. Damn him.
“I knew I was your type,” he says triumphantly, unable to wipe the grin off his face.
“Yeah, well, get over yourself, Hudson,” I mutter and move to stand up. Dominic puts his arm around my shoulder pulling me tight into him. As we pass Pete's table, Dominic scowls at him while Grace winks at me and I try to hold my laughter in.
“You told her that we were on a date.” Dominic encircles me in his arms when we get outside. My hands rest on his biceps, and I realize I can now legitimately touch him without feeling bad about it. I take full advantage and run my hands up to his shoulders and down his chest before my hand settles on his abs.
“Well, we are, aren’t we? Who am I trying to kid, we are more than friends and you are trying to convince me so…”
“I’m glad you’re finally admitting that you want me like crazy.” He has that cocky look on his face, and I can’t help but laugh at him.
“You’re so full of it. You want me more than I want you. I’m still not sleeping with you.” I wave my finger at him. “But you can drive my car,” I concede as I walk around to the passenger side. He’s so easily pleased, I think as his face lights up.
“So, I’ve proved I’m worthy of driving your car. Now, I need to prove I’m worthy of your heart and then worthy of your body?” he asks as he climbs into the driver’s seat and puts the key in the ignition.
“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” Although I’m not sure which comes first—my heart or my body—but he’s got a good theory there.
“Good to know I have my work cut out for me.” He winks and leans over to give me a chaste kiss on the nose.
• • •
Dominic starts the engine and pulls out of the lot. It's been fun going out on a date with him. I never expected to have such a good time or for it to be so easy. Being friends with him is easy; I just hope the other stuff doesn’t complicate things. I start to let myself believe that this could work. If I take a chance on him, maybe he won’t break my heart.
I angle my body toward him and watch him drive. Why have I never noticed before how sexy he is driving my car? The last few times I’ve been in a lust-filled haze, after the pool hall incident and the picnic yesterday. Hmm, I might have to let him drive more often.
One hand grips the steering wheel lightly, his bicep muscles tense beneath his shirt while his other hand rests casually on the shift. He is looking straight ahead, but I see his mouth curl into a smile.
“Babe, you’re staring.” His low and rumbling voice reminds me of every time I’ve ever stared at him.
“You know you’re really sexy driving my car,” I say absentmindedly, not bothered about my lack of filter or my confession. He slowly turns to me, a sexy smile spreading over on his face.
“You think I’m sexy driving your car?” he clarifies, and I wish I could crawl into his lap and let him hold me. But that would only lead in one direction—a place I’m not sure I’m ready for, yet.
“Yeah, not just driving my car, but you know that already. All those countless women have no doubt told you.” In an instant, his face falls and his eyes flash dangerously. Shit, I do need that filter, after all. Why did I go and spoil it with that last comment.
The car jerks violently to the side, and I fall against the door as he pulls onto the side of the road. We skid to a halt and he kills the engine, turning toward me with eyes spitting fire. This is the angriest I've ever seen him, and I’m not sure I like being the one to cause this reaction. He takes my hands and pulls me closer to him so my face is inches from his.
“I don’t care about the ‘countless women,’ as you put it. Only you. Hearing that only means something to me when you are the one saying it.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean the last bit,” I say regretfully. He breathes out harshly and his hands move to my waist to pull me over the gearstick and onto his lap. I straddle him in the driver’s seat as he rests his forehead against mine, his breathing labored.
“When are you going to believe that you are not like all the others? The sooner you realize that, the better it will be for both of us.” His breath dances over my lips and fuels the longing that is bubbling inside me, threatening to spill over and consume me. My hands snake up through the hair on the back of his head, and I gently press my lips against his. His eyes widen fractionally in surprise and his mouth parts slightly to allow my tongue to sweep against his.
One hand moves up and buries itself in my hair, as he returns my kiss with equal fervor. He kisses along my jawline to my ear and his accelerated breathing betrays how much our kiss affects him. I tilt my head back allowing him better access to kiss down my neck.
Dom
inic’s hand moves around to the front and under the floaty material of my top. With no bra on it gives him easy access to brush his fingers against my bare skin. He smiles against my neck, clearly pleased there is nothing standing in his way. When he runs a thumb over my nipple, it hardens instantly; chills spread through my body and ripple down my body, cooling my scorching hot skin. A surge of pleasure rips through me when I rock against his erection and he groans in response. The guttural noise penetrates my lust-fogged brain, bringing me to my senses. I am so close to having sex with him in the front seat of my car. No, no, stop. It takes every ounce of my willpower to press a hand against his chest and gently push him back. When he pulls back, he looks at me with confusion in his glazed eyes.
“Are you okay, Charlotte?” he whispers with concern. I nod, unable to catch my breath and I can only gasp.
“I’m fine, I... I just think we should stop.” My voice is full of regret. I don’t want to stop him, but I need him to.
“Why?”
“I am not fucking you in my car,” I inform him with the usual bluntness that he's come to expect. A wide smile spreads over his face, and he rests his forehead against mine, his soft breath brushing over my cheeks. When he looks at me again, he is laughing softly but nods his head.
“Don’t say things like that. You’ve just made this even more difficult,” he whispers in my ear before kissing me again softly on the lips.
“I’m sorry; it’s not that I don’t want to,” I start but he cuts me off.
“Don’t be sorry, you’re right. The first time we sleep together will not be in your car,” he promises me.
“What about on the hood?” I smile at him and tilt my head to the side. His eyes darken and he kisses me quickly before helping me into the passenger seat.
“That will happen, too,” he promises me with a wicked grin. “Come on.”
• • •
It goes without saying that I am staying at his house. He doesn’t even ask me anymore, and I don’t bother pretending that I’m not going to stay. Even though I've said I won't sleep with him, I am pretty sure that I wouldn't put up much of a fight if he tried anything, especially after what almost happened in the car. It is getting harder and harder to fight our intense attraction toward each other. It is exhausting even to try, and I know I will cave at some point.
