by Jenny Siegal
He is slowly breaking down my resolve. Sometimes I forget why I am still resisting him but then I remind myself that he still doesn't know everything about me. If I tell him, there’s a good chance he’ll reject me. And where will that leave me? I'll be alone and broken-hearted. Panic seizes me when I even think about it, and I have to push down the fear that is building inside me.
Chapter Nine
Dominic leads me through to the kitchen and starts fussing, getting sodas out the fridge and then glasses. His nervousness actually makes me feel calmer. He's jumpy and that isn't like him. Ever since the car, he has avoided looking at me for too long, and it isn't until I take the soda from him that he finally meets my eyes.
“What’s wrong, Hudson?” I ask softly, tilting my head to the side.
A small, agonized sigh escapes him. “I want you, but I promised to be good. It's getting so damn hard.”
“Yeah, I can see that.” My eyes dip down to the outline of his erection visible through his jeans. Leaning against the kitchen counter, I watch him as I take a drink of my soda. The green of his eyes has darkened to an emerald shade, smoldering with want or is it need? I don't really care which.
Dominic was right about one thing, I never had aspirations of being a hot guitarist’s girlfriend (okay, I added the hot to that title, but he is). But when he calls me that, I like it. It makes me feel wanted and cherished—things I wasn’t bothered about until I met him. Now I’m in too deep. I’ve fallen for him, head over heels—he’s under my skin. This realization should freak me out, but it’s too late to do anything about it because I can’t keep him at arm’s length anymore—and I don’t want to.
He steps toward me, our bodies touching. Heat flows between us and his erection brushes against my thigh. Desperate to touch him, I run my hands up his chest, feeling his pounding heart. He watches me through lowered lashes. The tension in the air thickens, as we stand on the edge of fighting and denying our attraction, ready to take the leap. His hands skim up my sides, finding a way under the layers of my top before moving higher and softly brushing against the sensitive side of my breasts.
“Dominic,” I whisper, not sure if I want to encourage him or stop him.
“Yes, Charlotte.” His lips move, only inches away, and anticipation builds as I wait to feel his lips on mine. The second our lips meet all the doubts evaporate from my mind and my eyes flicker shut as his tongue wraps around mine. My body curves further into his as strong hands slide down to cup my ass. With no effort whatsoever, he lifts me onto the counter and stands between my legs, and I wrap them around him. It’s all too much to take in, and my scrambled brain can barely keep up. Warm kisses and slight nips of his teeth make me tremble. As he works his way down my neck, he hits every sensitive bit of skin until he meets the curve of my shoulder. His hands roam up my sides before his thumbs brush against my breasts, sparking pangs of pleasure through me. I forcefully fist my hands in his hair, anchoring myself to him.
Dominic picks me up and carries me through to the bedroom before setting me down on the bed. The break in our kissing is probably a good thing, even though I miss being in his arms the second he sets me down. He moves around the room quickly turning on lights while I kick off my shoes and settle against the headboard, trying to catch my breath. I press my finger to my lips; they feel plump and well kissed. The blush in my cheeks hasn't faded, and my whole body is raging with heat.
Once he's fussed enough, Dominic flops down on the bed beside me and I move willingly into his arms to rest my head on his chest. When he stretches his free arm above his head, his T-shirt rides up and exposes part of his rippled stomach. Seeing his tanned, muscular flesh does nothing for my frustrated state and my body hums like a tuning fork just being near him.
I’m itching to touch him, and without thinking, I reach out and move my fingers over his stomach muscles. They contract as soon as I make contact with them. I run my finger over the strip of dark hair that disappears into his jeans and his breath catches in the back of his throat as I continue to touch him.
“Charlotte?”
“Hmm?” I’m distracted as my hands move under his shirt to skim over the hard planes of his chest. Dominic is having trouble breathing and exhales unevenly, but I can’t stop. It’s like something is taking over, and I want to see how far I can push him.
“You didn’t hear a word I just said did you?” His teasing lilt tells me he knows full well how distracted I get by his body.
