The Oxford Shakespeare: The Complete Works
Page 194
BENEDICK
Two of them have the very bent of honour,
And if their wisdoms be misled in this
The practice of it lives in John the bastard,
Whose spirits toil in frame of villainies.
LEONATO
I know not. If they speak but truth of her
These hands shall tear her. If they wrong her honour
The proudest of them shall well hear of it.
Time hath not yet so dried this blood of mine,
Nor age so eat up my invention,
Nor fortune made such havoc of my means,
Nor my bad life reft me so much of friends,
But they shall find awaked in such a kind
Both strength of limb and policy of mind,
Ability in means, and choice of friends,
To quit me of them throughly.
FRIAR Pause awhile,
And let my counsel sway you in this case.
Your daughter here the princes left for dead,
Let her a while be secretly kept in,
And publish it that she is dead indeed.
Maintain a mourning ostentation,
And on your family’s old monument
Hang mournful epitaphs, and do all rites
That appertain unto a burial.
LEONATO
What shall become of this? What will this do?
FRIAR
Marry, this, well carried, shall on her behalf
Change slander to remorse. That is some good.
But not for that dream I on this strange course,
But on this travail look for greater birth.
She—dying, as it must be so maintained,
Upon the instant that she was accused—
Shall be lamented, pitied, and excused
Of every hearer. For it so falls out
That what we have, we prize not to the worth
Whiles we enjoy it, but, being lacked and lost,
Why then we rack the value, then we find
The virtue that possession would not show us
Whiles it was ours. So will it fare with Claudio.
When he shall hear she died upon his words,
Th’idea of her life shall sweetly creep
Into his study of imagination,
And every lovely organ of her life
Shall come apparelled in more precious habit,
More moving-delicate, and full of life,
Into the eye and prospect of his soul
Than when she lived indeed. Then shall he mourn,
If ever love had interest in his liver,
And wish he had not so accusèd her,
No, though he thought his accusation true.
Let this be so, and doubt not but success
Will fashion the event in better shape
Than I can lay it down in likelihood.
But if all aim but this be levelled false,
The supposition of the lady’s death
Will quench the wonder of her infamy.
And if it sort not well, you may conceal her,
As best befits her wounded reputation,
In some reclusive and religious life,
Out of all eyes, tongues, minds, and injuries.
BENEDICK
Signor Leonato, let the Friar advise you.
And though you know my inwardness and love
Is very much unto the Prince and Claudio,
Yet, by mine honour, I will deal in this
As secretly and justly as your soul
Should with your body.
LEONATO Being that I flow in grief,
The smallest twine may lead me.
FRIAR
’Tis well consented. Presently away,
For to strange sores strangely they strain the cure.
(To Hero) Come, lady, die to live. This wedding day
Perhaps is but prolonged. Have patience, and endure.
Exeunt all but Beatrice and Benedick
BENEDICK Lady Beatrice, have you wept all this while?
BEATRICE Yea, and I will weep a while longer.
BENEDICK I will not desire that.
BEATRICE You have no reason, I do it freely.
BENEDICK Surely I do believe your fair cousin is wronged.
BEATRICE Ah, how much might the man deserve of me that would right her!
BENEDICK Is there any way to show such friendship?
BEATRICE A very even way, but no such friend.
BENEDICK May a man do it?
BEATRICE It is a man’s office, but not yours.
BENEDICK I do love nothing in the world so well as you. Is not that strange?
BEATRICE As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you, but believe me not, and yet I lie not. I confess nothing nor I deny nothing. I am sorry for my cousin.
BENEDICK By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me.
BEATRICE Do not swear and eat it.
BENEDICK I will swear by it that you love me, and I will make him eat it that says I love not you.
BEATRICE Will you not eat your word?
BENEDICK With no sauce that can be devised to it. I protest I love thee.
BEATRICE Why then, God forgive me.
BENEDICK What offence, sweet Beatrice?
BEATRICE You have stayed me in a happy hour. I was about to protest I loved you.
BENEDICK And do it with all thy heart.
BEATRICE I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.
BENEDICK Come, bid me do anything for thee.
BEATRICE Kill Claudio.
BENEDICK Ha! Not for the wide world.
BEATRICE You kill me to deny it. Farewell.
BENEDICK Tarry, sweet Beatrice.
BEATRICE I am gone though I am here. There is no love in you.—Nay, I pray you, let me go. 295
BENEDICK Beatrice.
BEATRICE In faith, I will go.
BENEDICK We’ll be friends first.
BEATRICE You dare easier be friends with me than fight with mine enemy.
BENEDICK Is Claudio thine enemy?
BEATRICE Is a not approved in the height a villain, that hath slandered, scorned, dishonoured my kinswoman? O that I were a man! What, bear her in hand until they come to take hands, and then with public accusation, uncovered slander, unmitigated rancour—O God that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market place.
