A Good Girl

by Jenny Siegal

  When she pulls away from me to look around the room, I move to pick up her bags and bring them inside. There are way too many bags considering she is staying in a hotel and said she would go there first.

  “What’s with all the bags?” I wonder out loud as I carry them into the room.

  “Just some things I thought you might need,” she says dismissively and but avoids looking at me, which makes me suspicious until I open up the nearest bag. It is full of the clothes that I left behind and I roll my eyes skyward.

  “Mom, I don’t need all that stuff. Have you seen the size of my closet? I won’t fit any of it in there,” I point out.

  “I just thought you might want some of it. I actually thought you’d be fed up with this look by now.” She runs her eyes over my outfit but smiles at me.

  “I’m not, as it happens. I’m happy this way.” After a beat, she nods in resignation. My mom is not one to force the issue if she sees that she would be wasting her time.

  Iris chooses that moment to walk through the door, and for once, her timing couldn’t be more perfect. Excitedly, she pulls my mom into a big hug. Mom looks a little taken aback at how affectionate she is but hugs her back. I forgot to warn her that Iris likes to hug, but she’ll get used to it. I have and don’t even think about it now.

  “You are just gorgeous.” My mom gushes over Iris as she holds her at arm's length to run a critical eye over her. “So tall and you have beautiful hair and skin. I bet you have a hard time fighting off all the guys.” Iris blushes a deep shade of red.

  “Are you coming with us to see Dominic play?” Iris asks her, purposely ignoring the daggers I throw at her.

  “What’s this?” Straight away, my mom’s interest is piqued.

  “The band that Dominic is in. We usually go and watch them. They are great,” Iris gushes.

  “Who’s Dominic?” Mom looks at me, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow, a small smile playing on her lips. I have never specifically mentioned Dominic to her. Mainly because I know she would see through all my denials about how we are just friends.

  “A friend,” I jump in before Iris answers.

  “Yeah, right,” Iris mutters under her breath, and I shoot her a look.

  “Sounds like fun.” My mom claps her hands together. “Right, time to get ready. I want to go for something to eat with you two gorgeous girls. Then to this gig and meet your friend, Dominic.” Although she emphasizes the word friend, she knows I’m not telling her everything.

  Iris heads to the bathroom to start getting ready because she takes longer than I do these days.

  “What are you wearing?” Mom asks as she rummages through a bag on my bed. My mom always looks nice, and I know she isn’t happy with what I’m wearing even though I like it. But she is taking us out and I should make the effort for her.

  “What do you think?” Happy that I’ve asked her opinion, she gives me a big smile. After some more rummaging, she pulls out a top that is actually quite nice and not slutty at all.

  “I saw this and thought it would look lovely on you with your skinny jeans. Maybe with some heels?” Which is her way of tactfully saying that she doesn’t like my sneakers.

  “You know you do look happier and more relaxed. Maybe you were right about your reinvention.” She fusses with my hair, which now needs a cut.

  “I am. My priority is not having my nails done, and I like not having to get dressed up all the time just to go to class.” As I try to explain it to her, I think for the first time she is starting to understand.

  “Let’s get dressed up and have a girls’ night, the three of us.” Her eyes sparkle, and I am glad she is here. It will stop me from thinking about a certain someone for a while.

  Once the bathroom is free, I get changed and apply a little make-up, more than normal but still nowhere as much as I used to wear. My only pair of heels is at the back of my closet, and once I’ve wrestled them out from underneath a pile of clothes, I put them on. Even wearing them, I’m still much shorter than Iris.

  “Everyone looks gorgeous. Let’s go and have some fun,” my mom declares, her eyes sparkling as she smiles widely at us both. Iris looks equally as excited and I trail behind them groaning inwardly. This is not going to end well.

  • • •

  My mom chooses the same Mexican restaurant that Dominic took me to on our date. It isn’t her fault, she didn’t know, but regardless my stomach knots when we walk through the doors. Iris flashes me a sympathetic look, and I plaster on my attempt at a happy smile.