“Sorry,” I mumble.
Tingles spread over my skin like a web when his hand brushes my cheek and continues down my body to rest on my tummy, drawing lazy patterns on my skin. It is like a compulsion or some sort of OCD that I always want to touch him. Dominic obviously suffers from it, too.
“So, how was your first date?” His finger gently tilts my chin upwards.
“Pretty good.”
“Only pretty good?” He sounds insulted.
“Okay, pretty damn good. I had fun.”
“So, you'll let me take you out again?”
“Yeah, I think I will.”
I roll onto my front so I can look up into his beautiful green eyes, leaving my hand resting on his taut chest. Electricity flows from his fingers down the length of my body as he brushes strands of hair out the way, his slightest touch affecting me.
As his eyes search mine, I’m scared he can see everything that I’m thinking and feeling. This is too real; I am falling in love with him, but I can’t tell him. His knuckles skim down my cheek, taking my chin between his fingers, and he lowers his lips. Soft lips brush against mine in a teasingly slow rhythm until I part them to allow his tongue in.
Desire pools hot and clenching low in my core as the gentle strokes of his tongue send sparks exploding in my tummy. My whole body aches for him and I can’t stifle the moan that tumbles from my lips. Slipping my hand under his T-shirt, I run it up over his ribs to his chest. The grip at the back of my hair increases; he isn’t letting me go anywhere. This is fine by me because at this moment I don’t want to.
Something comes over me as I get lost in his kiss, and I can’t stop the yearning that is growing inside. Maybe it is all of the sexual tension building up over the weeks, but I don’t have the strength to fight it. When I tug the bottom of his T-shirt upward, Dominic pulls it off one handed. My breathing quickens as I watch him, claiming his lips again when it’s off. Even when he murmurs my name, it isn't enough to snap me out of it. My hand has a mind of its own as I unbutton his jeans and slip my hand inside to take hold of him, hot and firm in my grasp. A cry of pleasure explodes from him when my hand slides down his length and back up, circling the tip with my thumb.
With renewed intensity, his tongue fights roughly with mine while he pulls at the strings on my top. It disappears and he begins to kiss a path down to my naked breasts that beg for his mouth to lavish attention on them. His hot mouth closes around my tight nipple, puckered with desire. Goosebumps cover my body while the tip of his tongue slowly teases my nipple until my back bows off the bed. In a sudden rush to get him naked, I push his jeans and boxers down.
Dominic helps maneuver his jeans down his legs and when he springs free, I take him in my hand again. I struggle out of my trousers and kick them to the floor while his hand runs up my thigh and between my legs. I should be embarrassed at how wet and ready I am for him but I’m not—such is the effect he has on me. I forget everything as his finger plunges into me, the rush of pleasure taking my breath away.
All my self-control is lost. While his mouth is on me, his fingers slide in and out and his thumb circles my clit. Quivers wrack my body and I can't help it when I moan his name loudly. My fingers dig into his shoulders as I try to pull him up to kiss me. I want his mouth on mine, and thankfully, he complies. Nestled between my legs, he is now dangerously close to my entrance and I wait with anticipation for him to penetrate me.
We pull apart, his forehead resting on mine, as he looks deep into my soul. Can’t he see how much I w
ant him? Everything I’m thinking, feeling, and wanting reflects in my eyes.
“Charlotte,” he whispers, and I brace myself for what is coming next but the impatient ringing of the doorbell interrupts him from going further. Dominic groans and collapses on top of me. I wrap my legs around him trying to hold him to me.
“Just ignore it,” I plead breathlessly. A sly grin spreads over his face and he kisses me, poised once again to enter me when the bell rings again. He sags and this time moves to get up.
“Wait there, I’ll be right back,” he promises and leans over to give me a lingering kiss before he pulls on his T-shirt and jeans, buttoning them quickly. The door closes quietly behind him as he leaves, and I can’t hear what he says to the person at the door.