BENEDICK Hear me, Beatrice.
BEATRICE Talk with a man out at a window—a proper saying!
BENEDICK Nay, but Beatrice.
BEATRICE Sweet Hero, she is wronged, she is slandered, she is undone.
BENEDICK Beat—
BEATRICE Princes and counties! Surely a princely testimony, a goodly count, Count Comfit, a sweet gallant, surely. O that I were a man for his sake! Or that I had any friend would be a man for my sake! But manhood is melted into courtesies, valour into compliment, and men are only turned into tongue, and trim ones, too. He is now as valiant as Hercules that only tells a lie and swears it. I cannot be a man with wishing, therefore I will die a woman with grieving. 324
BENEDICK Tarry, good Beatrice. By this hand, I love thee.
BEATRICE Use it for my love some other way than swearing by it.
BENEDICK Think you in your soul the Count Claudio hath wronged Hero?
BEATRICE Yea, as sure as I have a thought or a soul.
BENEDICK Enough, I am engaged, I will challenge him. I will kiss your hand, and so I leave you. By this hand, Claudio shall render me a dear account. As you hear of me, so think of me. Go comfort your cousin. I must say she is dead. And so, farewell. Exeunt
4.2 Enter Dogberry and Verges the constables, and the Sexton, in gowns, and the Watch, with Conrad and Borachio
DOGBERRY Is our whole dissembly appeared?
VERGES O, a stool and a cushion for the Sexton.
SEXTON ⌈sits⌉ Which be the malefactors?
DOGBERRY Marry, that am
I, and my partner.
VERGES Nay, that’s certain, we have the exhibition to examine.
SEXTON But which are the offenders that are to be examined? Let them come before Master Constable.
DOGBERRY Yea, marry, let them come before me. What is your name, friend?
BORACHIO Borachio.
DOGBERRY (to the Sexton) Pray write down ‘Borachio’. (To Conrad) Yours, sirrah?
CONRAD I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrad.
DOGBERRY Write down ‘Master Gentleman Conrad’.—Masters, do you serve God?
CONRAD and BORACHIO Yea, sir, we hope.
DOGBERRY Write down that they hope they serve God. And write ‘God’ first, for God defend but God should go before such villains. Masters, it is proved already that you are little better than false knaves, and it will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer you for yourselves?
CONRAD Marry, sir, we say we are none.
DOGBERRY A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you, but I will go about with him. Come you hither, sirrah. A word in your ear, sir. I say to you it is thought you are false knaves.
BORACHIO Sir, I say to you we are none.
DOGBERRY Well, stand aside. Fore God, they are both in a tale. Have you writ down that they are none?
SEXTON Master Constable, you go not the way to examine. You must call forth the watch that are their accusers.
DOGBERRY Yea, marry, that’s the eftest way. Let the watch come forth. Masters, I charge you in the Prince’s name accuse these men.
FIRST WATCHMAN This man said, sir, that Don John, the Prince’s brother, was a villain.
DOGBERRY Write down Prince John a villain. Why, this is flat perjury, to call a prince’s brother villain.
BORACHIO Master Constable.
DOGBERRY Pray thee, fellow, peace. I do not like thy look, I promise thee.
SEXTON What heard you him say else?
SECOND WATCHMAN Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John for accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully.
DOGBERRY Flat burglary, as ever was committed.
VERGES Yea, by mass, that it is.
SEXTON What else, fellow?
FIRST WATCHMAN And that Count Claudio did mean upon his words to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly, and not marry her.
DOGBERRY O villain! Thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this.
SEXTON What else?
WATCH This is all.
SEXTON And this is more, masters, than you can deny.
Prince John is this morning secretly stolen away. Hero
was in this manner accused, in this very manner
refused, and upon the grief of this suddenly died. Master
Constable, let these men be bound and brought to
Leonato’s. I will go before and show him their
examination. Exit
DOGBERRY Come, let them be opinioned.
VERGES Let them be, in the hands—
⌈CONRAD⌉ Off, coxcomb!
DOGBERRY God’s my life, where’s the Sexton? Let him write down the Prince’s officer coxcomb. Come, bind them. Thou naughty varlet!
CONRAD Away, you are an ass, you are an ass.
DOGBERRY Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? O that he were here to write me down an ass! But masters, remember that I am an ass. Though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass. No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow, and which is more, an officer, and which is more, a householder, and which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Messina, and one that knows the law, go to, and a rich fellow enough, go to, and a fellow that hath had losses, and one that hath two gowns, and everything handsome about him. Bring him away. O that I had been writ down an ass! Exeunt
5.1 Enter Leonato and Antonio his brother ANTONIO
If you go on thus, you will kill yourself,
And ’tis not wisdom thus to second grief
Against yourself.