  Despite the memory being in this restaurant brings back, dinner is fun, and we have a good time. Mom asks all about our classes, what we’ve been doing, and of course, her favorite subject, men. Iris tells her all about Bryan, and I realize that she has totally fallen for him. Has she told him she loves him, I wonder?

  Just when I think I've gotten away with it, Mom turns her attention to me. From the determined look on her face, I know I'm in for it. It's too easy to hide things from her over the phone, but when I am face to face with her, she picks up on the slightest thing because she knows me too well.

  “So, tell me about Dominic.” She leans forward and fixes me with a probing look. I nearly bite my tongue in half to stop myself from gushing about how gorgeous he is.

  “He’s a friend.” I try to meet her steady gaze, but it feels like she can see right through me and I have to look away. “He plays guitar for a local band; you’ll like them.”

  “Uh-huh.” She eyes me suspiciously, and although she knows I am being less than truthful, she lets it go for now. The interrogation will come eventually, and I need to work on sounding more convincing when I tell her that we are just friends.

  By the time we finish our meal, Mom and Iris are a bit tipsy from all the margaritas they've been drinking. Thank God, I'm driving. It would have been too easy to drink, but I can’t risk giving into temptation when I see a certain hot guitar player. Nothing has been said, but I know we are headed to see Supercharged play.

  • • •

  The Captain’s Cabin is as busy as usual when Supercharged is playing, but we manage to snag a booth near the front. The noise of the crowd means I’m able to drown out Mom and Iris, who are giggling like children. Screaming and cheering from the crowd welcomes the band onto the stage.

  Dominic is a sight for sore eyes. My heart jumps into my throat and the knot in my stomach intensifies as soon as I lay eyes on him. His jeans sit low on his hips as usual and I imagine the V of his hips as if I have x-ray vision. A tight-fitting T-shirt shows off his lean body and strong arms. A surge of emotion builds in my chest, and I have to fight against it because I don’t want to break down here. They sound amazing, as usual, and I catch my mom watching him closely. She is definitely taken with him. Typical. She went through a phase of dating younger guys a while back.

  “Oh, he’s hot. I bet all the girls are after him,” she shouts to Iris.

  “Yeah, although he isn’t interested in any of them.” Iris aims a pointed glance in my direction, and I respond by sticking my tongue out at her. That's my cue to go to the bar for another drink before I hear the rest of what she has to say.

  For once, I don't mind the long line at the bar. Not if it means I am able to watch the band uninterrupted. Even once I have my drink, I don’t bother heading back to the booth but stand at the bar and watch Dominic play. I’m not even paying attention to the other guys this time. Not because they aren’t any good, but I only have eyes for one musician. It gives me an excuse to watch him and drool over him openly.

  The set finishes, and I'm in no rush to get back so I order another Diet Coke. I can only drink so much Diet Coke in one night, and I’m nearing my limit. Glancing over I can see my mom and Iris are still deep in conversation. Better to leave them to it, especially as I get the feeling they are talking about me.

  The hairs on my arms stand on end, and when I look up, Dominic is standing beside me. Dark eyes flicker over me and my body responds with an involunt
ary shiver as he moves closer and puts his arm around my shoulder. He smells amazing and a mixture of his aftershave and sweat assaults my senses. It should be disgusting, but on him, it is intoxicating. When he pulls me closer to him, I give in for a second and rest my head on his chest, enjoying his strength while he brushes his lips against my hair.

  “I've missed you,” he mumbles into my hair and begrudgingly I admit the same. It was stupid of me to think that it might actually get easier—that by avoiding him it would somehow lessen the pain. How wrong was I? If anything, it’s only made me miss him more. I’ve missed seeing his gorgeous green eyes, his beautiful smile, and more than anything, I've missed being in his arms.

  “Babe, you're not listening.” Laughter rumbles deep in his chest. Of course, I wasn't listening; I'm too busy thinking about how good it feels to have his arms around me. Is that so bad?

  “Huh.” I look up to meet his intense stare.

  “You look gorgeous.” He moves a strand of hair out the way, and his lips skim across my forehead.