My head buries deep in his pillow, and I inhale his smell. It might be a little weird, but I love the way he smells. Things are always so intense between us and I’m about to cave and give into what I’ve wanted from the start. Maybe I should be grateful for the interruption, for the distance between us, but I’m not.
The door opens and Dominic slips in. His eyes are hard and distant, the tenderness from earlier has vanished. Whatever was happening between us is over.
“What is it?” I ask guarded as I struggle to sit up, feeling exposed because I'm naked. Hands bunched into fists, jaw, tightly clenched. Yep, something is definitely wrong. Reaching for my top, I hurriedly put it on before pulling on my jeans. I know it is bad news before he even speaks.
Scrubbing a hand over his face, he sits down on the edge of the bed, angling his body to me. “Charlotte, I-I need you to go. An old friend has turned up and I need to deal with it.” He drags his eyes up to meet mine. They are full of regret, and I pray he doesn’t see the hurt that is evident in mine. My chest squeezes, and I feel like I’ve been kicked in the stomach. I turn my back to him while I slip my feet into my shoes so he doesn’t see the way I gasp for air. My heart is beating in my throat, and I feel lightheaded.
“Sure, no problem.” I concentrate on fastening my shoes because I can’t look at him. I don’t want him to see how rejected I feel. Or to see the tears that shimmer in my eyes.
“Charlotte.” He reaches out for my hand, but I pull it away before he can touch me. I don’t know what has changed, but I’m not about to let him know how upset I am. He looks at me for a minute longer, his expression unreadable, before he opens the door to let me out.
An involuntary gasp of shock slips out when I see an attractive tall blond woman standing in the living room. A Louis Vuitton handbag dangles from her arm and she is dressed head to toe in designer clothes. Long blond hair hangs like silk down her back and purple manicured nails hook her hair behind her ears. Suddenly, I feel very drab and underdressed. Charlie would have given her a run for her money, but Charlotte has given up. Whoever the hell she is…I know I can't compete. Jealousy knots painfully in my stomach, and I start to tremble with anger. Hating the tumultuous feelings that are coursing through me, they at least keep the tears at bay.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize you had company,” she purrs, but it doesn't sound like she is sorry at all.
I plaster on what I hope is a convincing smile. “No big deal. See you around.” My laugh sounds forced as I try to keep the wobble from my voice. I need to get out of here now before I fall apart. With a straight back and my head held high, I walk to the front door. There is no way I want her to see how upset I am. I have some pride. Dominic's stony face never leaves mine. His eyes are hard as he follows me out.
The door swings closed behind us, and Dominic reaches for my hand. I try to resist but he tugs on it and his strength leaves me no choice but to turn around. Stepping closer he rests his hands on my hips. Don't let him distract you, I order myself, but he doesn't try his usual tactic. I stare at my feet, not wanting him to see how hurt and angry I am.
Tilting my chin up, he forces me to meet his eyes, which are awash with unexpected turmoil.
“Charlotte, I’m…” he trails off, at a loss for words. His thumb brushes over my cheek.
I heave out a weary sigh. “Look Dominic, it’s none of my business. I’ll catch you later.” I have so much I want to say to him, to ask him, but I don’t. The fight or flight instinct has kicked in, and I always take flight. Besides, what is the point in embarrassing myself any further?
“I’m sorry,” he says softly and leans down to brush his lips over my forehead. “I’ll call you later.”
“Whatever.” I try to keep my tone even. I don’t want him to know how upset I am at being kicked out of his apartment for a hotter, better-dressed version of the old me.
His gaze hardens, and he opens his mouth to speak, but I turn before he can say anything and walk down the stairs. I reach the landing below when I hear the door close.
How stupid am I? I should’ve never let him convince me. Should’ve never let myself fall for him. And to think I almost slept with him and without a fucking condom, what is wrong with me? My resolve strengthens, and I’m determined to never let myself get in that position again. Maybe if I had slept with him weeks ago, I wouldn’t be in this situation now, with my heart cracked, about to break into millions of pieces at the slightest knock.