LEONATO I pray thee cease thy counsel,
Which falls into mine ears as profitless
As water in a sieve. Give not me counsel,
Nor let no comforter delight mine ear
But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine.
Bring me a father that so loved his child,
Whose joy of her is overwhelmed like mine,
And bid him speak of patience.
Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine,
And let it answer every strain for strain,
As thus for thus, and such a grief for such,
In every lineament, branch, shape, and form.
If such a one will smile and stroke his beard,
Bid sorrow wag, cry ‘hem’ when he should groan,
Patch grief with proverbs, make misfortune drunk
With candle-wasters, bring him yet to me,
And I of him will gather patience.
But there is no such man, for, brother, men
Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief
Which they themselves not feel, but tasting it
Their counsel turns to passion, which before
Would give preceptial medicine to rage,
Fetter strong madness in a silken thread,
Charm ache with air and agony with words.
No, no, ’tis all men’s office to speak patience
To those that wring under the load of sorrow,
But no man’s virtue nor sufficiency
To be so moral when he shall endure
The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel.
My griefs cry louder than advertisement.
ANTONIO
Therein do men from children nothing differ.
LEONATO
I pray thee peace, I will be flesh and blood,
For there was never yet philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently,
However they have writ the style of gods,
And made a pish at chance and sufferance.
ANTONIO
Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself.
Make those that do offend you suffer, too.
LEONATO
There thou speak’st reason, nay I will do so.
My soul doth tell me Hero is belied,
And that shall Claudio know, so shall the Prince,
And all of them that thus dishonour her.Enter Don Pedro the Prince and Claudio
ANTONIO
Here comes the Prince and Claudio hastily.
DON PEDRO
Good e‘en, good e’en.
CLAUDIO Good day to both of you.
LEONATO
Hear you, my lords?
DON PEDRO We have some haste, Leonato.
LEONATO
Some haste, my lord! Well, fare you well, my lord.
Are you so hasty now? Well, all is one.
DON PEDRO
Nay, do not quarrel with us, good old man.
ANTONIO
If he could right himself with quarrelling,
Some of us would lie low.
CLAUDIO Who wrongs him?
LEONATO
Marry, thou dost wrong me, thou dissembler, thou.
Nay, never lay thy hand upon thy sword,
I fear thee not.
CLAUDIO Marry, beshrew my hand
If it should give your age such cause of fear.
In faith, my hand meant nothing to my sword.
LEONATO
Tush, tush, man, never fleer and jest at me.
I speak not like a dotard nor a fool,
As under privilege of age to brag
What I have done being young, or what would do
Were I not old. Know Claudio to thy head,
Thou hast so wronged mine innocent child and me
That I am forced to lay my reverence by
And with grey hairs and bruise of many days
Do challenge thee to trial of a man.
Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart,
And she lies buried with her ancestors,
O, in a tomb where never scandal slept
Save this of hers, framed by thy villainy.
CLAUDIO
My villainy?
LEONATO Thine, Claudio, thine I say.
DON PEDRO
You say not right, old man.
LEONATO My lord, my lord,
I’ll prove it on his body if he dare,
Despite his nice fence and his active practice,
His May of youth and bloom of lustihood.
CLAUDIO
Away, I will not have to do with you.
LEONATO
Canst thou so doff me? Thou hast killed my child.
If thou kill’st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man.
ANTONIO
He shall kill two of us, and men indeed.
But that’s no matter, let him kill one first.
Win me and wear me. Let him answer me.
Come follow me boy, come sir boy, come follow me,
Sir boy, I’ll whip you from your foining fence.
Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will.
LEONATO Brother.
ANTONIO
Content yourself. God knows, I loved my niece,
And she is dead, slandered to death by villains
That dare as well answer a man indeed
As I dare take a serpent by the tongue.
Boys, apes, braggarts, jacks, milksops!
LEONATO Brother Antony—
ANTONIO
Hold you content. What, man, I know them, yea
And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple.
Scambling, outfacing, fashion-monging boys,
That lie, and cog, and flout, deprave, and slander,
Go anticly, and show an outward hideousness,
And speak off half a dozen dangerous words,
How they might hurt their enemies, if they durst,
And this is all.
LEONATO But brother Antony—
ANTONIO Come, ’tis no matter,
Do not you meddle, let me deal in this.
DON PEDRO
Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience.
My heart is sorry for your daughter’s death,
But on my honour she was charged with nothing
But what was true and very full of proof.
LEONATO
My lord, my lord—
DON PEDRO I will not hear you.
LEONATO
No? Come brother, away. I will be heard.
ANTONIO
And shall, or some of us will smart for it.
Exeunt Leonato and Antonio