  “Dominic.” My eyes flash a warning at him.

  “What?”

  “You are making this harder.”

  “Of course, I am. I'm not going to stop until you agree that you want this.”

  “We're supposed to be friends.”

  “No, we’re not,” he refuses bluntly. “Friends don’t feel the way we do about each other. I thought we had already decided this.”

  “No, they don’t, but—” I trail off when I see the determined set to his jaw and realize there is no use arguing with him. We stand, eyes locked, and stare at each other for a long minute. To break the standoff, I reach for my drink and finish it.

  “How have you been?”

  “Fine.” I drum my fingers on the top of the bar. Dominic's eyes narrow with annoyance and his hand clamps down to silence them, long fingers wrap around mine, forcing me to look at him.

  “No, you're not.”

  “No, I'm not, but I need to be.”

  “Come on, babe. Stop fighting it. Can't we just get past this?” He runs a hand through his hair in frustration.

  “Dominic, I-”

  “We both know you are lying to yourself. You want this, too.” His voice is like steel matching the dangerous glint in his eyes. Heat courses through me gathering in my core. I give a small nod and open my mouth to agree, but he takes me by surprise. Leaning toward me, his mouth claims mine, in a deep kiss that is full of longing and promise. The hand at the small of my back pulls me flush with his body.

  “I won't give up,” he whispers against my lips and pulls back. Stunned, I am at a loss for words, and it is at that minute that my mom and Iris choose to show up.

  The appearance of the two of them, arm in arm, swaying together slightly, is like a bucket of cold water being thrown over me.

  “For fuck’s sake, you’re both wasted,” I shout at them, taking my frustration, most definitely sexual, out on them. Iris looks at me in surprise, and my mom just smiles.

  “Now is that any way to speak to your mother and your best friend,” she slurs.

  “How did this happen? When I left, you were drinking water. Wait, never mind. Let’s go.” I sigh, taking her by the arm. Mom doesn’t budge when she notices Dominic standing there.

  “You must be Dominic.” She holds out a manicured hand. “You’re hot. I hear my daughter hasn’t succumbed to your charms, who would have thought it?” I stare at her, willing her to shut up.

  Dominic watches the three of us, an amused smile playing on his lips as he takes her outstretched hand.

  “Pity I’m spoken for—”

  “What the fuck? Since when are you spoken for? And gross, you are old enough to be his mother.” I start to pull her away without much help from Iris, who staggers slightly and stifles a giggle that becomes a hiccup behind her hand.

  “Do you need me to come, too?” he asks concerned, but I hear the amusement that laces his voice.

  “No, I’ll be fine. I’ve done this more times than I care to remember,” I say bitterly.

  Over his shoulder, I notice a girl waiting for him and that just fuels my bad temper. Not caring what she or anyone thinks, I glare openly at her.

  I flick my head in her direction. “Someone’s waiting for you.” The venom drips from my voice, and my eyes flash with annoyance. Dominic’s eyebrows arch at my expression and the tone of my voice. As he looks over his shoulder, the girl gives him a wide smile, which he ignores and moves closer to me. Catching my wrist in his hand, he pulls me back against his chest. One hand rests on my ass, heat radiating up my spine. The other hand cups the back of my head, holding me in place as his lips claim mine, taking me by surprise.

  Willingly, I let his tongue invade my mouth, coaxing me to kiss him back. Everything else melts away as I return his kiss—my mom, Iris, the girl standing there. Even my worry about him breaking my heart disappears at that moment. My body is on fire. At least it is being honest, admitting what my heart won't. That I want him and trying to forget about him isn't working. A final soft brush of his lips, and he leans back to look at me.

  “This isn't over. We will happen, you know. I will prove I want only you. I. Am. Not. Interested. In. Anyone. Else, Charlotte,” he whispers in my ear emphasizing each word, before kissing my cheek and, leaving it burning from where his lips touch me. Cursing him under my breath, I turn my attention back to my drunken-ass mother and my best friend.