Out of habit, I look up at his window and see his silhouette at the window. I quickly look away and climb into my car. The tires squeal loudly as I pull out of the parking space. Gunning the engine, I press down on the accelerator and drive far too fast down the street as my temper runs unchecked through my body.
Screw this.
I can't stop the incessant buzzing in my head, and I have no clue where I'm going so I just drive. Normally, I would be staying with Dominic, but obviously, that isn’t going to happen now. Maybe I should go and get drunk somewhere and find some random stranger to go home with. But as tempting as that sounds, I know it wouldn’t solve anything and would only make things worse. Hey, maybe I am really changing.
• • •
The dorm room is dark when I let myself in. It's probably a good thing that Iris is staying with Bryan. I'm not up to going through the drama at the moment. It isn't until I'm in bed fully clothed that I realize the door is unlocked. Fuck it! I'm not getting up now. Besides, it’s only Dominic who has a thing about me locking it. It feels like a small act of rebellion so I leave it. Too exhausted even to cry, I immediately fall asleep.
It all comes crashing back to me when I wake up. It’s far too early, and although I would have preferred to sleep the day away, I eventually have to drag myself out of bed to pee and brush my teeth.
When I come out of the bathroom, I find Dominic standing in the middle of the room, still wearing last night's clothes, hair all disheveled. The stubble on his chin annoyingly manages to make him look as sexy as hell. My stomach churns as I imagine what he’s been doing. The corners of his mouth are turned down, and he looks mighty pissed off. I manage to scowl around the toothbrush that is sticking out of my mouth. Meanwhile, my heart stutters because he looks too damn gorgeous for this time in the morning.
“What are you doing here?” I mumble around my toothbrush before going into the bathroom to spit. When I come back, he hasn't moved. Well, except to cross his arms defiantly.
“Why the fuck is your door unlocked? I just walked in.” His scowl deepens as his eyes rake over my body, penetrating the thin tight-fitting tank top and pajama bottoms. My cheeks flush under his gaze as my whole body heats up.
“What do you want, Dominic?” The doorframe I lean against is the only thing keeping me upright. I'm exhausted already.
“I came to see you.”
“Why?”
“To apologize about last night.” He breathes out a heavy sigh.
“It doesn't matter.” It does, but I won’t admit that to him.
“Yeah, it does. I shouldn't have asked you to leave.” When I don't answer either way, he carries on. “She ruined our first date. I was having a good time.”
“Me, too.”
“I’m sorry. I should have
made her go,” he says regretfully.
I raise an eyebrow at him. “Were you hedging your bets?” I ask, and he frowns at me.
“It wasn’t like that. I was shocked seeing her there. I was so angry she turned up at my apartment and interrupted us.”
“I bet you were,” I mutter, and his eyes flash with annoyance. It’s immature, but I’m enjoying making this difficult for him and getting some satisfaction from watching him grow more and more irritated.
“That was Mia, my ex-girlfriend.”
Ah-ha, the ex-girlfriend, that explains it, but it doesn't make me feel any better. “You don’t need to tell me.” Part of me doesn’t want to know because if he is honest with me then I’ll have to be honest with him. And I’m not ready for that yet.
“Yes, I do. Mia and I have known each other since we were kids. Our families are friends, they go to the country club together and all that crap. Eventually we started dating. But I wasn't happy. We fought a lot, I was too laid back and she tried to make me jealous, which didn’t work. Then she started cheating on me. I found out and broke it off.” He shrugs his shoulder, like it is no big deal, but my blood boils with anger for him.
“She didn’t love me, and I know now that I didn't love her, either. My father was furious with me; he did business with her dad and said it reflected badly on him. He doesn’t speak to me, and that is why I don’t go home.” He sounds matter of fact about it, but it must be hard for him.
“He was angry with you? It was her fault that she couldn’t keep her legs closed.” A small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.
“She has a certain image to uphold and begged me not to tell them the real reason we were finished. I said it was because I was going away to college, and I didn’t want to be tied down. That wouldn’t have bothered me, but I can’t forgive cheating. I am a faithful boyfriend, you know.”