  • • •

  Iris helps me get my mom back to the hotel room, which is no small task considering she’s drunk, too. My mom starts to mumble incoherently when the fresh air hits her. Luckily, I am the only one who can understand what she is saying. Iris is oblivious, but I know she is telling Iris about how different I was in high school. Once we get her upstairs to her room, I open her door and push her on the bed with a little more force that is necessary.

  “Go wait for me downstairs,” I say to Iris. “I’ll just put her into bed and then I’ll be there.” After hugging my mom and telling her how great she is, Iris eventually leaves. I start to pull off Mom’s shoes, but that’s as far as I’m going; there’s no way that I am undressing her. This isn’t the first time that I’ve had to put her to bed in this condition.

  “Why are you doing this?” she asks me, her gaze penetrating straight through me. And in that instant, she looks remarkably coherent.

  “What, putting you to bed?” I pull back the covers and try to get her to lie down.

  “No, the way you are behaving.” Although she is slurring her words, I know she wants to get something off her chest, but I don’t want to get into an argument with her. Not when she’s drunk. My mom is normally very good-natured, but she can be vicious when she’s drunk. I sigh. I just want to go home, and this has been a shitty night, topping off a shitty week.

  “I told you that I don’t want to be like I was in high school. Let’s face it, Mom, I was a tramp.” She flinches slightly at my bluntness, but I'm past sugar coating it for her.

  “I was out of control. All the partying and sleeping around. It had to stop.” This is the first time I’ve spelled it out for her. She only saw what she wanted to see and tended to bury her head in the sand. As I got older, she was out on dates most weekends and I didn’t need a babysitter so she didn’t actually have a clue what I was up to. Her mouth drops open in shock. Well, she knows now. “Sleeping around?” Her immaculately made-up face displays confusion.

  “Oh, come on, Mom. You were never there on a Saturday night. You didn’t know whether I would come home or not. It’s a little late to be giving me a lecture on moral values. But I’m not like that anymore. That’s why I wanted to change. I know you don’t like the way I look or dress, but I’m happy, okay? For the first time, I like who I am. Can’t you accept that?” My head falls into my hands in exasperation. After a minute, I feel her hand on my back rubbing it gently back and forth.

  “What about Dominic?” My eyes narrow at her. “What has he got to do with a
nything?” I don’t even know why she would bring him up. I’ve never told her about him.

  “Iris told me all about the two of you. She told me you like him but for some reason you have pushed him away. According to Iris, he likes you, too.”

  That traitor, wait until I get my hands on her.

  “He’s my friend,” I protest. That old chestnut again.

  “Hmm, from what I hear, you’re more than that.” How does she remember what Iris has told her while she is drunk?

  “I don’t want to have to tell him what I was really like,” I blurt out.

  “Oh, honey, you need to take that risk. Just be honest with him. I saw the way he was with you, and I only saw him for five minutes.” Damn Iris, I never told my mom anything about Dominic because I would never have heard the end of it. Stubbornness takes hold and I don’t answer her.

  “If you don't, you will lose him.” Her soft voice does nothing to dull her harsh words that cut through me like a knife.

  “You’re good at shutting people out, Charlie, and you’re doing the same to him. You will keep pushing him away until he’s had enough and you will lose him. I’m sure there are plenty of other girls waiting to take your place.” Her voice is full of conviction as she tells it like it is. I suck in a breath. She’s hit a nerve, dammit. How does she know these things?

  “Whatever, I want to get to bed. Get some rest and I’ll see you in the morning,” I say defeated. I don’t have the energy to argue with her, not that we argue very often, but I’m not doing it with her while she’s drunk.

  “Don’t you ‘whatever’ me, Charlie. I do actually know what I’m talking about. Take a chance on him and stop denying how you really feel or it will be too late.” With that, she flops down on the bed and closes her eyes. As I leave, I turn off the overhead light and close the door behind me.

  Iris is waiting for me. Slumped on one of the sofas in the reception area, she looks like she could be asleep. I open my mouth to rant at her for telling my mom all about Dominic and me, but she looks exhausted, so I decide to leave it.